No One Is The King Of This Hill

| Oxford, England, UK | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink

(I’m in college. I and a group of my friends have headed out to pick up lunch in the centre of town and head into a fast food place. They’re advertising a new burger called “The Big King.” The advertising isn’t very clear as to what it has in it.)

Friend: “Excuse me, what’s in the Big King?”

(The server jolts and looks startled before turning to face into the kitchen.)

Server: *heavily accented* “[Worker #1]! What is Big King?!”

(The person he’s shouting at looks like a deer in headlights, shakes his head, and dashes off.)

Server: “[Worker #2]! What is Big King?!”

(The second person does the same, this time heading through a door in the back and not returning. At this point we’re all exchanging looks.)

Server: “[Worker #3]! What is Big King?!”

(The third person froze solid and didn’t respond. My friend put up his hands and ordered something else. The phrase “What is Big King?!” became a running joke among our whole class.)


The Customer Service Is Soda-pressing, Part 2

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Employees, Food & Drink

(I work from home for an IT company and typically work PST times as that’s where the bulk of my stakeholders are. I live in the EST time zone and as it’s close to Christmas, I decide to take some time in the morning to do errands before the west coast folks are online. It’s about 11:00 am EST and I’m starving so I head into a well-known fast food joint, since it’s on my errand route.)

Me: “Hi, can I please have [Breakfast Wrap] and a small [Diet Soda]?”

Cashier: “A small what?”

Me: “[Diet Soda], please.”

Cashier: “Okay, that’s [total].”

Worker #2: “[Cashier], what are you doing? Why are you pouring a soft drink? It’s not even noon yet!” *laughs*

Cashier: “Right? Who in their right mind orders a soft drink in the morning? That’s just weird, right?” *turns to see me still standing there and sputters* “Well, here you are!”

(I was embarrassed beyond belief but held my tongue. I wasn’t about to ruin a 15- to 16-year-old’s day by calling her out but I spent the rest of the day thinking of a million retorts.)

The Customer Service Is Soda-pressing


Giving You The Onion Ringaround

, | Yorkshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I’m on a break from work, so go to a fast food place to get a snack. I order eight onion rings, take the bag, go to find a seat, only to open it and find they’ve given me five chicken nuggets instead. Note that I’m a vegetarian, so it’s not as if I can just eat them anyway.)

Me: “I’m really sorry to bother you, but I ordered eight onion rings from you, and you’ve given me chicken nuggets instead.”

Cashier: “Oh, I’m so sorry about that! I’ll get it sorted right away!”

(She hands me another bag, and even though I doubt they’d get it wrong again, I open it to check before going back to my seat.)

Me: “Uh, excuse me… but these are still chicken nuggets. You’ve just given me eight instead of five. I ordered EIGHT ONION RINGS.”

Cashier: “Oh, wow, I’m honestly so sorry! I don’t know how this happened; I’ll sort it out for you now!”

(She hands me another bag, with five onion rings. By this point I’m so happy to not have chicken nuggets again that I don’t bother going back to complain for the third time. At least they were polite about it!)