The Mother Of All Disrespects

| Lenoir City, TN, USA | Bad Behavior, Coworkers

(One coworker is the only middle-aged person besides our managers, the rest being college-aged. On the news South Carolina has just taken down their Confederate flag.)

Middle-Aged Coworker: “Why the h*** are they taking it down? It’s Southern Pride they’re getting rid of, and those d*** n****** should just learn to accept it already.”

(Everyone in hearing distance just gives her a funny look.)

Me: “I understand you’re entitled to an opinion, but given that other people have their own, perhaps this ain’t the place to take a soap box.”

Middle-Aged Coworker: *with a mad mom voice* “You do not take that tone with me! I’m old enough to be your mother!”

Me: “Thank God you’re not.”


Not Totally How Are You

| OR, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly

(This happened at work today, I read these sites all the time and never thought something like this would happen to me ever, but it happened today. I work retail, and we get some interesting customers.)

Me: *I’m ringing up a guy’s purchase* “Your total is [total].”

Guy: “I’m doing fine.”

Me: “Umm, what? I said your total is [total].”

Guy: “I thought you asked ‘how are you?'”

Me: ” No, but anyway how are you?”

Guy: “…”

(He never replied to that, and I told my coworker about it, and she laughed. One of the more interesting days at work.)


Some Consideration Would Be The Bomb

| Chicago, IL, USA | Health & Body, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I run a key shop as a leased business to a major department store. The shop is actually located in a storefront that was carved out of the side of the auto center. Customer access is only from outside as you would have to walk the length of the shop area from the auto center sales floor to the back door of the key shop. Needless to say we do not have a lot of interaction with the auto center employees, but on the other hand we have been there for 30 years. Three firemen in full gear walk into the shop.)

Me: “Hi, may I help you?”

Fireman: “What the heck are you doing in here?”

Me: “Well, I work here. Do you need some keys?”

Fireman: “No, why are you here now?!”

Me: “It is normal business hours. Someone has to be here.”

Fireman: “This building has been evacuated.”

Me: “Obviously not, since I am still here.”

Fireman: “A report of a bomb was made for this location. GET OUT NOW!”

(I leave and walk around to the front of the building where I see all the employees of the auto center across the street. I join them and talk to the manager.)

Me: “What is going on?”

Manager: “Bomb threat; we had to evacuate. Probably false and we can go back in soon.”

Me: “Well, what about me? Why did you not tell me?”

Manager: “We yelled the order to evacuate in the sales floor and at the door to the shop and everyone left.”

Me: “So you expected me to hear it at the far end of a 300 foot noisy auto shop and through a cinderblock wall and steel door and didn’t check?”

Manager: “What are you saying?”

Me: “I am saying that if a real bomb had gone off I would be dead now.”

Manager: “Well, maybe we will send someone down there next time.”

Me: “Yeah, me being alive would be appreciated.”


Not Leaving The Trainee In The Cold

| USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Technology

(I am purchasing a few items from a one-stop-shopping kind of store, and approach the check-out with my purchases. I get in line at a check-stand and note that the clerk’s tag says that he’s a new employee. I figure this may take a few extra minutes if he’s still learning the system, but I’m not in any hurry. He scans my tissues, snacks, and cold medicine, and I hand him my ID. He stares at it for a moment, not sure what to do with it. There must have been a lag in the system, because there’s a beat or so before a screen pops up, asking for him to check my ID.)

Clerk: “Oh!” *he laughs* “I guess you know the system better than I do!”

(I smile.)

Me: “No, it’s just that I’ve had this dumb cold for a while now, and the great state of [State] wants to make sure that I’m not Walter White.”


Man, You Bring Me Down

| KS, USA | Coworkers, Language & Words

(This conversation takes place over our headsets. I am answering phones, my coworker is at the cash register, and the manager is somewhere on the sales floor.)

Coworker: “I’ve got a customer up here who says there’s a man down.”

Manager: “[Coworker], where are you? Does someone need help?”

Coworker: “No, I don’t think anyone needs help. There’s just a man down, in the men’s department.”

Me: “[Coworker], is this a real person, or a mannequin?”

Coworker: “What’s a mannequin? There’s a man down in men’s.”

Me: “Are we talking about the men we display clothes on?”

Coworker: “Yes! There’s a man down in men’s!”

Manager: “So, this isn’t an emergency?”

Coworker: “No. There’s just a man down.”

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