The Colour Derple

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(Note: I have a rare colour-blindness where purple and blue look the same.)

Doctor: “So, it looks like your colour vision is atypical. Were you aware of this?”

Me: “Yes, I’ve got protanopia.”

Doctor: “Well, unfortunately, I’m going to have to send you across to a specialist to get a full report for the paperwork. The receptionist will give you the directions to her.”

(We finish the medical check and I leave the room to talk with the receptionist.)

Receptionist: “So, it looks like you need to get your colour vision tested in detail.”

Me: “Yes, the doctor said you’d tell me where to go?”

Receptionist: “It’s very easy; to get to the colour blind test, just go outside and follow the green signs until you see a red building. Go through the purple doors, just past the blue ones.”

Me: “Um, sorry, can you give me another way to get there?”

(The receptionist looks confused and repeats the directions.)

Me: “Okay, before I go, can you confirm for me why am I going to the specialist?”

Receptionist: “You are colour blind.”

Me: “Thank you. And are those the standard directions you have for colour blind people?”

Receptionist: “Of course. They’re very easy.”

Me: “Okay, last one: are your directions based entirely upon the assumption that colour-blind people can see colour?”

Receptionist: “Oh my god! So THAT’S why they kept coming back and asking me to repeat it! I though they were all just stupid!”

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