Scamming Is A Family Business

| AB, Canada | Family & Kids, Liars/Scammers

(I work from home in the IT field, but I am not on shift yet. If I am to be called into work, procedure is to call my cell phone as I always have that with me, even if I am away from home. The land-line is used ONLY when I am actually on shift. My land-line phone rings…)

Me: “Hello?”

(Only background noise on the line for a few seconds.)

Person: “Can you hear me?”

Me: “I can hear you.”

Person: “Hello, I am the senior IT technician for your computer. There is a problem with it that we need to fix immediately.”

Me: “Is your mother proud that you are scamming people?”

Person: “Yes, she is.”

Me: “That explains a lot.” *hangs up*

Losing This Train Of Thought

| The Netherlands | Funny Names, Transportation

(I am moving to the UK for seven months. My mum is helping me move. I will move by train as it’s the most cost-efficient and practical way. I am also carrying a bike. My mum will go back home afterwards, also by train. This means that we have a pretty complicated ticket to book. We have to go to Brussels to catch the train to London, and from there we take a train to my final destination, in Wales. The tickets up until London we can book at the Dutch international rail office, but one employee tells us it is much, much cheaper to book the British ticket at their website. I attempt to do so but run into a problem. The tickets cannot be sent to another address than a UK address and the other option is to pick it up at a station with the credit or debit card you bought it with. My dad is the only person in the family with a credit card and our debit cards are Dutch and don’t utilise the same system so we can’t use them at the British website. Buying the tickets when we get to London is also a possibility but not with the bike as it needs a reservation and it would be a lot more expensive in any case. As we need to call for a bike ticket in any case I grab the phone. My dad calls first as it is his credit card we’re going to be using. The person on the other side of the line has a thick accent what we suspect is of Indian origin. My dad on the other hand has a pronounced Dutch accent. I can’t hear what is being said on the other side of the line.)

Dad: “I would like to buy some tickets for my daughter and my wife for their trip to the UK. I would like to know if it is possible for the tickets to be sent to our Dutch address or be sent by email.”

Dad: “Pardon, I didn’t understand what you said there.”

Dad: “They can just pick it up at the train station?”

Dad: “No… that is not possible. I will be paying for them so they can’t do that.”

Dad: “No… I am NOT giving them my credit card.”

Dad: “Pardon, what did you say? No, no. I cannot give them my credit card.”

Dad: “Yes, we WILL be paying.”

Dad: *to me* “You take it… I don’t understand him very well and I think it’s mutual.”

(I take the phone with a worried frown.)

Me: “Hello?”

Salesperson: “Hello, I understand you want to book tickets from us and there is a problem with that?”

Me: “Yes, my dad is paying with his credit card, but only my mother and I will be going.”

Salesperson: “That is no problem; you just go to the machine in London and get the ticket from there with the credit card used for the payment.”

Me: “I don’t think my dad is going to allow us to take his credit card… so that’s not possible. Is there any other option?”

Salesperson: “We can also send it to you. We send to all UK addresses.”

Me: “We don’t live in the UK, though. We’re going there… I want to get to my UK address with this ticket.”

Salesperson: “Well, you can also get the ticket from the ticket machine or the information desk.”

Me: “Without the credit card?”

Salesperson: “No, you need the credit card used for the payment.”

(I sighed internally but finally after a few more rounds like that managed to get in his head that that was not an option. He decided to make an exception for us and sent us the tickets to our Dutch address. Next came the fun with the Dutch names. I have the in the Netherlands very common surname ‘van der Wal’, which is relatively easy, but the name of my street and my city were not as straightforward. After a lot of back and forth we think we were on the same wavelength. Anxiously we awaited our tickets, and sure enough about a week later they arrived, sent to the correctly spelled address at the correctly spelled name. It was finally time to catch the train. After a gruelling trip of already over 8 hours to London we made it to London Paddington. We dragged our stuff on the train and squeezed into our reserved seats. I took a look at the ticket above our head and started to laugh. It proudly said: name: THUNDERWALL.)

Neither Snow Nor Rain Nor Heat, But Dogs

| IL, USA | Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful, Liars/Scammers, Pets & Animals

(We are watching my friend’s dog while she is on vacation. Our house sits on two acres of property and our mailbox is in front of our house. The lead for the dog and the mailbox has about 200 feet of yard in between plus two separate wooden fences. Furthermore she is only out when we are out as she has a habit of digging in the yard. This takes place about two or three days after we start watching her.)

Me: *calls mailman* “Hello, my name is [My Name] and I live at [Address], and I got a message in my mailbox asking me to set up a time to pick up my mail? I am not sure why I need to pick it up as we didn’t request it to be held.”

Postmaster: “Yes, we have received notification that you have a dog and it tried to bite our mailman so he will not be delivering your mail due to safety concerns. Unfortunately we have to consider our employees well being and therefore we must fix the issue for your mail to be delivered again.”

Me: “ Ok, I understand that that may be an issue with some people but I can guarantee that [Dog] did not try to bite our mailman as she isn’t allowed outside alone, plus she only taken out on the opposite side of the yard within our fence. There must be some mistake with the address.”

Postmaster: “Well, I am very sorry about that. I will look into it and we will get your mail going again if that is the case. Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Me: “You, too.”

(A few more days go by and I still do not receive mail. Then one day I get a message that I have a package at the post office that could not be delivered as my house was “unreachable due to dog.” I physically go up to the post office to collect my parcel and to talk to them because I am getting irritated at this time.)

Me: ”Hi, I called the other day. I live at [Address] and my mail is still being held.”

Postmaster: “Yes, I am the one you talked to, and our mail carrier is adamant that your dog is posing a threat to his safety. We take pride in our work here and will not force our carriers into unsafe conditions, ma’am. Unfortunately we will not be able to deliver anything to your house until the situation is resolved.”

Me: “But there is no situation! The dog has no way to get to him. I don’t understand how an elderly dog, almost an acre away, with two fences in between them, AND under constant supervision outside can pose a threat to your mailman.”

Postmaster: “We can’t send our people into unsafe environments.”

Me: ”Fine. How do you suppose we ‘fix’ this?”

Postmaster: “Well, would it be possible to bring the dog into the house at the time of delivery every day?”

Me: “…and how would that solve anything? She is already inside, usually and if she isn’t I am right with her. Besides, the mail comes at a different time each day.”

Postmaster: ”Well, the only other option would be to purchase a new mailbox and place it at the end of the road so the carrier is able to avoid the property altogether.”

(I am very upset that I have to spend my own money to fix a pretend problem but I am willing to do it in order to get my mail without having to drive all the way to the post office. I place the box in the exact spot suggested and wait. A few days later I receive another note in my new mailbox stating that I would have to once again begin picking up my mail at the post office due to “undeliverable due to dog.” I take pictures of my property showing exactly how far away our backyard is from our new mailbox, take them up to the post office, and show the postmaster.)

Me: *handing him pictures* “Can you please tell me why your employee is still refusing to deliver my mail even though the mailbox is literally two fences, two acres of land, and a house away from where we occasionally supervise our dog going to the bathroom?”

Post Master: “Yes, your dog is continually trying to bite and intimidate our mailman and we will not force him into a dangerous situation. You must fix the problem before we will deliver your mail.”

Me: ”But I FIXED the problem.”

Postmaster: “Not according to our mailman.”

(Realizing that I am getting nowhere I decide just to pick up my mail for the next week-and-a-half that we will be watching the dog. On the day that her owner picks her up I call and inform the postmaster that she is gone and request that our mail be delivered again. The next day I receive to my surprise a note that says that once again my mail is being held due to the dog. I understandably am in shock. I take the note to the post office to complain.)

Me: “Ok, this has gone on long enough. I called you yesterday and told you that the dog is gone. Plus, if he is so terrified of our dog, why can he muster the courage to place these notes in our mailbox everyday? Why can’t he just put the mail in with the note?”

Postmaster: “We will not force our carrier into a dangerous situation. Dogs are a hazard to us and it’s his right to refuse to deliver the mail if there is a dangerous dog posing a threat to him.”

Me: “I understand that. But there is no dog. She’s gone. We aren’t watching her anymore.”

Postmaster: ”I understand that, but we won’t make him deliver mail with a dangerous dog on the property.”

Me: “There IS NO DOG on the property!!

Postmaster: “Okay, ma’am, I’ll have a talk with him, but I won’t make him deliver to you if you can’t get your dog under control.”

Me: “You mean the dog that we don’t have anymore?”

Postmaster: “Yes.”

(I left but I didn’t feel too hopeful about my mail being delivered. I tried to wait for the mailman each day to call him out on his laziness and blatant lies but he came at a different time each day and I couldn’t seem to catch him. I finally had to contact the home office for my district; however, it’s been a month and it is still under investigation. Until then I am forced to drive to the post office before work each morning to pick up my mail that has “dog” written on it and to remind them that there is no dog. Through wind and snow, my a**.)

Also Needs To Enhance Their Sense Of Timing

| OK, USA | Technology

(I receive an email from my apartment complex’s management.)

Email: “Hi, [My Name],

We’re happy to inform you of an enhancement to our payment processing system. The new system enables you to pay rent online using a credit card, debit card, or direct debit from your bank account. Using our new system allows you to avoid the hassle of writing checks and gives you the convenience of paying 24 hours a day!”

Me: “This would be really useful information if I hadn’t already been using that system for more than a year…”

Breathing New Life Into The War Against Telemarketers

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees

(I am home sick from work, watching a movie, when the phone rings. The caller ID shows it to be a number that has been calling three or four times daily, for the last few months. Usually we just ignore the number, but this time, I decide to play a trick. I click the ‘Talk’ button to answer the call, then set the phone down on the table by the couch. It is about three feet away from me, and I can hear the caller speaking, but still watch my movie.)

Caller: “Hello, may I speak with [Husband], please?”

(I don’t answer, and keep watching the movie. She pauses, then tries again.)

Caller: “Hello, [Husband]? Are you there?”

(She then starts ranting.)

Caller: “I can hear you, ya know… I can hear you breathing.”

(I don’t answer, and keep watching the movie. There’s no way she could have heard me from three feet away.)

Caller: *raising her voice* “I can hear you on the phone, so it’s no use trying to pretend you’re not there. [HUSBAND], YOU’RE NOT A VERY QUIET BREATHER!” *click*

Related:
How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 25
How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 24
How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 23

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