• A Very Therapeutic Solution - 785 votes
  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    The Worst Kind Of Bubble Butt

    | WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (My coworker used to work in the quality office of a factory that makes big brand cleaning/disinfecting wipes. A call came through her phone from a customer.)

    Coworker: “Thank you for calling Factory Quality. This is [Coworker].”

    Customer: “You sold me faulty wipes! They don’t work and they made my baby’s butt bubble!” *a baby’s shrill screaming can be heard in the background*

    Coworker: *alarmed* “I… I’m sorry, ma’am… Your baby’s bottom is bubbling? You should call 911!”

    Customer: “NO! This is YOUR fault! What are you gonna do for me?!”

    Coworker: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but you need to hang up and dial 911! These are NOT baby wipes! It even says it on the back of the can. If you could find our office number, then you also saw the warning label which reads ‘This is NOT for personal use. Keep out of reach of children. Using these wipes in a manner inconsistent with its intended purpose is a federal crime.’ Now please, hang up and dial 911!”

    Customer: *garbled choking and screeching* “I’m gonna sue y’all for hurting my baby!” *slams phone down*

    Talking Eurotrash

    | Newcastle, England, UK | Employees, Extra Stupid, Money, Tourists & Travel

    (I’m living in England but I’m from Ireland. I ring the foreign exchange department of an English bank to find the exchange rate for an upcoming trip home.)

    Me: “Hi, I need the current exchange rate for euro, please.”

    Foreign Exchange Employee: “What country, please?”

    Me: “Ireland.”

    Foreign Exchange Employee: “The currency in Ireland is sterling so there’s no exchange rate.”

    Me: “Not Northern Ireland, the Republic of Ireland!”

    Foreign Exchange Employee: “The currency in the Dominican Republic is the peso. Exchange rate is—”

    Me: “Not the Dominican Republic! The Republic of Ireland! It’s the euro! How can you work in foreign exchange and you haven’t heard of the euro? It’s a huge currency!”

    Foreign Exchange Employee: “…”

    Me: “France. Just give me the exchange rate for France…”

    Pray The Pineapple Fell Very Far From The Tree

    | Portsmouth, England, UK | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m working behind the bar on a quiet afternoon with a member of staff who has been there a good few months by this point. I’m testing her on cocktail recipes to help her remember them whilst we have time, and she’s asking about various ingredients.)

    Coworker: “I don’t think I’d like that cocktail. It has pineapple juice in it and I don’t like apples.”

    Me: “…What?            ”

    Coworker: “Pineapple’s a type of apple, and I don’t like apples!”

    Not Taking Fraud Prevention To The Nines

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I’m the customer in this story, and have just spent $10,000 on all new appliances and things for my new home at a major home improvement store. I get home and receive a fraud notice and am told to call the Fraud Department.)

    Me: “Hi, I got this notice that there was suspicious activity on my card. It was totally me. Let’s get this started so I can eat my dinner.”

    Customer Service Representative: “I’m sorry, sir, this is customer service. You need to call the fraud department.”

    Me: “But I called the number in the email. Why would the number in the fraud alert email not be the fraud department?”

    Customer Service Representative: “I don’t know but I can transfer you.” *proceeds to transfer me to the wrong department*

    Fraud Department #1: “I’m sorry, sir, you need the ONLINE fraud department; I can transfer you.”

    Me: “…Okay.”

    (The food is now getting cold.)

    Fraud Department #2: “So, it looks like one of the items on your transaction was marked as suspicious so we put a stop on that item.”

    Me: “Wait a second. Are you seriously telling me that you didn’t mark the transaction as a whole as fraud, but out of the nine items, eight were cool but one of them might not have been me, so you separated that single item out of the transaction as possible fraud?”

    Fraud Department #2: “Yes, sir.”

    Me: “How is it possible that I can have nine items in my purchase, but you think one of them isn’t me?”

    Fraud Department #2: “Yes, sir.”

    Me: “And this makes sense to you?”

    Fraud Department #2: “It’s just how we do things here, sir.”

    (I head-desk and dinner was now cold.)

    A Very Secure Marriage

    | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Coworkers, Extra Stupid

    (We have a security company who picks up our banking a couple of times a week. They dress very casually so as not to draw any attention. They usually say hi or wave as they pass by our front counter, so that managers can be directed to the office. I am working on the floor when I hear a staff member yell from the front of the store. This staff member questions everything.)

    Staff Member: *yelling* “[MY NAME], SECURITY’S HERE!”

    (I race for our office door which is at the back of the store.)

    Me: “Oh, I am so sor—”

    Staff Member: *from front of store* “SECURITY’S HERE”

    (I see him cringe.)

    Me: “I’m sorry; I’ll be having words with her. It won’t happen again.”

    (I quickly call the front desk on the phone.)

    Me: “Okay, I have it. Stop calling it out. I need to talk to you later.”

    (I finish with the security guy and head down to the front counter.)

    Me: “[Staff Member], security has asked me to talk to you about the way you announce their arrival. You can’t do it like that”.

    Staff Member: *in her usual loud shrill voice* “Why?’

    Me: *quietly* “Because they are here to pick up the banking and don’t want to draw attention to themselves.”

    Staff Member: “So? It’s their job.”

    Me: “They don’t want to draw attention due to carrying thousands of dollars in their bag, so they don’t get held up or worse.”

    Staff Member: “So what am I supposed to call them?”

    Me: “For one thing don’t yell anything across the shop. If you must say anything, either phone or page. Call them a courier or something, but not security or banking guy. Just stop yelling it. Actually just page me to the office; don’t even call them a courier.”

    Staff Member: “If I just page you to the office, how do you know who it is for?”

    Me: *internally cursing* “They come on the same day every week. I’ll know.”

    Staff Member: “But what if you call me and ask who it is?”

    Me: *more internal swearing* “Tell me my boyfriend is here.”

    Staff Member: “Your boyfriend? But you’re married”.

    Me: *even more internal swearing* “That is how I’ll know it’s security.”

    Staff Member: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Yes. I’m going on break.” *runs off before my internal swearing becomes external swearing*

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