Here’s Your Rum And Coke, Mistress

| Annapolis, MD, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

(I meet my husband at a bar after I’m done with work.)

Husband: “You look like you’re ready for a drink.”

Me: “Yeah, a little bit. Could I have a rum and Coke, please?”

Bartender: “No problem. You look a little stressed.”

Me: “I had a long evening at work. I’m just glad to be off.”

Bartender: “You got a hard job?”

Me: “Just a really, really weird one.”

Bartender: “It can’t be that strange.”

Me: “It’s pretty weird.”

Bartender: “I bet I’ve heard of weirder!”

Me: “I’m a professional dominatrix.”

Bartender: “…”

Me: “I just spent all evening spanking people and calling them really nasty names.”

Bartender: “Okay… you got me there.”


There Is Mushroom For Improvement

| UK | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Wild & Unruly

(I am 15 and work in a pub as a waitress on weekends. The pub is owned by a couple; the guy works in the kitchen and the woman runs the bar and waitresses. The head chef (not the owner) is in his 40s and only got the job because the old one left and nobody else wanted it. A family has complained that something is missing from their meal.)

Me: “Hey, [Head Chef], table five is missing mushrooms with their gammon. Can I get some on a side plate or something, please?”

Head Chef: “Tell table five they need to learn to read the f****** menu.”

(I go and check the menu myself then take it up to the kitchen.)

Me: “Sorry to bother you again, but it says mushrooms in the menu.”

(I try to show him but he snatches the menu out of my hand and then throws it, narrowly missing me and hitting the wall behind me. He then starts verbally abusing me for several minutes. The guy owner is standing behind him but does nothing. I try to walk away.)

Head Chef: “Don’t walk away until I say you can, b****. Now go tell table five they aren’t getting any f****** mushrooms!”

(I go to table five and explain they won’t be getting mushrooms in politer terms. I’m nearly in tears. I then go to the woman owner who is behind the bar.)

Me: “I quit. If you want to know why ask [Head Chef] and your husband.”

(I removed my apron, burst into tears, and left. She called me the next day and apologised, but when I asked she told me the head chef wouldn’t apologise and they wouldn’t make him. I got a better part time job pretty quickly. Over the next three years they had a high turnover of waiting staff and got a reputation as a bad employer and for not providing what the menu offers. The year after I left for university the place burned down in what was widely suspected to be an insurance job and they sold the site to a chain.)


Tequila Myself Slowly

| NY, USA | Food & Drink

Bartender: “What can I get you?”

Me: “A slow and painful death.”

Bartender: “…”

Me: “…”

Bartender: “…”

Me: “…”

Bartender: “Tequila shots coming right up!”


No Barrier To Drinking

, | Arlington, VA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink

(In Virginia, open containers of alcohol are not allowed in public area. However, if a restaurant has sidewalk/outdoor patio space, they can get a permit to serve alcohol there, as long as their seating area on the sidewalk is designated with some sort of physical indicator.)

Me: *in chained-off patio area, talking to woman across the patio* “Hey, Trish! Did you—”

(I realize it’s too noisy for her to hear me, so I walk around the patio, outside of the chain, and then talk to Trish. I’m still holding my bottle of beer.)

Waitress: “[My Name]! You can’t have your beer outside of our patio!”

(I look down, and see I’m still on the outside of the chain. I then step over the chain, but put my feet in the exact same place, but now the chain is behind my calves.)

Waitress: “That’s better.”


The Misery Menu

| Germany | Bad Behavior, Employees

(My mum and I just went for a fun run in a city we have never been to. Afterwards we decide to go out for a few drinks, and settle for a ‘beach bar’ on the river. The drinks and snack food menus are hung up all over the bar counter.)

Mum: “I’d like a [French pizza] and…”

Female Bartender: *cutting her off, sighing, and in a sharp voice* “No food.”

Mum: *hesitating* “But… it’s on the menu?”

Female Bartender: *sighing more heavily while rolling her eyes* “Well, yes. But we are out of [French pizza].”

Mum: “So… you still have everything else available?”

Female Bartender: “I guess…”

(My mum finishes her order and then turns to me so I can say what I’d like. Note that there is, weirdly enough, almost no audible music and everyone is keeping fairly quiet.)

Me: “I’d like a Gin ‘n’ Tonic and a Panini.”

Female Bartender: “Well, I didn’t understand a f****** word. Can you speak up or what?”

(Needless to say, we downed our drinks and left. If you are so miserable, why not work somewhere without contact to people?)

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