Error: Comprehension Not Found

| The Netherlands | Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

(After changing banks I’m trying to update my account details with my insurance company. Because their website is throwing an error about a contract being invalid I decide to create a ticket with their support staff:)

Me: “When I try to change my bank account number the website is giving me the following error: [Error]. How do I fix this?”

Support: “I am sorry to hear you are unable to set up monthly payments.” *insert copy/paste F.A.Q. item on how to set up monthly payments*

(If this was the only time it happened it would be one thing, but fully half of all my tickets ended up being misunderstood. I’ve even asked others to read my requests to make sure the problem isn’t in the way I formulate things, so I guess the reading comprehension of the average support clerk is just not very good? I have long since stopped asking more than one thing per email, because I’m lucky to get a correct answer to the first question but the other questions just get ignored.)

Burnin’ Down The House!

| USA | Crazy Requests, Employees, Money

(My husband calls our insurance company to discuss our home insurance because our coverage is too high compared to the value of our home.)

Employee: “The reason it’s so high is if something catastrophic happened to your home the first thing we would do is pay off your mortgage, then build you a new house.”

Husband: “Wait, what? If our house is destroyed we get a brand new house and no mortgage?”

Employee: “Yep.”

Husband: “That can’t be right; everyone would just burn down their houses! Can I talk to your supervisor?”

(The supervisor gets on the line and my husband repeats the conversation so far.)

Supervisor: “No, that’s not right. If we did that everyone would just burn down their houses!”

Husband: “That’s what I said!”

Supervisor: “We will have a talk to that associate about this. Now, let’s take a look at your policy.”

Karma Ensuring The Insuring

| CT, USA | Awesome Workers

(My father has just started disability and can no longer work, let alone as a plumber. Just for starters he’s on oxygen, has multiple broken vertebrae, and the drugs his doctor has put him on make it impossible for him to remain upright more than a few minutes at a time. One day, he receives a call.)

Caller: “Is this Mister [Father]?”

Father: “Yes.”

Caller: “You don’t know me, but you did some work for a Mrs. [Name] a few years back. You helped her, no questions asked, when no other plumber would since she couldn’t pay. And then when she was finally able to pay, you slashed her bill in half since she was having money troubles. She recommended you to all of her friends and all of them have nothing but the best to say about you.”

Father: “I’m glad they liked my service, but I’m sorry, I no longer work. I can recommend some guys to you, though.”

Caller: “Oh, I know you no longer work. You see, I’m an investigator for [Insurance Company]. I just thought you might want to know that they’ll be having an investigator shadow you next week. I thought you were a decent enough person that you deserved a heads-up.”

Father: “Well, that… that’s incredibly kind of you.”

Caller: “After what you did for my mother, it was the least I could do.”

Father: “Thank you so much.”

Caller: “You’re welcome. Oh. And by the way, have your wife take down all the pictures of you on your motorcycle from her social media. They’ll be looking at that, too.” *click*

You’re A Total Pain(killer)

, | WA, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Lazy/Unhelpful

(I work at a medical clinic, and am on the phone talking to a patient’s insurance about getting a medication authorized, as she has failed several meds for that particular problem already. I have told him all about the past meds, which is all he needed to know. Bear in mind that the insurance department that handles these authorizations is the pharmacy department, and the ones I talk to are pharmacists, pharmacy techs, or otherwise med-savvy folks. Usually.)

Insurance Representative: “After review, that medication is going to be denied.”

Me: “What?”

Insurance Representative: “She has not tried two of our preferred formulary alternatives.”

Me: “Just what do you want her to try after she has failed FOUR meds for this?”

Insurance Representative: “She needs to try at least two NSAIDs, and you only mentioned one. She has to try…” *rattles off list of their preferred NSAID pain relievers*

Me: “Whoa, whoa. Did you just say ibuprofen?”

Insurance Representative: “That’s right.”

Me: “I told you she’s tried Advil…”

Insurance Representative: *flustered* “But… you said Advil. You didn’t say ibuprofen!”

Me: “Ibuprofen is the generic of Advil…”

Insurance Representative: “You didn’t say ibuprofen.” *types on his computer* “Ibuprofen is the generic of Motrin.”

Me: *facepalm* “They both are ibuprofen…”

(In the end, her medication was approved, and I know which medical insurance I’m never going to use!)

Very Slow Death Of A Salesman

| NY, USA | Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I have just finished a long and painful conversation trying to get a quote from an insurance salesman. The entire time he was very slow, messed up a lot of his script and had to repeat from the beginning, and spent at least 30 seconds after each question saying “uhmm… okay… one second…” I am incredibly frustrated and receive a very high price quote by the end. I try to be polite as possible.)

Salesman: “So let’s begin the process of making you a part of our family here.”

Me: “Thank you for your help, but I am going to call a few other places and think about my options. I will call you back when I make my decision.”

Salesman: “No problem. Do you have any other questions before you go?”

Me: “No, thank you. You’ve been very helpful.”

Salesman: “Okay, have a great day. Goodbye.”

(We hang up. 15 seconds later the phone rings and my mother picks up.)

Mom: “Hello… Yes, this is her mother… No, but thank you. I think she is good for now… Thank you. You, too.” *hangs up phone and looks at me* “That was the salesman. He said he accidentally disconnected and wanted to know if you had any more questions.”

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