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    Category: Bizarre/Silly

    My Cup Runneth Over With Bad Behavior

    | Oxford, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink

    (My professor and I are meeting at my favorite coffee shop for tutorial. At this point, I have studied there at least twice a week all year and the staff all know me and my order by sight, so I am a consistent regular. We walk in and take a table; my professor has, among an armload of things, an empty to-go coffee cup from another shop in the city.)

    Me: *at the counter* “Hello, can I have my usual, please?”

    Manager: “Only if you get THAT out of here!”

    Me: “…I’m sorry?”

    Manager: *points at the empty cup among my professor’s things* “THAT. I WILL NOT HAVE IT IN MY STORE!”

    (Confused and rather mortified, I went back to my professor and sheepishly relayed this message, which she found as odd as I did. I got my order and we finished our tutorial there, the offending cup having been thrown away as the manager continued to give us suspicious looks. It had been my favorite place, but after that I did not go back again.)

    Positive Negative Racism

    | ON, Canada | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

    (I am buying an ice cream cake for my father’s birthday, and I hear this funny exchange between two cashiers. Cashier #1 is black.)

    Cashier #1: “I’m thinking of dying my hair, like, all blond.”

    Cashier #2: *jokingly* “NOOOO! You’ll look like a negative!”

    (They both laughed.)

    Go Swim With The Fishes

    | OR, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners

    (I’m talking with my manager about some mysterious parts that showed up.)

    Manager: “Well, it looks like they were part of a kit and just didn’t get installed or were leftovers.”

    Me: “So can we sell them, or get rid of them?”

    Manager: “Can’t sell them or keep them, so…” *he suddenly looks very serious* “You’ll have to get rid of them.”

    Me: *trying to look serious* “Little-cement-booties get rid of them?”

    Manager: *nods* “You know what you have to do…”

    Laughing When It All Goes To Hell

    | UK | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners

    (I’m a trainee. I share an office with my boss but can be given work by any associate. I’m in the toilets when I run into a friendly associate from my department. We spot a bug in the sink and decide to save it by releasing it outside. As we’re heading out, we have this conversation.)

    Associate: “You sure you have time for this actually? I mean, won’t [Boss] wonder where you are?”

    Me: “Nope, he went for a call I think. But if I get back and he’s there and wonders where I went, I’ll tell him I was being briefed on something… nah, actually, I’ll just tell him I was saving a bug.”

    Associate: “You’d actually say that?”

    Me: “Yeah. [Boss] is used to me coming out with weird statements – like whenever someone asks me to go out the office to deliver something, I just tell him I’m off on a field trip and then wander out.”

    Associate: *laughing* “See, this is why you’re my favourite trainee to give work to. You make everything sound funny.”

    Me: “…as opposed to my actual ability to do my job?”

    Associate: *realising what she’s said* “No, wait, I mean—”

    Me: “No, no, it’s fine. Every time you want the job done well, you can get another trainee. When it’s all going to Hell, you can call me in and at least we’ll be laughing when it happens.”

    Your Job Is A Joke

    | NS, Canada | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

    (It’s a slow day, so a male coworker, a female coworker, and myself are chatting when we notice the light has burnt out on one of the registers. My male coworker grabs a new bulb and climbs up onto the register belt to change it. My female coworker and I follow.)

    Me: “You’re so good at changing light bulbs!”

    Male Coworker: “Thank you. I practice all the time. Wow, this thing is really dirty!”

    Female Coworker: “Maybe you should do some cleaning while you’re up there…”

    (Just then a customer walks up to us and looks from my coworker standing on the register to the two of us on the floor watching.)

    Customer: “How many [store] employees does it take to change a light bulb?”


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