Featured:
  • Don’t Play With Fire
    (1,016 thumbs up)
  • May's Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    A Portrait Of A Stupid Landscape

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, New Hires, Technology

    (The senior partner’s nephew works for us as a copy clerk for the summer and the fact that this kid got into college HAS TO have something to do with Uncle Senior Partner. This kid is AMAZINGLY stupid. One day the copier, which has three trays (8-1/2″ x 11″, 8-1/2″ x 14″ and 11″ x 8-1/2″)  runs out of paper in that third drawer. I walk by as he is looking mystified at the supply cabinet where all the paper is labeled either 8-1/2″ x 11″ or 8-1/2″ x 14″. I see the blinking light on the copier and knew what the problem is: it was out of 11″ x 8-1/2 paper.)

    Me: “What’s the problem?”

    Young Employee: “We don’t have the paper the copier wants.”

    (I picked up a packet of the 8-1/2″ x 11″)

    Me: “Look, we can MAKE SOME.” *turns the paper on its side*

    Young Employee: “Whoa, that’s FAR OUT!”

    A Very Badly Written Plan

    | USA | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (A friend of mine is also close friends with some people that do web-comics and develop their own card and computer games. They’ve asked him to see if he can find them someone to help out with a project.)

    Friend: “So [Content Creator] wants to see if he can find writers to help him out with this project for [Their Universe].”

    Me: “Really? That would be cool. I always enjoy their stories and the exposure could be good.”

    Friend: “Oh, they don’t want anybody else’s name on the project.”

    Me: “Okay, I’d have to hear more about the project before I can settle on some ghost-writing fees.”

    Friend: “They don’t want to pay up front either.”

    Me: “Royalties for such a small group as there’s are a little bit iffy.”

    Friend: “He won’t pay any royalties at all either.”

    Me: “So, he won’t pay a fee, he won’t give royalties, and he won’t give credit?”

    Friend: “Yeeeah.”

    Me: “Okay, how about a trade of services? Their art style isn’t really my favorite, but I’m sure I can find something they could do for me in return.”

    Friend: “He’s not doing art trades either.”

    Me: “How does he plan to pay for the services?”

    Friend: “He actually refuses to pay for anything. He just wants me to find him some writers to help out with his project.”

    Me: “…for free? He wants me, or someone else, to take time away from our own projects and just help him for no compensation what-so-ever?”

    Friend: “Yeah.”

    Me: “…”

    Friend: “I’ve tried to tell him it’s a stupid policy, but he won’t listen.”

    (Needless to say, I did not do the work for the guy.)

    Hit Delete And Start Again

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (The keyboard on my tablet has stopped working. I’ve been on the phone with tech support, troubleshooting, for about half an hour. They agree that it’s a mechanical problem and transfer me to that department since it is still under warranty.)

    Tech Support: “So, if you can confirm your shipping address, we can send you a new keyboard right away.”

    Me: “Uh… I don’t need a new keyboard. It’s a tablet. A laptop.”

    Tech Support: “Well, the keyboard is what’s broken, so we’re going to ship you a new keyboard.”

    Me: “I’m not sure you understand. It’s a tablet. I need a new unit entirely.”

    Tech Support: *long pause* “My system shows that there are no replacement keyboards for your model.”

    Me: “…Sounds about right.”

    Can’t Think Outside The Box

    | CA, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I go into our local serve-yourself bakery to buy muffins for some staff meetings. I needed two dozen, but because the meetings are spaced throughout the day, I pack eight muffins into three different boxes.  I get up to the register to pay and the clerk tries to charge me for three dozen.)

    Me: “I only have two dozen.”

    Clerk: “But you have three boxes so it’s three dozen.”

    Me: “Yes, I have three boxes, but there are only eight in each box which equals two dozen.

    Clerk: “Nope. Three boxes equals three dozen.”

    (After going round and round with her several times, I ask for the manager. She goes into the back to get him and as soon as he comes out, he says without even looking:)

    Manager: “Three boxes is three-dozen.”

    (I put the boxes on the counter and walked out. I ended up at my local supermarket where I bought two dozen donuts in three boxes without any problems.)

    Empowering Your Workforce

    | Singapore | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I am the administrative executive for my office, but, as we do not have an in-house IT person, I sometimes troubleshoot the simpler issues.)

    Colleague: “[My Name], I can’t turn on my computer! I keep pressing and pressing the power button and still there’s no light! I don’t know what to do! It was fine yesterday but it’s not today!”

    (At this point, my colleague is wringing her hands and getting increasingly shrill. I walk over to her desk and see the problem immediately.)

    Me: “[Colleague], your main power switch is not on. That’s why your computer cannot be turned on.”

    Colleague:“Oh, to save electricity I turned off the main switch yesterday before I went home. So, if I turn that on, I can turn on my computer?”

    Me: “…Yes.”


    Page 4/106First...23456...Last
    « Previous Page
    Next Page »