The Silent War

| USA | Coworkers, Family & Kids

(My sister and I are across the aisle from each other, and my desk is located between hers and our supervisor’s at the end of the aisle. We had some serious down time one day. Note: We were not allowed to talk on the call floor.)

Sister: *bored, so catches my attention and mimes firing a bow and arrow at me*

Me: *ducks and mimes shooting one back*

Sister: *ducks and mimes firing a handgun*

Me: *ducks, mimes firing a shotgun*

Sister: *ducks, mimes firing a canon*

Me: *mimes firing a bazooka*

Sister: *frantic hand movement I cannot determine, maybe a machine gun?*

Me: *fire off another bazooka round*

Sister: *indeterminable hand gestures turns out to be her frantically trying to point behind me*

Me: *slowly turns around to see the supervisor staring at us from her desk, wearing the most priceless confused look EVER!*


Calling Is Not Their Calling

| MI, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

(My phone rings. It’s not a number I recognize.)

Me: “Hello?”

Person: “Thank you for holding. Can I get your account number?”

Me: “What…?”

Person: “May I get your account number?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s going on. You called me.”

Person: “Ma’am, what is the purpose of your call?”

Me: “No, seriously, you called me. What business is this?”

Person: “Ma’am… you’re saying WE called YOU?”

Me: “Yes. I’m not trying to fool you or anything, but my phone rang, I answered, and you asked for my account number. I have no idea what’s going on right now.”

(There’s a confused silence.)

Person: “Okay, thank you for calling!” *click*


Patience Impaired

| UK | Bad Behavior, Language & Words

(I have just left university and, upon my dad’s insistence, I have called up to register myself for job seeker’s allowance. The operator who answers has a very thick Scottish accent.)

Operator: “Thank you for calling. How can I help?”

Me: “Hi, I need to register for JSA.”

Operator: “Sure, I just need to take some details.”

Me: “Sure, but I have to warn you. I’m hearing impaired so I might need things repeated.”

Operator: “That’s fine. So can I take your name?”

Me: “[My Name].”

(She continues to take my basic details and everything is fine until:)

Operator: “And [unintelligible question]?”

Me: “Can you repeat that?”

(She does, but two minutes later:)

Operator: “Now, what is [unintelligible]?”

Me: “I’m sorry; could you repeat that?”

(She does, but it keeps happening until eventually:)

Me: “Sorry, can you say that again?”

Operator: “No.” *hangs up*

(I rang back to get a different operator, but had to go through everything again only to be told I couldn’t register for another few weeks anyway. But he said there was a note that I had been rude, particularly about her accent, which he was going to remove since I clearly stated I was hearing impaired and my surname is very obviously Scottish, even if I’ve lost most of my accent.)


You’re Still Here? It’s Over!

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Awesome Workers, Coworkers, Movies & TV

(I work in a tech call center. I had another tech stand up and ask who has been working with a site. He starts in with the old classic:)

Coworker: “Anybody? Anybody? Bueller? Bueller?”

Me: “I think it’s his day off.”


The Answer Has Different Shades Of Black

| Glendale, AZ, USA | Employees

(I am calling the customer service line to ask a question about a product they were advertising.)

Me: “I’m calling about [Product]. Your web site says that it comes in black/yellow but the picture of the item looks like it has a little black, some yellow, and is mostly gray. Is that right or is it a bad picture?”

Rep: “Well the product is listed as black and yellow.”

Me: “Yes, I know that’s what your web site says but the picture looks gray. Is the main color black or gray?”

Rep: “Let me grab one and check.”

(A minute later…)

Rep: “The main color is light black.”

Me: “Light black is called gray.”