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Filing Is Not Her Calling

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

(I need to conclude a contract with my credit card company. They call me.)

Caller: “Hi, this is [Name] from [Credit Card Company]. Do you have a few minutes so we can conclude your contract? It should take about five minutes.”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “Okay, let me just put you on hold so I can get your file.”

Me: “Okay…”

(15 minutes later…)

Caller: “Okay, I’ve got your file. Let’s go through the contract…”

(I still wonder why she didn’t pull my file BEFORE calling me!)

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Working To A Different Code

| UK | Coworkers, Technology

(We do tech support for mobile phones. A few months ago we received several emails about a particular model requiring an unlock code before the customer could use it, along with the set of unlock codes for them.)

Customer: “Hello, I rang up yesterday as my phone wasn’t working. The previous agent gave me a reference and said if I came to store I could now exchange it?”

Me: “I will just need to check the notes and make sure we have covered everything first. Can I take the reference please?”

Customer: “It is [number].”

Me: “Thanks. I’ll just have a read through the previous notes.”

(The notes from the previous colleague just state “PHONE DOES NOT WORK. Purchased this week. Referred to store.” That is it. Nothing about the fault, just that it isn’t working. I see that it is the model known for needing unlock codes.)

Me: “Okay, would you mind please just confirming what exactly is happening with the phone when you switch it on? Is it asking for a code?”

Customer: “Yes, that is exactly what I said when I called up before.”

Me: “Here is your code; you shouldn’t have any further issues. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

Customer: “Couldn’t the other person have given me that?”

Me: “I honestly don’t know.”

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The Silent War

| USA | Coworkers, Family & Kids

(My sister and I are across the aisle from each other, and my desk is located between hers and our supervisor’s at the end of the aisle. We had some serious down time one day. Note: We were not allowed to talk on the call floor.)

Sister: *bored, so catches my attention and mimes firing a bow and arrow at me*

Me: *ducks and mimes shooting one back*

Sister: *ducks and mimes firing a handgun*

Me: *ducks, mimes firing a shotgun*

Sister: *ducks, mimes firing a canon*

Me: *mimes firing a bazooka*

Sister: *frantic hand movement I cannot determine, maybe a machine gun?*

Me: *fire off another bazooka round*

Sister: *indeterminable hand gestures turns out to be her frantically trying to point behind me*

Me: *slowly turns around to see the supervisor staring at us from her desk, wearing the most priceless confused look EVER!*

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Calling Is Not Their Calling

| MI, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

(My phone rings. It’s not a number I recognize.)

Me: “Hello?”

Person: “Thank you for holding. Can I get your account number?”

Me: “What…?”

Person: “May I get your account number?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s going on. You called me.”

Person: “Ma’am, what is the purpose of your call?”

Me: “No, seriously, you called me. What business is this?”

Person: “Ma’am… you’re saying WE called YOU?”

Me: “Yes. I’m not trying to fool you or anything, but my phone rang, I answered, and you asked for my account number. I have no idea what’s going on right now.”

(There’s a confused silence.)

Person: “Okay, thank you for calling!” *click*

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Patience Impaired

| UK | Bad Behavior, Language & Words

(I have just left university and, upon my dad’s insistence, I have called up to register myself for job seeker’s allowance. The operator who answers has a very thick Scottish accent.)

Operator: “Thank you for calling. How can I help?”

Me: “Hi, I need to register for JSA.”

Operator: “Sure, I just need to take some details.”

Me: “Sure, but I have to warn you. I’m hearing impaired so I might need things repeated.”

Operator: “That’s fine. So can I take your name?”

Me: “[My Name].”

(She continues to take my basic details and everything is fine until:)

Operator: “And [unintelligible question]?”

Me: “Can you repeat that?”

(She does, but two minutes later:)

Operator: “Now, what is [unintelligible]?”

Me: “I’m sorry; could you repeat that?”

(She does, but it keeps happening until eventually:)

Me: “Sorry, can you say that again?”

Operator: “No.” *hangs up*

(I rang back to get a different operator, but had to go through everything again only to be told I couldn’t register for another few weeks anyway. But he said there was a note that I had been rude, particularly about her accent, which he was going to remove since I clearly stated I was hearing impaired and my surname is very obviously Scottish, even if I’ve lost most of my accent.)