Would You Like To Wombat Your Dropbear

, | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Language & Words

(I’m a manager in a fast-food restaurant. One night it’s kind of slow and I am having a discussion with another of our managers about how when you’re working the drive-thru you can pretty much say anything as the customers don’t really listen to what you say. He’s been challenging me to slip random words in all night. By this point it’s gotten totally out of hand into the realm of the ridiculous. Note the last several words I am “challenged” to are “koala bear” and “kangaroo,” kind of setting a mental theme. To help prove the point I say everything in my normal “drive-thru voice” and try not to laugh on speaker. The drive-thru dings.)

Me: “Funnel Web Spider!”

Customer: “Hi, I’m fine.”

Me: “That’s koala bear. What can we Australia today?”

Customer: “I’ll take a number three, please.”

Me: “Boomerang! And to eucalyptus?”

Customer: “A Pepsi, please.”

Me: “Wonderful. Anything else we can kangaroo?”

Customer: “No, that’s all.”

Me: “Great! If your sailboat is correct, your wallaby is [Total]. We’ll Sidney at the first dingo.”

(By this point all my coworkers were listening in on headsets, and were in hysterics.)

Other Manager: “He didn’t even miss a beat. I bow to the master.”


Worried He’s Screaming For Vengeance

, | Austin, TX, USA | Bosses & Owners, Musical Mayhem

(I’m in the back area, prepping food to get ready for the lunch period. We wash our dishes in the same area. While prepping I am listening to some music from my phone, because I got a bit tired to of the country songs on the store speakers. So far, none of our managers have had a problem with that. Our general manager walks in on me with a load of dishes. A song by Judas Priest is playing.)

General Manager: “If Judas Priest is all you got on there…”

Me: *mentally prepping for the worst*

General Manager: “…then I will gladly wash dishes all day back here!”

Me: *speechless and getting a big smile out of astonishment*

(Needless to say that’s the last thing I expected to hear!)


Their Brain Clocked Out

| NC, USA | Overtime

(I would work full-time at a fast food restaurant near my hometown to help pay my school fees. I am part of the opening shift on a busy holiday weekend. I have been opening for four days straight and because of that, my manager arranges for me to get off before 10:00 am instead of 11:00 am. The last two hours of my shift I’m on the drive-thru register. The oncoming manager for lunch is checking the stock when the AM manager comes into the booth.)

Manager #1: “[My Name], I have to go make this deposit really quickly. As soon I get back I’ll cash out your drawer so you can go home.”

Me: *looks at clock; it’s about 9:30 am* “Sure, that’s fine.”

(Manager #1 drives off to the bank just as we get slammed with the last minute breakfast/early lunch crowd. The cars are so constant that any minute of rest in between I’m brewing the sweet tea. By the time I notice Manager #1 hasn’t come back yet it’s 12:00 pm and I still haven’t had my drawer pulled. Even the front is being slammed and Manager #2 is at the grill trying to help. Finally at around 2:00 pm everything slows down and I approach the manager.)

Me: “[Manager #2], I know we’re busy, but can I please get a break or a drink from the front?”

Manager #2: “[My Name]? I thought you opened this morning?”

Me: “I did. [Manager #1] was supposed to let me go at 10 am when he came back from the bank. I was originally scheduled to get off at 11 am.”

(Manager #2 gets a really shocked look on her face and grabs one of the girls just coming on shift.)

Manager #2: *to coworker* “Go count a drawer. I’m putting you in the window.” *to me* “I’m sorry, [My Name]. [Manager #1] didn’t tell me you were still back there!”

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