Out-Of-Controlled Substance, Part 2

| WI, USA | Employees, Health & Body

(I am at the pharmacy, picking up several medications. To pick up any medications, you have to give the address they have on file. Further, one of the medications is Schedule II, which means I need to have my ID. I pull out my ID and have it ready, waiting for the pharmacy tech to ask for it.)

Tech: “All right, your total is [price]. You can scan your card now!”

Me: *thinking they may have forgotten one of my medications* “Um… is my [controlled substance] in there?”

Tech: “Oh! Yeah, it is! I’ll need to see your ID.”

Me: *hands over the ID*

Tech: *finishes ringing me up, and starts handing me the bag, before pausing* “Oh, what’s your address?”

Me: “[Address].”

Tech: “All right, here you go!”

(As I left, I remembered I’m usually supposed to give my date of birth as well. Kinda takes the “controlled” out of controlled substances when I could’ve gotten it with nothing but a name… I’m just glad I caught it before the person got in big trouble.)

Out-Of-Controlled Substance

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Rude & Risque

(A few years ago, I was with a friend at a local pharmacy. She was looking for water-based lubricant, but could find none on the shelf. I told her that she should ask the pharmacist, since they would know if they stocked the item, and if not they could call other stores to find out. She expressed nervousness that the pharmacist would judge her, and I assured her that it would be entirely unprofessional to do such a thing, but that if it bothered her I would go and ask in her stead. After waiting in line the following exchanged took place.)

Me: “Hello, could you tell me if this, or one of your affiliated stores, carries water-based lubricant?”

Young Pharmacist: “What?”

Me: “Water-based lubricant.”

Young Pharmacist: *looks uneasy* “Why do you need it?”

Me: *confused at the question* “Personal use.”

Young Pharmacist: *becoming irritated* “I need to know exactly what you plan to do with it!”

Me: “Why?”

Young Pharmacist: *suddenly looking upset* “Because it is a controlled substance!”

Me: *thinks he is joking* “No, it’s not.”

Young Pharmacist: *more upset* “Yes, it is!”

Me: *now getting irritated at this very unprofessional behavior* “No! It’s not!”

Young Pharmacist: *now irate* “Yes, it is, and unless you tell me what you plan to do with it I will not sell it to you!”

Me: *now very irate* “For f******!”

Young Pharmacist: *now suddenly pale and uneasy looking* “What?”

Me: *still upset* “For f******! Probably with sex toys involved as well! Anal and vaginal fucking! Now, do you have it or not?!”

Young Pharmacist: *looking very uncomfortable* “I’ll need to get my manager to approve that.” *runs to the backs and has a heated sounding conversation just out of earshot*

(At this point, an older woman who is clearly the head pharmacist comes up to the counter, looking clearly annoyed to be pulled away from whatever she was doing.)

Older Pharmacist: “Hello, I am the head pharmacist here. Would you explain to me what you need the controlled substance for?”

Me: “F******! Sex! Fornication! Probably involving sex toys since certain ones melt if you use the wrong personal lubricant.”

Older Pharmacist: *looking confused* “Personal lubricant is not a controlled substance…”

Me: “That’s what I told him!” *points to Younger Pharmacist* “But he refused to believe me, then demanded to know what I was using it for, then dragged you up here, and now here we are!”

Older Pharmacist: *looks at Younger Pharmacist* “Seriously? You seriously dragged me up here for this?” *turns to the computer* “What kind were you looking for?”

Me: “I need a water-based lubricant; nothing fancy. Do you or any other store in the chain close by carry it?”

(The older pharmacist types for a while, and the younger pharmacist looks uncomfortable.)

Older Pharmacist: “I’m not seeing anything; you probably have to get it online.”

Me: “Thank you very much for all of your help.”

(As I turn to walk back to my friend I hear this exchange between the Older and Younger Pharmacists.)

Older Pharmacist: “If you are going to work in this field you have to stop being this way about sexual and reproductive items or you will not last long.”

(I went back to my friend, informed them of the outcome, and we left. I am so happy that they dealt with me instead of her, as she would have left the pharmacy in tears with no answers.)

Like They Were Born Yesterday

| CA, USA | Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I go to the pharmacy I have been going to for the last three years. I am on their computer system, which is listed by name and birthdate. My doctor’s office tells me to pick up my prescription. I usually don’t have any problems.)

Me: “Hello, I have a prescription for myself. My name is [First Name] [Last Name] and my birthday is January 20, 195X.”

Clerk: “Okay, what’s your name?”

Me: “[First Name] [Last Name].”

Clerk: “How do you spell your last name?”

Me: *spells last name*

Clerk: “Your birthdate?”

Me: “January 20, 195X.”

Clerk: “January 15, 195X?”

Me: “January 20.”

Clerk: “January 15?”

Me: “No, January 20.”

Clerk: “January 15?”

Me: “January 20. Two-Zero. Twenty.”

Clerk: “Oh, I keep on thinking you said fifteen. Okay, January 20, 2015?”

Me: “Do I look one year old to you?”

That Request Doesn’t Have A Leg To Stand On

| MD, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Health & Body

(A customer had called our store about a discrepancy with a price from her insurance. The pharmacist thinks he found the issue and is relaying the information to the customer.)

Pharmacist: “All right, cross your fingers and toes and hope that this works!”

(I didn’t think much of it and went back to my work. When he hangs up, he starts laughing.)

Me: “What’s up?”

Pharmacist: “You know the customer I was on the phone with? Mrs. [Name]?”

Me: “Yeah?”

Pharmacist: “I told her to cross her fingers and toes that her insurance would work.”

Me: “What about it?”

Pharmacist: “I just remembered she doesn’t have legs!”

Your Pick’N’Mix Selection Is Depressing

| Blyth, England, UK | Employees, Health & Body

(I’m in the pharmacy waiting to pick up my regular prescription, which is two-month’s worth of  anti-depressant. Unfortunately, the pharmacy only has one box left of my dosage that day, so I’m about to ask for a ticket to come back tomorrow to finish my order, when the woman serving me – not the chemist – leaves me dumbfounded. )

Worker: “Oh, we only have one box left; do you just want to try something else?”

Me: *after a couple of stunned seconds* “Um, what?”

Worker: “Since we only have one box left, do you want to just take something else?”

Me: *after another few seconds of staring blankly at her* “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I can’t just mix and match anti-depressants like that. Doesn’t sound like a good idea.”

Worker: “Oh. Right, then.”

(I was still stunned when the actual chemist came over to give me my medication and the ticket to pick up my other box I was owed. You would think an employee handling medication would be aware switching up and mixing anti-depressants like that would do more harm than good!)

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