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You’re Still Here? It’s Over!

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Awesome Workers, Coworkers, Movies & TV

(I work in a tech call center. I had another tech stand up and ask who has been working with a site. He starts in with the old classic:)

Coworker: “Anybody? Anybody? Bueller? Bueller?”

Me: “I think it’s his day off.”

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The Answer Has Different Shades Of Black

| Glendale, AZ, USA | Employees

(I am calling the customer service line to ask a question about a product they were advertising.)

Me: “I’m calling about [Product]. Your web site says that it comes in black/yellow but the picture of the item looks like it has a little black, some yellow, and is mostly gray. Is that right or is it a bad picture?”

Rep: “Well the product is listed as black and yellow.”

Me: “Yes, I know that’s what your web site says but the picture looks gray. Is the main color black or gray?”

Rep: “Let me grab one and check.”

(A minute later…)

Rep: “The main color is light black.”

Me: “Light black is called gray.”

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Pin The Tail On The Culprit

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful, Liars/Scammers

(We have several new coworkers, one of whom is working this shift. Coworker #1 is currently working and is known for being ‘too nice’ even when people are taking advantage of her. Coworker #2 is notoriously lazy, rude, and is very close to being fired. During a slow period, the following conversation happens.)

Coworker #1: “You know, this is one of the better jobs that I’ve had! I don’t think I have a problem with ANYONE here! Everyone works so hard!”

Me: “Really? Haven’t you worked with [Coworker #2]?”

Coworker #1: “Of course! He’s… well… not the nicest person in the world sometimes…”

Me: “Didn’t he take off last shift without filing any of his paperwork, and leaving you to do it?”

Coworker #1: “Well… yeaaahhh… but it’s not like it’s that much extra work!”

Me: “And didn’t he repeatedly call his cell phone last shift to look like he was on a call, but was just sitting there doing nothing?”

Coworker #1: “He did?!”

Me: “And he learned the trick of flicking the receiver to make it reset him to the back of the call queue so the calls roll and we ALL get docked on our call reviews?”

Coworker #1: “He’s not THAT bad!”

Me: *pointed look*

Coworker #1: “Okay, so he’s a bit of an Eeyore.”

Me: “Not so much an Eeyore as a jack-a**”

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One Window Closes, Another One Opens

| UT, USA | Liars/Scammers

(I work for a major call center.I get a rather amusing phone call.)

Caller: “Hello, to whom am I speaking?”

Me: “How can I help you?”

Caller: “I’m calling from Windows technical support. We’ve been alerted to some problems on your computer, which for a low fee we can fix. You’ll just need to give me access to your computer and I can walk you through what we need.”

Me: “Really? Oh, lord… Uh, what kind of problem?”

Caller: “Well, I can’t really talk about it over the phone. It’s, you know… sensitive.”

Me: “But couldn’t I fix the problem myself? I mean, I know a good bit about computers.”

Caller: “You could try, but we’re showing you’ve probably downloaded something you shouldn’t have. Like I said, just give me the information and I can access your computer.”

Me: “I don’t know. You sound like a scammer to me. I don’t know if I should trust you.”

Caller: “It’s not a scam. I’m calling from Windows technical support. What makes you think it’s a scam?”

Me: “Other than the fact that you called Windows Technical Support, and are speaking with a licensed Windows Tech, trying to tell him something is wrong with his computer that he knows isn’t possible?”

Caller: “You’re Windows Technical Support?”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: *sheepish* “Well, that was stupid. I should hang up now shouldn’t I?”

Me: “That’d be my best guess.”

Caller: “Uh, sorry. I won’t bother you again.” *hangs up*