Meet Dead Smurf

| UT, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

(I work in the bakery department. The entrance also enters into the deli. I notice that there were two spills of red liquid.)

Deli Employee #1: “It looks like we killed someone back here.”

Deli Employee #2: “I shot a Smurf.”

Me: “There are two spots.”

Deli Employee #2: “Well, I had to take out the witness.”


That Last Observation Takes The Cake

| CA, USA | Bosses & Owners

(I work as a cake decorator in a grocery store bakery. Since I can’t see the displays without walking out onto the floor it can be difficult to keep everything full. At the time I have five minutes left in my shift and about fifteen minutes worth of cleaning left to do when the store manager calls me out onto the floor to look at the cake displays. My mind goes straight into panic mode, assuming something is terribly wrong and I’m going to have to stay late to fix it.)

Manager: “I want you to tell me what you see.”

Me: “Several of the jumbo cupcakes are low, there’s only one of those cakes left, that spot’s also almost empty…” *I point out a couple more almost empty spots, but fortunately nothing is completely empty*

Manager: “Oh, yeah? I see lots of beautiful colors.”

Me: *in relief* “Oh, really?”

Manager: “Yeah, they’re all very eye catching. Good critical eye on your part, though.”

(I appreciated the compliment, but it really wasn’t worth the near heart attack he gave me while giving it!)


CCTV: Crazy Cashier Television

| Bay Area, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Musical Mayhem

(I am checking out on a slow night at a grocery store. The cashier is away from her checkstand, busy with other duties; she directs me to her register as I approach. As she moves to the checkstand, she starts singing after the music playing in the store, which has just finished a very repetitive chorus.)

Cashier: *singing* “Watchin’ you, watchin’ you, watchin’ you…”

Me: “Oh, are there cameras in here?” *looks up* “I guess there are.”

Cashier: “Yeah, there are.” *blowing a raspberry in the direction of the cameras* “I don’t think they ever watch them, though. Or I wouldn’t be doing that.”