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    Category: At The Checkout

    Weight Gain Equals Job Loss

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I have always been on the small side. At this time I had just gotten over the flu, and so I was a bit skinnier than I normally am. I was really craving a chicken sandwich, so I decided to get one.)

    Me: “Can I get a chicken sandwich with no lettuce and no mayo, but add tomatoes? And a small diet coke.”

    Worker: “No.”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Worker: “I’ll get you a large regular coke and a cheeseburger, because you need to gain weight, anorexic freak.”

    Checked Out At The Checkout

    | YK, Canada | At The Checkout, Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Technology

    (I’m at the local hardware store. There is one customer in front of me and one behind me, and a teenage cashier who looks like the last place she wants to be, is here. She stands in silence, purposely looking away from the lineup, chewing bubblegum. Customer #1 is at the till, patiently waiting for her to notice. After about a minute of all of us being ignored, Customer #2 pipes up.)

    Customer #2: “Uhm, excuse me? Are you busy? You can deal with this lady you know.”

    Cashier: *pops her gum and sighs, then turns to start processing the sale*

    Customer #1: “I would like to return these two items as they were the wrong size, and get these two instead.”

    Cashier: *scans in the two new items, then adds the two old items, then presses the button to bring up the total*

    Me: *since I can see the till’s screen* “Excuse me, you added her returns. You need to subtract them for a refund.”

    Cashier: *gives me a look, and then looks at the screen. She heaves a huge exasperated sigh, and shrugs* “I don’t know how to do that.”

    Me: “Okay. Press ‘delete’ once. Then ‘enter’ twice. Then, where it says ‘2,’ type ‘-2.’ Then press ‘enter’ twice.”

    Cashier: *stares at me, popping her gum*

    Me: “Just do it.”

    Cashier: *another huge sigh, but does as told, and finishes the sale*

    Customer #1: *to me* “Oh, thank you!”

    Me: “No problem.”

    (Customer #1 leaves, and I place my items at the till.)

    Me: “On my account, please, under [My Name].”

    Cashier: *ignores me and starts scanning the items*

    Me: “No, no. I said on my ACCOUNT, please. You need to back up. Stop, and press ‘F5′ to get to the accounts screen to enter my name.”

    Cashier: *presses a random button, causing it to go to an entirely different screen. She grunts and tosses her arms up in frustration* “I don’t know what to do!”

    Me: “Calm down. Just abort the sale. Press ‘escape’ twice and hit ‘enter’ for yes to abort. It’s okay. Nothing bad will happen; it won’t throw off your till.”

    Cashier: *looks at me, then does as told, bringing the till back to the first screen*

    Me: “Now, let’s start again. Press ‘F5,’ then type [My Name]. Then ‘enter.’ Then you can process my items.”

    Cashier: *she does so, and we quickly finish the sale*

    Customer #2: *who has been standing behind me watching this entire thing* “Thank you SO much for helping her. We would have been here all day!”

    Me: “It’s no problem, really. I used to work here, so I remember the buttons. It’s the same system so nothing has changed.”

    Customer #2: *looks at me, then the cashier, then back at me* “…Can you stay while she does mine?”

    The Cake Coupon Is A Lie

    | North Bay, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (There is a page for a manager to the checkout, which I take.)

    Me: “What’s the issue here?”

    Customer: “Your cashier is refusing to use my coupon.”

    Me: *examining the coupon* “So this is a dollar off for pound cake… It isn’t expired… and the product is correct. [Cashier], why aren’t you accepting this?”

    Cashier: *puts the cake-mix down on the scale with an exaggerated, exasperated sigh* “Look, this ISN’T a pound of cake!”

    Running Late For A Very Important Rebate

    | USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (We are shopping at a retail store for clothing for an important occasion that night and running late, so we are in a hurry.)

    Cashier: “Would you like to purchase a membership?”

    Mom: “No, thank you.”

    Cashier: “Okay, but if you get a membership your total will be reduced by 30%.”

    Mom: “I said no, thank you.”

    Cashier: “Are you sure? Because—”

    Mom: “NO!”

    Cashier: “Oh, so you’re not sure. Okay, well you just need to sign up here. All we need is your name, phone number, home address, annual income, and- ”

    Mom: “NO. I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE. WE ARE RUNNING LATE. STOP.”

    Cashier: “Fine, sheesh. You don’t have to yell about it.”

    (We were on time for our event, thankfully.)

    How To Cheese Off The Cashier

    , | Los Angeles, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink

    (The restaurant normally sells hamburgers for $.89, but they are having a special where two cheeseburgers for $1.00. I don’t eat cheese.)

    Me: “I’d like two cheeseburgers, no cheese, please.”

    Employee: “So, two hamburgers?”

    Me: “Yes, but since cheeseburgers are cheaper now, I want the cheeseburger special. So, cheeseburgers, but no cheese.”

    Employee: “We can’t do that.”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Employee: “It’s not a cheeseburger.”

    Me: “Can I get it without pickle?”

    Employee: “Sure, how ever you want it.”

    Me: “Without ketchup?”

    Employee: “Yes.”

    Me: “No mustard?”

    Employee: “Yes.”

    Me: “But not without cheese?”

    Employee: “No, then it’s not a cheeseburger.”

    Me: “But you realize, you have to pay for cheese, so you make more money this way.”

    Employee: “But we can’t do that.”

    Me: “Can I get the cheese on the side?”

    Employee: “Sure.”

    (The employee then took my order, and gave me two hamburgers with a French fry package with two slices of cheese in it. I took the cheese and tossed it in the trash can and walked out.)


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