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    Category: Extra Stupid

    A Very Poor Understanding Of Charity

    | IL, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid

    (It is shortly before Thanksgiving, and the grocery store I am shopping in has shopping bags filled with holiday items for needy families. The sealed bags are on tables by the checkout. To purchase one, as I had before, you just put it on the belt with your groceries, then pay, and drop it into a donation bin by the exit. I pick up one of these bags and put it on the belt with my groceries.)

    Cashier: *gesturing to the charity bag* “That isn’t for you.”

    Me: “I’m sorry…  What?”

    Cashier: “Those are for needy families. You can’t have it.”

    Me: “I’m not buying it for me. I’m going to put it in the bin by the door.”

    Cashier: “You can’t buy those! They aren’t for you! You are taking food from needy families!”

    Me: “I bought one the other day so it can be given to a needy family.”

    Cashier: “They shouldn’t have let you. You have to put it back.”

    (I am wondering if I should bother to have a manager called over when the cashier from the next checkout says to my cashier:)

    Other Cashier: “What are you doing, [Cashier]? Those bags are for any customer to buy and donate. The store ships them to a charity that gives them to the families.”

    Cashier: “Oh. I thought only the poor could buy them.”

    (The cashier still seemed reluctant, but she did ring out my order and allow me to make my donation. I hope I was the first customer who had tried to buy one of those bags in her lane.)

    Need To Apply Yourself To Your Application

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Job Seekers

    (Someone turns in a job application to me. I take it into the back and give it a glance over. The first thing I notice is that none of the non-informational questions – i.e., why do you want to work here? etc. – are answered. I look on the back and see no previous job experience. I flip back to the front and note that they are asking for a ridiculous pay per hour for a no experience needed position with no previous job experience and no effort put into their application. I start to wonder if this was a serious attempt at a job search when I notice one final detail – he did not write down his phone number. I laugh out loud and a nearby associate notices.)

    Associate: “Hmm?”

    Me: “This application… Half of it isn’t filled out, he wants more money than 90% of you guys make, and he didn’t leave his phone number. Even if this application wasn’t instantly rejected, how would we call him back?”

    (The associate looks at the application for a moment.)

    Associate: “[Name Of High School] is in [Far Away City], but he says he lives in [City In Opposite Direction]. Unless he commutes an hour to and from school every day, he’s lying.”

    Me: “What? Why would you even lie about what high school you were going to? It’s high school, who cares.”

    Associate: “Yeah. What a dweeb. We should totally hire him!”

    Me: “I’ll go hire a psychic to give me his phone number so I can give him a call back!”

    (I sticky note the application ‘How to not fill out an application’ and leave it on the desk for other managers to look at. I make sure that our store manager sees it before it gets thrown away. Two days later, the applicant actually calls and I answer the phone. I recognize the name because of the attention I had given to the application. I ask him to hold.)

    Me: “Hey, [Store Manager], remember that ridiculously hilarious application I showed you a while ago? The one where he didn’t fill out any of the questions, lied about what school he went to, and didn’t write down his phone number?”

    Store Manager: “Yeaaah?”

    Me: “Well, he just called asking about his application. What, uh… what do I tell him?”

    Store Manager: “Maybe suggestions on how to fill out a job application?”

    Me: “If you want to tell him that, then you can talk to him!”

    Not Quite On A Career Rat Race

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (My manager and I are talking about an upcoming trade show when one of our employees walks up to us. She has worked at the store for about six months and her mother is the manager of another one of our locations.)

    Employee: “So, when do mice grow up into rats?”

    Manager: “[Employee]! You work at a pet store!”

    Needs More Train-ing

    | UK | Employees, Extra Stupid, Transportation

    (My mother is booking a train ticket over the phone.)

    Mum: “What’s the earliest train time?”

    Employee: “Well, the earliest is at 05:30. It gets you there at 10:30. They then run every hour after that.”

    Mum: “I only need to be there by midday. 06:30 should be fine.”

    Employee: “Okay, I’ll just key that in.” *types* “Right, your ticket is booked for 17:30.” *suddenly realizes* “Oh, hang on. I’ll correct that.” *more typing* “Okay, your ticket is booked for 18:30.”

    Not The Most Gifted With The ID

    | Corvallis, OR, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Ignoring/Inattentive, Money

    Me: *pays with VISA gift card*

    Clerk: “I’m going to need to see some ID.”

    Me: “But it’s a gift card.”

    Clerk: “I’m still going to need to see some ID.”

    Me: “… I don’t have my ID on me because I planned to pay with a gift card.”

    Clerk: “It’s a VISA so I need to see your ID.”

    Me: “But even if I showed you, how would it help you determine the card owner?”

    Clerk: “JUST SHOW ME YOUR ID!”


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