Three Times A Shouting Lady

| UT, USA | Awesome Workers, Employees

(I work for an inbound call center, taking orders for a wide variety of products advertised on TV and radio. Callers order the advertised item, and then I have several screens of up-sells and add-ons that I have to offer to them. I am required to offer every additional item unless the customer states he or she is not interested in any extras three times, which hardly ever happens, no matter how mad they sometimes become. This call is for a product with eight add-ons. After completing the order information for the main item…)

Caller: “Now, I know you have, like, a dozen other things to sell me. Thanks to problems with my phone and my credit card, this is the fourth time I’ve called and gone through this ordeal this morning. I’ve heard it all before. I’m tired, and I’m frustrated, and I’m really trying not to get angry at you because you’re just doing your job, but I need to get this thing for my daughter. Do we really have to go through all the other stuff?”

(I could hear the exhaustion in her voice and wanted to help her out, but if I didn’t offer the extras, I could face disciplinary action. Then I had an idea.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, I do have a few additional offers for products that complement [Item] very well, and I would like to tell you about them. I think there’s a problem with my headset, though, because I’m having a bit of trouble hearing you.”

Caller: “I said I’m not interested in any additional items.”

Me: “What was that?”


Me: “One more time, please?”

Caller: “I ONLY WANT [ITEM]! Nothing else!”

Me: “Thank you. Because you have stated you only want [Item] three times, I can now skip all the additional offers. Page forward one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, and eight. There. Standard shipping or express, ma’am?”

Caller: “You heard me just fine, didn’t you?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

Caller: “Well played, young man. Very well played. Express shipping, please.”

Me: “Express shipping it is. The total that will be charged to your credit card is [Price], and your package is expected to arrive within 3-5 business days. Thank you for ordering [Item]. I hope the rest of your day is better that it has been so far.”

Caller: “I think it will be.”


A Passable Reason For A Disconnect

| MI, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

(I work for a major telecommunication company in their retention department. It is my job to retain a customer’s service and, when not possible, to set up their disconnects. A lot of our calls come in from other departments such as billing. This is one of those calls.)

Representative: “Hi, I have [Not The Account Holder] on the phone. It looks like she needs to disconnect because the account holder has decided to pass away.”

Me: “Um… transfer her through.”


Insecurity Question

| Tampa, FL, USA | Employees, Money

(I am in the QA department, listening to calls to ensure our agents provide excellent service, when I listen to this winner of a call:)

Representative: “May I have you provide the three digits located on the signature panel of your card?”

Member: “Is that on the back?”

Representative: “…”

Member: “Is that on the back?”

Representative: “I’m sorry I can only read the security question to you.”

Member: “That is fine; I just want to know where it is located.”

Representative: “The signature panel of your card.”

Member: “Is that on the back?”

Representative: “…”

Member: “Ma’am?”

Representative: “I can’t disclose that.”


Her Complaint Is Nothing To Be Sneezed At

| ON, Canada | Coworkers, Health & Body

(I work in a call center and have a very loud sneeze. Sometimes they come out of nowhere so the entire office will hear it. This particular coworker is on the other side of the room.)

Me: *sneezes super loud*

Coworker: *by email* “Can you please try to cover your mouth? I’m trying to get pregnant and I’m having trouble with it. I’m trying my hardest not to get sick in case that’s the problem.”

(I send her a pleasant email back explaining I will try harder to catch my sneezes before they come out. A few days later, at the end of the day, I leave through the back door.)

Me: “Hi, [Coworker]!”

Coworker: *turns around with a cigarette in her hand* “Hi, [My Name], have a good night!”

Me: *thinking to myself* “Well, there’s your problem!”


Your Request Is Sickening

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(Performance review time: everything is excellent, get a big raise, and then…)

Manager: “We need to talk about your sick days…”

Me: “Okay…”

Manager: “You used all of them this year.”

Me: “Yes, I don’t believe in coming to work sick and infecting others.”

Manager: “You used most of them last year, too.”

Me: “Yes, I got the flu and stayed home.”

Manager: “We need you to try not to do that again.”

Me: “Get sick?”

Manager: “Yeah.”

Me: “Sure… I’ll try.”

(I left shaking my head and made a point to use every sick day for the next few years!)

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