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Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I often get bronchitis, and I’ve come to recognize the symptoms. On this particular day, I’ve been coughing so hard that I’ve pulled a muscle in my back, and I haven’t been able to sleep. So, off to the walk-in clinic I go.)

Walk-In Doctor: *after barely glancing at me* “You’re fine. Just get some fluids and rest.”

Me: “Um, I’d love to get some rest, but I can’t sleep. Is there anything at all you can prescribe for me?”

Walk-In Doctor: “Not necessary. You’ll be okay in a day or two.”

(The following day, I was so ill that I thought I was going to pass out. I went back to the walk-in clinic and happened to get the same doctor.)

Walk-In Doctor: “You’re back?”

Me: “Yes. I’m much worse than yesterday.”

Walk-In Doctor: *listens to my chest* “Oh, wow, you’ve got a very bad infection.” *starts writing a prescription*

Me: “You don’t say.”

Walk-In Doctor: *defensively* “You didn’t have it yesterday!”

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Being A Good Sport (Drink)

| MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners

(The plasma donation center where I work has been experiencing a saline shortage and as a result has a very strict rule about donors drinking a sports drink before leaving. I’m manning the front desk when I see a man leaving without even touching his drink. I’m a female in my late 20s.)

Me: “Sir, you have to finish that before you leave.”

Manager: “Nah, I’m fine.”

Me: “Sir, it’s the policy.”

Manager: *getting louder and advancing slightly* “What are you going to do if I don’t? Spank me?”

Me: *in my most perfect deadpan* “Not for free, sir.”

(He burst out laughing and finished his drink without complaint.)

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Calling Is Just Not Their Calling

| Cleveland, OH, USA | Employees, Health & Body

(My doctor’s office is supposed to let me know when my CPAP machine is ready to pick up. After not hearing from them for a week, I call to follow up.)

Me: “Do you have an update on when my CPAP will be ready to pick up?”

Receptionist: “It’s here already.”

Me: “Oh, no one called to tell me!”

Receptionist: “We were going to mail you a letter.”

Me: “Um, why? Why wouldn’t you call me?”

Receptionist: “I don’t know. That’s just what we do.”

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Unrealistic Autistic

| NL, Canada | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring & Inattentive, Popular

(My nine-year-old son is a very well-behaved boy and quite smart, which often gets him labeled a “nerd” at school. After a particularly bad bullying incident, I decide to take him to a psychiatrist so he can discuss it with an expert and get some tips on how to cope with bullies.)

Psychiatrist: “Hello. What seems to be the problem?”

(My son is understandably nervous to admit what’s going on and I answer for him.)

Me: “He is getting bullied at school and it’s gotten to the point where there’s nothing I can do about it. I have tried everything I can to help.”

Psychiatrist: “Okay, follow me.”

(She leads my son into a playroom where I and the psychiatrist will observe him through a one-way mirror and then the psychiatrist will enter the room and interview him later. My son gets a book off a shelf and reads it.)

Psychiatrist: “There are so many toys and he wants to read?!”

Me: “Yeah, he reads all the time.”

(My son finishes the book and the psychiatrist enters the room to speak to him. She then goes up to me as if she has something urgent to tell me.)

Psychiatrist: “I’m sorry, but your son is autistic.”

(It should be noted that I’m in college as a psychology major and know my son doesn’t meet the criteria for the diagnosis.)

Me: “What makes you think that?”

Psychiatrist: “He’s very polite and quiet.”

Me: “I’m certain that he isn’t autistic.”

Psychiatrist: “But he said he likes math! I’ll prove he’s autistic. People with the disorder don’t like loud noises.”

(She sneaks up behind my son and screams in his ear which, predictably, scares him.)

Psychiatrist: “See, he’s autistic.”

Me: “My son isn’t autistic, and even if he was, I’m still shocked by how unprofessional you are. Did you even discuss bullying with him?”

Psychiatrist: “This is more important than bullies, and besides, his disorder is most likely the reason he’s being picked on in the first place.”

(I ended up taking my son to a different psychiatrist two-and-a-half hours away, but much better. The new doctor told my son how to deal with bullying and I have noticed he is much happier now. I told this story to the new psychiatrist, who knew her and said she has a reputation for diagnosing anyone she thinks is too much of a goody-two-shoes as autistic.)

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