Where Can One Find The Fudgemaster?

, | USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre/Silly, Employees

(I’m at a fast food place with my cousins and younger brother. We all order fudge sundaes. My brother is jealous because his sundae has much less fudge than everybody else’s, so he goes to the guy who served us.)

Brother: “Can I have more fudge, please!”

Employee: *angrily* “I’m not the master of fudge!”

That’s A High Tea-Total

| Chicago, IL, USA | Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful

(I am in the drive-thru of the most famous fast food restaurant in the world, right around the time they’re introducing their new “cafe” to compete with coffee houses. It’s morning, but I’ve obviously missed the busy rush, as I’m the only car in the drive-thru.)

Me: “Hi, I’d like a medium hot tea with cream and two sugars and a [Breakfast Sandwich], please.”

Cashier: “Okay, your total is [total]. Please pull forward!”

(At the window:)

Me: “[Total] seems a little high… Isn’t the sandwich only [low price]?”

Cashier: “That’s right.”

Me: “How much is the tea, then?”

Cashier: “It’s [high price] but it’s part of our new [Brand] cafe line!”

(I’m late for work so I decide not to argue and just pay her. She hands me my cup and a bag and I leave. I take a sip of my drink, and am astonished to find that it just tastes like hot water. I open the lid and guess what? It IS just hot water. I opened the bag and inside there was a tea bag, two sugar packets, a creamer packet, and a stick to stir it with. So much for [Brand] cafe… I’ll never go back.)

Two Girls, One Cup, Zero Clue

| OK, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive

(We have a tradition of stopping by a fast food place for soft-serve ice cream after each fireworks show downtown. There is a fireworks show after every Friday night home game for our AAA baseball team so this happens over half a dozen times each year.)

Speaker: “Thanks for coming to [Fast Food Place]. Order when you are ready.”

Me: “Thanks. We’ll have three ice cream cones and one cup of ice cream.”

Speaker: “Three cones and one cup?”

Me: “Yes, thanks.”

Speaker: “That will be $3.27 at the first window.”

(I look at the screen because ice cream is $1 each so I know something is wrong.

The screen says: “2 cones @ $1. 1 cone @ $1.”)

Me: “Excuse me. The screen is incorrect. We ordered three cones and a cup.”

Speaker: “Three cups and a cone?”

Me: “No, three cones and a cup.”

Speaker: “Okay, that will be $3.27 at the first window.”

Me: “No, you only have 3 cones on the screen. We need three cones and a cup.”

Speaker: “Yes, three cones and a cup.”

Me: “A cup of ice cream. Three soft serve ice cream cones and one cup of soft serve ice cream. There are four items.”

Speaker: “Yeah, four cups and a cone.”

Me: “No.”

Speaker: “Three cups and a cone?”

Me: “Yes.”

Speaker: “What do you want on the ice cream?”

Me: “Not a sundae. Sundaes are $1.49. We want the soft serve cup. The cup of ice cream for $1.”

Speaker: “We don’t have that item.”

Me: “Yes. you do. It’s on your menu. It is on your register. Look beside the picture of the ice cream cone. Is there one that says cup?”

Speaker: “Oh, yeah. Cup. That will be $4.32 at the first window.”

Me: “Thanks.”

(At the second window we did get three cones and a cup of ice cream. No napkins and no spoon.)

Talking Bananas

| ID, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I often stop to get milkshakes from a Greek food drive-thru known for its shakes. It’s important to note that while the food is Greek, the employees are local, native English speakers.)

Employee: “Welcome to [Fast Food]. What can I get for you?”

Me: “I’d like a large thick vanilla shake and a large thin mint shake.”

Employee: “Okay, so that’s two large vanilla shakes, one thick and one thin?”

Me: “No, a thick vanilla and a thin mint.”

Employee: “Oh, okay, a large thick vanilla and a medium thin vanilla. Got it.”

Me: “No, only ONE vanilla. Thick. The other one is a THIN MINT shake.”

Employee: “…Banana?”

Me: “Please, just let me order at the window.”

Trafficking In Excuses

| USA | Liars/Scammers, New Hires

(We have recently hired a new cashier. She’s a bit bratty, but is a good worker. She also spends way too much time on her phone while working as well as occasionally coming in late. It is one of our busiest mornings yet, and we only have one cashier on duty, while the new hire is late. Desperate, I call her.)

Me: “[New Hire]? Where are you?! We’re getting slammed here. Why aren’t you at work yet?”

New Hire: “Yeah, there’s been a lot of traffic and there’s really nothing I can do.”

Me: *skeptical as I have heard people use that excuse before* “Really? Well, if you are in the middle of traffic, then send me a picture.”

New Hire: *hangs up*

Me: *gets new notification*

(It’s a selfie of her wearing VERY reflective sunglasses in the car and driving. At first, I thought that I’ll let her off the hook, but then I notice something and I call her back.)

New Hire: *rather smugly* “Told you I was in traffic.”

Me: “Yeah, I thought as much, but I noticed something about the picture you sent me.”

New Hire: *sounding less certain but still smug* “Oh, yeah? What’s that?”

Me: “How about the fact that we live in one of the most populous cities in America and that the background is a flat plain? And how about the fact that your sunglasses shows absolutely NO cars in front of you?”

New Hire: *hangs up*

(A few days later, I got a call from my boss stating that she had been fired, not only for ditching work but also for faking it, as well by coming in the back when we were busy and changing the work logs. She still occasionally drops in to glare and leave a bad report on me. They always get tossed.)