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Calling Is Not Their Calling

| MI, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

(My phone rings. It’s not a number I recognize.)

Me: “Hello?”

Person: “Thank you for holding. Can I get your account number?”

Me: “What…?”

Person: “May I get your account number?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s going on. You called me.”

Person: “Ma’am, what is the purpose of your call?”

Me: “No, seriously, you called me. What business is this?”

Person: “Ma’am… you’re saying WE called YOU?”

Me: “Yes. I’m not trying to fool you or anything, but my phone rang, I answered, and you asked for my account number. I have no idea what’s going on right now.”

(There’s a confused silence.)

Person: “Okay, thank you for calling!” *click*

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Patience Impaired

| UK | Bad Behavior, Language & Words

(I have just left university and, upon my dad’s insistence, I have called up to register myself for job seeker’s allowance. The operator who answers has a very thick Scottish accent.)

Operator: “Thank you for calling. How can I help?”

Me: “Hi, I need to register for JSA.”

Operator: “Sure, I just need to take some details.”

Me: “Sure, but I have to warn you. I’m hearing impaired so I might need things repeated.”

Operator: “That’s fine. So can I take your name?”

Me: “[My Name].”

(She continues to take my basic details and everything is fine until:)

Operator: “And [unintelligible question]?”

Me: “Can you repeat that?”

(She does, but two minutes later:)

Operator: “Now, what is [unintelligible]?”

Me: “I’m sorry; could you repeat that?”

(She does, but it keeps happening until eventually:)

Me: “Sorry, can you say that again?”

Operator: “No.” *hangs up*

(I rang back to get a different operator, but had to go through everything again only to be told I couldn’t register for another few weeks anyway. But he said there was a note that I had been rude, particularly about her accent, which he was going to remove since I clearly stated I was hearing impaired and my surname is very obviously Scottish, even if I’ve lost most of my accent.)

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You’re Still Here? It’s Over!

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Awesome Workers, Coworkers, Movies & TV

(I work in a tech call center. I had another tech stand up and ask who has been working with a site. He starts in with the old classic:)

Coworker: “Anybody? Anybody? Bueller? Bueller?”

Me: “I think it’s his day off.”