The Only Ink They’ll Be Seeing Is Red

| Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

(Our failing local newspaper, desperate to sell more subscriptions, has resorted to telemarketing. Despite being on the Do Not Call list, we get calls from them every day for a month. I finally pick up the phone.)

Me: “Hello?”

Telemarketer: “Hi, this is [name]. Can I interest you in a subscription to [newspaper]?”

Me: “No, thank you. I’m not interested.”

Telemarketer: “Why not? Is it too expensive? We also offer Sunday/Wednesday-only subscriptions.”

Me: “There are hundreds of free news sources online now. I get all of my news online. I just don’t need it; I’m sorry.”

Telemarketer: “But ink cartridges are expensive. Doesn’t it cost a lot more to print all your own news?”

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