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    Category: Bizarre/Silly

    The Great Mushroom Slaughter

    , | WV, USA | Awesome Workers, Bizarre/Silly, Food & Drink

    (I’ve ordered a chicken meal with a side of breaded mushrooms.)

    Server: *at drive through* “Sorry for your wait. We kill our own mushrooms.”

    A Unique Personal Announcement

    | Eindhoven, The Netherlands | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

    PA Announcer: “Ladies and gentlemen, today we have a very special photo opportunity in our basement with [well known national soccer player]. Truth be told, he isn’t really here in person, but it is a unique experience none the less!”

    A Non-Dairy Date For Your Diary

    | WA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (We’re having a little party at work because a few of my coworkers are leaving at the same time while some of my other coworkers are being promoted. One of my coworkers is vegan so we bought vegan cupcakes for everyone.)

    Coworker #1: “Man, I’ve never had vegan cupcakes before. They’re pretty good.”

    (Coworkers #2 and #3 nod in agreement.)

    Coworker #1: “Its almost like, I don’t know, weird knowing that was my first time. It’s like they—”

    Coworker #2: “THEY TOOK YOUR VEGINITY!”

    Coworker #1: “…I was going to say ‘they popped my vegan cherry’ but that works, too.”

    Coworker #3: “Well, cherries are vegan, so popping it wouldn’t work in this context.”

    A Howler Of A Caller

    | KY, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Pets & Animals

    (I work as a receptionist at a hotel. A friend of mine was recently hired as a receptionist at the sister hotel across town, and I help train him. The first night my friend is working the night shift alone I decide to have some fun.)

    Receptionist: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. My name is [Receptionist]. How may I help you?”

    Me: *in a stereotypical redneck accent* “Hey, do y’all accept pets?”

    Receptionist: “Yes, we do, sir. We are a very pet-friendly hotel.”

    Me: “Well, that’s good. Now let me ask you something. Are there any pets you won’t accept?”

    Receptionist: “Uh… badgers?”

    Me: “Okay, okay. Now I have a little bit of a situation. Let me see if you can help me out. Me and the missus, see, we’re really into that Eastern mysticism stuff. Now we went on a vacation to India and… and well, my wife died.”

    Receptionist: “Oh, no! I am so sorry, sir.”

    Me: “Oh, well now, that’s okay. But I appreciate it. Now see, my situation is that my wife got herself reincarnated as one of those howler monkeys. And now we’re goin’ on vacation, me and my wife, and I was wonderin’ if you could accommodate us, seein’ as how she’s a howler monkey?”

    Receptionist: “…”

    Me: *normal voice* “Hey, [Receptionist], this is [My Name].”

    Receptionist: “Oh, thank goodness! All I could think was ‘I can’t wait to tell you about this!’”

    When You Know Today Is Going To Just Sock

    | Manchester, NH, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

    (My coworker is on a conference call, presses mute, and frantically comes out to me and says, very excitedly:)

    Coworker: “Dude! Oh my god! LOOK! I put on the right socks today even though I put them on in the dark!”

    (He is wiggling his black and yellow sock that says ‘Wednesday’ on it.)

    Me: “…it’s Thursday.”

    Coworker: *face drops* “Well… s***! At least they are socks, right?”


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