Christmas Music Can Be Drilling

| VA, USA | Health & Body, Holidays, Musical Mayhem

(I am getting my wisdom teeth removed right before Christmas, as I’m on break for college. The practice has three dentists, all with Jewish names.)

Nurse: “Okay, we’ll give the shots a little while to work and then once you’re numb we can begin.”

(A few minutes pass, and we wait quietly while the radio plays carols in the office.)

Me: *drooling* “Okay, I’m definitely numb now.”

Dentist: “Great!”

(He reclines my chair, adjusts his glasses, and picks up a drill. I open my mouth.)

Dentist: “You know, I swear, if I hear any more of this d*** Christmas music, I’m going to kill someone!”

(He turns on the drill.)

How Very Childish

| Saskatoon, SK, Canada | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

(I make an appointment for myself and my wife I at a dentist we’ve never been to before. When we arrive…)

Receptionist: “Oh! You’re not children!”

Me: “No… When I called, I made appointments for myself and my wife, so I didn’t think I needed to specify that we’re not children.”

Receptionist: “Oh, well, adults need longer appointments! Luckily we can fit you in.”

Me: “Good.”

(It just went downhill from there. The dentist himself was great, but his staff were awful, rude, and disorganized. We never went back!)

Numb To Your Pain

| Gainesville, FL, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I go to my usual dentist to get a tooth removed, as I was born without an adult tooth beneath it and it has started to decay. My father drives me as I am a little worried about the procedure; the tooth is fairly painful at this point. A hygienist I am not familiar with comes in to get me ready.)

Hygienist #1: “Hey, okay, we’re just going to load you up with the painkillers now. Open up!”

Me: “I need to warn you, I might swear like a sailor. That needle looks a LOT bigger from this angle.”

Hygienist #1: “Don’t worry, I don’t mind. All right, here we go!”

(He forcefully turns my head to the side to get a better look at his target and jabs the needle in fairly hard. I let out a rather pathetic yelp.)

Hygienist #1: “Aw, come on now! All done! See you in five minutes!”

(After a few minutes I start to realize something is wrong. My heart is racing and my entire body has mild tremors that will not stop, and I’m beginning to feel chilled. I sit up and start trying to put on my jacket but I’m shaking too much.)

Hygienist #1: “Hey, lie back down!”

Me: “So-so-something’s w-wr-wr-wrong.”

Hygienist #1: “Oh, pooh, you’re fine! Let’s see how that numbing solution is going!” *pushes me back down and physically wrenches open my mouth and starts poking gums with a sharp instrument* “Can you feel that at all?”

Me: “Y-Yes! And i-it hurts!”

Hygienist #1: “Fine, let’s give you some more you big baby. How old are you anyway?”

Me: “18.”

Hygienist #: “You’re much too old to be such a wimp at this, really. Open!” *repeats the same rough treatment as before, this time giving me an THREE doses* “I’ll be back in five minutes. After that, I’m getting the dentist to rip that tooth out, numb or not! You’re our wasting time, missy.”

(The trembling increases this time until I am unable to sit up properly or stand without collapsing. I’m terrified that I am having an allergic reaction as the entire side of my head has gone numb with a pulsing pain in my jaw, and there are now patches of skin along my arm and leg that have started to go numb as well. Thankfully Hygienist #2, who usually cleans my teeth, is walking by and spots me trying to stagger away from the chair.)

Hygienist #2: “Oh, my god, [My Name]! Are you okay?! I thought you were just coming in to get your tooth pulled!”

Me: “I a-a-am. I th-th-thin-nk I’m reah-reacting to the num-num-”

Hygienist #2: “Oh, boy! Okay, honey, I’m going to check your pulse here for a second. Who was administering it? How much did they give you?” *she sits me down on the floor and sits next to me, comforting me as I’m generally freaking out at this point*

Me: “Th-That ne-new gu-guy, he-he gave m-me one th-then th-th-three mo-more.”

Hygienist #2: *suddenly has an expression that is a cross between ‘oh s***’ and ‘I’ll kill him’* “All right, sweetie, I’m going to go get your dad for you and then we’re going to get you to a hospital, all right? Your heart is beating way too fast. Don’t worry, it’s going to be okay.”

(We came back the next day after I had recovered so I could talk to the head dentist. When I explained what had happened, including the rough treatment, the dentist fired Hygienist #1 on the spot. Apparently he had been rough before, but in this occasion he had injected the painkiller directly into one of my veins instead of the surrounding area, and since it is epinephrine/adrenaline based it caused my tremors and my lovely 220 bpm resting heart rate. Giving me a triple dose after I exhibited the signs of my system being overloaded with adrenaline was a BIG no-no, and Hygienist #2 got employee of the year for helping me cope!)

You’ve Left The Trail

| Winnipeg, MT, Canada | Employees, Health & Body, Language & Words

(I am at the dentist’s office because I need a filling. I have never been treated by this particular dentist before. I soon noticed that she had a very disconcerting habit of trailing off instead of finishing her sentences.)

Dentist: “Good morning, Miss…” *trails off*

Me: “Good morning.”

Dentist: “Have a seat and I’ll…” *trails off*

Me: *sits down*

Dentist: *brings out needle and prepares to jab my gum* “Oh, before I start, are you allergic to…?” *trails off, jabs my gum anyway*

(Luckily, I WASN’T allergic to whatever she injected into me! It should be noted that I’m terrified of dentist visits to the point of phobia, and that didn’t help!)

Remember, Remember, The Fifth Of October

| AZ, USA | Employees, Time

(I’m taking a nap at home when I get a call from my dentist’s office. They have been sending me texts and e-mails for months reminding me to get a cleaning done. I kept forgetting.)

Receptionist: *after the usual formalities* “We’d like to get you scheduled for your cleaning, if you have a moment.”

Me: “Sure, sorry. I kept forgetting.”

Receptionist: “It happens. I don’t have any openings until mid-November, unfortunately. I have several in December.”

Me: “Oh… that far out, huh? I guess I better schedule now then.”

Receptionist: “What days work best for you?”

Me: “Any, I’m really flexible.”

Receptionist: “Mondays are okay?”

Me: “Yes, that’s fine.”

Receptionist: “Ok, I have one on the 5th at 11 am.”

Me: *quickly does the math… November 5th falls on a Thursday* “Um, sure?”

Receptionist: “Great! See you October 5th at 11 am.”

Me: *hangs up and turns to husband* “I think we need a new dentist office.”

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