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    Category: At The Checkout

    Insanely Caffeinated

    | Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Bizarre/Silly

    (On the way into work I go to the local coffee shop for some coffee. The clerk behind the counter is friendly and efficient.)

    Clerk: “Can I get you anything else?”

    Me: “A large dose of sanity would be helpful.”

    Clerk: *without skipping a beat* “I’m sorry we do not keep that stocked behind the counter. All orders for sanity must be places at least 48 hours in advance.”

    Me: “Ugh, thanks. I will keep that in mind for future reference.”

    (Off I go. A few days later, I return to the same shop and the same woman is behind the counter.)

    Clerk: “Good morning. What can I get you today?”

    Me: “Did you get that order for sanity that I placed a few days ago?”

    Clerk: *again without missing a beat* “I am really sorry. I completely dropped the ball on that one.”

    Me: “Sigh. In that case I will have a large coffee.”

    Clerk: “Excellent substitute. I hope that you find some sanity.”

    Go Native Or Go Home

    | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, History, Language & Words, Top

    (I’m in line at a popular discount retail store, with two people ahead of me. The women at the head of the line is clearly new to English, and while she has a thick accent and struggles, she does her best to speak to the cashier in English, even though he rolls his eyes and makes her repeat everything several times. Finally, she is able to leave. As soon as she’s out of earshot:)

    Cashier: “Ugh, they shouldn’t be allowed in our stores until they learn our language.”

    (The man ahead of me says several things in another language.)

    Cashier: “Oh, man, not another one. This is America. Learn the language.”

    Customer: “Oh, I’m sorry. I just assumed you’d learned Cherokee, since you’re so big on people learning the local language. My mistake.”

    (The cashier turned bright red and didn’t say another word through the transaction.)

    Defying Egg-spectations

    | Green Bay, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Holidays

    (I stop at the grocery store on Thanksgiving morning to get the last few things for dinner.)

    Clerk: “Is that it?”

    Me: “Yes, thank you.”

    Clerk: “Great. Happy Easter!”

    Me: “Had enough of saying ‘Happy Thanksgiving,’ huh?”

    Very Bad Reception, Part 8

    | Northern Ireland, UK | At The Checkout, Employees, Health & Body

    (I’m in my twenties and hate dentists after seeing a very bad orthodontist in my teens. My mother insists that I go to a practice that her friend has recommended, and we get appointments at the same time. We fill out our information in the waiting room, and a nurse comes in to check it.)

    Nurse: “So, do either of you have any fears or problems with dentists?”

    Me: *hand raises instantly* “Yep! It’s not really a fear but the smell and the noise of the drill make me feel sick…”

    Nurse: “Okay. We get a lot of people who don’t like the drill, but it’ll be fine…”

    (I go into the dentist, who is excellent and explains everything. I tell her why I haven’t been in so long and she’s very understanding. She writes down everything that I need done in subsequent visits, and I go back again for a filling a few weeks later. She lets me listen to music so I can’t hear the drill and get it done as quickly as possible. I go out to reception to pay and wait for my mum.)

    Receptionist: *not looking up* “All right, it’s [price] for today, and we can take you on [date] for the root canal.”

    Me: “What?”

    Receptionist: *looks at me* “Oh, it says on your chart that you need one.”

    Me: *feeling sick* “I wasn’t told. I was just given this list…”

    Receptionist: *sees me turn white* “Oh. Uh, I’ll just get the dentist…”

    (The dentist brought me back in and apologised. It turned out that one tooth was too damaged for a filling, but she was sparing me the horror after coping so well with the two I’d just gotten. She explained that root canals aren’t as bad as I had been told, but I could have the tooth removed instead when I went to get my wisdom teeth removed under general anaesthetic. I chose the removal, and haven’t been back in case the receptionist springs any other surprises on me…)

    Very Bad Reception, Part 7
    Very Bad Reception, Part 6
    Very Bad Reception, Part 5

    A Very Poor Understanding Of Charity

    | IL, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid

    (It is shortly before Thanksgiving, and the grocery store I am shopping in has shopping bags filled with holiday items for needy families. The sealed bags are on tables by the checkout. To purchase one, as I had before, you just put it on the belt with your groceries, then pay, and drop it into a donation bin by the exit. I pick up one of these bags and put it on the belt with my groceries.)

    Cashier: *gesturing to the charity bag* “That isn’t for you.”

    Me: “I’m sorry…  What?”

    Cashier: “Those are for needy families. You can’t have it.”

    Me: “I’m not buying it for me. I’m going to put it in the bin by the door.”

    Cashier: “You can’t buy those! They aren’t for you! You are taking food from needy families!”

    Me: “I bought one the other day so it can be given to a needy family.”

    Cashier: “They shouldn’t have let you. You have to put it back.”

    (I am wondering if I should bother to have a manager called over when the cashier from the next checkout says to my cashier:)

    Other Cashier: “What are you doing, [Cashier]? Those bags are for any customer to buy and donate. The store ships them to a charity that gives them to the families.”

    Cashier: “Oh. I thought only the poor could buy them.”

    (The cashier still seemed reluctant, but she did ring out my order and allow me to make my donation. I hope I was the first customer who had tried to buy one of those bags in her lane.)

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