• A Very Therapeutic Solution - 804 votes
  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Bizarre/Silly

    Not Scripted For Success

    | NY, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

    Telemarketer: “Hello, this is [Big City Newspaper] and we are offering subscriptions.” *continues at length with options and pricing details* “Would you like home delivery?”

    (I was actually pleased by the sales call because I had just moved to Big City and hadn’t had time to arrange for the paper yet, so:)

    Me: “Sure.”

    Telemarketer: *dead silence*

    Me: “Hello? Are you still there?”

    Telemarketer: “Um, yeah; it’s just that nobody ever says ’yes’ so I don’t know that part of my script.”

    This Profession Is In Your Blood

    | Durban, South Africa | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

    Me: “I just realised working in an immunology lab would be a good cover for a vampire because you can just ask for some human blood anytime.”

    Clinical Study Coordinator: “I’m going to watch you VERY carefully the next time you put in a sample request.”

    Doesn’t Get The Message Until Later

    | Waldorf, MD, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Ignoring/Inattentive

    Me: *answering phone* “Hello, this is [Library]. How can I help you?”

    Patron: “Hello, is [Name] there?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, there’s nobody here by that name. Can I take a message?”

    Patron: “Uh… You said there’s nobody there by the name of [Name]?”

    Me: “Yes. Do you want to leave a message?”

    Patron: “Uh… no, thank you.” *hangs up*

    Me: *hangs up*

    (About ten seconds later:)

    Me: “Wait…”

    I’ll Do It With Me, Myself, And I

    | IN, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Language & Words

    (I’m working tech support with one of my friends. A slightly annoying, but not particularly unpleasant task comes up that needs done.)

    Coworker: “Would you like me to do it, or shall I?”

    Me: “Well, if you really want to do it that badly, go right ahead.”

    (She realized what she said after a couple seconds and we had a good laugh and she went to take care of it.)

    ‘Me’ On Loan

    | UK | Bizarre/Silly, Crazy Requests

    Caller: “Hi, I’m from [Company] calling about the £5000 PPI refund you’re entitled to. Can I confirm who I’m speaking to?”

    Me: “Hi, I’m on the do-not-call list and I’ve actually asked you guys a few times to stop phoning me all the time. Can you take me off your list, please?”

    Caller: “Why, do you not want £5000?”

    Me: “I’ve never had a loan so I wouldn’t have been mis-sold PPI.”

    Caller: “How would you know that?”

    Me: “What?”

    Caller: *in a really sarcastic voice* “How would you if you’ve had a loan or not?”

    Me: *confused* “Well… I’m me. So I know whether or not I’ve done things?”

    Caller: *hangs up*

    Page 1/8512345...Last