One-Upper (Into Orbit)

| Australia | Coworkers

(I am working part time while waiting to hear if I have been accepted to medical school. I have just found out that I was successful but it requires me to move two thousand kilometres away. I have given my notice.)

Coworker: “So why did you quit?”

Me: *overly excited* “I am moving to [City] to become a doctor!”

(Beat.)

Coworker: “Well I’m moving to [Other City] to become an astronaut!”

Two Girls, Three-Hundred Cups

| White Bear Lake, MN, USA | Language & Words

(My mom works in a call center that takes orders for homecoming supplies for high schools – banners, cups, foam hands, etc. In between calls she will look at orders, because whenever there’s customization, there can be typos. Luckily, this one she manages to catch before printing:)

Mom: “I think this order needs to be reviewed again before being processed.”

Coworker: “What’s wrong with it?”

Mom: “I don’t think they want 300 cups that say ‘The Red Hot Loins.’”

It’s Not All In The Delivery

| Germany | Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

(A week ago I ordered a couch. The day of the delivery arrives and they deliver it in several small packages as expected. As always the delivery guys are in a hurry and I sign the papers without reading them, because they practically snatch them away from me as soon as I have them. After they are gone I unpack and only then I realize that one package is missing. Then I finally read the papers and find out that the delivery guys knew that all the time and didn’t tell me, which makes me pretty mad. Then I see that the missing package should be delivered later the same day, so I decide to wait. But, who would have guessed? They don’t show up. The next day I call the support people.)

Support: “Welcome to, [Furniture Store]. This is [Support]. How can I help you?”

Me: “Hi. Last week I ordered a couch and yesterday it was delivered, but one package is missing and the delivery guys didn’t tell me that. I only found out after I unpacked everything.”

Support: “Oh, but the delivery guys don’t always know if something is missing.”

Me: “I thought that, too, but then I found out that they even reported it on the delivery note. Now my whole apartment is full of packaging material and not assembled furniture.”

Support: “You shouldn’t have unpacked it, then. I see here that you have already got a new delivery appointment.”

Me: “If I had known that there is something missing I wouldn’t have. The appointment was yesterday and they didn’t show up.”

Support: “Oh, yes, I see it here. It was on too short notice; the delivery company couldn’t process.”

Me: “So, what now? I paid a lot of money to have it delivered that day.”

Support: “Yeah, I don’t know. Here is the processing number. They will call you, but I don’t know when. Maybe early next week.”

Me: “Can I get something of my money—”

Support: *interrupting* “If you don’t have any more questions, then?”

Me: “I have, what about the money for the delivery… Could I get—”

Support: *interrupting again* “You know, we have about 50 stores in this country. We don’t know everything about every delivery.”

Me: “Could I have the number of the delivery company, then?”

Support: *annoyed* “Yes, you can call them, but I don’t have the number.”

Me: “So what should I do now?”

Support: *annoyed* “Just wait until someone calls you. Thank you for your understanding.” *ends call*

Adapting To The Stupidity

| NY, USA | Technology

(My AC adaptor for my laptop died recently — miraculously in warranty. I order the replacement from the manufacturer. When it arrives, I discover that it’s the wrong part.)

Customer Service Representative: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you today?”

Me: “Hi, I just received a replacement adaptor I ordered from you, but I was sent the wrong size.”

Customer Service Representative: “I’m sorry to hear that; let me pull up your account.”

(She verifies all my information, and then…)

Customer Service Representative: “Have you received the replacement part yet?”

Me: *literal facepalm* “Yes… That’s how I know you sent me the wrong part.”

(The sad thing is, that was the EASIEST part of dealing with the company. This turned into an utter ordeal.)

Not Always Working Always Works

| AZ, USA | Non-Dialogue, Technology

As the phones at work are to be manned at all times, we’re allowed to surf the Internet when the lines aren’t busy.

I always enjoy going to the Not Always websites. One of the sites has just started to load when I’m sent on break.

I leave my desk without waiting for it to finish. By the time my break is over and I return, all my coworkers are busy taking calls. Only my desk is unoccupied, with NOT ALWAYS WORKING, splashed across the screen.