Another Death After The Funeral

| OK, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Pranks

(My grandfather passed away the Wednesday before Labor Day, and I go to his funeral. It’s an 800-mile trip, one way, to get there. As my supervisor lost her husband on the same day, this leaves the store SEVERELY shorthanded on one of the busiest days of the year. I was supposed to be back that Monday, but the funeral director talked my father into having the funeral ON Monday, and the burial was Tuesday. So, I am gone for a week and terrified I’ll be in trouble for having been gone much longer than expected. On Thursday, I walk into the store, carrying the paper with the obituary, the planner showing I was at the funeral, and even my grandfather’s flag to prove I wasn’t just skipping out of work.)

Assistant Manager: “[My Name], you need to go to the office. [Manager] needs to talk to you.”

Me: *anxious* “No, no, see, [Assistant Manager], I really WAS at a funeral! I’ve got the things you need to prove it, and the director talked my dad into having it two days later than it was supposed to be, and I’m so sorry. I—”

Assistant Manager: *suddenly very stern* “You need to get into that office, RIGHT NOW, and talk to [Manager]!”

(I go into the office, having a massive panic attack and thinking I’m in serious trouble and on the verge of being fired.)

Manager: “Oh, there you are.”

Me: “[Manager], really, I was at a funeral. You know I don’t like skipping work. I’ll take a write up. Please don’t fire me! I have the things you need. I even brought his flag!”

Manager: *confused* “[My Name], what are you talking about? I know you were at a funeral. I wanted to give you the plant we bought for you.”

(I take the plant and carry it out. My panic has faded, and I just turn and glare at the assistant manager, who smiles, and I realize she was playing me.)

Assistant Manager: “So! Do you like the plant?”

Me: “Which car is yours? I need to go key it.”


Pumping Gas Is Not His Calling

| Littleton, CO, USA | Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I pull into a gas station and park by the store. An employee is sitting on a ledge, having a cigarette.)

Me: “Excuse me, do you work here?”

Employee: “Yep.”

Me: “Does this store pump gas for disabled customers?”

Employee: *walking to my car* “Go to pumps three or four. There’s a sticker on the pump with the store phone number on it. Dial that number, tell them you need assistance, and someone will come pump your gas.”

Me: “Thank you so much!”

(I drive to pump four, get out my cell phone, and dial the number. The employee walks up to me.)

Employee: “See, that’s the number. All you have to do is call that number.”

Me: “Great! That’s what I’m doing!”

Employee: “Oh, did you want assistance?”

Me: “Uh… yes…”

Employee: “I’ll be happy to pump your gas for you!”

(Which he proceeded to do.)


Change Your Change Tactics

| Bavaria, Germany | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Money

(It’s late and supermarkets here in Bavaria have to be closed after 8:00 pm by law, so I have to stop at a gas station to run some errands. It’s only two things and I quickly calculate that they’ll cost me 11,99€. I prepare 22,00€ in a 20€ bill and 2€ in coins.)

Cashier: “That’ll be 11,99€.”

Me: “Sure, here you go.”

(I drop the 22€. I can see her punching in 20€ but don’t think much of it until I hear her getting coins out of the register.)

Me: “Oh, sorry. I actually gave you 22€. Maybe you’ve not seen the coins.”

Cashier: “Yeah, I saw. But it only costs 11,99€. The bill is enough.”

Me: “I know. I just dislike having too much coins in my wallet. This way you can just give me a 10€ bill.”

Cashier: “But you’ll only get 8,01€. Just look at the display of the register.”

Me: “Yeah, but that’s what the 2€ are for.”

(The cashier looks dumbfounded.)

Me: “Two plus eight are…? 10€.”

Cashier: “I’m not letting you scam me! Please take your change and leave!”

(She drops the 8,10€ on the counter and sternly looks at me. I, even though exceptionally bewildered, just take my coins and leave. The kicker? I’m pretty sure I saw that girl again some weeks later, heading into our local university!)


Now Serving Vanilla, Strawberry, And Pig’s Blood

, | USA | Bosses & Owners, Health & Body, Lazy/Unhelpful

(I hit my head in the cooler on the big cooling unit while stocking the beverages. My head starts bleeding profusely. I run into the bathroom to try to stop it, but blood keeps pouring down my face like a scene out of Carrie.)

Coworker: “Are you okay?”

Me: “No. Dan you call my husband to come get me? And call [Boss] to have him come cover my shift.”

Coworker: “I’ll be right back.” *calls people* “[Boss] says he doesn’t want to come back in because he already worked today. Your husband is on his way.”

Me: *still bleeding* “What does he mean he doesn’t want to come in? It’s his job! I can’t keep working like this!” *points to head wound*

Coworker: “I have a line out front. Do you need anything?”

Me: “No, I’ll just wait in here until my husband comes.”

(My husband arrives with another family member to drive my car home. As I am exiting the building, the phone rings. Out of reflex I answer it; it’s the boss.)

Boss: “Hey, [My Name], [Coworker] says you’re going home because you hurt yourself?”

Me: “Yes, I hit my head and I’m bleeding. My husband is here; I’m going home.”

Boss: “Well, we can’t leave just one person working…”

Me: “I don’t know what to tell you, [Boss], but it’s up to you to figure out. I’m going home.”

Boss: “Well… can you stay? I already worked today. I don’t feel like coming back in.”

Me: “Can I STAY?! I’m bleeding profusely from a head wound and I look like Carrie at the prom. If you want me to make sandwiches and scoop ice cream and bleed all over the food, you can take that up with the health department yourself. But I’m going home.”

Boss: “Well… can you call [Different Coworker]? I really don’t feel like coming in.”

Me: “She already worked today, too. She’s not going to want to come in. It isn’t my job to find coverage for my shift when I get hurt at work. I’m going home. Goodbye.” *hangs up*


Pumping Out Lies

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful

(I’m visiting my family in a fairly rural area. I’ve rented a car for the trip, so I don’t know all the specifics of the car. I’m running low on gas as I’m driving around running errands, and see a gas station with low prices. I pull in to get gas, but they don’t have the option to pay at the pump, so I go inside.)

Me: “Hi, I’d like to fill my tank on pump three. Can you process that in here with a credit card?”

Cashier: “We can take credit. How much do you want?”

Me: “I’m not sure how much it will cost to fill the tank. Can I just fill it and you charge my card when I’m done? I’m willing to leave my card with you at the register.”

Cashier: “No can do, honey. Give me a specific amount of gas you want.”

Me: “Okay… I think it will take about $30 to fill the tank. If I can’t fit all that in there, can you refund me for the difference?”

Cashier: “Sure, we can figure that out. $30 on pump three. You’re good to go.”

(I go out to pump my gas, and lo and behold, the car only holds $27 and change in gas. I go back inside.)

Me: “Hey, me again. My tank is full on three and it didn’t hold the full 30 dollars. Can you refund the last couple of dollars?”

Cashier: “Oh, sorry, I can’t do that, honey. I see that you’re stuck on $27 and change. Maybe you can pump the rest into your spare can?”

Me: “I don’t have a spare can. Maybe I can just get a couple of sodas and we can work out the difference? It looks like two sodas would be just over $3 and I have a bit of change on me?”

Cashier: “Sorry, honey, I can’t move cash between the pumps and the store. You can either use the last couple dollars of gas or let it ride.”

Me: “Well, it would have been nice to know that upfront rather than being told you could settle the difference if I couldn’t fit all the gas, but, whatever. It’s less than $3; it won’t break me.”

(As this conversation was happening, a man walks out of the back room, listens discreetly, and then speaks up.)

Man: “[Cashier]! Get into the office!” *to me* “Sorry about that. Would you like cash back for the gas you couldn’t use, that amount refunded to your card, or to buy something else in the store?”

Me: “Um, well, I stand by my offer to grab a couple of sodas and settle the difference. It should be about $.50, and I have that in cash. Plus, we could really use the caffeine!”

Man: “Go take the sodas and don’t worry about the difference. This is the third time I’ve caught her refusing to settle with people who paid for more gas than they could use, and she always pulls her car around and pumps the excess into her own car. Our policy is to give the customer cash, credit, or purchases back if they overpay, as she stated when you came in here the first time. If it didn’t cost so d*** much, I’d install the readers at the pump. Sorry for your inconvenience. Have a nice night.”

(When I mentioned this to my family, they knowingly nodded and said “oh yeah, don’t go there unless you want to be ripped off… Glad the manager is finally stepping up!”)

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