Not Exceptionally Bright

| SK, Canada | Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive, Technology

(The battery for my laptop is about a month out of warranty, but it is getting REALLY hot. I call Laptop Manufacturer, say the magic word, ‘burning,’ and am promised that an exception will be allowed. All I have to do was give an exception number to any Laptop Manufacturer retailer to get a new one.)

Me: “Hi, I need a replacement battery for my [Laptop].”

Worker: *in a bored voice* “I need to see the computer to run diagnostics to make sure it’s actually an issue with the battery.”

Me: “Actually, I have an exception.”

Worker: *basically repeats what he just said*

(This goes back and forth for a while, with him insisting he needs to see the computer and not believing I have an exception.)

Me: “Look. You don’t need to see my computer. You do need to look up this number, which will prove what I’ve told you multiple times now.”

Worker: “Ugh, fine!” *enters number* “Oh.” *completely different, meek voice* “You… have an exception.”

Me: *head-desk*

Making A Lot Of Noise About You Leaving

| Olympia, WA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Pranks

(I recently left a small computer shop I was working at to work for myself. On the last day of work, I gave my manager a gift, a small electronic noise maker that can be set to various volumes, timers, and sounds. About a month after my departure, my coworker sends me a message.)

Coworker: “You b****! [Manager] just came clean with that stupid noise maker!”

Me: “Whoops. I’m surprised it took this long. I thought you would have put it together that on my last day there you were hearing noises.”

Coworker: “I might have, except it kept going, and he moved it around and had it set to go off randomly, even when he wasn’t here!”

Me: “I am very sorry, and I will never do it again.”

Coworker: “He had so much fun with that.”

Me: “Are you at work today?”

Coworker: “Yeah.”

Me: “Can you give [Manager] a high-five for me?”

Coworker: “…”


| England, UK | Employees, Liars/Scammers, Technology

(I managed to order the wrong length of HDMI cable online. With delivery dates long, and no TV, I visit the local large chain computer store.)

Me: “Excuse me, where are the HDMI cables?”

Worker #1: “Oh, I think they are over there somewhere.” *gestures vaguely*

Me: “Oh, okay, thanks.”

(I eventually find the display, completely in the wrong direction, and pick out some items.)

Worker #1: “Oh, good you found them.” *looking at the items I’ve picked* “Oh, you don’t want those ones.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Worker #1: “That cable is far too long. The picture will be very poor quality. Here, this is the one you want.”

(He picks up the most expensive cable a meter shorter than I needed.)

Me: “Oh, err, no thanks. I need one at least four meters long. These will do fine.”

Worker #1: “No, no, no, just move the TV closer. You really need a better quality cable.”

(Worker #1 pushes the cable into my hands and tries to snatch the cheaper ones from me.)

Me: *recoiling in surprise* “I can’t move the TV closer, and I assure you these will be fine.”

Worker #1: “Look, I know what I’m talking about. You need these ones. Long cables will lose the picture.” *a lie*

Me: *exhausted* “So these cheaper ones won’t work?”

Worker #1: “No. You need the better ones.”

Me: “So why do you sell them?”

Worker #1: “I er, well these are just far better. Listen I know what I’m talking about. Hey, [Worker #2], come here a second. Can you PLEASE explain why he wants these ones and not the cheap ones.”

Worker #2: “Well, these cables will give you a much better picture. The cheaper ones won’t give you 1080p.” *another lie*

Me: “I’ve had enough. These will be fine. This is the end of the discussion. I’m paying and leaving.”

(I eventually get past the two workers. They still call out to me as I get to the till.)

Cashier: “Oh, are you sure you want these? We have an offer on [Expensive Brand] cables this week.”

Me: “No, thanks.”

Cashier: “Are you sure? These ones will break much faster than the better ones.” *lies again*

Me: “Ring me up.”

Cashier: “I was just trying to—”

Me: “Ring me up now; if I hear one more lie from you or your colleagues I will register a complaint.”

Cashier: “Fine.” *throws the cable at me*

(Safe to say, I never shopped there again.)

A Memorable Transaction

| England, UK | Bad Behavior, Employees, Liars/Scammers, Technology, Top

(We’re looking for a new digital camera. I find one I like and go to reserve it.)

Salesperson: There is a deal today: when you buy this camera you can buy this 8 gigabyte memory card for only £14.99.

Me: “No, thanks.”

Salesperson: *a bit rudely* “You have to buy a memory card, or it won’t work.”

Me: “Really, that’s okay, thank you. I know what I’m doing.”

Salesperson: “How about you buy it and if you don’t like it you can return it?”

Girlfriend: “Maybe we should buy it then, if we need it anyway?”

Me: “Trust me; we don’t want that one.”

Salesperson: “Suit yourself, then!”

(The camera turns up just a few days later. When I go to collect it I see the same salesperson standing there. She motions her colleague, as if to ‘show off’ what she is going to do next.)

Salesperson: “I remember you.” *hands me the camera* “It’s still not going to work if you don’t put a memory card in it.” *I can hear her coworker laughing at this point*

Me: “Yeah. You see…” *I open the box* “I do know a little about cameras. and this…” *I pull a SDHC card out of my pocket* “…is not only double the size, not only two models faster, but it was also £5 cheaper than the one you tried to bully us into buying.”

(The salesperson stood there for a few moments, with an open mouth, then rushed our transaction through in complete silence. When I got it home the memory card worked brilliantly, and it turned out the camera had an internal memory that wasn’t listed, meaning that she was completely lying about it needing a card in the first place.)

Laptop Flop, Part 5

| Yorkshire, England, UK | Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I order an apparently great half-price laptop from a nationwide PC company, after [Assistant #1] assures me they have lots in stock. She says she’ll ring me in two weeks when it arrives).

Me: “Hi. It’s [Name]. I ordered a [model] laptop a couple of weeks ago, but I haven’t gotten a call yet. Could you tell me if it’s arrived, please?”

Assistant #1: “Ah, no. It’s not in yet. According to the system, it’ll be four more days.”

(One week later, I ring again.)

Assistant #2: “There’s been some delays with the deliveries, so unfortunately it won’t be here for another month.”

(One month later, I’m feeling pretty fed up and I’m contemplating cancelling. I get a call from the shop.)

Assistant #1: “Hi. I’m ringing about your [model] laptop. It seems that we don’t actually have any available in stock anymore in any of our shops. We can give a full refund, though, and I’ll personally give you a 20% discount if you buy another laptop with us before the Windows 8 launch next week.”

(I go into the store, and look at a few laptops on display.)

Me: “Do you have this model available in store right now?”

Assistant #2: “No, but I can order it for you! It would only be a couple of weeks until delivery.”

Me: “No.” *I explain what happened last time* “I only want a laptop that’s already here.”

Assistant #2: “Hmm, well we only have this other one here that’s within your price range.”

Me: “I’ll take it.” *we go to the till* “Is [Assistant #1] here? She said she’d give me a discount for all the hassle last time.”

Assistant #2: “She’s on holiday for two weeks.”

Me: “Well, did she make a note of it on my cancelled order?”

Assistant #2: “Ah… no.”

Me: “Can I speak to your manager, please?”

Assistant #2: “Uh… [Assistant #1] is the manager.”

Me: *giving up* “Fine. I’ll just take the laptop and go.”

Assistant #2: “Would you also like one of our store credit cards?”

Me: “Are you kidding? No.”

(It came as no surprise to hear two weeks later that the company had hit financial trouble. One good thing came out of it though: the laptop I ended up with has proved to be a good one!)

Laptop Flop, Part 4
Laptop Flop, Part 3
Laptop Flop, Part 2
Laptop Flop

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