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Tequila Myself Slowly

| NY, USA | Food & Drink

Bartender: “What can I get you?”

Me: “A slow and painful death.”

Bartender: “…”

Me: “…”

Bartender: “…”

Me: “…”

Bartender: “Tequila shots coming right up!”

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No Barrier To Drinking

, | Arlington, VA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink

(In Virginia, open containers of alcohol are not allowed in public area. However, if a restaurant has sidewalk/outdoor patio space, they can get a permit to serve alcohol there, as long as their seating area on the sidewalk is designated with some sort of physical indicator.)

Me: *in chained-off patio area, talking to woman across the patio* “Hey, Trish! Did you—”

(I realize it’s too noisy for her to hear me, so I walk around the patio, outside of the chain, and then talk to Trish. I’m still holding my bottle of beer.)

Waitress: “[My Name]! You can’t have your beer outside of our patio!”

(I look down, and see I’m still on the outside of the chain. I then step over the chain, but put my feet in the exact same place, but now the chain is behind my calves.)

Waitress: “That’s better.”

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The Misery Menu

| Germany | Bad Behavior, Employees

(My mum and I just went for a fun run in a city we have never been to. Afterwards we decide to go out for a few drinks, and settle for a ‘beach bar’ on the river. The drinks and snack food menus are hung up all over the bar counter.)

Mum: “I’d like a [French pizza] and…”

Female Bartender: *cutting her off, sighing, and in a sharp voice* “No food.”

Mum: *hesitating* “But… it’s on the menu?”

Female Bartender: *sighing more heavily while rolling her eyes* “Well, yes. But we are out of [French pizza].”

Mum: “So… you still have everything else available?”

Female Bartender: “I guess…”

(My mum finishes her order and then turns to me so I can say what I’d like. Note that there is, weirdly enough, almost no audible music and everyone is keeping fairly quiet.)

Me: “I’d like a Gin ‘n’ Tonic and a Panini.”

Female Bartender: “Well, I didn’t understand a f****** word. Can you speak up or what?”

(Needless to say, we downed our drinks and left. If you are so miserable, why not work somewhere without contact to people?)

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Raising The Bar For Bad Management

, | Berlin, Germany | Bosses & Owners, Ignoring & Inattentive, Popular

(I am a waitress, but I sometimes work at the bar if we are short-staffed. My manager is known to be unpleasant and very inconsistent. In this story, I am working at the bar, but have quickly brought an order to the kitchen that my coworker forgot.)

Manager: *upon noticing me being gone from the bar for a few seconds* “Why are you running around!? You’re supposed to be behind the bar! If I see you away from the bar I’ll get you written up.”

Me: “Oh, sorry, I’ll make sure to stay here.”

(About an hour later I have diligently stayed behind the bar.)

Manager: “Why are you behind the bar!? There are tables that have to be cleared; you shouldn’t just stand behind the bar! I’ll have you written up for this!”

Me: “But…”

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A Fine Study In Bad Service

| UK | Bigotry, Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink, Popular

(I’m in a group of 20 students on our way to London. We decide to stop at a pub for a quick break. Half of us go to the bar, while the other half shove some tables together. The group at the bar return without drinks.)

Friend: “The barman said the card machine’s having some problems.”

Me: “That’s fine. I’ve got cash.”

(I go to the bar and speak to a barwoman.)

Me: “Could I have a bottle of [Soda], please?”

Barwoman: “Certainly.”

(She goes to fetch it, but the barman pulls her aside for a quiet word. She comes back.)

Barwoman: “I need to see some ID.”

Me: “I’m only drinking [Soda].”

Barwoman: “I need to see it anyway.”

(Since we’re all over 18 anyway, I show her my driving license.)

Me: “Can I get a drink now?”

Barwoman: “The machine’s down.”

Me: “I’ve got cash.”

Barwoman: “Oh, it’s not just the card machine. It’s the whole till.”

(We wait patiently, after a while, I spot them serving an elderly couple down the end of the bar. We go back up, but the barman looks annoyed.)

Barman: “I keep telling you, the till isn’t working.”

Friend #2: “But you just served them.”

Barman: “Oh, that till’s working. Ot’s this one that isn’t.”

Me: “Well, could you serve us on that till?”

Barman: “No, sorry. That one’s gone down as well now.”

(At this point, we realise that they just didn’t want to serve students. We oblige by taking our money elsewhere.)

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