Burnin’ Down The House!

| USA | Crazy Requests, Employees, Money

(My husband calls our insurance company to discuss our home insurance because our coverage is too high compared to the value of our home.)

Employee: “The reason it’s so high is if something catastrophic happened to your home the first thing we would do is pay off your mortgage, then build you a new house.”

Husband: “Wait, what? If our house is destroyed we get a brand new house and no mortgage?”

Employee: “Yep.”

Husband: “That can’t be right; everyone would just burn down their houses! Can I talk to your supervisor?”

(The supervisor gets on the line and my husband repeats the conversation so far.)

Supervisor: “No, that’s not right. If we did that everyone would just burn down their houses!”

Husband: “That’s what I said!”

Supervisor: “We will have a talk to that associate about this. Now, let’s take a look at your policy.”


Karma Ensuring The Insuring

| CT, USA | Awesome Workers

(My father has just started disability and can no longer work, let alone as a plumber. Just for starters he’s on oxygen, has multiple broken vertebrae, and the drugs his doctor has put him on make it impossible for him to remain upright more than a few minutes at a time. One day, he receives a call.)

Caller: “Is this Mister [Father]?”

Father: “Yes.”

Caller: “You don’t know me, but you did some work for a Mrs. [Name] a few years back. You helped her, no questions asked, when no other plumber would since she couldn’t pay. And then when she was finally able to pay, you slashed her bill in half since she was having money troubles. She recommended you to all of her friends and all of them have nothing but the best to say about you.”

Father: “I’m glad they liked my service, but I’m sorry, I no longer work. I can recommend some guys to you, though.”

Caller: “Oh, I know you no longer work. You see, I’m an investigator for [Insurance Company]. I just thought you might want to know that they’ll be having an investigator shadow you next week. I thought you were a decent enough person that you deserved a heads-up.”

Father: “Well, that… that’s incredibly kind of you.”

Caller: “After what you did for my mother, it was the least I could do.”

Father: “Thank you so much.”

Caller: “You’re welcome. Oh. And by the way, have your wife take down all the pictures of you on your motorcycle from her social media. They’ll be looking at that, too.” *click*


You’re A Total Pain(killer)

, | WA, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Lazy/Unhelpful

(I work at a medical clinic, and am on the phone talking to a patient’s insurance about getting a medication authorized, as she has failed several meds for that particular problem already. I have told him all about the past meds, which is all he needed to know. Bear in mind that the insurance department that handles these authorizations is the pharmacy department, and the ones I talk to are pharmacists, pharmacy techs, or otherwise med-savvy folks. Usually.)

Insurance Representative: “After review, that medication is going to be denied.”

Me: “What?”

Insurance Representative: “She has not tried two of our preferred formulary alternatives.”

Me: “Just what do you want her to try after she has failed FOUR meds for this?”

Insurance Representative: “She needs to try at least two NSAIDs, and you only mentioned one. She has to try…” *rattles off list of their preferred NSAID pain relievers*

Me: “Whoa, whoa. Did you just say ibuprofen?”

Insurance Representative: “That’s right.”

Me: “I told you she’s tried Advil…”

Insurance Representative: *flustered* “But… you said Advil. You didn’t say ibuprofen!”

Me: “Ibuprofen is the generic of Advil…”

Insurance Representative: “You didn’t say ibuprofen.” *types on his computer* “Ibuprofen is the generic of Motrin.”

Me: *facepalm* “They both are ibuprofen…”

(In the end, her medication was approved, and I know which medical insurance I’m never going to use!)


Very Slow Death Of A Salesman

| NY, USA | Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I have just finished a long and painful conversation trying to get a quote from an insurance salesman. The entire time he was very slow, messed up a lot of his script and had to repeat from the beginning, and spent at least 30 seconds after each question saying “uhmm… okay… one second…” I am incredibly frustrated and receive a very high price quote by the end. I try to be polite as possible.)

Salesman: “So let’s begin the process of making you a part of our family here.”

Me: “Thank you for your help, but I am going to call a few other places and think about my options. I will call you back when I make my decision.”

Salesman: “No problem. Do you have any other questions before you go?”

Me: “No, thank you. You’ve been very helpful.”

Salesman: “Okay, have a great day. Goodbye.”

(We hang up. 15 seconds later the phone rings and my mother picks up.)

Mom: “Hello… Yes, this is her mother… No, but thank you. I think she is good for now… Thank you. You, too.” *hangs up phone and looks at me* “That was the salesman. He said he accidentally disconnected and wanted to know if you had any more questions.”


| UT, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Money

(I am twenty-three at this time, and have finished my bachelor’s degree. I am calling different car insurance companies for quotes before making a decision. I make it clear at the beginning of each call that I am only looking for quotes and am not going to be making any decisions today.)

Insurance Agent: “And let me add that student discount.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; I thought I’d told you, but I must not have. I have finished my bachelor’s degree and I am not in school at the time.”

Insurance Agent: “That’s okay. You’re twenty-three; no one will question it.”

Me: “Please, that’s dishonest. I do not want the student discount.”

Insurance Agent: “No one will question it.”

Me: “I’m not worried about getting caught; I’m worried about being dishonest. Please, do not put the student discount in my quote.”

Insurance Agent: “Sweetie. I’m not tricking you. It’s not going to go up later.”

(By the way, calling me “sweetie” turns me off from you immediately. I’m twenty-three, but I’m still an adult, and your customer. And “sweetie,” especially with that tone is demeaning. I decide that even if I go with this insurance company, I will not be doing what I usually do, which is remember the name of the agent who gave me the quote so that they get the commission on the sale.)

Me: “I don’t think you’re tricking me. I just don’t want to be dishonest. Take it off.”

Insurance Agent: “Fine.”

(We continue with the quote process and then at the end…)

Insurance Agent: “So, are you interested in that?”

Me: “Maybe, but as I said, I am not making any decisions today.”

Insurance Agent: “Sweetheart. If you don’t decide to buy this, then I don’t get paid.”

Me: “And frankly at this point, I don’t much care. Thank you, and have a nice day.”


Dear Readers! You’ll notice that this story doesn’t yet have a title. That’s because we’d like to invite you to create one yourself! Please place all suggestions in the comment’s box (please keep it PG!), and the funniest/cleverest title wins. Thanks!

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