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    Category: Bizarre/Silly

    Service Request Is Stalled

    | Redmond, WA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

    (I am the receptionist at a local office park. Today an employee came down with a very embarrassed grin on her face.)

    Employee: “Hello. Uh, could I please ask you to submit a service request?”

    Me: “Sure, what’s it concerning?”

    Employee: “Uh, could I write it down on a post-it note for you?”

    (I’m confused by this but oblige her. She manages to write down a few words

    before breaking down into hysterical laughter.)

    Me: “Ma’am, are you okay?”

    Employee: “Yes, fine! Just… Oh, you are not going to believe this.”

    (She starts writing again, and then breaks down in laughter again. Seeing my increasingly perplexed expression only makes her giggle harder as she finishes her note and hands it back to me.)

    Employee: “You can use my exact wording there if it’ll help. I need to go home and change clothes.”

    (She bolted out of the lobby, and on the way out I noticed several dark stains on her pants. I looked at the note which read, “1st floor ladies’ toilets. 3rd stall lock is broken and toilet overflowed. (I literally had to crawl through s*** to get out!) Miss [Coworker] can bear witness.” I later asked said coworker who told with much amusement how she indeed happened to be using the sink when the poor employee scrambled out from under the locked stall door Indiana Jones style, with a tide of dirty water chasing after her.)

    Definitely In Your Bad Books

    | CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

    (I’m guilty here. Part of my job is to process orders over the phone, where we also have the option to pay that way by credit card, which is a giant pain in the neck to do and takes anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour. I’m most of the way through one of these longer ones.)

    Caller: “You know, on second thought, I’ll just go to [Online Bookseller].” *hangs up without even saying goodbye*

    (I kind of go nuts because I’d just wasted most of an hour. I strangle the phone receiver for a couple seconds, and slam it down way too hard on the hook while stomping my foot, all in total silence. Realizing that I was flipping out in front of customers, I turned on my brightest smile instead.)

    Me: “Hi! Sorry for the wait. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “… That is the single most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen in a bookstore. You’re not going to bite, are you?”

    Insanely Caffeinated

    | Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Bizarre/Silly

    (On the way into work I go to the local coffee shop for some coffee. The clerk behind the counter is friendly and efficient.)

    Clerk: “Can I get you anything else?”

    Me: “A large dose of sanity would be helpful.”

    Clerk: *without skipping a beat* “I’m sorry we do not keep that stocked behind the counter. All orders for sanity must be places at least 48 hours in advance.”

    Me: “Ugh, thanks. I will keep that in mind for future reference.”

    (Off I go. A few days later, I return to the same shop and the same woman is behind the counter.)

    Clerk: “Good morning. What can I get you today?”

    Me: “Did you get that order for sanity that I placed a few days ago?”

    Clerk: *again without missing a beat* “I am really sorry. I completely dropped the ball on that one.”

    Me: “Sigh. In that case I will have a large coffee.”

    Clerk: “Excellent substitute. I hope that you find some sanity.”

    Sadly Just A Flash Fire

    | WA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Coworkers

    Manager: “We’re going to have a fire drill during the meeting today. Some of you will be acting as staff and some of you will portray customers.”

    Coworker: “Can I be someone’s unmarked service animal?”

    Me: “Can I be the fire?”

    Manager: “No, we only have 10 minutes for this…”

    A Completely Different Kettle Of Fish

    | NY, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

    (I work in my university’s dining hall. Though most employees are students, not all are. I am the cashier and am using the slow period to do some reading for an upper-level literature course. Coworker, who is not a student, walks by.)

    Coworker: “Hey, whatcha reading?”

    Me:The Hermaphrodite.”

    Coworker: “Oh, never heard of it.” *begins to walk away, then stops* “Is that about a fish?”


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