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Credit Us With Some Common Sense, Part 2

| Tampa, FL, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid

(I work in the quality department of a call center for a large bank that has branches across the country. This is a one of the calls I listened to:)

Member: “I would like to do a cash advance from my credit card and deposit to my checking.”

Representative: “Okay, is your cash advance on your account?”

Member: “…”

Representative: “Is your cash advance with the bank?”

Member: “Transfer me to the branch; I can’t handle the call center right now.”

Related:

Credit Us With Some Common Sense

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It’s All In The (Very Far) Delivery

| Belfast, UK | Bizarre/Silly, Geography

(I work at a call centre in Northern Ireland. It’s almost my lunch break. If a coworker is buying something, they usually ask if a colleague needs something. I’m speaking to a customer 400 miles away in England, across the Irish Sea.)

Me: “I’m running a test, but it’s going to take a while. Is it okay if I call you back after my lunch break?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s fine.”

Me: “I’m going to [Supermarket]. Do you need anything?”

Customer: *deadpan* “No, I’m all right.”

Me: “Thank you, speak later. Bye!”

Customer: “Bye!”

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Filing Is Not Her Calling

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

(I need to conclude a contract with my credit card company. They call me.)

Caller: “Hi, this is [Name] from [Credit Card Company]. Do you have a few minutes so we can conclude your contract? It should take about five minutes.”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “Okay, let me just put you on hold so I can get your file.”

Me: “Okay…”

(15 minutes later…)

Caller: “Okay, I’ve got your file. Let’s go through the contract…”

(I still wonder why she didn’t pull my file BEFORE calling me!)

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Working To A Different Code

| UK | Coworkers, Technology

(We do tech support for mobile phones. A few months ago we received several emails about a particular model requiring an unlock code before the customer could use it, along with the set of unlock codes for them.)

Customer: “Hello, I rang up yesterday as my phone wasn’t working. The previous agent gave me a reference and said if I came to store I could now exchange it?”

Me: “I will just need to check the notes and make sure we have covered everything first. Can I take the reference please?”

Customer: “It is [number].”

Me: “Thanks. I’ll just have a read through the previous notes.”

(The notes from the previous colleague just state “PHONE DOES NOT WORK. Purchased this week. Referred to store.” That is it. Nothing about the fault, just that it isn’t working. I see that it is the model known for needing unlock codes.)

Me: “Okay, would you mind please just confirming what exactly is happening with the phone when you switch it on? Is it asking for a code?”

Customer: “Yes, that is exactly what I said when I called up before.”

Me: “Here is your code; you shouldn’t have any further issues. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

Customer: “Couldn’t the other person have given me that?”

Me: “I honestly don’t know.”

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The Silent War

| USA | Coworkers, Family & Kids

(My sister and I are across the aisle from each other, and my desk is located between hers and our supervisor’s at the end of the aisle. We had some serious down time one day. Note: We were not allowed to talk on the call floor.)

Sister: *bored, so catches my attention and mimes firing a bow and arrow at me*

Me: *ducks and mimes shooting one back*

Sister: *ducks and mimes firing a handgun*

Me: *ducks, mimes firing a shotgun*

Sister: *ducks, mimes firing a canon*

Me: *mimes firing a bazooka*

Sister: *frantic hand movement I cannot determine, maybe a machine gun?*

Me: *fire off another bazooka round*

Sister: *indeterminable hand gestures turns out to be her frantically trying to point behind me*

Me: *slowly turns around to see the supervisor staring at us from her desk, wearing the most priceless confused look EVER!*