(I’m buying a common cold medicine that is OTC, but you have to be 18 to buy. At the time, I’m 19.)

Cashier: “I need to see your ID.”

(I hand it to her.)

Cashier: “Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t sell this to you.”

Me: “What? Why not? ”

Cashier: “Well, I have to be able to verify you’re over 18.”

Me: “Is there a problem with my ID?”

Cashier: “You were born in 1989.”

Me: “Yes, and it’s 2008, so I’m 19.”

Cashier: “But you could be lying because I don’t know how to figure out how old you are if you were born in 1989. It’s too hard to subtract!”

Cashier: “Would you like a bag?”

Me: “No, thanks. I have my own.”

(I point to my reusable bag, which is pink.)

Cashier: “That’s too pink. I can’t use that.”

(Thinking he’s joking, I laugh.)

Cashier: “No, I really can’t use that. It’s too pink.”

(The cashier opens a plastic bag and puts my purchases in it, avoiding my own bag.)

Cashier: “It’s too pink!”

(I’m at the register and buying tampons. When the clerk rings me up, he picks up them up with the tips of his fingers, like they are covered in poison, and makes a disgusted face.)

Clerk: “Do you want a bag for these?”

Me: “No thanks, I’ll just put them in my—”

Clerk: *winces, squeals and claps his hands over his ears*

Me: “—in my PURSE. PURSE. Jeez, dude!”

(He breathes a deep sigh of relief. I get out of there as fast as I can. I didn’t see him there the next time; apparently he couldn’t cope with handling feminine products!)

(I am 23. I walk to a store near where I live to get some things, including a bottle of wine.)

Cashier: “Can I see some ID, please?”

(I search for my driver’s license, but can’t find it.)

Me: “Hm, I guess I must have left it at home. Just take off the wine, then.”

Cashier: “If you don’t show me some ID, I can’t sell this to you.”

Me: “I know. Just take it off, please. I’ll just get the rest of the stuff.”

Cashier: “Look, what don’t you understand? I can’t sell you alcohol if you don’t show me some ID. It’s a felony.”

Me: “What I don’t understand is on what planet bread has alcohol in it.”

(The cashier looks at my other items for a moment, and then blushes.)

Cashier: “Oh! You wanted to just buy the rest of the stuff!”

Me: “Yeah… that would be great.”

(“The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey” has just been released on DVD. I go to the register not only with The Hobbit DVD but two other DVDs, groceries and snacks.)

Clerk: *scans Hobbit DVD* “A good choice.”

Me:  ”Of course. This one is a must.”

(The clerk finishes ringing up the items.)

Clerk: “Your total is [total], but everyone who buys The Hobbit gets a special discount from me.”

(The clerk pulls out the staff discount card and rings it up. I get discounted for all my purchases as if I worked there.)

Clerk: “No one will make any comments about me giving some discount anyway!”

(This discount turned out to be 10%-15% of the total purchase. Go Ringers!)