Worming Their Way Into Your Bad Books

| Saskatoon, SK, Canada | Pets & Animals

(I’m buying superworms for my salamanders. The pet store has a large display of ferrets near the front.)

Me: *to store employee* “Excuse me, could I feed a worm to the ferrets?”

Employee: “I… Let me check with my manager.”

Me: *to Manager* “I’d like to feed the ferrets one of these worms.”

Manager: “Uh, no. Ferrets don’t eat worms!”

Me: *to my friend* “What does she think wild ferrets eat, ferret food?!”

(I looked it up. Ferrets can eat, and most of them love, superworms.)


Unable To Resume The Résumé

| ON, Canada | Job Seekers

(I’m applying for a job at a large pet store chain. I am very qualified for the position. Three weeks after handing in my resume I get a call from the store, right before I’m about to go out of province for a week for a family wedding.)

Manager: “Hello! I’m calling about your resume. I read it over and frankly, you are exactly what we’re looking for! I’d love for you to come in for an interview. I’m actually away for the next three days but could you come in Thursday?”

Me: “Thank you so much. I’m so glad to hear from you! Unfortunately, I will be out of province for a week. Is there any way we can do a phone interview?”

Manager: “Oh, no worries at all! Just give us a call when you get back. We’d really like to interview you before we offer this job to anyone else.”

Me: *getting excited as this job is in my field of interest and would be good experience* “Thank you! I’ll call you back as soon as I get back to Ontario!”

(The day I get back I give the store a call. I’m informed that the manager is off sick but they’ll pass along that I had called. I wait a day or two and hear nothing so call again. This time she’s there.)

Manager: *sounding slightly annoyed* “Thanks for following up. I was about to call you.”

Me: “Of course. I hope you’re feeling better! I’m back in town now and I was hoping we could still set up that interview!”

Manager: “I have to rearrange my schedule a bit; being off sick has set me back. I’ll call you back with a day and time! If you don’t hear from me in a week give me a call!”

Me: *thinking a week is a long time but still optimistic* “Great, thanks!”

(A week went by and nothing, so I called as requested. I’m told she’s sick again. I call a few days later and am told she was busy and they’d pass on the message. This continued for another week. She never called me and by that point I stop calling. I get that my going out of province probably put me out of the running for the job, but she could have told me that rather than string me along. Luckily I got another job shortly after that was seasonal but also a HUGE boost to my resume!)


Giving The Store A Voice

| ON, Canada | Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive

(The phone rings.)

Me: “Hi there, thank you for calling [My Name]. This is [Store] speaking? How may I help you? Wait… no… Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name] speaking.”

Caller: *laughing* “Don’t worry. This is [Caller] from [Other Location]. You could have said it was Big Bird and it would have been fine!”


The Purr-fect Diet

| ON, Canada | Employees, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

Cashier: *rings me through* “We’re actually having a giveaway today on a new human-grade cat food!” *turns around to load me up with some cans*

Me: “Are those paté?”

Cashier: *turns around with a can in her hand* “No.”

Me: “Then I can’t take them.”

Cashier: *visibly upset for no reason* “What?! Why?!”

Me: “None of my cats would eat it.”

Cashier: “What are you talking about?” *goes into sales pitch about how it uses ingredients so even humans can eat it*

Me: “I still can’t take it.”

Cashier: “Well why not!”

Me: “Because I have one cat that’s on a strict hypoallergenic diet, one cat that just licks all the liquid from the wet food and leaves the rest, one cat that refuses to eat anything that isn’t duck flavored, and one cat that had to have her teeth removed so she can only have paté cat food.”

Cashier: *stares and blinks a little bit* “Oh. Well, this cat food uses ingredients that humans can eat. If we opened up this can we could both eat it.”

Me: *very uninterested* “Cool…”

Cashier: *triumphantly* “Well, your cats don’t know what they’re missing!”


Praying For Good Service

| Georgetown, TX, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Pets & Animals

(I have just finished a short consultation with an employee, right next to the door to what I assume is the back area. I am wearing a T-shirt with a stylized praying mantis on it, and the mantis looks vaguely like it is about to hug someone and then eat their face.)

Employee #1: “…so I’d definitely recommend this or this food for your fish.”

Employee #2: *walks out of back area and sees me* “Dude, your shirt is scary.”

Employee #1: *shooing motion* “Dude! Be polite to the customers!”

Me: “Sure is! Thanks!”

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