A Conversation Stopper

, | Hertfordshire, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Popular, Rude & Risque, Trending

(I work with a lot of young students aged 16-18. One shift I receive a few complaints from customers with young children, complaining that they and their children can hear my colleagues’ inappropriate conversations about their weekend partying — including stories about sex and drugs. I call a meeting with my colleagues to talk to them about this.)

Me: “Now, you know I don’t have a problem with you guys talking a bit on shift so long as you keep working. But you shouldn’t have personal conversations within earshot of customers.”

Colleague #1: “Why not? If we’re allowed to talk then we’re gonna talk!”

Me: “Like I said, I have no problem with you talking while you work. I know you’re friends outside of work. It’s WHAT you’re talking about that’s the issue.”

Colleague #2: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, we’ve had some complaints about your conversations. Parents have complained that they can hear you talking about sex and drugs and how ‘wasted’ and ‘f***ed up’ you were. That’s not an appropriate conversation to have at work — especially in a family restaurant!”

Colleague #1: “Well, it’s their fault!”

Me: “What?”

Colleague #1: “Why are they listening to our private conversations?! They should mind their own business!”

Colleague #2: “Yeah! It’s rude! It’s illegal, innit?”

Me: “You are loudly talking, and swearing, about having sex and doing drugs, whilst serving our customers and their small children. That’s completely unacceptable!”

Colleague #1: “Well, they shouldn’t be listening to our conversations!”

Me: “…Wow.”

Should Have Covered That In A Cheesy Training Video

| WI, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular, Trending

(This was at a popular fast food restaurant as my friend was trying to order.)

Friend: “Hello, I’d like a double hamburger.”

Cashier: “Right, a double cheeseburger then.”

Friend: “No, I want a double hamburger.”

Cashier: “What is that?”

Friend: “A double cheeseburger with no cheese.”

Cashier: “So a hamburger is a cheeseburger with no cheese?”

Friend: “Yes.”

Cashier: *looks bewildered at this shocking discovery*

An Alarming First Day

| USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, New Hires

(I am at employee orientation, which basically means sitting in a break room for two hours filling out forms while supervised by a manager. It is very quiet when an employee comes rushing in.)

Employee: “[Manager]! [Manager]! How do you turn off the alarm for the play area?”

Manager: *face-palming* “Not again.”

Well Ahead Of Customer Service

| PA, USA | Popular, Trending

(I’m exhausted after a long, busy shift and am taking a very late break when the dinner rush is finally over.)

Me: “Hey, can you guys do me a favor and make me a [chicken sandwich]? And then wake me when it’s done, because I’m probably going to end up falling asleep.”

Coworker: “Yeah, sure! Just sit in that booth right there!”

(The booth is very close to the counter. I think nothing of it until about seven minutes later when I’m dozing off and I feel something hit me in the head. I look up and realize it’s my sandwich.)

Me: “Did you just chuck a chicken sandwich at my head?”

Coworker: “Yup. I didn’t feel like leaving the counter and I figured I’d wake you and deliver your food at the same time!”

(From then on, we tended to deliver each other’s food by chucking it at the other’s head.)

Medium Dum Dum

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

(I order a small combo for myself at a fast food restaurant. My girlfriend only wants fries and a drink, so I ask for a medium of both. When the cashier puts the empty cups out, I realize that a “medium” is 32 ounces.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how big a medium soda would be. Can I get a small instead?”

Cashier: *taps the small cup* “That one goes with the combo.”

Me: “I know. But can I have this one -” *taps the medium cup* “- as a small?”

Cashier: “That’s a medium.”

Me: “Right … I ordered a medium but would like a small instead.”

Cashier: “The small goes with the combo.”

Me: “Yes. I want to keep the small soda, to go with the combo. But instead of the medium drink, I would like a second small drink.”

Cashier: *slowly puts a second small cup on the counter and adds it to the order without removing the medium*

Me: “…Close enough.”

(I pay for the meal and then hand the medium cup to the man waiting in line behind me.)

Me: “Would you like a free drink?”

Customer: “Sure!”

Cashier: “That’s the medium!”