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Should Have Bet Cash(ier) On It

| KS, USA | Coworkers, Funny Names, Overtime

(I work in apparel. I am also trained on the register, so they have me come up and check when the lines are long. One week, I’m looking to get a few extra hours, so I take a cashier shift. I get there and get on a register. The cashier supervisor comes up to me.)

Supervisor: “The lines are slowing down. You can go back to apparel.”

Me: “I’m cashiering today.”

Supervisor: “Oh! It’s [My Name]!”

Me: *thinking to myself* “Yes, it’s [My Name]. That’s always been my name.”

(She shows me her list of cashiers for the day. It had cut off part of my name, so it looked like the male version of my name.)

Supervisor: “We were trying to figure out who [male version of my name] was. We were wondering if maybe it was a transfer or something.”

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I Come Fully Armed

| London, England, UK | Coworkers, Ignoring & Inattentive

(My coworker only has the use of one arm because of a disability, but she is just as capable and competent as anyone else in the store, even if it does take her a little longer to do certain tasks. She is working our only till when a family asks for all of their items to be gift wrapped, and a queue quickly forms since she has to do both at once. Knowing it will be faster if we split the work, I jump in:)

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], I can wrap those while you work the till.”

Coworker: *defensively and loud enough for the customers to hear* “What? No! I can do it on my own. Go watch people or something.”

(I gave the seven lined up customers a sympathetic “well, I tried” look and they rather sadly watched me fold clothes for the next twenty minutes.)

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Better ‘Safe’ Than Sorry

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid

(My manager has just come out of a meeting with her manager.)

Manager: “[Her Manager] just told me to remove my name badge from my lanyard. I always wear it there; I don’t see what the problem is.”

Me: “Your key lanyard?”

Manager: “Yes. Just in case I lose them, everyone will know they are mine.”

Me: “Uh, your key lanyard with the front door, back door, and office keys?”

Manager: “Yes, why?”

Me: “The office that holds the safe?”

Manager: “It’s got a combination.”

Me: “It’s not a very secure combination. If I was robbing the place it would be the second combination I would try.”

Manager: “What would be the first?”

Me: “0000.”

Manager: “Oh… maybe I should change the combination. Anyway, there’s a code on the tearoom door.”

Me: “The tearoom door that is in the wall that doesn’t go all the way to the ceiling? The same one you keep the ladder next to?”

Manager: “Oh, s***.”

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A Crafty Craft Boss

| Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | Bosses & Owners

(I work at a well-known craft and hobby chain. It’s been a busy week at our branch, and the district manager is visiting to see how the store manager is handling things. I’m busy checking some counts while the district manager talks to the store manager over in my department. I’m fresh out of college, I’ve only worked at this job for two months, and I’ve never been in charge of an entire department before this. I’m responsible for making sure everything is stocked, organized, and in the right place. I’m already a little bit nervous when the district manager (a physically-imposing 50-something man) calls me over by name.)

Me: “Yes, that’s me.”

District Manager: “I understand this is your department now?”

Me: “It is. I’ve had it for about a month.”

District Manager: “Hmm. Well, I’m going to ask you a question about it, okay? And we’ll see whether you know the answer.”

Me: “Okay…”

District Manager: “Follow me.”

(He leads me down one of the aisles and points.)

District Manager: *sternly* “What’s going on with this right here?”

(I look where he’s pointing, and it’s an empty hook that previously held some items that were on clearance. I can’t see anything wrong with it, but I freeze up anyway and look back at him for clarification, only to see him cracking up.)

Me: “It’s—”

District Manager: “It’s okay! I just wanted to mess with you! I just wanted to say what a good job you’re doing. I was telling your boss it looks great over here.”

Me: “Thank you…?”

District Manager: “I want you to feel comfortable with me, okay? That’s why I do that.”

Me: “…”

(Because giving the new kid a heart attack during a high-stress week is a GREAT way to make her feel comfortable with you. Good going, dude.)

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