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    Category: Bosses & Owners

    His Targets Are Unreachable

    | TX, USA | Bosses & Owners, Health & Body

    (I have to be out of the office for two days, for a surgery, and have permission in writing. I call to remind my boss the day before.)

    Me: “Hey, [Boss], just reminding you I’ll be unreachable tomorrow because I’m having surgery.”

    Boss: “Okay, I’ve scheduled an auto repo for tomorrow so just make sure the guy has your cell number in case of problems.”

    Me: “No, I’ll be completely unreachable. He’ll have to call the office and talk to [Assistant].”

    Boss: “Wait, how ‘unreachable’?”

    Me: “In the hospital, getting my nose sliced open ‘unreachable.'”

    Boss: “Well, what if your children need you?”

    Me: “Okay, [Boss], you’re overthinking this.”

    Can’t Stop The Presses

    | NC, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (48 hours earlier, a massive hurricane swept through our city, which is 250 miles inland. We’re all frantically working to keep assembling the city’s daily newspaper, even though we have to drive to another city and use their paper’s presses to print it. None of us have power, water, or heat. There are massive trees down, buildings leveled, power lines everywhere, and the National Guard directing traffic. We’re working away on the next day’s paper and idly griping about all of our hardships, when the new assistant managing editor, trying to play along says:)

    Assistant Manager: “Oh, I know: Our cable reception is really fuzzy.”

    The Managers Shifty Behavior

    | NY, USA | Bosses & Owners, Transportation

    (I commute to my job from my parents’ house about 45 minutes to an hour away in heavy traffic. I get there early, but stop and talk to a coworker outside for about 15 minutes to loosen up, being extremely frustrated and defeated from the traffic and rush to get there. Three of my other coworkers pass me and go inside. When I go inside, my boss tells me he ‘doesn’t need me today,’ which is not uncommon for the last person to arrive at work for an overbooked party. He assumes I drove from my own apartment 10 minutes away.)

    Me: “Wh– what?”

    Boss: “Yes, I don’t need you today. You can go home.”

    Me: “You really can’t use me? I just drove an hour to get here from my parents’ house.”

    Boss: “Too many servers. I don’t need you, sorry. You were last to get here.”

    Me: *about to cry from frustration* “I clocked in at exactly at 10:30…” *plays with machine* “See?”

    Boss: *pulls me behind a bar and takes $20 out of his wallet* “Here, go put some gas in your car and call back at 12 to get another shift for tonight.”

    Me: “Noooo problem.”

    Use The Malt Wine

    | Malta | Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink

    (My mother and I are in Malta to scatter my Maltese father’s ashes. We ask the hotel restaurant’s manager to arrange a buffet after the scattering for my father’s Maltese friends and relatives.)

    Manager: “And the guests, will they be Maltese or British?”

    My Mother: “Maltese.”

    Manager: “Right, I’ll use the good wine.”

    His Hearing Is Week

    , | OR, USA | Bosses & Owners, Language & Words

    (I am a supervisor at a popular coffee chain. I had just started counting some product when I realized I had left my clipboard on the counter.)

    Me: *to manager nearby* “Hey could you grab me that thing?” *makes dramatic reaching motions towards the clipboard*

    Manager: “Um, sure.” *hands it to me with a look*

    Me: “Yeah, it’s been one of those weeks…”

    Manager: *mishears me* “Well, at least you’re honest about your choices…”

    Me: “Wait, what?”

    Manager: “You just said it was from all the weed.”

    Me: “…No.”

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