The Sub Is Sinking

| USA | Employees, Food & Drink

Me: “Can you add just a tad of barbeque sauce to my sub?”

Sour Faced Worker: *snatches sauce and proceeds to engulf my sub with it* “More?”

Me: “…”

(Always happens with her.)

Made A Whoopie Whoopsie

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(My dad and I are visiting family in Toronto. We are going to get food and drinks for everyone. We are the only customers there.)

Dad: “Hi, I want two small black coffees, a cream cheese bagel, and uh–” *looks at me* “What do you want?”

Me: “A chocolate whoopie pie doughnut, please.”

Dad: “…and a chocolate doughnut.”

Cashier: “Okay.”

(I’m watching the screen that shows the order and notice she typed the wrong doughnut.)

Me: “Um… did you tell her I wanted a chocolate whoopie pie doughnut?”

Cashier: *annoyed* “I know what you want. I just typed in the wrong thing.”

(My dad and I know how easy it is to make a mistake, so we don’t say anything. A few minutes later:)

Cashier: “Okay, here’s what you ordered…” *puts everything but the doughnut and a coffee on the counter*

Dad: “Um…. you forgot the doughnut and coffee.”

Cashier: “Oh! I’ll go get them.” *takes a long time to get the coffee*

Me: “You, forgot the whoopie pie doughnut.”

Cashier: *annoyed sigh, gives me a box*

Dad: *leaving the store* “This coffee tastes weird. So… how’s your doughnut?”

Me: *looks in box* “They gave me the wrong doughnut.”

Those Fish Are Wild, Make No Bones About It

| WI, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Food & Drink

(Our server brings my partner and me our food.)

Server: “Oh, and just so you know, the salmon is wild caught, so you’ll have to be careful to avoid the bones.”

(After our server has left:)

Partner: “I like the implication that farm-raised fish wouldn’t have bones.”

Songs About Weekends Do Not Apply To Retail

| Twin Cities, MN, USA | Bosses & Owners, Musical Mayhem

(It’s near closing at my job and I’m listening to music and singing with it as I’m finishing up stocking. As a side note, it happens to be Sunday, which is usually a busy and hectic day for us, whereas Mondays tend to be slow and is also my day off.)

Me: *singing to the song ‘Manic Monday’* “It’s just another Manic Monday.”

Manager: “Oh, I know this song!” *starts singing with me*

Both Of Us: “I wish it were Sunday, cause that’s my fun day—”

Manager: *suddenly not singing* “I don’t know, [My Name]. I don’t think I like Sundays better. Those seem more manic to me.”

Me: *laughing* “I know! Monday is actually MY fun day!”

That Career Is History

| Amsterdam, The Netherlands | History, Job Seekers

(I apply for several jobs in restaurants. I receive a phone call from one such place.)

Caller: “I see on your resume that you studied history, so I’m curious. Why aren’t you looking for a job in that field?”

Me: “Like what?”

Caller: “Ehm… well, I don’t really know that.”

Me: “That’s exactly the problem.”

(I was already happy that she didn’t suggest museums or teaching, which I all heard thousands of times before.)

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