Breast You Just Walk Away

| Naperville, IL, USA | Coworkers, Language & Words

(A new, high school aged, male employee, eager to help out a customer, sees me gathering stray carts from around the store. Behind him stands a blonde young lady, but I don’t really look at her. They are both standing next to the area where the nursing supplies are.)

Coworker: “Do you know where the breastfeed boxes are?”

Me: “Breastfeed boxes?”

Coworker: “Yes, she needs to find the breastfeed boxes.”

(I’m very confused. I’m also a guy, just out of high school at the time. I don’t know too much about nursing supplies, but I am certain that I’ve never heard of such a thing. I also can’t help but wonder why she’s asked a young man about this, since the average teenage boy wouldn’t be knowledgeable on the subject either. So many different things are flashing through my mind trying to figure out how boxes would relate to breastfeeding.)

Me: “I’m not sure what that is. I mean, I know we have breast pumps; they come in boxes… Privacy blankets… We have bottles, but those aren’t box like at all…” *I make eye contact with the customer* “What exactly is it that you’re looking for?

Customer: “Recipe boxes.”

Me: *realizes my coworker has quite spectacularly misheard what she’d said* “RECIPE boxes! Are you looking for a product that has pre-made recipes on cards?”

Customer: *looking confused, and slightly disturbed* “A box with a lid where I can place recipe cards in. You know, cards I’ve written up or gotten from—”

(Her face lights up as she finally has realized what the other employee had heard. She turns her cart around and starts making her way towards housewares.)

Customer: “It’s oookay! I’ll find it myself!”

Me: *holding back laughter* “Are you sure you don’t want help? They might be in—”

Customer: “Oh, nope! I’m fine!” *shaking her head, holds her hand up in the air in an over exaggerated dismissive gesture* “I’ve got it from here!”

(I glanced at my coworker, who was so embarrassed that he was blushing a deep, deep red. I couldn’t think of anything to say, so I continue gathering stray carts, but choose to avoid the housewares section.)

Won’t Be Party To Your Attempt To Party

| Auckland, New Zealand | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Overtime

(My friend and I used to work for the same retail shop. I left a few months ago to accept a job in the field that I studied at university. My friend is doing the same, but her hours are very open for work. They have recently hired a new manager who is less than accommodating, though. My friend is usually very good at taking on hours and meeting requirements for hours set by the new manager. Often she is the go-to for covering shifts when people cannot attend. However, recently she needed a few days off to attend an important event, and had asked for her entitled annual leave. She never asks for time off and she has always picked up shifts to help out where she can and she has for months. This is the first time she has dipped into her annual leave… and this is what happens.)

Friend: *to manager* “I noticed that my annual leave has been approved, but I am still rostered for these days?”

Manager: “Oh, yes, well we have no workers available, so we will pay you out for those days as annual, but we need you to work.”

Friend: “That isn’t how annual leave works. I shouldn’t have to come in if I’m getting paid my annual leave. And why do I not get it off?”

Manager: “Well… [Coworkers #1, #2, #3]—” *notorious for showing up hungover or not at all on shifts* “—asked for it off this week.”

Friend: “But I asked for it weeks ago? It was approved! And it is for my brother’s wedding! They only asked for it off this week because [Coworker #1] has some party on!”

Manager: “Well, I’m sorry; I’m not in charge of the rostering.” *lies*

Friend: “My annual leave was approved, though. I’m not working when I’m getting that paid out! And I’m not coming to work. It’s my brothers wedding!”

(This went back and forth for a bit, apparently. My friend refused to show up and the manager threatened disciplinary action. Thankfully, my friend was smart enough to threaten union action and the disciplinary was was magically waived. She complained about the manager and the staff after it showed up online that the manager had attended Coworker #1’s party and the stunt they tried to pull regarding annual leave. Still waiting on a result. My friend recently graduated and will be leaving this job soon!)

Dying For A Sick Day

| MA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Health & Body, Religion

(I have a pretty consistent cough, but I was assured by my doctor that it was nothing contagious, so I head into work. One of my more comedic coworkers hears my cough and asks about it.)

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], you dying?”

Me: “No, I’m fine; just a cough. You can’t catch it, either, so no worries.”

Coworker: “Oh… well, if you ever are dying, don’t forget to hand in your two weeks notice first.”

Me: *laughs* “I still have to give my two weeks notice if I die?”

Coworker: “Oh yeah, if you die without proper notice, our dearly departed former CEO will be waiting at the pearly gates with St. Peter and they might not even let you in!”

Me: “Wow! I never knew [Company]’s home office was in Heaven!”

Coworker: “No, Heaven isn’t where they keep home office. Home office is… quite a bit further south.”

A Serial Basket-Case

| Brisbane, VIC, Australia | Criminal/Illegal, Liars/Scammers

(Our last manager was pretty lazy and would just dump opened stock into a basket marked $5. Instead of spending time repackaging, he would just throw the packaging out. Regular customers caught on to this and would purposely open items worth hundreds of dollars then would come back the next day to get a bargain out of the $5 basket. After he moves on from the store, I remove the $5 sign and mark everything as half the full price. I make new sign stating that only marked items will be discounted. I also repackage anything that has packaging and tidy the section, replacing the repackaged items. Not long afterwards I see a regular customer entering the store and leaving 10 minutes later. I head to the section and find an empty package hidden amongst the stock. It’s one of the items I had repackaged. The next day the regular customer is back and is at the counter with an item out of its package. The item is worth $350.)

Customer: “I got this from the $5 bin”

Me: “Sorry, we no longer have a $5 bin. It’s now a 50% off bin and only for price-labelled items. This has no labels and I’ve actually got the package right here. It’s $350.”

Customer: “But [ex-Manager] always lets me have things out of that basket for $5; I want to talk to him.”

Me “I’m sorry, he no longer works at this store and I know that this was not in the basket yesterday because I was the one who sorted and priced everything. I did it just before you were in yesterday. ”

Customer: “Well, who’s in charge now? I want to see them.”

Me: “Yeah, that’ll be me.”

Customer: *suddenly sweet* “Oh, so where has [Ex-Manager] gone?”

Me: “He’s now at [Other Location].”

Customer: “I might go and say hello to him, then.”

Me: “You do that. I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you.”

(Funny enough, she no longer was a regular after that.)

Needs To Drive Safely

| USA | Coworkers

(There is a NASCAR driver from my hometown. Being a small town, he is the closest thing we have to a celebrity. I work at a large retail store and we are having our annual charity drive. I am in the break room and we are discussing this:)

Coworker: “[NASCAR Driver] is in town today. Maybe he’ll come in and make a large donation.”

Me: “Probably not. I hear he’s a d***.”

Coworker: “I’m friends with him.”

Me: “Oh.”

Page 1/13412345...Last