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  • Category: Bosses & Owners

    They Should Start Printing Money

    | OK, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Money

    (I work in a copy shop that runs on pretty high margins. Because of this, we will often offer up to around a 30% discount to new, possibly large clients in order to hook them in. That kind of discount will often be reflected in our program for businesses should they choose to continue working with us anyway.)

    Me: “So [Client] is finally ready to print?”

    Manager: “Yep. She wants 1000 double sided color copies.”

    Me: “Really?! Great! The price on that will make up for all of those revisions that we did for her.”

    (We had been working on revisions with this client for months. Most of the revisions were simply her changing her mind.)

    Manager: “Eh, heh… Yeah… Well, uh, [General Manager] apparently set up a discounted price with them.”

    Me: “Oh, well that’s all right. What’s the discounted price?”

    Manager: “[Price that's roughly 90% off of the normal price].”

    Me: “… WHAT!”

    Manager: “I know. He made me go to [Online Print Supplier] and quote their price.”

    Me: “But… they can give those prices because they have a massive printing factory! And slower turnaround! We’ll lose money on that price! And they’ll expect that kind of pricing from now on!”

    Manager: “I know… but [General Manager] said—”

    Me: “Why didn’t he bring this up with me? I’m the supervisor now! I’ve been working on this project! I could have explained to him why this was a terrible idea!”

    Manager: “That’s just what he said to do…”

    (Lo and behold, we didn’t make our budget for that week.)

    How To Lose Friends And Alienate Managers

    | NH, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners

    (I have just gotten a job at the local mall. As it’s a small town, many of my friends also work in the mall at other stores, and sometimes they come by to visit me while I’m working.)

    Friend #1: “I’d like to make this purchase.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. You’re not allowed to shop here.”

    Friend #1:Well, I never!

    Friend #2: “Am I allowed to shop here?”

    Me: “No, [Friend #2], you are not. All of you get out right now before I call security.”

    (I look up and notice my manager staring at me in horror and quickly explain the situation. Fortunately, she takes it in good humor, although my friends are more careful about their joking in the future!)

    Conceal, Don’t Feel, Don’t Let It Show

    | England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (My boss is a little inconsistent. He has a few good workers and a number of slackers, and he doesn’t have the guts to do anything, so he just gives more work to those who are already busy.)

    Boss: “[My Name], can you come in here a moment?”

    Me: “Sure, but I’m a bit busy.”

    Boss: “Yeah, about that. I have had complaints about how busy you are and how stressed you are.”

    Me: “Well, yes. You have given me a load of work to do.”

    Boss: “Yeah, well, you need to stop mentioning it.”

    Me: “What? I have been so busy I haven’t said more than two words to anyone.”

    Boss: “Well, people can see you’re stressed and, you need to not let that show.”

    (I am so shocked that I left and sat down.)

    Coworker: “Are you okay?”

    Me: “I just got told off for being too busy. He said people were complaining that I was too stressed.”

    Coworker: “What?! I told him that he was giving you too much work, and that it wasn’t fair when some people are on Facebook all day. He never listens!”

    Quality Over Unknown Quantity

    | OH, USA | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests

    (I’m responsible for scheduling staff members for an event. I send my boss a list of possible invitees. After making a few changes, she approves the list. Two weeks later…)

    Boss: “Why did you invite [Person]?”

    Me: “She was on the list of people you asked me to invite.”

    Boss: “Yes, but we don’t have an open position for [Person]. Why did you take it upon yourself to invite her?”

    Me: “I didn’t. I emailed the people on the list you specifically sent me.”

    Boss: “But if you had referred to the document I sent you, you’d know I didn’t have a position for her.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I never received that document. I only received the list of people you specifically asked me to invite.”

    Boss: “It’s on the shared drive. You should have consulted it first.”

    Me: “So a document I didn’t even know about takes precedence over your very specific instructions?”

    Boss: “Yes. Why are you so stupid?”

    It’s An Ill Bird That Fouls Its Own Nest

    | England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I’m working alone with my manager one night about 10 minutes before we close. I hear the fryers react as though something’s been dropped in. It’s summer, so we have all the doors and windows open, but the kitchen has none so I am confused. I go to check, and find a bird seems to have fallen in.)

    Me: “[Manager], are you free? Can you come here a second?”

    Manager: *walking in* “What is it?”

    Me: *I point out the bird* “We need to change the oil.”

    Manager: “Seriously? It’s 10 minutes before close. We’ll be here an extra half hour if we do it now!”

    Me: “It has to be done.”

    (The manager huffs, then fishes the deep-fried bird out with a pair of tongs and throws it in the bin.)

    Manager: “Sorted. You can clean it out tomorrow.”

    Me: “I’m off until Thursday.” *it’s currently Monday*

    Manager: *getting annoyed* “Do it Thursday, then!”

    Me: “You want to leave the fryers for three days with oil that bird has been in?”

    Manager: “The heat will kill off the germs. Don’t worry about it.”

    (And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the story of how I quit my first job.)

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