Me: “Thanks, lovey! Have an awesome day!”

Customer: “Excuse me for being so forward, but are you happy here?”

Me: “I suppose so, although doing the same thing for five years gets a little tedious! Why do you ask, if I may?”

Customer: “Well, I’m a manager at [popular coffee chain] and they’re opening a new store in the area, and I’d love to have you come and join my team!”

Me: “Woah, really?! You’re offering me a job? Why?!”

Customer: “Your customer service is absolutely outstanding! Every time I’ve been through here you’ve always had a smile on your face and you’re always so happy to see us! You’re just the sort of person we’re looking for! I got really worried when you went on holiday, I thought you’d left! I’m sure your colleagues will tell you I’ve been asking after you!”

Me: “Haha, so you’re the lady that was looking for me? I thought I’d done something wrong! Wow! This is amazing! I’d love to come and work with you! Where should I apply?”

Customer: “Oh, don’t bother with that, the job’s yours! How much notice do you need before you can leave here?”

Me: “About a week, I think.”

Customer: “Right. I’d go and hand your notice in now and next week we can start your training!”

Me: “Oh my gosh! Thank you so much!”

(I immediately handed my notice in and have now been working for the coffee chain for about two weeks. It just goes to show that good customer service and a smile can really pay off!)

(My first child is sick and has been up all night crying with a fever. Before the store even opens, I am in the parking lot staring through the store window at the medicine I need with my sick, screaming baby. I can see and hear two employees nearby watching and making fun of me.)

Rude Employee #1: “Oh my god, do you see that? That crack w**** is here with her crack baby so early in the morning! I thought those kinds of people only came out at night.”

Rude Employee #2: “I guess you can never tell. I wonder what’s so important that she has to bring her screaming brat with her before we even open?”

(I ignore them as I wait patiently, but after another ten minutes my patience is wearing thin. I am about to tell them off when another employee walks up to the front doors and opens them.)

Nice Employee: “Ma’am, I know the store isn’t open for another twenty minutes, but I wanted to check on you.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. My baby has had a fever all night and just won’t sleep! I only need something to help her fever so she’ll stop crying.”

Nice Employee: “I see. Would you come with me, please?”

(He opens the door for me and lets me into the store.)

Nice Employee: “Get what you need and I’ll meet you on register one to ring you out.”

Rude Employee #1: “Hey! Don’t let that crack w**** in here. Her baby’s not sick! She’s just scamming you so she can shoplift!”

(Fortunately, the nice employee ignores them and helps me find what I need and walks me to the front of the store)

Nice Employee: “I’m sorry we let you wait out there so long. If I had known I would have gotten to you sooner. Unfortunately the registers are still not open, so I can’t ring you in, but I can let you go home with the medicine.”

Me: “But I have to pay for it. Let me at least leave some money here. You’ve been so nice; you can keep the extra as a tip.”

Nice Employee: “Ma’am, that’s very sweet of you, but I must insist you take your medicine and your sweet little girl home. As a single father, I have been in your shoes before, so I would like to pay for your baby’s medicine.”

Me: “Thank you. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you so much!”

(I always go back to that store just because of that one nice employee. He totally makes up for the rude ones.)

Receptionist: “Okay, well that will be… hold on. It’s December 31st, right?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Receptionist: “Is there any reason you booked the appointment for today?”

Me: “Nah, I just knew my mom would be off work and able to take me, and I knew I’d be home from college.”

Receptionist: “Well, okay, so if you had waited until January 1st, our insurance would’ve flipped over and your appointment would have been covered. I’m really sorry they didn’t tell you that. Whoever booked your appointment should’ve said that. I’m going to just wait until tomorrow to enter this, just so you know, okay?”

Me: “Wait, seriously? Are you sure? It’s not going to mess up your records or anything?”

Receptionist: “Not at all. Whoever scheduled you should have let you know, so we’ll cover it. Have a good one!”

Mom: “Wow, that’s great.” *to me* “We should switch your brothers and dad to THIS practice!”

(I suffer from panic attacks that can come on extremely suddenly and cause tetany, which means my muscles seize up. My sister and I are flying from Sydney to Queensland and, upon landing, I have an attack. It’s not until the rest of the passengers are off the plane do the stewardesses and steward notice me and my sister.)

Stewardess #1: *to my sister* “Hey, is she alright?”

My Sister: “She’s having a panic attack.”

Stewardess #2: “Is she scared of flying?”

My Sister: “No, she just gets attacks really suddenly. She’s not breathing well and she can’t move.”

Stewardess #2: “I’ll go see if I can lower the oxygen masks.”

Stewardess #1: “It’s ok, honey; I’ll go get the medical staff.”

(The steward sits next to me.)

Steward: “So, I’m Robbie. What’s your name?”

Me: *gasps*

My Sister: “Her name is [my name].”

Steward: “And here I thought her name was Gaspy. How are you holding up, Gaspy?”

(I laugh, which hurts. He wraps his arms around my shoulders and straightens me up from my fetal position, which also hurts.)

Steward: “I know curling up in a ball feels good right now, but it’s not helping your breathing  get any better; keep straight for me, Gaspy.”

Me: “It hurts.”

Steward: “I know, I know. Try and slow your breathing down though; come on, Gaspy. Let’s become [my name] again.”

Stewardess #2: “I can’t lower the oxygen masks for one person, apparently, but I’ve radioed the airport and they’re bringing in a tank for her.”

Me: “What?”

My Sister: “Seriously, it’s just a panic attack; we both have them all the time. A glass of warm milk, and we’re fine.”

Steward: “Warm milk, eh? Lame! Here at [airline], we do things in style! Oxygen tanks all the way! Plan to be spoiled, Gaspy.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

Stewardess #2: “Don’t be sorry; we’re having fun!”

(Stewardess #1 returns, followed by a medic with a wheelchair and oxygen tank.)

Steward: “Up we go then.”

(The steward gets to his feet and somehow manages to get me into his arms in the narrow gap between the seats. He carries me to the chair and sits me down.)

Me: “I’m really, really sorry.”

Medic: “Stop apologising; this is the best part.”

(He puts the oxygen mask on me and straps me to the chair.)

Me: “I don’t think I need that.”

Medic: “It helps, trust me.”

Me: “Okay…”

Medic: “And out we go!”

(They wheel me off the plane and through the hall to the airport. We hear shouting from the terminal and it turns out I’d held up the next flight by 45 minutes.)

Steward: “Ready for the best part?”

(We turn the corner, and all the angry passengers take one glance at me and shut up, looking away guiltily. The medic and the steward and stewardesses all laugh.)

Medic: “See how the straps help?”

Steward: “See ya, Gaspy!”

Me: “Thank you, and sorry!”

(The medic continues to wheel me through the airport and starts to get irritated by the fact that no one is moving out of his way.)

Medic: “Seriously. You are strapped into a wheelchair, breathing into an oxygen tank! Move, people! Can I use you to ram into people?”

Me: “Ram away.”

(He proceeds to barge into people who don’t clear room for us, apologising with a grin after every hit. We finally get to the medical centre and they take my heart rate and blood pressure, which are so high, they keep me there to monitor them until they go back down. Finally, I am allowed to leave.)

Medic: “And here is a lollipop for being my bulldozer.”

(Best. Airport Staff. EVER.)

(“The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey” has just been released on DVD. I go to the register not only with The Hobbit DVD but two other DVDs, groceries and snacks.)

Clerk: *scans Hobbit DVD* “A good choice.”

Me:  ”Of course. This one is a must.”

(The clerk finishes ringing up the items.)

Clerk: “Your total is [total], but everyone who buys The Hobbit gets a special discount from me.”

(The clerk pulls out the staff discount card and rings it up. I get discounted for all my purchases as if I worked there.)

Clerk: “No one will make any comments about me giving some discount anyway!”

(This discount turned out to be 10%-15% of the total purchase. Go Ringers!)