Going Salmon And On About The Discount

| Nora, Sweden | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink

(I’m shopping and my mom wants to eat salmon so I grab a package at random, not thinking much about it. As I’m about to leave…)

Worker #1: “Oh, that’s not the one that’s on a special discount.”

Me: “Oh, really? It’s fine. I didn’t even know there was a special discount anyway!”

Worker #1: “You’re sure you’re all right with that?”

Me: “Yeah, don’t worry!”

(I grab a few more things and go to pay.)

Worker #2: “This isn’t the salmon that’s on discount.”

Me: “It’s fine. Really. I didn’t even know that you guys had discount on salmon before another worker pointed it out.”

Worker #2: “So, you don’t want this?”

Me: “Yes. I want that one.”

Worker #2: “Okay, then.”

Me: “Hey, two people warned me; my own fault if I don’t listen now, not yours!”

(She let out a sigh of relief. I’m curious how many have complained about it, assuming they told them in advance…)

Periodically Uses The Express Lane

| Australia | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Rude & Risque

(I am in the line for the 12 items or fewer checkout and in front of me, currently being served, is a pretty girl who looks to be about 20 years old. She is only purchasing one item, which is tampons. The checkout is being run by a boy of about the same age.)

Cashier: *with a disgusted look* “Oh, eww, why are you buying these?”

Girl: “Because I need them.”

Cashier: “Can’t you go to the self serve checkouts or something? I don’t want to touch these!”

Girl: “Why? It’s not like they’ve been used. Each one is individually wrapped, sealed in a cardboard box, which is again sealed in plastic.”

Cashier: “It’s just that they go, you know, up ‘there.'”

Girl: “Well, so can a d**k but you still touch yours.”

(The cashier went pale and fumbled through the rest of the transaction as I tried to hide my laughter.)

Asking The Meaty Questions

, | FL, USA | Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink, Popular

(Our delivery truck is late and we are struggling to find things to put in our hot food case. My assistant manager hands me a box of brownies left over from Passover, which was three weeks ago.)

Me: *opening the box* “These are the ugliest brownies I’ve ever seen. They look like burnt meatloaf slathered in dog s***.”

Assistant Manager: “They’re just BROWNIES, [My Name]!”

Me: “I’d dispute you on that point.”

Assistant Manager: “Whatever. Just put them in the case.”

(As I’m putting them in the case, I look at her over my shoulder.)

Me: “Bet you a million bucks somebody looks at these and asks, ‘What kind of meat is that?'”

Assistant Manager: “Okay, [My Name], now you’re just being ridiculous.”

(A customer approaches.)

Assistant Manager: “Can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah, what kind of meat is that?”

(She gave me a death glare. I walked away shrugging and laughing.)

“Imagine” A More Compassionate Boss

| UK | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Health & Body, Musical Mayhem, Popular

(I am working in the warehouse of a local supermarket when all of a sudden a piece of racking collapses and an entire pallet of beer falls on me. I am knocked to the ground and badly injured, and I lay dazed on the floor. A coworker signals an emergency and begins applying first aid.)

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], don’t you fall asleep on me.”

Me: *slurred* “I am kinda tired, though.”

Coworker: “Don’t make me sing to you.”

(Singing can be used to help keep a person conscious by making them focus on the words of the song.)

Me: “Aw, would you really do that?”

Coworker: *begins singing ‘Imagine’ by John Lennon*

(By this point maybe a dozen colleagues have responded to the emergency alarm and have come to try and help. An ambulance has been called but I was starting to fall asleep and a couple more colleagues joined in the singing. My supervisor finally arrives.)

Supervisor: “Where the f*** have you guys been?! You’re here to work not to start a f***ing concert! Get your lazy a**es back out there before I fire the lot of you! Which idiot hit the emergency alarm?”

(Always nice to know your supervisor has your interests at heart.)

A Useful Comeback

| VA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I’m a new hire, a bagger, just a few weeks into my summer job. It is a Saturday morning less than an hour after opening. It’s just me and a handful of other cashier and bagging types, as well as one assistant manager who is playing Angry Birds on his tablet. While waiting for customers to arrive, we have already cleaned all the checkout conveyor belts, made sure that all the checkouts are stocked with paper, plastic, and canvas bags, placed all the carts and baskets at the front of the store for customers, and returned all displaced merchandise to where it belongs, apart from some items that just turn up seemingly from nowhere, which we don’t even seem to have in stock. With all this stuff done, we’re just hanging around and waiting for customers to show up. I’m looking at one of the gumball machines just for a second when suddenly the store manager walks in and comes up behind me. She isn’t happy.)

Manager: “[My Name], what are you doing?”

Me: “Good morning, ma’am. I’m waiting for customers to arrive.”

Manager: “Why are you standing still doing nothing?”

Me: “Because everything has already been done, ma’am.”

Manager: “Go find something to do.” *she points to the assistant manager, who is still playing on his tablet* “Like him; he never stands idle.”

Me: “Understood, ma’am.”

(I just grab a can of soup from the shelves and pretend to be looking to restock it. When I check back on the checkout lines, there are a few customers and none of the cashiers are overwhelmed. However, the manager was there, and she was not happy.)

Manager: “Where were you, [My Name]?”

Me: “I was making sure that all the canned goods were in order.”

Manager: “Why weren’t you bagging items?”

Me: “Because I was making myself useful elsewhere as you told me to do.”

(That was how I learned to always leave at least a couple things undone, just for the sake of looking busy.)