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  • Watch Your Tongues
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  • You Have To Be Howling Mad To Work Here

    | OK, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Pets & Animals

    (I’m working cleaning out cages and feeding the dogs, who are housed in a concrete building. The noise is cacophonous. One dog in particular begins howling.)

    Dog: “OOOOOooooooo.”

    Me: “OOOOOOOOOOOooooo!”

    Dog: “OOOOOooooOOOOO.”

    Me: “ooooOOOOOOO?”

    Dog: “OOOOO.”

    (This proceeds for several minutes until I notice that my supervisor is in the building.)

    Supervisor: “Were you… howling at that dog?”

    Me: “No! Of course not! That would be weird.”

    Supervisor: “Oh, okay… Sure is loud in here today, though.”

    (Supervisor walks away, looking back at me suspiciously.)

    Dog: “ooooOOOO?”

    Me: “OOOooooooooo.”

    Weeping Over The Willows

    | ME, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (My husband and I are trying to find some young weeping willow trees to plant in a soggy part of our property. We only found one tree after driving to several different stores and nurseries, so we begin calling other places while we drive, to try to save ourselves some miles. I call the large home improvement chain store a few towns over.)

    Employee: “Hello. What can I help you with today?”

    Me: “I was just looking to see what you have in stock for trees. Specifically, we’re looking for two weeping willow trees.”

    Employee: “Hmm, we might have some.”

    Me: “Can you please check? We want to make sure there are some in stock before we drive over there.”

    Employee: “Well, I can look online to see what we have in stock.”

    Me: “….You can’t just go look at what you have in the garden center for sale?”

    Employee: “Oh, yeah! Well, I can’t look now, but how about I go look and then call you right back?”

    Me: “Sure, that’s fine.”

    (I leave my name and number. He finally calls me back, after about half an hour.)

    Employee: “Hi there. You called about some trees?”

    Me: “Yes, I did. What did you find out?”

    Employee: “Well, I checked, and we have five willow trees in stock.”

    Me: “Great! We’re actually on the road right now so we can be right over.”

    Employee: “Okay, do you want me to set some aside for you? Our trees seem to be selling pretty fast lately.”

    Me: “Oh, that would be very helpful. We’d like two, preferably the tallest, healthiest looking ones you’ve got left.”

    Employee: “Absolutely. These ones are dead, just so you know.”

    Me: “Wait, what? The trees are dead?”

    Employee: “Yeah, looks like no one watered them for a while, so they’re dead.”

    Me: “Oh. Well, dead weeping willows won’t do us much good, will they?”

    Employee: “Maybe not. And these are corkscrew willows, if that makes a difference to you. So, I’ll just set aside two for you to pick up when you get here?”

    Me: “…”

    Not Married To The Idea Of This Photographer

    | England, UK | Crazy Requests, Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (We are shopping for a wedding photographer but not having much luck finding one we could afford, when…)

    Me: “Hi, I see your offer. Can you tell me about it?”

    Photographer: *explains detail*

    Me: “Not bad. We are getting wed at [Location #1] and the reception is at [Location #2].”

    Photographer: “Oh, is it set in stone?”

    Me: “Well, yes. We like them and they mean a lot to us.”

    Photographer: *makes a face* “Well, it’s not very photogenic…”

    Me: “I’m not changing it.”

    Photographer: “Well, I guess we could drive to [Park] and do it there.”

    Me: “Drive 60 people clear across town in a rainy month? No.”

    Photographer: “Well, I don’t really like shooting in churches.”

    (Safe to say we found another wedding photographer cheaper, and one who didn’t mind working in a church!)

    The Compliments Are Not Complimentary

    | QLD, Australia | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners

    (My foreman is quite awkward about giving compliments. I have worked with him for six months and only received a few. Before this we had a few busy days and I’ve had little sleep over them.)

    Foreman: “Uh… I just wanted to tell you that I was quite impressed with how hard you have been working lately. We need more people like you around here.”

    Me: “Thanks!”

    Foreman: “No, thank you.”

    Me: “For what? Sorry?”

    Foreman: “For working hard?”

    Me: “Oh, yeah. Thanks!”

    Foreman: *sighs* “We’ll work on your listening skills next…”

    Putting The Brakes On This Scam

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Liars/Scammers, Technology, Transportation

    (My car is making a terrible grinding noise when I turn. I take it in to a national car repair chain to have it looked at. I am female and 19 at the time. My father is visiting from 600 miles away.)

    Me: “Hey there. My car is making this weird grinding, popping noise when I turn. I was hoping you guys could take a look at it?”

    Employee: “No problem! We’ll have it looked at shortly.”

    (Over two hours pass, the employee approaches me.)

    Employee: “We found the problem. Your brakes need to be replaced: pads, rotors, drums… We can get you in today and it will be [outrageous price].”

    Me: “Um… okay. But I’d like to hold off on that. I need to get my father’s permission before I authorize that charge. I’ll be back in tomorrow, though!”

    (The employee tries to argue how important it is to get my brakes replaced, to the point he prints out a recommended repairs list and hands it to me. Little did he know I’d had the brakes done less than four months prior at a different location. The next day, my father brings the car in to the same store. The same employee is there.)

    Father: “I need this car looked at. It’s making a terrible noise when I turn.”

    Employee: “Okay! We’ll have it looked at shortly. Have a seat while you wait.”

    (Less than an hour later:)

    Employee: “We can’t seem to pinpoint the exact cause of the noise, I am sorry to say. Everything looks good. It could just be something rolling around in the trunk.”

    Father: “Even the brakes?”

    Employee: “The brakes on the car are fine. They look like they were replaced recently.”

    Father: “Really, now?”

    Employee: “Yeah, they’re fine.”

    My Father: “Funny, because I have a work order from you, dated yesterday, that says they need to be replaced when my daughter brought the car in for this same issue.” *shows the work order*

    (The employee visibly sputters. There are at least six other customers in the store and my father spoke loud enough for them to hear.)

    Employee: “Uh— Oh! I remember her! Yeah, she just needed a new rotor on the car. I don’t know why the guy put down all that other stuff.”

    Father: “I’m sure. Now, you listen. My daughter is 19, and I live 600 miles away. I told her to come here because I have [Company credit card] and can pay for the repairs while she’s in school. She is going to call me every time there is an issue, and if it feels like you are trying to rip her off again, I will drive the 600 miles it takes to come down here and deal with the problem myself. Do we have an understanding?”

    (I didn’t have a problem at the location after that. The employee in question recognized me whenever I brought the car back in, and made sure to call my father to approve any repairs that were needed. Now that I’m out of college I occasionally go back for minor maintenance. He still recognizes me.)


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