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Putting The ‘D’ Into DeLorean

| Ashford, Kent, UK | Coworkers, Movies & TV, Rude & Risque

(I am on my break with a coworker. My mobile phone receives a text – my text alert is the sonic booms that the DeLorean time machine makes when entering a new time period in the “Back to the Future” trilogy. My coworker hears the phone noise.)

Coworker: “What on earth is that noise?”

(I explain. She gives me a blank look.)

Me: “Have you seen the Back to the Future trilogy?”

Coworker: “No, not my sort of thing at all.”

(Fair enough. How boring if we all liked the same things, but then…)

Coworker: “I would rather watch a porn movie!”

Me: “…”

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A Victim Of His Baggage Issues

| Manchester, England, UK | At The Checkout, Employees

(I am using the self-checkout machine. I have scanned my loyalty card, and the machine asks if I have my own bag. I click ‘yes’ that I have two bags. One is a cloth shopping bag, but the rest of the shopping is in my rather large handbag. I collect my receipt and start to leave.)

Assistant: “Just so you know, we can see how many bags you click and how many you actually use.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Assistant: “You said you have two bags.”

Me: “I do…”

Assistant: “And you only have one.”

Me: “I used my satchel.”

Assistant: “That’s a handbag; it doesn’t count.”

Me: “But I put shopping in it.”

Assistant: “It doesn’t count.”

Me: “By using it I didn’t pick up a plastic bag when my other one was full.”

Assistant: “It doesn’t count.”

Me: “Even though I’m using it as a bag?”

Assistant: “It doesn’t count.”

Me: “I’ll… remember in future?”

Assistant: “We can see your bags. Just put the real number in next time.”

(The kicker is that each point is worth such a tiny amount that I’d have had to be going in daily with dozens of non-existent bags to get any value from pretending.)

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Going Salmon And On About The Discount

| Nora, Sweden | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink

(I’m shopping and my mom wants to eat salmon so I grab a package at random, not thinking much about it. As I’m about to leave…)

Worker #1: “Oh, that’s not the one that’s on a special discount.”

Me: “Oh, really? It’s fine. I didn’t even know there was a special discount anyway!”

Worker #1: “You’re sure you’re all right with that?”

Me: “Yeah, don’t worry!”

(I grab a few more things and go to pay.)

Worker #2: “This isn’t the salmon that’s on discount.”

Me: “It’s fine. Really. I didn’t even know that you guys had discount on salmon before another worker pointed it out.”

Worker #2: “So, you don’t want this?”

Me: “Yes. I want that one.”

Worker #2: “Okay, then.”

Me: “Hey, two people warned me; my own fault if I don’t listen now, not yours!”

(She let out a sigh of relief. I’m curious how many have complained about it, assuming they told them in advance…)

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