Coke Zero Chance

| MI, USA | Employees, Food & Drink

(I am the employee in this one. Until a boss stops me I like to say things that will make my customer’s laugh.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Fast Food Place]. It would be my pleasure to help you today.”

Customer: “Just a large Coke.”

Me: “That will be $1.47.”

Customer: “You better have good Coke.”

Me: *without missing a beat* “Ma’am, if we had good coke that would be illegal.”

Has Only Salad Between Their Ears

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m vegetarian so when I go out with friends, I usually have to modify menu items to include no meat. We are at a popular Mexican fast food establishment when this happens.)

Me: “Can I get a taco salad with no meat, please?”

Worker: “Taco salad. Would you like ground beef, chicken, or steak?”

Me: “None.”

Worker: “Okay, no taco salad.”

Me: “No. I want a taco salad, just without the meat.”

Worker: “Our taco salads have either beef, chicken, or steak in them.”

Me: “Yes, but I want one without the meat.”

Worker: *just blankly stares at me* “Taco salads have meat.”

(I gave up and just ordered menu items that have no meat in them to start with.)

The Freedom To Refuse Fries

| Finland | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Money

(For some time I haven’t been able to finish a burger combo, so I usually buy just the sandwich and drink.)

Me: “A burger and coke.”

Cashier: “Combo is cheaper.”

Me: “I know, but I’d have to throw the fries away.”

Cashier: “Take the combo; it’s cheaper.”

Me: “Burger and coke, or I take my business to [Domestic Competitor with many times the market share of the global chain].”

Cashier: *acting hurt* “Well, SORRY for trying to save your money!”

The Root Of All Sarcasm

, | Burlington, VT, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful

Customer: “Hey, what exactly is a root beer float?”

Coworker: *holding up a cup* “It’s one of these, with a root beer float in it.”

Hope Dr. Pepper Is An Ear Doctor

, | Macon, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

(On our way to my husband’s doctor’s appointment, we stop at a fast food restaurant for breakfast. I go and sit down while my husband orders for us. I overhear this.)

Husband: “A number five and a number eight, please.”

Cashier: “And what to drink with those?”

Husband: “A Coke and a Dr. Pepper.”

Cashier: “What was that?”

Husband: “A Coke and a Dr. Pepper.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, one more time.”

Husband: *slowly* “A Coke and a Dr. Pepper.”

Cashier: “A Coke or a Dr. Pepper?”

Husband: “No, a Coke AND a Dr. Pepper.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, you lost me.”

Husband: “Two sodas, please.”