A Ham-Fisted Attempt At Vegetarianism

| Belgium | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(It’s late in the evening. My mother and I had a very long day, and neither of us are in the mood to cook, so we decided to grab a snack at the chip van. Note that I’m a vegetarian.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir, are those lumpias vegetarian?”

Him: “Yes, ma’am! There is just some sparkle of ham in it.”

Me: “…”

(My mother could barely retain her laughter until we left.)


Making A Mocha-ry Of The Order

| SC, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I go into a local fast food chain to get drinks for myself and a friend.)

Me: “Hi, could I get an Iced Mocha, and an Iced Caramel Mocha?”

Cashier: “Okay, so, a caramel frappe and a mocha frappe.”

Me: “Sorry, no, I wanted the Iced Mocha and Iced Caramel Mocha.”

Cashier: *rings me up for iced coffee, which is not the same thing* “Do you want French Vanilla, Hazelnut, or Caramel Syrup?”

Me: “Actually, I wanted the Iced Mocha.” *points to board* “Right up there.”

Cashier: *condescendingly* “Yes, did you want French Vanilla, Caramel, or Hazelnut syrup?”

Me: “None, because I don’t want an iced coffee. I wanted Iced Mochas.”

Cashier: “Don’t take that tone with me.”

(The cashier calls the manager over. I explain what I want and he punches in the two drinks.)

Cashier: “Do you still want the frappes?”

Me: “I never wanted the frappes.”

(The cashier took my money, and then practically threw the change at me. While I waited for my drinks, I noticed her whispering to coworkers and pointing at me. I can understand that it might have been her first day, but she didn’t need to treat me like that.)


Always Wanted To Be The Meat Between Two Buns

| WI, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(My boyfriend and I go to grab food from a well known fast food chain. We usually have our order figured out, but my eye catches a new item on their menu as we roll up to the speaker.)

Cashier: “Hi, welcome to [Chain]. How can I help you today?”

Me: *long silence*

Cashier: “…Hello?”

Me: “Oh, sorry. I was a bit speechless. I just saw this bacon three-way burger.”

Cashier: “Yeah, most people are. Just let me know when you’re ready to order, and don’t forget to breathe!”

Boyfriend: “Did he just…?”

Me: “Remind me to breathe? Yes. Yes, he did.”

(We ordered. I did indeed get that burger, and the cashier was really cool and wished us to enjoy the three-way. He was awesome.)


A Wait-y Reward

| CA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Non-Dialogue, Time

I order in the drive-thru of a burger place. I find out it’s only two coupons per car, so I tell the lady working that I’ll be driving through again. When I get to the window and pay, she asks me to park in the parking lot to wait for my food. I agree and park.

I’m looking at stuff on my phone for a bit when she comes out to give someone else their order. When she sees me she asks “You haven’t gotten your food yet?” I say no and she leaves to check on my food. When she comes back she says it’ll only be a little bit and asks for the other coupon. I show it to her and she tells me that it’ll be free for the long wait.

When I arrive home with the food, I realize she upgraded the small fries of the last coupon to a large and added a Snickers pie.

I don’t know how long I waited for, but I’m sure it wasn’t for as long as she seemed to think it was.


A Combo Of Errors

| Shawnee, KS, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(It’s the weekend and my mom and I are at home while Dad is checking on something at his job. My mom decides to go to a burger drive-thru place to get some lunch.)

Worker #1: “Hello! What can I get you?”

Mom: “Hi, I’d like a #2 combo with nothing on it, and a cheeseburger.”

Worker #1: “So.. two [wrong order] combos?”

Mom: “No, a #2 combo with nothing on it, and just a cheeseburger.”

Worker #1: “Okay, hold on.”

(There’s some shuffling in the background as my mom waits.)

Worker #2: “Okay, what can I get for you today?”

Mom: “A #2 combo with nothing on the cheeseburger and a normal cheeseburger.”

Worker #2: “So, two #2 combos?”

Mom: “No, only one #2 combos, and there’s nothing on that. The other is just a cheeseburger.”

Worker #2: “Okay, I think I got it. That’ll be [total].”

(When she got home, they had given us two combos, but not charged us for them. I opened my burger, to discover a single piece of onion.)