Fired Didn’t Burn This Bridge

| USA | Bad Behavior, Job Seekers

(Today one of the cashiers was fired due to her many absences, her swearing in front of customers, and threatening to kill everyone.)

Manager: “I’m really sorry, but we’re going to have to let you go.”

Cashier: “So, when can I apply again?”

I Was Born In The Future

| The Netherlands | At The Checkout, Employees, Underaged

(I’m buying some alcohol at a local supermarket for a party, after all items are scanned this happens:)

Cashier: “Can I see your ID, please?”

Me: “Sure!”

(I give them my ID and I politely wait, but after five minutes or so, the cashier is still looking at my ID as if they’re solving a difficult math assignment.)

Cashier: “…”

Me: “Is everything all right?”

Cashier: “Yes. Umm…”

Me: “Are you sure?”

(It’s quiet for a moment.)

Cashier: “I can’t find the date of birth…”

(I tried not to laugh and pointed it out for them. There’s only two dates on my ID – one is in the future, and one is my birth date. I’m still wondering why it took them so long!)

Making A Clean Sale

| UK | Employees, Health & Body, Math & Science

(I am walking by a woman selling a popular water filtering brand at a stall.)

Woman: “Hi! Can I interest you in [Brand] today? They’re on sale and SOO good for you.”

Me: “No, thanks. I’ve always found them a bit too pretentious for my liking.”

Woman: “Oh, but think of all the nasty evil chemicals you drink everyday from just regular water.”

Me: “I’ve lived of that water for 25 years. I can’t say I’m any worse off.”

Woman: “But all of those nasty evil chemicals can do so much damage! You have to think of your health!”

Me: “The UK has some of the cleanest drinking water in the world.”

Woman: “Oh, but—”

Me: “Not to mention that in some parts, water — ANY water — is a luxury to have. I actually can’t imagine anything worse than suggesting that the water drunk in Britain is so dangerous while in Africa every sip you take is a game of Russian Roulette.”

Woman: “Oh, umm…” *looking around embarrassed*

(I take a slow breath, realising how angry I have gotten.)

Me: “Look, I’m sorry if I went off on you. It’s just stuff like this is hard to swallow after spending two years with people who literally don’t have a choice in the matter, while one of the most advanced nations in the world boasts a choice between ‘clean’ and ‘even cleaner’ water.”

Woman: “Oh, it’s all right. I’ve just never thought of it like that. I guess we should thankful for what we have.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s how I see it. Again, I’m sorry.”

(I walked away and started my shopping. Five minutes later, though, I saw her with another woman going gaga over how much better “even cleaner water” is (direct quote). I hope she didn’t abuse my rant to get better sales…)

Should Stick To Just One Glass A Day

| Australia | Coworkers, Pun

(I’ve had a very long day and I’m a little sick, and I’ve been on and off complaining to a coworker friend of mine all day. This happens near the end of my shift.)

Me: “I should get wine after work. I need some wine!”

Coworker: “I’ll bet you do. Your WHINE output has been so high all day that you must be running seriously low! As for me, I’ve had my fill of whine today.”

Me: “Thanks for putting up with me.”

The Apple Fell Very Far From The Tree

| FL, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Food & Drink

(At the supermarket where I work, they set out daily fresh fruit in the break-room for the employees… usually just apples, bananas, and oranges, but occasionally other things like sliced watermelon and strawberries. This, along with free bottles of water and soda, is company policy, and a lot of us enjoy it. I walk in one morning to see a new guy, about my age (I’m in my early 30s), from another department sneering at it.)

Guy: “Can you believe this? What do they think we are… three?”

Me: “What?”

Guy: “Fruit! Like we’re freaking kids or something.”

Me: “Uh. Do you not… eat fruit?”

Guy: *gives me a scornful look* “No. Because I’m an ADULT.”

Me: “…okay, then.”

(I shrugged, grabbed an orange, then sat down and set about peeling it. Another coworker walked in and the guy gestured to me with a “Can you believe her? What, is she a toddler?” The other coworker was just as confused as I was. Maybe one day I’ll be cool as the other guy and only eat adult food like, I presume, steak and potatoes and tax forms, but until then, I’ll just enjoy my baby orange.)

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