Your Pill Popping Days Are Popped

| NC, USA | Employees, Health & Body

(My mother has taken me to the ER one night, for what we later learned was a double-whammy of an ovarian cyst and acute colitis, which manifested as a distressing amount of pain and bleeding. I’ve been in and out of the bathroom a few times, and upon each return find that the doctor came to see me while I was away. Finally, after two hours of having an IV line in but not being allowed to be hooked up to fluids or drink anything, the doctor enters the room. We tell him my symptoms.)

Doctor: “Well, that certainly seems unpleasant. It sounds like you’ve got what we call C. diff, which can be dangerous. Where do you work?”

Me: “I’m a full-time student at [State University]. I’m just home for Thanksgiving. I’ve got finals in a little over a week, actually.”

Doctor: “So, you don’t spend a lot of time in nursing homes? Doctor’s offices?”

Mom: “What exactly is this disease you’re talking about?”

Doctor: “Clostridium difficile is mostly found in the elderly and immune-compromised, usually picked up in nursing homes. Are you sure you haven’t been in close contact with the elderly?”

Me: “No, although my dorm isn’t particularly clean.”

(He hooks me up to the IV line, and after one final attempt to convince my mother that it is absolutely C. diff and that I am dying and need three different heavy-duty antibiotics, he left with no clear indication of what else was going to be done for me. Around three am, more than an hour since a nurse last checked in, we page the nurses to tell them we’re going home. After I get the IV removed, the nurse ducks out to get me a dose of antibiotics.)

Nurse: “Here’s your first dose of [Antibiotic #1] and [Antibiotic #2]. Make sure to fill those prescriptions in the morning, okay, hun?”

Me: *awkwardly stares at her, one arm through my sweater with the rest bunched around my neck, little cup of pills that she shoved in one hand and cup of water in the other*

Nurse: *realizing why I’m not immediately chugging the pills* “I’m not backwards, I swear!

(When I got in to my regular doctor’s office a few days later, they were shocked that appendicitis hadn’t been considered at all and rushed me off for an emergency CT scan!)

Double Whammy

| Mexico | Employees, Health & Body, Time

(I have had a minor surgery to extract a cyst on my armpit, which shouldn’t really hold me up for more than three to four hours since according to the nurses, it’s a slow day. My appointment is at 1:30 pm, and they have the prep done (clothes off, vitals taken, IV etc.) by 2:30. The nurse finally comes to get me to the surgery room and this happens:)

Nurse: “Name?”

Me: “[Full Name].”

Nurse: “Uh? Wait you’re not [Other Name]?”

Me: *starting to get a little worried* “…No, it’s [My Name].”

Nurse: “Oh, sorry. We have someone else ahead of you. Sorry.” *as she goes to once again put me on the waiting bed I remember something*

Me: “Wait. There wasn’t anyone before me, except that one man who was already being discharged.” *the previously mentioned name was clearly a women’s name*

Nurse: “Oh, yes. Unfortunately Doctor [Surgeon] scheduled both of you at the same time, so, we’re taking her first.”

Me: “Wait. This girl isn’t even prepped yet and we were double booked by the surgeon, and here I am ready for a minor, short surgery and you’re saying you can’t take me first?

(The nurse ignores my question and still has me waiting another two hours in between the prep of the other patient and her surgery. At the end of my surgery (around 6 pm) they still have me waiting another hour and a half for my discharge papers (even though they told me they would have it in 15 minutes). This exchange happens at the exit.)

Nurse: “There. You behaved very well. Now, take care.”

Me: “…Thanks. I hope no more double-bookings happen after today.”

Nurse: “Oh! That just something that [Surgeon] does all the time. We’re already used to it by now!”

(I left completely speechless. Well, now I know I’m never requesting the same doctor again!)

Needs An X-tra Ray

| Birmingham, England, UK | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring & Inattentive, Popular

(We had a REALLY icy winter one year and as I went up the road I slipped on some black ice and went flying. I could not move at all so my mother had to call an ambulance. The paramedic said my hip looked injured so I was taken to the hospital for x-rays. I am amazed when I see a doctor after very little time.)

Doctor: “Well, your x-ray looks okay, so let’s stand you up and get you walking. It is probably just a bit stiff and bruised.”

(I am bemused as the x-ray technician had said he thought something looked cracked but I did as she said and found I CANNOT take a step without being in agony.)

Doctor: “You look fine. Just go home and rest.”

(With that they send me off. I cannot walk and have to be carried in and spend the night on the sofa in a lot of pain. The next day we receive a call.)

Senior Doctor: “I am so sorry but we need you to come back immediately. On reviewing your x-ray I’ve found you have snapped your hip and need surgery.”

(I was speechless! But I have to admit the stay was one of the best I had had!)

Same Cast, Different Script

| DE, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring & Inattentive, Popular

(I have gotten a cast due to a broken wrist. It is too tight and the doctor is closed so we go to the ER. Note: I am 14.)

Doctor #1: “I don’t want to redo the cast so I’ll just loosen it.”

Mother: “It’s really hurting her. Are you sure you can’t just humor me and redo it?”

Doctor #1: “She’ll be fine! She’s just not used to a cast!”

(One week later, my cast hand is numb, white, cold, and I can’t feel it. Again we go back.)

Doctor #1: “She’s fine. I don’t see a problem.”

Mother: “Her hand is cold and swollen! I can see a problem!”

Doctor #1: “I’ll loosen the cast but I’m not doing another!”

(The head nurse comes in along with a different doctor…)

Nurse: “Hi, sweetie—” *looks at hand* “—OH, MY GOD! HER HAND IS AWFUL!”

Doctor #2: “Take this cast off NOW!”

Me and Mother: “YES, PLEASE!”

(Doctor #1 does so… Lo and behold, my hand is better.)

Doctor #1: “Oh, I thought you were faking. Never mind, then.”

(Doctor #1 walked off, leaving my mother, nurse, and me speechless.)

No Cause For Pregnant Pause

| TN, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Popular, Religion

(I have been having issues with nausea related to acid reflux for a few weeks, and over the last couple of days have been vomiting enough that I end up very dehydrated, feeling very weak, and with a pounding headache. Since I’m still too nauseated to drink enough to re-hydrate I end up deciding to go to the ER, hoping I can get some IV fluids before I get dangerously dehydrated. This conversation happens after I explain all this to the doctor.)

Doctor: “I see… is there any chance you could be pregnant?”

Me: “No. Not at all.”

Doctor: “Are you sure? I mean, young woman, has had nausea for several weeks…”

Me: “No, see, unless I majorly misunderstood something in Sex Ed, then I’m really very extra sure that there is no way I could possibly be pregnant. There are some prerequisite activities to being pregnant that I have not engaged in, so…”

Doctor: *catching on and smiling* “Well, you never know. I mean, there has been at least one documented case; they even wrote a whole book about it. And this IS a Catholic hospital!”