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    Category: Bizarre/Silly

    Playing It By The Book

    | CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners

    (I have been working at a recently opened bookstore for over six months. One day, I take advantage of our special ordering system and order an audio book that I’ve wanted for quite a while. One morning, about seven hours before I am supposed to come into work, I receive a call from my manager.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [My Name].”

    Manager: *in a very professional tone* “Hi, [My Name]. This is [Manager] from [Bookstore]. How are you today?”

    Me: “Hi, [Manager]. I’m good, thank you.”

    Manager: “Good, good. I just wanted to let you know that your special order was received today.”

    Me: *giggling* “Oh, excellent. Thank you.”

    Manager: “You are so welcome. I do want to let you know that we will hold the order behind the register for two weeks, and if you do not come in then, we will unfortunately have to send it back.”

    (The entire time, he does not stop his professional intonation and treatment of me as a customer, and I am nearly dying of laughter.)

    Me: “You made my morning, [Manager]. Thank you.”

    Manager: “You are so welcome, [My Name]. I will notate that I called you, and you can just let us know your last name when you pick it up.”

    Me: *deciding to play along* “Hmmm… how about I come in around 6:30?”

    (6:30 is when I am supposed to start my shift.)

    Manager: “6:30 would be great. We will see you then.”

    Me: “Okay. Bye, [Manager].”

    Manager: “Thank you. Buh-bye.”

    (In short, I love my job.)

    Sales Fails

    | Yorkshire, England, UK | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

    (My boyfriend and I briefly visit a popular electronics chain to pass some time whilst we wait for a bus. We don’t want to buy anything, and are just looking at laptops.)

    Salesperson: “Hey, guys, need any help?”

    Boyfriend: “No, we’re fine thanks. Just looking.”

    (We turn to the other side of the aisle and look at tablets. The same salesman sidles up to my boyfriend.)

    Salesperson: “You wanna buy a [Brand], mate?”

    Boyfriend: “Er… no, I don’t, thanks. I’m just looking. I’d be more likely to get something like this [gestures at tablet].”

    Salesperson: “Oh, well, the [Brand]’s the best thing, so that’s what you want to get.”

    (My boyfriend gives him a polite smile.)

    Salesperson: “Yeah, I’m a salesman, but I’m not a very good one.”

    Biking Over To Weirdtown

    | Madison, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Employees

    (I’ve had a pretty rough day so far. In order to cheer myself up, I ride my bike to a gas station to buy some snacks.)

    Station Attendant: “I am sorry, ma’am, but I am afraid that your vehicle emission level is too low. You would have to leave and come back in a vehicle with higher emissions.”

    Me: *confused* “Seriously?”

    Station Attendant: “No, just joking. By the way, my vehicle would not have enough emissions, as well.”

    Me: “You ride a bike, too? Cool!”

    (Later, as I am checking out:)

    Station Attendant: “Now press the green button. Now enter your PIN. Now, put your thumb on the fingerprint scanner.”

    Me: *confused* “What scanner?” *then I realize he is joking again*

    Station Attendant: “Now, stare right here into the retinal scanner. By the way, you should wait a couple minutes before leaving the store, because you were just blinded by the laser.”

    (This was a somewhat weird, but really funny encounter with a customer service rep. Thank you, attendant guy, for making my day a little brighter!)

    My Number One Joke

    , | CT, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

    (I’m stationed at the front door as a greeter, and I also answer questions about our deals and policies and such. Our bathroom is in an odd place, and a lot of people ask me where they are. Towards the middle of a nine-hour shift, I decide to have some fun with people.)

    Guest #1: “Excuse me, could you tell me where your bathroom is?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but that information is confidential.”

    Guest #2: “Is there a bathroom I can use?”

    Me: “We do have a bathroom but you’re not allowed to use it. Everyone else can but not you, sorry.”

    (Everyone I did this to was amused, and I of course always directed them to the bathroom.)

    Barney Refuses To Dye

    | CT, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Health & Body

    Me: “Hey, [General Manager], can I dye my hair purple?”

    General Manager: “How purple?”

    Me: “Really purple.”

    General Manager: “Like the color of Barney?”

    Me: “No, not Barney colored!”

    General Manager: “I’ll let you dye your hair if everyone can call you Barney.”

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