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  • July's Theme Of The Month: Thrown Under The Bus!

    Category: Bosses & Owners

    Jetting Home

    , | PA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers

    (I am working a closing shift on a Sunday night. Normally this is a very slow shift at our restaurant, but for some reason we are experiencing a rush of customers. After talking to a few of them, my manager deduces that these customers are all coming from a specific location.)

    Manager: “These people are all coming home from the New York Jets game.”

    (I find this incredible, since the Jets’ stadium is a 2.5-hour drive from our location. However, I decide to get a bit creative in expressing my shock.)

    Me: *apparently loud enough for customers to hear* “Are you kidding me?! There are people that LIKE the Jets?!”

    My Cup Runneth Over With Bad Behavior

    | Oxford, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink

    (My professor and I are meeting at my favorite coffee shop for tutorial. At this point, I have studied there at least twice a week all year and the staff all know me and my order by sight, so I am a consistent regular. We walk in and take a table; my professor has, among an armload of things, an empty to-go coffee cup from another shop in the city.)

    Me: *at the counter* “Hello, can I have my usual, please?”

    Manager: “Only if you get THAT out of here!”

    Me: “…I’m sorry?”

    Manager: *points at the empty cup among my professor’s things* “THAT. I WILL NOT HAVE IT IN MY STORE!”

    (Confused and rather mortified, I went back to my professor and sheepishly relayed this message, which she found as odd as I did. I got my order and we finished our tutorial there, the offending cup having been thrown away as the manager continued to give us suspicious looks. It had been my favorite place, but after that I did not go back again.)

    What Ales You?

    | USA | Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink

    (I’m an administrative assistant in an accounting firm, operated by two co-partners. I’m a self-admitted beer snob, and one of the partners is too, so we often joke together about drinking. The following takes place at about 4:45 pm.)

    Partner: *standing in the middle of the office and shouting* “Ugh, is it beer o’clock yet?!”

    Me: *looks at clock* “Sorry, boss. Fifteen sober-minutes left until beer o’clock.”

    Partner: “Oh, God, I’m dying!”

    (He goes back into his office, and fifteen minutes later, at 5:00 pm on the dot, he emerges carrying a six-pack in each hand.)

    Partner: “HAPPY END OF SOBRIETY, EVERYONE!”

    Go Swim With The Fishes

    | OR, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners

    (I’m talking with my manager about some mysterious parts that showed up.)

    Manager: “Well, it looks like they were part of a kit and just didn’t get installed or were leftovers.”

    Me: “So can we sell them, or get rid of them?”

    Manager: “Can’t sell them or keep them, so…” *he suddenly looks very serious* “You’ll have to get rid of them.”

    Me: *trying to look serious* “Little-cement-booties get rid of them?”

    Manager: *nods* “You know what you have to do…”

    Parental Misguidance

    | Allentown, PA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests

    (I have been the church secretary for almost five years at this point. The church has an in-house day care, which uses the same main entrance as the church office.)

    Council Member: “We’ve decided that you’re going to be responsible for monitoring the parents when they come into the day care.”

    Me: “What? That’s not my job.”

    Council Member: “It is now. Parents are very concerned about their children’s safety, so we’re going to start locking the door and you will have to let people in when they come.”

    Me: “I don’t know who the parents are. How am I supposed to know who I’m letting in the building?”

    Council Member: “That’s true.”

    Me: “Not to mention, my job takes me all over this building. Sometimes I’m in the supply room, or up in the sanctuary. I’m not always sitting here.”

    Council Member: “Also true.”

    Me: “Furthermore, I was never hired to be a security guard. This is not normal secretary work.”

    Council Member: “Yes, you’re right about all this.”

    Me: “And?”

    Council Member: “And you’re going to do it anyway.”

    (I was also written up for objecting. After two months of the headaches, I left. Someone later let it slip to me that they did this on purpose to force me to quit.)


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