Waste Not, Warn Not

| Wales, UK | Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(Very occasionally, our small express-format store gets delivered items that we don’t stock.)

Me: “Hey [manager], we got a whole half cage of morning goods (bread, cookies, etc.) and we don’t sell any of these lines.”

Manager: “Leave it to me; I’ll deal with it.”

Me: *leaves it, clocks out*

(I come back in the next day, and…)

Me: “Hey [same manager], you know these things don’t have a long date code, yeah? Do you want me to display them on the shelves?”

Manager: “Nah, that’ll only make the system order more.”

Me: “What if you reduce them on yellow labels, then they don’t affect the sales-based ordering system because they are reduced, right?”

Manager: “Yes, thats’s right, but it affects our wastage figures. Leave it with me; I’ll deal with it.”

(Fast forward a week: I’ve nagged the manager on every shift I worked, By now, the formerly fresh products are now out of date, so I am moving them to the waste cart.)

Manager: “Hey! Stop! What are you doing?”

Me: “These are out of date now, so we can’t reduce them or sell them.”

Manager: “But that will affect our waste figures. You could have told me they were going out of date!”

Me: “Seriously?”

Je M’Apple

| New Zealand | Bosses & Owners, Language & Words

(Just after 10 pm, the supermarket I work at has closed and I am cashing up my till. As I am doing so, I am chatting to the Store Manager about overseas holidays.)

Me: “…and I enjoyed being in Paris since I studied French at school.”

Store Manager: “Why did you bother learning it? Isn’t there an app for that?”

Please Make A Fermental Note

| USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive, Top

(Around the holidays, I like to pick up a bottle of sparkling grape juice since I am not of legal drinking age yet.)

Me: “Just these, please.”

Cashier: “Okay, I’m going to need to see your ID for the wine.”

Me: “Wine? That’s not wine. It’s grape juice.”

Cashier: “It’s clearly in a wine bottle. Are you going to show me your ID or not?”

Me: “It’s grape juice. Read the label.”

Cashier: “I think I’ll just hold onto this for you until you can produce your ID for me.”

(The cashier puts the juice behind her register where I can’t reach it.)

Me: “Yeah, you might want to call your manager now.”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem here?”

Cashier: “This girl is trying to buy wine and won’t show me her ID.”

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am; in order to process all alcohol sales, we need to see a valid ID.”

Me: “I understand that just fine but that is not a bottle of wine. It’s a bottle of sparkling grape juice. There is not a drop of alcohol in it. It’s just carbonated grape juice.”

(The manager picks up the bottle and reads it over, quickly realizing I’m right.)

Manager: “Right… uh, go ahead and ring it through.”

Cashier: “But it’s in a wine bottle!”

Manager: “Just scan it.”

(The cashier reluctantly scans it and gasps when her register does not ask her to enter a birth date.)

Cashier: “It worked!”

Me: “I told you.”

(When I went back the next week to get another bottle, the same thing happened!)

Stewing In Their Own Juice

| NY, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Food & Drink

(I am purchasing some juice to stock up for the holiday break because a majority of stores will be closed. There is an employee working the cash register.)

Me: “Hello, how are you?”

Employee: *glares*

Me: “…Okay, never mind then.” *places juice cartons on conveyor belt*

Employee: *picks up carton and rolls eyes*

Me: “I’m sorry, is there a problem?”

Employee: “You know that half of the juice that’s sold in the United States has chemicals in it, right?”

Me: “…”

Employee: “So essentially, you’re killing yourself and your family by buying this stuff.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Employee: “Whatever; it’s not up to me to tell you how to lead your lifestyle. Kids these days! Idiots and failures, every single one of them.”

(Another customer behind me has been listening in and speaks up.)

Another Customer: “Listen, if this kid wants to buy juice, then that’s his prerogative. It’s not up to you to tell him that he’s killing his family because he’s certainly living a better life than you at this rate. Now, shut your trap and sell this kid what he wants.”

(I buy my juice and leave, but I make sure to stop the other customer once they head out of the store.)

Me: “Thank you very much for that.”

Another Customer: “It’s no problem. Here’s something funny; I’ve seen that woman at the register before. I went to high school with her and she dropped out. She’s one to talk about kids being worthless.”

Pay On A Happy Face

| Virginia, USA | Employees

(I’ve had a crush on a barista for months now. She’s usually really busy, but always has a laugh or a smile for me, so I had the feeling she maybe liked me back. I’ve been trying to work up the courage to ask her out. I think things are finally coming up my way when I see her at the supermarket.)

Me: “Hey, you! You look nice out of your uniform!”

Her: “Yeah… here’s the deal: if I’m not getting paid to be nice to you, I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t have the energy for this.”

Me: *speechless*

Her: “See ya tomorrow!”