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Put Your Foot In Your Mouth

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Health & Body

(I get a call from my health insurance company.)

Agent: “We are calling about your recent visit to [Podiatrist]’s office. This appointment was flagged as possibly being due to a work injury. Is that the case?”

Me: “No, it wasn’t from any kind of injury.”

Agent: “What was the diagnosis, sir?”

Me: “I had a heel spur.”

Agent: “And where on your body was that diagnosed?”

Me: “Umm… My heel?”

Agent: “Where on your body is that?”

Me: “My foot… It was an appointment with a foot doctor.”

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Your Argument Veers To The Left

| USA | Bizarre/Silly, Health & Body

(A father-in-law and son-in-law team of plumbers are working on our broken drain line, and the father-in-law gets up with muck on his gloves and goes out to the truck to find a part.)

Father-In-Law: *swearing* “Why are there never any right gloves in this truck?”

Son-In-Law: “Because you’re left-handed.”

Father-In-Law: “What’s that got to do with it?”

Son-In-Law: “Every time the phone rings on your hip, you strip off your right glove and answer it. Your left hand keeps working.”

Father-In-Law: “…” *quietly* “I don’t do that. Do I?”

(No more complaints about right gloves!)

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Directionless Direction

| OK, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I live on corner on a main road. The cross street is clearly numbered (like 143rd street). The cross street doesn’t continue so it is T with 2 corners. I live on one corner and the other corner is a 40-acre field, and the opposite of both corners is just woods. After ordering food, my instructions to the driver included the cross street and house number and I say “it’s the only house at the intersection.”)

Driver: “Hey, I’ve been driving around and I can’t find your house.”

Me: “Where are you?”

Driver: “At the corner of [X] and [Y].”

Me: “What do the directions say?”

Driver: “That it’s the only house at the corner of [X] and [Y].”

Me: “Do you see a house?”

Driver: “Yes.”

Me: “Is it the only house at the intersection?”

Driver: “Yes.”

Me: “Any reason you can’t deliver it to me there?”

Driver: “Well, I guess not.”

(It would have been bad enough if it happened once, but it happened a lot. I eventually refined the instructions to indicate which street the house faced, but even that didn’t help.)

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Tech Unsupportive, Part 2

| Chicago, IL, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

(My boyfriend’s Internet is acting up. After getting the customer care support number online, he finds it’s not working. So he gets a rep in chat.)

Boyfriend: “So the Internet is acting wonky. Could you check the line?”

IT Representative: “Sure, but first, why don’t you cycle our router.”

Boyfriend: “If I cycle your router, I’ll completely disconnect and lose this chat.”

IT Representative: “No, you’ll be fine. Go cycle the router, please.”

Boyfriend: “Okay, if you say so.”

(He lost the chat.)

Related:
Tech Unsupportive

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Has Hangups With Bad Language

| Chicago, IL, USA | Employees, Language & Words

(I’ve received a call from an unknown number three times a day for the last two weeks, and they never leave a message. I’ve attempted answering them, but they usually hang up regardless of whether I say anything. Finally one day, there’s a person on the other end…)

Me: “WHO THE F*** IS THIS?”

Telemarketer: *offended* “Language!” *hangs up*

(Don’t call me three times a day for two weeks and act offended when I answer in a less than polite manner. They stopped calling me after this.)

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