The Sweet Taste Of Youth

| Dublin, Ireland | Employees, Food & Drink, Underaged

(I look young and often got IDed when i was younger but this one sticks out in my memory.)

Me: “Can I have a Baileys with ice, please, and do you sell chocolate?”

Barman: “Yes, we have a few.” *names a couple of chocolate bars*

Me: “I’ll have [Chocolate Bar], please, and the Baileys.”

Barman: *looks around trying to see where I’ve been sitting with a confused look on his face* “Who are you here with?”

Me: *confused* “Oh, I’m meeting a few friends here but they’re running late.”

Barman: “But who’s the drink for?”

(I realise he doesn’t just think I’m underage, he thinks I’m so young my parents have sent me to the bar!)

Me: “It’s for me. I’m 23.”

(He was nice enough to apologise.)

Raising The Joke

| QLD, Australia | Coworkers, Language & Words

(We’re at one of our weekly team lunches at a pub near our office. By this point, several colleagues have gone back to the office. Two of my workmates are at the far end of the table are talking, and I’m discussing baby names with another one. This colleague is a single mother.)

Me: “On another note, [Colleague], my wife and I will be going for a baby in a few months. Given that you’re a mother, I was wondering if I could ask you for advice—”

(At this point, she starts cracking up laughing, bent double over the table. I’m just able to make out what she says next.)

Colleague: “Advice on making the baby?”

Me: “That’s not what I meant! I should have phrased that better.”

(She nods, still laughing.)

Me: “I meant advice on raising the baby. You didn’t let me finish.”

Colleague: *still laughing* “Of course you can.”

(Once the laughter has subsided, I check that the other two workmates haven’t heard. They hadn’t.)

Me: “Please don’t tell anyone else about this.”

Colleague: *jokingly* “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone who knows you.”

Making Certain Allowances For Age

, | CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees

(I’m at a restaurant with my mother picking up a to-go order, when I reach for my wallet to pay.)

Waiter: *turns to my mom* “Is she paying with her allowance?”

Me: “No— I… How old are you?”

Waiter: *offended* “I’m thirty-four.”

Mom: “How old does she look?”

Waiter: “Older than sixteen.”

Me: “I’m twenty four.”

(He apologized profusely. And said one day I’d appreciate looking so young. This happens all the time.)

Doesn’t Have The Sheep’s Stomach For Your Assumptions

| Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Employees, Food & Drink, Tourists & Travel

(I am a Canadian backpacker and go into a pub on the Royal Mile in Edinburgh. I approach the bartender.)

Me: “Hi, ‘scuse me, I had a question about the menu—”

Bartender: *sigh* “Haggis is sheep’s liver, lungs and heart, cooked in its stomach, and no, I’m not joking.”

Me: “I know THAT. My parents are both members of the Royal Vancouver Island Scottish Country Dance Society and my friends all think they’re terminally weird after hearing about how we have to drink a toast to sheep guts every January 25th. Now could you please tell me how many sausages come with the bangers and mash?”

Speaking Of The Christmas Party…

| Coworkers, Holidays

(We’re at the office Christmas party and Coworker #1 has had way too much to drink and is now shouting every few seconds. I’m chatting with Coworker #2.)

Me: “I think [Coworker #1] has reached his limit.”

(Coworker #2 glances over at Coworker #1.)

Coworker #1: “ROCK AND ROLL!”

Coworker #2: “Nope. He can still speak.”

Page 1/1012345...Last