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Your Clumsiness Is In Pole Position

| CA, USA | Coworkers, Health & Body

(I tend to be a fast walker and also rather clumsy; usually I drop things or bump into things. I’m an average sized woman who does not own a lick of makeup. On this particular occasion my boyfriend, an over six foot tall military veteran who lives out of town, is down for a visit which I’ve been excitedly babbling about to my coworkers. Just after parking the car I’m looking at him with those sappy, lovey dovey eyes while walking around the car and walk right into a pole. Because I was looking at him the pole hit the side of my face, causing my glasses bridge to punch right where eye socket meets nose. Needless to say I have a pretty nasty bruise on the side of my face and a black eye. This conversation happens several times, almost verbatim, at work.)

Coworker: “Oh, my gosh, [My Name]! What happened to your face?!”

Me: “I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going and walked right into a pole.”

Coworker: *looks me over, then gets real close to talk more quietly* “It’s okay, you can tell me the truth.”

Me: “[Coworker], this is me we’re talking about.”

Coworker: “Yeah… you would walk face first into a pole.”

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They Were Just Wingin’ It

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Math & Science

(I like buffalo wings, a lot. This fast food place has a 12-piece, 24-piece, and 48-piece options. I order 36 wings. The kid rings me up and tells me the price, which seems awfully high according to the board prices above and behind him.)

Me: “Why so much?”

Cashier: “We don’t have a 36-piece option, so I charged you for the 48.”

Me: “But you DO have a 24-piece option, and a 12-piece option. Doesn’t that make 36 total?”

(He stared at me a minute, then canceled the order and redid it, all without a word.)

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Thankfully Not On Your ‘High’ Horse

, | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Health & Body

(I decide to get lunch at Popular Fast Food Restaurant. I walk in and stand waiting to order for five minutes, with no one at the counter. I have brightly dyed hair.)

Cashier: *speed walks from outside to behind counter* “I’m so sorry, miss. I didn’t see you there!”

Me: “It’s okay.” *places order*

Cashier: “I like your hair, I’ve always wanted to do mine red, white, and blue because that would be f***ing awesome, but they won’t let us do it here.”

Me: “Yeah, I work for [Locally-Owned Pizza Shop] and technically we aren’t supposed to have dyed hair, but they don’t really care as long as it goes under your hat.”

Cashier: “Well, technically we aren’t supposed to smoke marijuana, but I’m still high right now.”

(Moment of silence, he gets an ‘oh s**t’ look on his face.)

Me: “Me too, man. Me too.”

(He let out a sigh of relief and gave me a high five and a free milkshake.)

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Customer, Interrupted

| Winnipeg, MT, Canada | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I am at a popular burger chain. The lineup to give orders is fairly long, and while I am waiting I keep rehearsing my order in my head so that I can rattle it off fairly quickly.)

Employee: “What would you like?”

Me: “I’d like a [Burger] with—”

Employee: *interrupting* “Would you like fries with that?”

Me: “Yes, please. I’d like—”

Employee: “What size?”

Me: “Large, and—”

Employee: “What would you like to drink?”

Me: “Just water, please, and—”

Employee: “Is that for here or to go?”

Me: *sigh* “To go.”

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Another Way They Make You Cry, Part 2

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am allergic to red onion and if I come into contact with it at all start having typical allergy symptoms (runny eyes and nose, itchy throat, etc.) but after a few hours I actually have trouble breathing. I am always careful to check ingredients before ordering and whilst cross-contamination can sometimes occur, it does not happen too often. I am ordering a kebab and have asked for meat, sauce, lettuce and tomato. This shop uses red onion.)

Shop Owner: “You don’t want any onion?”

Me: “No, thanks, I’m allergic”

Shop Owner: “Yes, but they’re very good for you.”

Me: “Thanks, but so is breathing.”

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Another Way They Make You Cry