Can’t Milk Anymore Out Of The Milk

| Sweden | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid

(I drop by the local convenience store on my way home to pick up a carton of milk. It’s Sunday evening.)

Convenience Store Guy: “Sorry. I can’t sell you just that.”

Me: “Why not?”

Convenience Store Guy: “Sorry. Boss says I have to sell more. Candy rack’s over there.”

Me: “But I only want the milk.”

Convenience Store Guy: “Sorry, I can’t sell you just that.”

Me: “Fine. No sale.”

(I put the milk back in the fridge and leave. On the way out, I hear:)

Convenience Store Guy: “Sorry! Boss says I have to sell more!”

Put Them In High Spirits

, | St. Louis, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Popular, Trending

(I am an overnight clerk at a convenience store. A woman comes in late, buying alcohol, and I can’t tell her age.)

Me: “Can I see your ID, please?”

(The woman gets flustered, shows her ID, and leaves with her alcohol, still visibly flustered. About an hour later a man pulls up to the market looking angry. He comes in and stands over me.)

Menacing Guy: “You the guy that asked my woman for ID?”

Me: *gulp* “Uh, yeah. You see the… law says… and I’m new…”

(The menacing guy breaks out in a huge smile and sticks out his hand.)

Menacing Guy: “Thanks, man. You made my wife’s night!”

(The guy left happy, and after that I made sure to ask every woman for ID.)

No Reprieve On New Year’s Eve

| USA | Popular, Trending

(We have two fairly recent hires who both started as stockers, but were shifted to cashier because of their unreliability and laziness. Both are 18, still in high school, and not easy to work with. They have generally negative attitudes. For instance, Coworker #1 throws change at people when he’s mad. Coworker #2 makes fun of people constantly, but gets totally offended at jokes or sarcasm directed at him. I am on register with both of them on New Year’s Eve, along with a decent-working Coworker #3. It’s so busy the managers want four people on register at all times, so a fifth person is putting their cash drawer in as each cashier goes on break. Coworker #1 takes his break first, and this exchange happens during the last cashier’s break.)

Break Person: “Hey, where’s [Coworker #1]!?”

(It’d been so busy nobody had noticed him put up his ‘closed’ sign, turn off his light, and sneak away. Now there’s only three of us, with me and the break person doing most of the work. Coworker #2’s register isn’t always open, and you often have to yell for customers to come over. Coworker #2 is just sitting behind his register and texting, only ringing up the people who realize he’s open.)

Me: “I don’t know where [Coworker #1] is; I didn’t see him leave.”

(We only get a 15-minute break for a six-hour shift. Coworker #1 had taken his already. The break person calls the manager to figure out where he is, but the manager is running around trying to keep things stocked because it is so busy with people buying last-minute stuff for their New Year’s Eve parties. A solid 20 minutes goes by before Coworker #1 comes back, acting like nothing happened. The break person leaves, fuming. Coworker #1 proceeds to spend the rest of the night with his light off, reading a magazine. He only offers to ring up attractive females, and only begrudgingly rings anyone else who realizes he is open despite the light being off. Other than that, he flips through magazines and plays with his phone.)

Coworker #2: *muttering under his breath about something*

Me: *in a light, joking manner* “What are you complaining about?”

Coworker #2: “WOAH. ATTITUDE.”

Me: *sighs*

(Not 15 minutes later, Coworker #2, despite making no effort to ring up customers, complained to the manager about ‘having no one to ring up’ and demanded to go home, holiday pay or not. The manager said fine and he gleefully left. After that, Coworker #1 put up his closed sign and disappeared twice more before the night was over, all while Coworker #3 and I scrambled to get through the New Year’s Eve crowd. On the plus side, after completing a transaction, a friendly customer threw a $5 bill on my counter and yelled HAPPY NEW YEAR before bolting out the store. I don’t know who you are, but you made a stressful night that much better. Thank you.)

Their Nerdiness Has Hit The Wall

| USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

(My boss and I are huge Game of Thrones Fans. A former manager decided what characters we all were and we harass each other as such on a daily basis.)

Manager: *glares at me as I’m walking by* “…Tarth.”

Me: *glares back and keeps walking* “…Baratheon.”

(Later on he finds his way back into my department.)

Manager: “Death to Brienne of Tarth!”

Me: “At least I get things done. That’s more than they can say for House Baratheon.”

Manager: “LISTEN. Stannis Baratheon gets things done, too!”

Me: “Okay, name ONE thing that was all Stannis and not him hiding behind Melisandre. I’ll wait.”

Manager: “…Okay, you have a point.”

(A woman working the customer service desk walks up, who also happens to be a fan of the show.)

Me and the Manager: “HOUSE TULLY!”

(Another coworker who doesn’t watch Game of Thrones hears the exchange)

Coworker: “You guys are nerds…”

Her Brain Is A Void

| USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Extra Stupid

(I work at a convenience store that accepts electronic checks. Before going electronic, the registers would endorse the check and they would go in our cash drawers. Now, the checks get processed electronically. The register scans and accepts the check as payment, then we flip it over to the written side and the word ‘void’ is printed on it before being handed back to the customer. The money comes out of the customer’s account, and they get the now-voided check back to prevent reuse or fraud. I ask my manager about some rumors I’d heard about a coworker having a problem with the electronic checks.)

Me: “Hey, [Manager], what happened with [Coworker] and somebody’s check?”

Manager: “Oh, my god. This lady’s check wouldn’t process electronically. So she just wrote ‘void’ on it and gave it back to her.”

Me: “She VOIDED it!?”

(Instead of putting the check in her drawer like we used to, she voided it and sent the customer on their way with more than $70 worth of stuff. For free. My coworker had to pay that back herself. We still shake our heads at that stroke of genius!)