Put Them In High Spirits

, | St. Louis, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Popular, Trending

(I am an overnight clerk at a convenience store. A woman comes in late, buying alcohol, and I can’t tell her age.)

Me: “Can I see your ID, please?”

(The woman gets flustered, shows her ID, and leaves with her alcohol, still visibly flustered. About an hour later a man pulls up to the market looking angry. He comes in and stands over me.)

Menacing Guy: “You the guy that asked my woman for ID?”

Me: *gulp* “Uh, yeah. You see the… law says… and I’m new…”

(The menacing guy breaks out in a huge smile and sticks out his hand.)

Menacing Guy: “Thanks, man. You made my wife’s night!”

(The guy left happy, and after that I made sure to ask every woman for ID.)

A Different State Of English

| USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Geography, Language & Words

(I’ve just moved across the country, and my boyfriend’s driving me home from the airport. Since it’s a three-hour drive, we make a stop at a gas station to refuel and grab something to hold us over until we can get to town. We bring everything to the cashier.)

Cashier: “Find everything okay?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, just needed stuff to stop us from getting hungry for a bit.”

Cashier: “Long drive?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, I’m from [Town]. She’s just moved here from Ohio.”

Cashier: “That’s in Europe, right? How good is her English?”

(I hold back a laugh.)

Boyfriend: “…Sure.”

(He then kept telling me over the next week that I had really good English.)

An Explosive Realization

| St George, UT, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I stopped at a local gas station one day to fill my truck up. Another patron is also filling up her vehicle in the next pump. I notice an employee checking the garbage next to the pumps. This doesn’t bother me at first, until I noticed a light cigarette in her hand. My mouth is agape at first but without hesitation, confronted her.)

Me: “Excuse me? Are you kidding me right now?!”

Employee: *she gives me the most confusing stare* “What?”

Me: “You have a light cigarette in your hand, right next to the gas pumps! You’re not supposed to do that. It’s dangerous!”

Employee: *just shrugs* “Sorry. Don’t worry, though. It’s okay. I’m not even near you, anyway.”

Me: *I scoff and give a nervous chuckle* “Okay?! Death by second hand smoke is one thing lady, but death by second hand explosion is another!”

Other Patron: *starts to giggle loudly*

(The employee’s face was completely red as she went back to her smoking station on the side of the building, away from the pumps. As I finished filling up and drove away, the employee gave me the biggest glare. Needless to say, I never filled up at that particular gas station ever again.)

Been There, Sold That, Got The T-Shirt

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Bosses & Owners, Lazy/Unhelpful

(I get a job via a temp agency to peddle a credit card offer for an out-of-state bank at a gas station for three separate four-hour shifts. This is my first conversation with my contact from the bank.)

Me: “So, people are applying for a credit card for an out-of-state bank? Is there anything else they get?”

Supervisor: “Yeah, they get an “America” t-shirt!”

Me: “Anything else? Do they get anything else? Like a gas card or something?”

Supervisor: “No, just the shirt.”

Me: “It sounds to me that it would be a tough sell on a t-shirt alone.”

Supervisor: “Yeah, but since 9/11 people will do a lot of stuff for America, so the shirt should be enough.”

(From start to finish, the entire job is a fiasco. There is supposed to be a supervisor from the bank as well as another employee, yet neither manifest. I am told to I HAVE wear one of the t-shirts that the bank is offering despite the fact that none are in my size. Worst of all, two hours before the end of my last humiliating shift, I get a call from my contact at the bank and I relate to him my trials in trying to get people to apply for a credit card with only a shirt to offer in return.)

Supervisor: “You mean no one’s wanting the gas card either?”

Me: “What gas card?”

Supervisor: “Oh, yeah, there’s a ten dollar gas card for applying. Didn’t you know?”

Me: *now frustrated* “NO! I even asked you when I started if there was anything else! I would’ve gotten at least double the signatures if I’d known about the gas card!”

Supervisor: “OH! Well, they get the gas card just for applying.”

(The original goal for the bonus was fifty signatures, but they cut it down to ten, seeing as I’d had such issues. I still missed it by one signature.)

The Price Of A Lift

| Tucson, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Bosses & Owners, Money

(I have just finished working graveyard one night, when my boss offers me a ride home. When I accept, she asks if I am willing to do a favor for her.)

Boss: “Before I take you home, I was wondering if you’d be willing to go to [Competitor] to get the price of cigarettes to price match for me? As they know me.”

Me: “Uh, sure.”

(We drive to the other store.)

Boss: “Now, [My Name], just ask them and make sure they don’t think you’re from our store. The manager there knows me.”

Me: “Not a problem.”

(I button up my jacket to hide my work shirt and get the prices.)

Me: “The prices were [prices].”

Boss: “Good work, [My Name], but did you realize you took [Company]’s fountain cup in with you?”