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Tequila Myself Slowly

| NY, USA | Food & Drink

Bartender: “What can I get you?”

Me: “A slow and painful death.”

Bartender: “…”

Me: “…”

Bartender: “…”

Me: “…”

Bartender: “Tequila shots coming right up!”

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No Barrier To Drinking

, | Arlington, VA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink

(In Virginia, open containers of alcohol are not allowed in public area. However, if a restaurant has sidewalk/outdoor patio space, they can get a permit to serve alcohol there, as long as their seating area on the sidewalk is designated with some sort of physical indicator.)

Me: *in chained-off patio area, talking to woman across the patio* “Hey, Trish! Did you—”

(I realize it’s too noisy for her to hear me, so I walk around the patio, outside of the chain, and then talk to Trish. I’m still holding my bottle of beer.)

Waitress: “[My Name]! You can’t have your beer outside of our patio!”

(I look down, and see I’m still on the outside of the chain. I then step over the chain, but put my feet in the exact same place, but now the chain is behind my calves.)

Waitress: “That’s better.”

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The Misery Menu

| Germany | Bad Behavior, Employees

(My mum and I just went for a fun run in a city we have never been to. Afterwards we decide to go out for a few drinks, and settle for a ‘beach bar’ on the river. The drinks and snack food menus are hung up all over the bar counter.)

Mum: “I’d like a [French pizza] and…”

Female Bartender: *cutting her off, sighing, and in a sharp voice* “No food.”

Mum: *hesitating* “But… it’s on the menu?”

Female Bartender: *sighing more heavily while rolling her eyes* “Well, yes. But we are out of [French pizza].”

Mum: “So… you still have everything else available?”

Female Bartender: “I guess…”

(My mum finishes her order and then turns to me so I can say what I’d like. Note that there is, weirdly enough, almost no audible music and everyone is keeping fairly quiet.)

Me: “I’d like a Gin ‘n’ Tonic and a Panini.”

Female Bartender: “Well, I didn’t understand a f****** word. Can you speak up or what?”

(Needless to say, we downed our drinks and left. If you are so miserable, why not work somewhere without contact to people?)

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