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    Category: Extra Stupid

    Mis-sold On The Resume

    | Maritimes, Canada | Employees, Extra Stupid, New Hires

    (I am the front desk manager at a hotel. We have just hired a new girl who is really not working out. Despite having several years experience at a hotel, she seems completely clueless as to how the hotel industry operates. She also has zero computer skills and as such her training has taken at least twice as long as it normally should. After more than 3 weeks, we decide she is ready for her first shift alone. It’s a quiet night and I make sure she has all her notes as well as my cell number in case she needs to call me for help with anything. Before leaving we have the following discussion:)

    Me: “So, we are currently at 75% occupancy. We need to get that up to 100% tonight, so make sure you rent out all the rooms. I don’t want to see any vacant rooms when I come in tomorrow morning. It shouldn’t be too hard; we get a lot of walk-ins this time of year. Just make sure you do whatever you have to in order to sell those rooms. Anybody who walks in looking for a rooms doesn’t leave without renting one. Got it?”

    Employee: “Yup, no problem. I can guarantee with almost 100% certainty that every room will be sold tonight.”

    Me: “Okay, great. Make sure you call me if there’s anything.”

    (Later that evening, around midnight, I get a call from the night auditor who is normally very calm and subdued. Right now, though, he is frantic.)

    Me: “What’s going on over there?”

    Employee #2: “That idiot is going to run us out of business.”

    Me: “Why? What happened?”

    Employee #2: “You told her she had to do everything in her power to rent all the rooms so she did…to her family at $1 per room.”

    Me: “What?! Are you f****** kidding me? How many rooms did she rent?”

    Employee #2: “12 total. She’s got her entire family and all her friends here as we speak. She called them in right after you left and so we had, like, no rooms left to rent to walk-ins. She’s been turning customers away all night. They all paid a discounted rate of $1 because she said she had to get the rooms rented. Some of them are even occupying suites. She’s actually proud of herself for selling out the hotel tonight. She genuinely believes she is going to be praised and rewarded for this tomorrow.”

    Me: “I can’t believe this. Do me a favor. Get the applications file from the cabinet and put it on my desk. I’m going to start looking for someone new first thing tomorrow.”

    (Since the rooms went to her friends and family without proper authorization it was considered stealing. I confronted her the next day and informed her that her services were no longer needed and that she could come by for her pay check later that week. She genuinely could not understand why it wasn’t ok to rent those rooms at that price; I told her to sell them and she sold them. Lesson learned: always check references and never hire based solely on the resume.)

    Knows How To Escalate The Situation

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids

    (My four-year-old son is scared of escalators. It’s Christmas shopping season and my hands are full of packages and shopping bags. We are at the top of an escalator and I simply don’t have a hand free to pick him up and carry him down that escalator. We’re standing there, arguing about it.)

    Son: “But it will chomp my legs off.”

    Me: “It won’t do that; you’ll be fine.”

    (A young male sales clerk from the store walks up to us.)

    Clerk: “Hey, kid, you’re right. This thing chomped some kid’s legs off just yesterday.”

    (I ended up dragging my packages and my crying child to the elevators way on the other side of the store. It was two more years before that kid would ride an escalator. Thanks a lot, guy.)

    Don’t Elevate Your Expectations

    | USA | Extra Stupid, New Hires

    (I’m working as a front desk clerk and I go into the sorting room to get a book. We have a few new pages who started recently (pages are the ones who shelve the books) and the trainer is talking to one. I overhear the conversation as I’m looking for the book:)

    Trainer: “Okay, I think you’re ready to shelve on your own now. Why don’t you take this cart of picture books upstairs to the children’s room? Can you handle that on your own?”

    Page: “Yes, I think so.”

    Trainer: “Do you have any questions?”

    Page: “Just one. Should I take the elevator?”

    Trainer: *completely straight faced* “Yes, you should take the elevator.”

    (After the page left with the cart, Trainer and I made eye contact and both burst out laughing.)

    The Key To Listening

    | Peoria, IL, USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Language & Words

    (I’ve just arrived for my shift and need a second person to go to the back with me so I can get my money, as I don’t have a key.)

    Me: “I need someone with a door key, please!”

    Coworker #1: “I don’t have a door key. Ask [Coworker #2].”

    Coworker #2: “What?”

    Me: “Do you have a door key? I need my money.”

    Coworker #2: “I do have a door key!”

    Teller Supervisor: *from another room* “STOP CALLING PEOPLE ‘DORKY’! THAT’S NOT NICE!”

    The Cake Coupon Is A Lie

    | North Bay, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (There is a page for a manager to the checkout, which I take.)

    Me: “What’s the issue here?”

    Customer: “Your cashier is refusing to use my coupon.”

    Me: *examining the coupon* “So this is a dollar off for pound cake… It isn’t expired… and the product is correct. [Cashier], why aren’t you accepting this?”

    Cashier: *puts the cake-mix down on the scale with an exaggerated, exasperated sigh* “Look, this ISN’T a pound of cake!”

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