Just Avoid The Red Ones

| NY, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(Turning myself in on this one. I am standing directly under a radio speaker, organizing a display, when a male customer approaches me from the other side of the display table.)

Customer: *quietly* “Do you have any feminine products?”

Me: *mishears ‘feminine’ as ‘M&M’* “Oh, we have the big bags there, and over here we have smaller ones.”

Customer: *looks around for a moment, before turning back to me* “No, uh… feminine products. For… for ladies?”

Me: “…Oh. Yes, sorry, right over here.” *directs customer to feminine products* “But you know, some M&Ms might help, too!”


Just Dropped A Jaeger Bombshell

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I stop at the gas station to buy a frozen drink. There are two girls working behind the counter, talking loudly to one another about pregnancy and C-sections. I get my drink and go up to the counter.)

Me: “Hello.”

Cashier #1: “So, was it weird to be having his baby when you weren’t together with him?”

Cashier #2: *doesn’t acknowledge me while ringing me up* “Ha! We were never together in the first place!”

Cashier #1: “Well, then, how did you…?”

Cashier #2: “Way too much Jaeger.” *laughs* “That’s why I always advise everyone against it at parties.” *hands me receipt without looking at me*

Me: “Thanks…”

(It’s amazing what people will talk about in public!)


Should Have Been A Smoothie Transaction

, | USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive, Popular

(I stop at a gas station/convenience store on my lunch break to buy a kind of pre-packaged smoothie that you blend yourself. It’s a Thursday so I just got paid; I’ve had trouble in the past with my bank randomly putting holds on my paychecks, so with things like these smoothies, I always pay before preparing just in case it won’t go through.)

Me: “Hi. Just this, please.”

Employee: *picks up smoothie and looks at it* “This isn’t blended.”

Me: “I know.”

Employee: *sets it down in front of me without ringing it in* “It’s not blended.”

Me: “I know.”

Employee: “You have to blend it.”

Me: “…I know. I’ll blend it after I pay.”

Employee: “…”

Me: “So… can I buy this?”

Employee: “It’s not blended.”

Me: “Okay. I…” *I point to myself* “will blend…” *I swirl my hands around each other* “this smoothie…” *I point to the smoothie* “AFTER I pay.” *I wave my card toward the reader* “Okay?”

Employee: *skeptically* “Okay, but it’s not blended.”

(I have to take a few deep breaths before I can respond.)

Me: “I think I can handle the consequences of that, thanks.”

(He finally rings it through and I pay, then go blend my smoothie. As I walk out, I hear the employee shout with great revelation:)

Employee: “Oh! Well, you should’ve said you’d blend it once you’d paid.”

(It took all my self-control to not throw myself or the employee into traffic.)

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