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    Category: Bizarre/Silly

    Stuck In A Silly Land(line)

    | UK | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

    (My friend works in his family’s computing business, and sometimes they allow him and his friends to hang out in the office outside of business hours. However, he still has to answer the phone in case there’s a problem. It’s a Saturday, and we’re all chatting when the office phone rings.)

    Employee: “Hello? Yes? What would this be regarding, please?”

    (He listens for a while, as the rest of us sit there confused. He starts smirking.)

    Employee: “Oh. My landline service provider? Yeah, he’s really nice. Tastes like oranges.”

    (Catching on, we’re starting to giggle. He keeps going, sounding as professional and well-spoken as he possibly can.)

    Employee: “Yeah, yeah. We pay him in strawberries. It’s really the best way to do it.”

    (We have no idea what’s happening on the other end, but we’re all quietly cracking up as he comes out with the most ridiculous things he can. I have to go and sit at the other end of the room to calm down, but I can still hear him.)

    Employee: “… and anyway, we don’t have a landline. Yes, I’ll stop wasting your time now. Bye!”

    (I’m still not sure what they were trying to sell, but apparently the telemarketer was laughing as hard as we were!)

    Not A Morning Era Person

    | Canberra, ACT, Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

    (I’m working an early morning shift at the checkout. It is not my regular shift and I am not a morning person so I’m not very clear headed. My register is next to the door that leads into the mall. I’m ringing up a customer when there is a really loud high-pitched shriek from outside.)

    Me: “Pterodactyl!”

    (I then realise its just one of the small children outside.)

    Customer: “I’m sure that’s what their parents think sometimes.”

    Me: “No, no. I actually thought it was a pterodactyl. That was the first thing that came into my head.”

    (The customer looked at me funny for the rest of the transaction.)

    Caught With Their Pants Down

    | TX, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

    (Company policy requires us to lock our computers when we walk away from them. Thanks to our office prankster, if someone leaves a computer unlocked, we have a running joke of sending an email from their computer to the rest of the IT staff along the lines of, ‘I seem to have lost my pants.’ One morning, we receive such a message from the prankster’s computer.)

    Prankster’s Computer: “Has anybody seen my pants? I had them on this morning, but now I can’t find them anywhere. If you find them, please let me know where they are!”

    Coworker #1: “Have you checked in the fridge?”

    Coworker #2: “You should really be more careful with your pants. I think they were in the training room.”

    Me: “I saw some guys walking by wearing pants earlier. Maybe they took them?”

    (Everyone gets a chuckle, and we get on with our work. Half an hour later, the employee in question walks out of his cube wearing only his shirt, socks, and boxers.)

    Prankster: “Seriously, has anyone seen them? Anyone?”

    (It’s a good thing we have such a laid-back boss, and no female coworkers…)

    Shoot First, Ask Questions Later

    , | USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Employees, Food & Drink

    (It has been a really busy day and we are backed up about 30 minutes per-order. We have about five mini pepperoni pizzas left.)

    Me: “So, this is nothing compared to how Superbowl Sunday will be?”

    Supervisor: “Nope. It’s gonna be rough.”

    Me: “Man, can I just shoot myself now?”

    Supervisor: “NO! Wait until you are outside… and you have to get me first.”

    Me: “Aw, I don’t want to hurt you.”

    (My supervisor drops three of the last pepperoni mini-pizzas.)

    Me: “Never mind. You first.”

    Not Being One Of The Gang Can Be Soul Destroying

    | IA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

    (I am currently the only female guard at work. It also should be noted that I have a very dainty sneeze).

    Me: *lets out a decent burp*

    Coworker: “I don’t get it; you have this really adorable sneeze and then you let out that demon from Hell.”

    Me: “It’s my true soul.”

    Coworker: “Aw, you are one of us.”


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