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| VA, USA | Unfiltered

(This exchange happens as I’m leaving after a long shift, and turning the kitchen over to the owner and another coworker.)

Me: “Alright, I’m finally leaving. See you tomorrow, [Coworker], [Owner]. Oh, yeah, [Owner], don’t forget that pasta ball in the fridge!”

Owner: “What would be the proper attire for a Pasta Ball, anyway?”

Me: *pause* A bow tie.” *waggles eyebrows like Groucho Marx*

Owner: *snort*

Coworker: “Go home, [My Name]. That was terrible.”

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Muffin Flop

| PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink

(We head into a little cafe for breakfast. In the bakery display case next to the cash register is a basket full of muffins.)

Me: “I’ll take a coffee, and a blueberry muffin.”

Waiter: “We don’t have blueberry muffins.”

Me: “Oh, well, chocolate chip, or whatever those muffins are.”

Waiter: “What muffins?”

Me: “The ones in the case here.”

Waiter: “Those are just display.”

Me: “Oh. Wow! They look real!”

Waiter: “Well, they are. We got them in this morning from the bakery.”

Me: “Wait, you got fresh muffins on display but not for sale.”

Waiter: “Yeah, we take them home at the end of the day.”

(At this point, I think I’m being trolled, so when I see a supervisor come in, I pull her aside.)

Me: “Excuse me; I tried to buy a muffin earlier…”

Supervisor: “We don’t sell muffins.”

Me: “That’s what the employee said, but I was confused because your bakery case has muffins in it.”

Supervisor: “Those are display muffins. We get them in every day.”

Me: “But you don’t sell them?”

Supervisor: “No. Don’t go leaving another Yelp review complaining. I’m sick of everyone angry about us not having muffins.”

Me: “Maybe don’t display them, then?”

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Please Leave The Emasculation On The Side

| TX, USA | Bigotry, Employees

(While going grocery shopping, my wife and I stop at a popular fast food chicken place we like very much. We make our order, and go wait. Soon the waiter arrives with our trays… and this ensues.)

Waiter: “Okay, who had the side salad?”

Me: “That’s mine.”

Waiter: “Uh, usually only women order the salad.”

Me: “That’s okay. I can handle it.”

Waiter: *sets down the trays and skedaddles*

(Ah, life in small town Texas!)

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An Odd Table

| TX, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Time

(My husband and I go out to eat on a Friday night that has indoor and outdoor seating. My husband goes to the restroom while I get a table.)

Hostess: “For how many?”

Me: “Two.”

Hostess: “Inside or outside?”

(I would like to sit outside but being pregnant and starving I may consider inside.)

Me: “Which is faster?”

Hostess: “Honestly, to go.”

Me: *I’m confused and stunned, maybe I heard wrong when she asked me inside or outside* “How long is the wait outside?”

Hostess: “If you can find a table someone is sitting at now and sit at the end where it’s empty you could sit now.”

(I’m still very confused as she is not really answering my questions, I take a look outside and see the tables aren’t big enough to share as it’s the size of a standard picnic table.)

Me: “No, I’ll just sit inside, I guess.”

Hostess: “Okay it will be a 20-30 minute wait.”

Me: “That’s fine…”

(I sat down to wait and was called in three minutes. I told my husband the story and he laughed but was also confused. Maybe it was pregnancy hormones that got me slightly upset, but it was a very strange encounter.)

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Not Sue-ted To Sue

| Canton, OH, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(My family likes to go a family restaurant. It has free popcorn in the front of the store. I accidentally burn my hand on the kettle.)

Me: “AUGH!”

Worker: “Oh, my goodness, are you okay?”

(They give me ice and quickly serve us. I’m in the middle of eating when I come to the conclusion that they were afraid I was going to sue them.)

Me: “Guys, I think they think we’re suing them.”

Dad: “We should probably take advantage of this.”

(We don’t and when I looked it up I found that I got second degree burns from it. Good food, though.)

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