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  • Category: Bosses & Owners

    A Thick Slice Of Bribery

    | Sandy Springs, GA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (My shift is about to end when my manager comes up.)

    Manager: “Hey, do you want to stay till close.”

    Me: “No.”

    Manager: “C’mon.”

    Me: “No.”

    Manager: “I’ll pay you extra.”

    Me: “No.”

    Manager: “I’ll buy you some pizza.”

    Me: “No… Wait, what kind?”

    Manager: “[Popular local chain].”

    Me: “D*** it! All right.”

    Gunning For A Promotion

    | Omaha, NE, USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid

    (I work in the garden center of a large department store and am covering a lunch break in sporting goods. A manager who is notorious for being controlling and generally incompetent happens to come by and notices the gun cabinet is unlocked.)

    Me: “Oh, yeah. A customer wanted to look at a gun. He just left. I was just about to lock it back up.”

    Manager: “I don’t want you letting people look at guns. You aren’t trained to sell guns.”

    Me: “I know that. I wasn’t going to sell it; he just wanted to look at it. That doesn’t require any training. They have a safety clip only we can take off and there’s obviously no ammo in them.”

    Manager: “I don’t want you letting people looking at guns. What if they hit you over the head with it, knocked you out, and ran out of the store? They would have just stolen the gun.”

    (I was looking for a promotion, so I just smile and nod. Later, I am talking to the sporting goods associate.)

    Me: “[Manager] told me not to let people look at guns because they could be used as a club. I wonder if she realizes that less than a hundred feet away we have completely unsecured and uncovered axes and machetes in the garden center, along with enough pool chemicals and fertilizers to make a crude bomb without anyone noticing.”

    Coworker: “Yeah, I’ve never heard of that policy. She’s an idiot.”

    No Point Lying Over Soiled Milk

    | Boston, MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink

    (I am working as a hostess in a popular restaurant. A couple has come in to celebrate finding out the wife is pregnant. They have ordered our most popular drink that includes milk and vanilla ice cream, but without the alcohol. The host stand and bar are next to each other and I was good friends with the bartender that night. A few minutes after the drink was delivered, the waitress and the manager call me over.)

    Manager: “[My Name], can you go to that table and spill the drink at their table?”

    Me: “What? Why?”

    Server: “I made the drink instead of [Bartender] since it wasn’t alcoholic and I used expired milk. So I want you to spill it so we can make a new one.”

    Me: “I really don’t want to spill expired milk and ice cream all over the table when they’re celebrating.”

    Manager: “Well, [Server] can’t do it because it could affect her tip and I’m the manager, so they wouldn’t believe I could be so incompetent. You’re just the hostess so you can do it, no problem!”

    (I’d worked as a server at another restaurant for years and even if I hadn’t, I was very taken aback by the manager basically telling me I was incompetent because I was working as a hostess.)

    Me: “This doesn’t sound like it has anything to do with me. I’d really rather stay out of it.”

    Manager: *shoves a bowl of bread in my hands, pushes me over to the table and says this before running away* “This is [My Name]. She has some bread for you to start with!”

    Me: “I heard about the happy news! Congratulations! I was actually just talking to the bartender who said she wanted to put some extra chocolate decorations into the drink for you as a congratulations present. Would you mind if I grabbed it for a second? I promise to bring it right back with some extra goodies on it.”

    Customer: “Thank you! That sounds wonderful!”

    (I grabbed the drink, asked the bartender to quickly make a new one with non-spoiled milk, and added some extra chocolate to it. The customer was thrilled, and the manager and server just stared unbelieving at me while this happened. The manager took all the credit for the idea afterwards. Thankfully it was only a summer job and I left shortly thereafter!)

    Don’t Be A Queen About It

    | Newark, DE, USA | Bosses & Owners, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (It’s nearing the end of the night and there’s the usual rush of customers trying to pay for their purchases before the store closes. One of my managers has yet to learn my name, Kathryn.)

    Manager: “Kathy, can you go help [Coworker] on registers?”

    (There’s a long pause because I initially don’t realize he’s talking to me.)

    Me: “Hey, [Manager], do you mean Kathryn?”

    Manager: “Queen of England, can you go help on registers?”

    Me: “Not a problem, [Manager].”

    (About twenty minutes later, once the store has closed, I approach the returns area to begin after-hours recovery only to find my manager’s there.)

    Manager: “Hey there, Kathleen, you wanna start with that pillow filler?”

    Me: “My name’s Kathryn. Would it make it easier if you used my middle name?”

    Manager: “What’s your middle name?”

    Me: “[My Middle Name].”

    Manager: “Okay, whenever we’re on at the same time I’ll just call you [Middle Name].”

    (Not even a half-hour later he is calling for me by saying ‘Queen of England’ over the store walkie-talkies.)

    I Will Reschedule You In For Never

    | South Tampa, FL, USA | Bosses & Owners, Ignoring/Inattentive, New Hires

    (I’ve recently graduated from college and am in desperate need of a job so I can start paying my student loans. I go in for an interview at a local boutique and am hired on the spot for a part-time position. The owner says she’ll call me within 48 hours to let me know when to start. Four days later, I haven’t heard anything, so I call the store…)

    Me: “Hi, this is [My Name], and I was wondering if you had a start date for me?”

    Owner: “Of course! I’m sorry I didn’t call you sooner; it just slipped my mind. You’ll be starting this Saturday.”

    Me: “Great! What is the dress code?”

    Owner: “Whatever you are comfortable in! You can wear a dress and heels; you can wear jeans and flip-flops. We’re pretty relaxed around here.”

    Me: “That sounds awesome. I’ll see y’all Saturday, then.”

    (I take the owner literally and decide to wear my favorite jeans, a cute top, and some fun flip-flops on my first day. I show up and am surprised to see that both the owner and the other employee are wearing nice sundresses and high heels.)

    Me: *jokingly* “I feel a little underdressed today!”

    Owner: “Oh, no, you look just fine! Now, let me show you what you’ll be doing today…”

    (I spend most of the day in the stock room, pricing new items and steaming clothes. Despite my extensive retail and cash handling experience, I am not allowed to use the register. At the end of my shift, I notice that I’m not on the schedule for the next week.)

    Me: “Hey, [Owner], I was wondering when I’ll be working next? I am not on the schedule.”

    Owner: “Oh, I made that up two weeks ago. Let me see. I am sure we’ll need you next weekend.” *pulls up the schedule* “Oh, no… not next week. We have more than enough staff working… Not the week after either… Hmm, let me pull up July’s schedule.”

    Me: “Uh…July?!”

    Owner: “Oh darn, I’m not seeing any needs then either!! How about this: I’ll tinker with my schedules this week and I’ll give you a call to let you know when you’ll be working again?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    Owner: “Great! Well, you were a great help today, and I’ll see you soon, I’m sure!”

    (I give it a week. When I don’t hear anything, I decide to start applying for other jobs. I am hired almost immediately for a part-time position that is actually related to my degree. A couple months pass and I don’t hear anything from the boutique, but am doing so well at my other job that I am promoted to a full-time position. I get home the day after and see an email from the boutique owner. Please note: it is now September.)

    Owner: “Hey, [My Name], I just wanted to let you know that we haven’t forgotten about you! I know it’s been a while since you’ve worked here, but I’m sure I will need you very soon!”

    Me: “Actually, I just got offered a full time position at another company. Please consider this my resignation, even though I only worked 1 shift back in June.”

    (I never heard anything back. I’m not sure if the owner just forgot she hired me or if not scheduling me was their way of firing me…)

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