Trying To Give You Credit For It

| Manchester, England, UK | Employees, Money, Technology

(I have very little interest in mobile phones. The one I have is four years old, cost £2, and has no camera or access to the Internet. I use it mostly for telling the time and an alarm, though I do use it for texting and calls, just not very often.)

Call Centre: “Hello, Miss [My Name]. We’d like to offer you a deal on your phone, £10 a month and you get 500 free texts.”

Me: “I don’t use it that much; I spend a maximum of £5 on credit every three months.”

Call Centre: “But with this deal you can spend ONLY £10 a month—“

Me: “I spend £5 EVERY 3 MONTHS, your deal is twice that amount EVERY MONTH. Do you see why this is a deal that doesn’t interest me?”

Call Centre: “But think about all the free texts!”

Me: “I don’t need them; I’m not going to pay more money for something I don’t need.”

Call Centre: “I…”

Me: “Look, can you give me a deal that’s better than £5 every three months?”

Call Centre: “Um, no, I can’t do that.”

Me: “Then I think we’re done here.”

Call Centre: “But—“

Me: *click*


Credit Us With Some Common Sense, Part 2

| Tampa, FL, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid

(I work in the quality department of a call center for a large bank that has branches across the country. This is a one of the calls I listened to:)

Member: “I would like to do a cash advance from my credit card and deposit to my checking.”

Representative: “Okay, is your cash advance on your account?”

Member: “…”

Representative: “Is your cash advance with the bank?”

Member: “Transfer me to the branch; I can’t handle the call center right now.”


Credit Us With Some Common Sense


It’s All In The (Very Far) Delivery

| Belfast, UK | Bizarre/Silly, Geography

(I work at a call centre in Northern Ireland. It’s almost my lunch break. If a coworker is buying something, they usually ask if a colleague needs something. I’m speaking to a customer 400 miles away in England, across the Irish Sea.)

Me: “I’m running a test, but it’s going to take a while. Is it okay if I call you back after my lunch break?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s fine.”

Me: “I’m going to [Supermarket]. Do you need anything?”

Customer: *deadpan* “No, I’m all right.”

Me: “Thank you, speak later. Bye!”

Customer: “Bye!”


Filing Is Not Her Calling

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

(I need to conclude a contract with my credit card company. They call me.)

Caller: “Hi, this is [Name] from [Credit Card Company]. Do you have a few minutes so we can conclude your contract? It should take about five minutes.”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “Okay, let me just put you on hold so I can get your file.”

Me: “Okay…”

(15 minutes later…)

Caller: “Okay, I’ve got your file. Let’s go through the contract…”

(I still wonder why she didn’t pull my file BEFORE calling me!)


Working To A Different Code

| UK | Coworkers, Technology

(We do tech support for mobile phones. A few months ago we received several emails about a particular model requiring an unlock code before the customer could use it, along with the set of unlock codes for them.)

Customer: “Hello, I rang up yesterday as my phone wasn’t working. The previous agent gave me a reference and said if I came to store I could now exchange it?”

Me: “I will just need to check the notes and make sure we have covered everything first. Can I take the reference please?”

Customer: “It is [number].”

Me: “Thanks. I’ll just have a read through the previous notes.”

(The notes from the previous colleague just state “PHONE DOES NOT WORK. Purchased this week. Referred to store.” That is it. Nothing about the fault, just that it isn’t working. I see that it is the model known for needing unlock codes.)

Me: “Okay, would you mind please just confirming what exactly is happening with the phone when you switch it on? Is it asking for a code?”

Customer: “Yes, that is exactly what I said when I called up before.”

Me: “Here is your code; you shouldn’t have any further issues. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

Customer: “Couldn’t the other person have given me that?”

Me: “I honestly don’t know.”