They Have Muffin To Worry About

| FL, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Tourists & Travel

(We’re English, on holiday as a family, two adults, two children, and in Florida for the first time. It’s our last day and we are having breakfast at our favourite restaurant before heading for the airport. It’s a buffet restaurant but we have found they have the best blueberry muffins. Just before we finish breakfast I mention to my husband that we should try to pay extra for some muffins to take with us for a snack in the airport, so we decide to ask our waitress, who is a lovely Scandinavian girl.)

Me: “Hey, [Waitress], do you think we would be allowed to buy four extra blueberry muffins to take with us. We know we’ll need a snack at the airport and these are the nicest we’ve ever had.”

Waitress: *in stilted English* “Errm, I not sure. I go see.”

(About 15 minutes go by and we figure that she has been told no, when she appears again with a man, who we find out is the manager.)

Manager: “Hi, I’m [Name], the duty manager. I understand you have a problem with our blueberry muffins.”

Husband: “Oh, no, no… They’re the best we’ve had while we’ve been here and [My Name] wanted to know if we could pay extra for four to take with us to the airport. [Waitress] must have misunderstood. After all it’s probably an unusual request.”

Manager: *laughing* “Oh, right, that’s no problem, sir. [Waitress] will bring you some right out, no extra charge. I have to tell you though, it’s just a packet muffin mix and we just add extra blueberries! Now, you have a safe journey home and we hope you make it back here soon.”

(Our smiling waitress returned a few minutes later with a bag of eight hot blueberry muffins AND a bag of muffin mix! Needless to say, we have been back several times since and we make a point of stopping at that restaurant where we always get great service. We’ve never seen the same waitress or the manager again, though.)

Putting The ‘Wait’ Into Waitress

| Gainesville, FL, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

(After a long hectic week, I meet my mom for lunch at her favorite restaurant in town. I’m the first to arrive and my mom shows up a couple minutes later. After 10 minutes, our waitress comes back.)

Mom: “We’d like to start off with the mussels.”

Waitress: “Okay.” *she doesn’t write anything down*

Mom: “And for my entree, I would like—”

(Waitress just walks off.)

Me: “…”

(Several minutes go by and we don’t see our waitress at all.)

Other Waiter: “Have you ladies been served?”

Mom: “We put in an appetizer but can we get some water?”

Other Waiter: “And bread?”

Mom: “Yes, please.”

Other Waiter: “Sure, no problem.”

(The other waiter drops off our waters and bread. We still haven’t seen our waitress. Just as we’re about to leave, the waitress shows up with our mussels.)

Waitress: “Oh, you two already have waters.”

Me: “Yeah, one of the other waiters got them for us while you were in the back.”

Waitress: “Oh, good.”

(The waitress walks off again. I’m stunned that she left before getting our entrees but we start eating the mussels. After the mussels, our waitress still isn’t back.)

Other Waiter: “Are you done?”

Me: “Yes.”

Other Waiter: “Okay, let me get this plate from you guys.” *gathers up everything and takes them to the back*

(The waitress finally comes back.)

Waitress: “Okay, what can I get for you ladies?”

Mom: “I would like the salmon salad with extra sesame dressing on the side. I would also like the feta cheese on the side as well.”

Waitress: “Okay.” *again she doesn’t write anything down* “And you?” *turning her head to me*

Me: “I would like the red fish grilled, blue crab crusted, with your seasonal vegetables.”

Waitress: “Okay.”

(She then walks off.)

Mom: “How long do you think it will be for her to come back this time?”

Me: “I’m guessing 15 minutes.”

Mom: “Is she new?”

Me: “She better be new.”

(The other waiter comes with a pitcher of water to re-fill our glasses.)

Mom: “We’re your unofficial table today.”

Other Waiter: *laughs* “It seems that way.”

(Twenty minutes later, we’re pretty much sticking around to see what this waitress does next. She shows up with our orders.)

Mom: “I thought I ordered the feta cheese on the side?”

Waitress: “Oh… well… it’s only surrounding the salmon.”

(The entire bottom of the salmon is coated in feta cheese. Mom begins picking off the cheese. The waitress walks off.)

Me: *watching mom* “It looks like the extra dressing was added to the salad, not on the side.”

Mom: “That’s what I noticed as well. So much for the extra dressing in this tub.” *still picking cheese out of her salad*

(A manager comes to our table.)

Manager: “I understand, ma’am, that your waitress messed up your order. Would you like for me to bring you out a new one?”

Mom: “No, I hate to waste food.”

(My order came out as I correctly albeit the seasonal vegetable have overtaking my plate and pushing my fish to a small corner.)

Me: *shyly giggling* “I guess someone in the back saw that the green beans expire today.”

Mom: “That’s what it looks like.”

(We eat our meals but don’t finish it all. By now, the restaurant is shifting from lunch to dinner so the place has died down. Without a word, the waitress drops off our checks and walks off. I flag down the other waiter.)

Me: “I have a coupon for a free dessert. Do I have to eat it here in order to use the coupon?”

Other Waiter: “No, what would you like?”

Me: “The [dessert].”

Other Waiter: “One [dessert] coming up.”

(A couple minutes, he returns with my dessert in a box. A minute later, waitress comes back to take our check. I like to pay for everything on my card while my mom likes to pay for her meal with her card and tip with cash. The waitress comes back.)

Waitress: “Did you want me to use the cash first and then pay the rest on the card?”

(Mom takes the cash.)

Waitress: “Okay.”

(The waitress walks off again. I can’t help but giggle. Mom rolls her eyes and leans back in her chair. I get my card and am stunned to find five receipts with it. Why she printed off and gave me five identical receipts I don’t know. I add a tip, sign the top one, and leave it on the table.)

Waitress: “Okay, is there anything I can get you two?”

Us: *in unison* “No, we’re good.”

(The waitress walks off while we’re talking.)

Us: *in unison* “Uh… ma’am. Ma’am. MA’AM!”

(The waitress stops and looks at us.)

Me: “Can we get to-go boxes?”

(She simply nods and quickly comes back with boxes for us.)

Mom: “That’s the quickest she’s been all day.”

Me: “I know!”

I Have A (Small) Bone To Pick With You

| WI, USA | Employees, Food & Drink

(There is a big family gathering involving about a dozen various relatives and in-laws. It should be noted that pretty much everyone in the group has a serious aversion to “making a fuss”, so they tend to let things slide even when they shouldn’t.)

Brother’s Wife: *biting down on something strange* “Ow! What the…” *pulls the object out of her mouth* “A chicken bone? What’s a chicken bone doing in my food?”

Nephew: “Maybe they missed it when they were cooking?”

Brother’s Wife: “I ordered a veggie omelet.”

My Mom: “…Those are some pretty old eggs, then!”

(Everyone laughs about it, but when the waitress comes by to check on us, we all nudge Brother’s Wife into saying something.)

Brother’s Wife: *smiling and kind of shy* “There was a chicken bone in my veggie omelet. I’m a little afraid to eat it now. Could I order something else, please?”

Waitress: *staring at the bone* “A… chicken bone? How in the…?”

Me: *laughing* “That’s kinda what we said.”

Waitress: *suddenly scared* “I’ll get my manager right away. I am so sorry about that! Is there anything else I could get you?”

(Brother’s Wife orders a chili. We’re all friendly and laughing still. A few minutes later, the manager comes over, apologizing profusely, taking the meal off our bill, and acting almost afraid of us. That last part has the whole family very confused, It takes a few minutes before I realize why.)

Me: “I think she’s afraid we’re going to throw a major fit about it.”

My Mom: “She doesn’t know that for us, that WAS a major fit!”

First World Responses To First World Problems

| Tallahassee, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Time

(My boyfriend works in produce and I work retail, so we’re both familiar with the best and worst kinds of customers. So, when we go out to eat and the restaurant is busy we take it in stride. The waiter comes back with our drinks.)

Waiter: “I’m so sorry about the wait.”

Me: “Oh, gosh, we just had to sit here and enjoy each other’s company!”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, it was just the worst.”

Waiter: *laughing* “I’m so sorry I made you go through that.”

Harry Potter And The Mobsters Of Azkaban

| NC, USA | Coworkers, Movies & TV

(Our locally owned restaurant is known for hiring pretty girls, but not always the smartest.)

Employee: “I watched that movie Scarface last night. Have you seen that movie, Scarface?”

(A few of the other servers mutter answers, her eyes go wide…)

Employee: “Wasn’t he like, a REAL guy? Like, didn’t he really go to that prison… Azkaban?!”

Me: “Oh, honey, that’s from Harry Potter… Are you thinking of Alcatraz?”

Employee: “No! It’s real! They made a movie about it… It’s called Shutter Island or something like that…”

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