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Just Dropped A Jaeger Bombshell

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I stop at the gas station to buy a frozen drink. There are two girls working behind the counter, talking loudly to one another about pregnancy and C-sections. I get my drink and go up to the counter.)

Me: “Hello.”

Cashier #1: “So, was it weird to be having his baby when you weren’t together with him?”

Cashier #2: *doesn’t acknowledge me while ringing me up* “Ha! We were never together in the first place!”

Cashier #1: “Well, then, how did you…?”

Cashier #2: “Way too much Jaeger.” *laughs* “That’s why I always advise everyone against it at parties.” *hands me receipt without looking at me*

Me: “Thanks…”

(It’s amazing what people will talk about in public!)

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Should Have Been A Smoothie Transaction

, | USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive, Popular

(I stop at a gas station/convenience store on my lunch break to buy a kind of pre-packaged smoothie that you blend yourself. It’s a Thursday so I just got paid; I’ve had trouble in the past with my bank randomly putting holds on my paychecks, so with things like these smoothies, I always pay before preparing just in case it won’t go through.)

Me: “Hi. Just this, please.”

Employee: *picks up smoothie and looks at it* “This isn’t blended.”

Me: “I know.”

Employee: *sets it down in front of me without ringing it in* “It’s not blended.”

Me: “I know.”

Employee: “You have to blend it.”

Me: “…I know. I’ll blend it after I pay.”

Employee: “…”

Me: “So… can I buy this?”

Employee: “It’s not blended.”

Me: “Okay. I…” *I point to myself* “will blend…” *I swirl my hands around each other* “this smoothie…” *I point to the smoothie* “AFTER I pay.” *I wave my card toward the reader* “Okay?”

Employee: *skeptically* “Okay, but it’s not blended.”

(I have to take a few deep breaths before I can respond.)

Me: “I think I can handle the consequences of that, thanks.”

(He finally rings it through and I pay, then go blend my smoothie. As I walk out, I hear the employee shout with great revelation:)

Employee: “Oh! Well, you should’ve said you’d blend it once you’d paid.”

(It took all my self-control to not throw myself or the employee into traffic.)

Put Them In High Spirits

, | St. Louis, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Trending

(I am an overnight clerk at a convenience store. A woman comes in late, buying alcohol, and I can’t tell her age.)

Me: “Can I see your ID, please?”

(The woman gets flustered, shows her ID, and leaves with her alcohol, still visibly flustered. About an hour later a man pulls up to the market looking angry. He comes in and stands over me.)

Menacing Guy: “You the guy that asked my woman for ID?”

Me: *gulp* “Uh, yeah. You see the… law says… and I’m new…”

(The menacing guy breaks out in a huge smile and sticks out his hand.)

Menacing Guy: “Thanks, man. You made my wife’s night!”

(The guy left happy, and after that I made sure to ask every woman for ID.)

A Different State Of English

| USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Geography, Language & Words

(I’ve just moved across the country, and my boyfriend’s driving me home from the airport. Since it’s a three-hour drive, we make a stop at a gas station to refuel and grab something to hold us over until we can get to town. We bring everything to the cashier.)

Cashier: “Find everything okay?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, just needed stuff to stop us from getting hungry for a bit.”

Cashier: “Long drive?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, I’m from [Town]. She’s just moved here from Ohio.”

Cashier: “That’s in Europe, right? How good is her English?”

(I hold back a laugh.)

Boyfriend: “…Sure.”

(He then kept telling me over the next week that I had really good English.)

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