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Brains Are Not An Ingredient

| NY, USA | Coworkers, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

Coworker: “Man, I’m so hungry.”

Me: “Do you want to try one of my peanut butter and jelly bars? I made them at home from scratch.”

Coworker: “Hmm… what’s in it?”

Me: “Peanut butter and jelly.”

Coworker: “But what’s IN it?”

Me: “It’s basically a peanut butter crumble with a layer of jelly in the middle.”

Coworker: “What’s INNN it though?”

Me: “Peanut butter. Jelly. Flour. Sugar. Eggs. Butter. I really don’t know what else to tell you.”

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Very Hard (Drive) Music

| Jackson, MS, USA | Family & Kids, Technology

(I’ve recently started writing full-time for my dad’s company, and am busily plugging content into our new website.)

Dad: “Hey, looks like you’ve got the CMS all figured out.” *pause* “Are you hearing that noise?”

Me: “What noise?”

Dad: “It’s sort of quiet, coming from your computer…”

Me: “Oh! That’s just my music player!”

Dad: “Oh, thank goodness. I heard it buzzing and sort of clicking, I thought it was your hard drive failing.”

Me: “Nah… it’s the EDM station. It’s supposed to sound like that.”

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Needs To Give Them The Skinny On Healthy Bodies

| Paris, France | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(There has been a lot of changes at my office lately. I’m helping coworkers: we’re putting files into cardboard boxes, and then we move these boxes into a room. I’m a skinny 36-year-old female. Coworker #1 is a male in his early fifties. We’re tired and Coworker #2 arrives with croissants for everyone.)

Coworker #2: “Let’s have a break!”

(I’m very hungry so I grab a chocolate croissant and I start eating. Coworker #1 frowns.)

Coworker #1: “[My Name], you’re going to put on weight if you eat this!”

Me: “Uh… I’m skinny!”

Coworker #1: “No, you’re not skinny!”

Me: “Well, what’s wrong with eating?”

(I’m hoping that Coworker #3 is not going to enter the room now, as she’s a gorgeous plus-size 20-year-old girl who’s very nice with me and doesn’t do diets. I don’t want her to hear such stupid fat-shaming stuff!)

Coworker #1: “It’s easy to put on weight, you know! Be careful!”

Me: “I’m old enough to know what I’m eating, thank you very much!”

(Coworker #3 and I had another croissant together one hour later. It was delicious!)

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