You’re Insecure, We Know What For

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Bigotry, Musical Mayhem

(It’s my dad’s birthday and for reasons I can’t understand he loves One Direction. I decide to buy him a CD and this happens when I’m at the checkout. I’m a young female.)

Employee: “You’re all the same; I bet you only like them because they’re hot. It would be nice to see someone who truly appreciates music.”

Me: “Actually, I hate One Direction. It’s for my dad.”

Employee: “You’re lying. That’s girl stuff; no man would be caught dead listening to that s***. I bet you’ve never even heard of [he lists several somewhat obscure alternative bands].”

Me: “I have actually seen every one of those bands live and own at least one album from each of them.”

Employee: “Prove it.”

(I show him pictures I have on my phone of every concert I’ve been to AND a video of my dad freaking out over a 1D t-shirt and trying to convince me to try it on. The employee looked like he was about to pass out after seeing that.)

Just Google It…

| Annapolis, MD, USA | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests, Technology

(I work at a guitar store as the business manager, which mostly means I keep track of the money and sign people up for lessons with our music school. Although I am the only female employee of the store, my coworkers lovingly call me “Tech Support” as I seem to be the only one that is ever able to fix the printers, computers, and cash registers whenever they aren’t working properly.)

Me: *read over my assigned list of tasks for the day from my boss, notice a weird assignment, and call my boss*

Me: “I have a question about one of my tasks for today.”

Boss: “Which one?”

Me: “The one where you ask me to ‘Fix Google.’”

Boss: “Our Google Spreadsheets aren’t working correctly right now. When I open one it opens eight additional tabs in my browser. When [Coworker] opens one it freezes and then shuts down his browser. I need you to fix it, since you’re our Tech Support.”

Me: “I appreciate your faith in my technical abilities, but everything you’re listing is handled through Google directly, and since I don’t work for Google…”

Boss: “Yeah but I’m sure you can figure it out.”

Me: *face-palm*

(Long story short, I spent over an hour on the phone with a Google Help Desk person trying to figure out why this kept happening. Turns out my boss kept double clicking the link impatiently while waiting for it to load, causing 8 tabs to open of the same spreadsheet. As for my coworker, it’s difficult for a spreadsheet to load when you have 18 other tabs currently open.)

As Long As You’re Rockin’

| Saskatoon, SK, Canada | Musical Mayhem

(I’m 11, doing inventory in a music store that belongs to a friend of the family. I’m working with a friend going over individual sheet music.)

Friend: *pulls out Jailhouse Rock*

Me: *pulls out Schoolhouse Rock*

Both: “Same thing.”

Pre-Order Disorder

| Maple, ON, Canada | Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive, Musical Mayhem

(I go into a CD store to preorder an album, something I’ve done at this and other locations several times.)

Cashier: *finishing process* “Okay, we’ll have your copy waiting for you on the release date. You can come in and pick it up that day and we’ll call you to confirm that it’s in.”

(Fast forward to the release day. Six pm rolls around and still no call. Thinking I’ve been missed on the call list, I decide to stop in.)

Me: “Hi, I have a preorder for [Album] under [My Name].”

Cashier: *checking preorders* “I can’t find it. Did we call you?”

Me: “Honestly, no. But I figured you may have gotten busy and didn’t get a chance. It’s not a problem, though.”

Cashier: “If we didn’t call then it isn’t in yet.”

Me: “Okay, well, I was told it would be in today. Do you have a sense of when it might be in?”

Cashier: *doesn’t make an effort to find out* “No, we’ll just call you when it comes in.”

(I wasn’t angry or upset when I came in, but after that I am a little ticked. I decide to look around, if only to mellow out a little. I happen across a display with at least 12 copies of the CD I am there to pick up.)

Me: *sets CD on the counter* “Hi. You had said these weren’t in yet.”

Cashier: “They’re not. We’ll call you when they come in”

Me: “So that display over there isn’t for sale yet?”

Cashier: “I don’t know, but if we haven’t called you then it isn’t in.”

Me: “Well, then, just ring me up for this copy and cancel my preorder.”

Cashier: “I don’t know if I can even do that but I can try.”

(Lo and behold, everything went smoothly. I got the call five days later that my preorder had come in.)

The Sum Of What’s Wrong With Humanity

| Brighton, England, UK | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

Me: “How much are these CD cases, please?”

Shop Assistant: “40 pence each.”

Me: “I’ll take ten, please.”

(The shop assistant pulls out calculator. I stand there in disbelief with £4 ready in my hand.)

Shop Assistant: “That will be £4, please.”

(I hand over £4, thank him, and turn to go.)

Shop Assistant: “Hang on, I may have got that wrong…”

(I turn around in utter disbelief, shake my head once, and leave. My friend is waiting outside.)

Friend: “What happened? You look weird.”

(I explain.)

Friend: “We need a coffee to restore our faith in humanity.”

Me: “Should we order separately… just in case they need a calculator for two coffees?”

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