Wasn’t Banking On It Being So Difficult

| UK | Employees, Language & Words

(I have a phone conversation with my bank this morning regarding my emigration next week. The few things that need sorting are stopping further cheque books as any actions can be done online, and no more letters to my present/future address, just emails. It takes over an hour: identification over the phone is an utter nightmare as the bloke at the other end (obviously not with English as his first language) asks me to spell out every word and has trouble putting the letters back into words; he doesn’t know the word ’emigrating’ and keeps asking when I will return from my travels to the Emirates. Twice he tells me to hang up so he can ring me back because the line is apparently crap at his end, and both times we have to go through the identification process again. Then he gives up and passes me on to a colleague who goes through the identification again, and after a few minutes tells me to hang up so she can call me again. Spelling out the various names of town and street I am moving to is beyond belief as well.)

Me: “M for Mama.”

Clerk: “You mean ‘M’ for Mother?”

Me: *groan* “Yes, ‘M’ for Mother. ‘R’ for Romeo.”

Clerk: “Romeo? You mean Richard.”

Me: *about to auto combust*

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