Equality Or Not, He’s Equally Offensive

| Sydney, Australia | Bigotry, Coworkers, Theme Of The Month

(I’ve worked at this store for nearly two years. Most of my coworkers know I’m gay since my girlfriend lives close by and visits frequently. Today, I’m working next to a male coworker who I’ve had issues with in the past because I don’t like how he treats the female customers.)

Coworker: “Okay, we’re looking for the hot babes today! Hot babes, hot babes!”

(A female customer walks past.)

Coworker: “Oh, I’d do her.”

Me: “Dude! I’m pretty sure she heard that. Keep your voice down.”

Coworker: “What’s wrong, little darling? You want me to find some guys for you to look at?”

Me: “Uh, no… not guys, at any rate.”

Coworker: “You don’t like guys?”

Me: “I like them just fine, just not in the way you’re thinking. I’m gay, bro.”

Coworker: *stunned* “No you’re not!”

(As it so happens, my girlfriend is in the store picking up some groceries, and we’ve been waving to each other.)

Me: “I am, actually. That’s my girlfriend I’ve been waving to.”

Coworker: “But you’re not hot!”

Me: “….What?”

Coworker: “Everyone knows lesbians are hot, and you’re kinda fugly. Your girlfriend, on that hand, is a hot babe. You sure she’s gay?”

Me: *speechless*

(My supervisor has overheard the last part of the conversation and steps in.)

Supervisor: *to my coworker* “Super inappropriate, mate. I can’t believe I just had to listen to that. I think you managed to lower the collective IQ of men everywhere. Go stack shelves or something. You’re done here, and if I catch you talking to her girlfriend, I’m sending you home!”

(That was the last time I saw my coworker. He got transferred to working in the deli, and my supervisor made sure he never worked the same shift as me ever again.)

Mismanaged Expectations, Part 2

| Brisbane, Australia | Coworkers, Extra Stupid

(I’m a stock filler in the dairy department. This particular night, the dairy stock has been very late to arrive to the store. A coworker from a different department approaches me. This time of night a lot of employees tend to go on their breaks, so the store is pretty empty.)

Coworker: “Hey, [my name], I just saw a truck driver standing out back. I think he came in with the dairy load.”

Me: “Oh, okay, thanks. I’ll take care of it.”

(I walk out to the back dock, and the truck driver is standing by the back entrance. He looks very frustrated and confused)

Me: “Hi, were you here with the dairy load?”

Truck Driver: “I’ve been waiting here for fifteen minutes! I’ve got other stores to go to, you know!”

Me: “Oh, uh, did you… tell anyone that you were here?”

Truck Driver: “Why the h*** should I have to tell anyone!? Where’s [dairy manager]? He’s supposed to be here waiting for me!”

Me: “[Dairy manager] is on his break right now, but I can give him a call to let him know you’ve arrived.”

Truck Driver: “This is ridiculous! Why would he be on his break/!”

Me: “Well, we were expecting the dairy load to get here quite a bit earlier.”

Truck Driver: “That’s no excuse! He should be here waiting for me! I have places to be. You can’t just waste my time like this!”

Me: “Yeah, but the manager’s not just going to stand around out back for hours waiting for you.”

Truck Driver: “Why not?!”

Mismanaged Expectations (Not Always Right)

There’s No Smoke Without Hires

| Australia | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Extra Stupid

(Our store is doing re-branding because our new logo is being rolled out. So, a group of supervisors has been asked to come in to help clean everything and make it look perfect. Note that my manager is not the nicest of people, and has cigarette breaks every half hour.)

Manager: *to me* “Oi, you! I need you to show [coworker] how to deep clean under the registers.”

Me: “Sure, do you want us to start at the far end and work our way up to the smoke counter?”

Manager: “No. I told you to deep clean the registers with [coworker].”

Coworker: “We are going to do that, but what end do you want us to start at?”

Manager: “I told you I don’t want you starting at an end. I just want both of you to clean the d*** registers while I go out for a d*** cigarette!”

Me: “Okay, then. If you just tell me where the vacuum and cleaning supplies are, we will get started straight away.”

Manager: “There is no vacuum and no cleaning supplies. Just go do your d*** job!”

(My coworker and I look at each other in disbelief.)

Me: “You mean to tell us that you called us in here overnight, to do a job that isn’t our actual job, and you aren’t supplying us with what we need to do what you want us to do?”

Manager: “Yes! Just do what I told you to do before I suspend you both!”

The League Of Extraordinary Diversity

| Florida, USA | Bigotry, Coworkers, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I recently moved to Florida from Scotland, making me a legal immigrant. I’ve gotten a temporary job working at a supermarket just so I have some money to keep me going. I’m also a very upfront person, and I speak my mind regardless of who it is I’m speaking to. I’m also gay but not camp. First week on the job, I’m assigned to a more senior employee for training. This happens a few days after I start.)

Coworker: “I’m glad to see you’re getting this so quickly. It’s good to see that there are still people who know how to work.”

Me: “Thanks!”

Coworker: “I’m just glad the job didn’t go to some immigrant. I’m sick of them taking all our jobs.”

Me: *laughs* “You’re kidding, right?”

Coworker: “No, I can’t stand immigrants!”

Me: “I’M an immigrant!”

Coworker: “No you’re not!”

Me: “I am. I’m not American; I’m Scottish. I come from another country… only two weeks ago in fact. I’ve come into your country and taken one of ‘your’ jobs, so that makes me one of those immigrants you don’t like.”

Coworker: “Well, yeah, but you’re not what I meant…”

Me: “Whatever.”

(Two days later…)

Coworker: “Look at those f**s over there. It’s not natural.”

Me: *laughs again* “What? You can’t honestly be saying that to me!”

Coworker: “What?”

Me: “I’m gay!”

Coworker: “No, you’re not!”

Me: “I think I would know better than you!”

Coworker: “But you don’t look or sound it!”

Me: “Oh, really? Well, if you must know, it’s a big conspiracy. There is a League of Gay Immigrants who don’t look or act act gay or look like immigrants, and we’re taking over your country one job at a time. It’ll take some time, but we’re getting there!”

Coworker: *distraught* “You are what’s wrong with this country. People like you are bringing this country down!”

Me: *joking* “Well, we’re just taking back what you took from us! Give America back to Britain and you’ll be spared!”