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    Category: Coworkers

    Going Through A Bad Spell At Work

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Coworkers, Geeks Rule, Rude & Risque

    (I am a known Harry Potter fan at work. This occurs while my coworkers and I are cleaning up after the restaurant is closed.)

    Coworker: *with the broom*Wingardium Leviosa!”

    Me: “That’s the wrong spell for that.”

    Coworker: “No, I was trying to levitate your jaw shut so you’d stop talking.”

    Me: “Oh, look, it’s levitating my middle finger!”

    You Guest Wrong

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Coworkers

    Coworker #1: “Remember, the customer is always right.”

    Coworker #2: “Well, then, it’s a good thing we have guests.”

    A Very Scary Month

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Coworkers, Language & Words

    (My coworker is from France. His accent is very good, but is very strong with certain words:)

    Coworker: ‘’I need the report from a ghost.’’

    Me: ‘’What?’’

    Coworker: ‘’ A ghost. A ghost’s report. It’s missing?’’

    Me: ‘’A ghost report?’’

    Coworker: ‘Yes. A ghost.’’

    Me: ‘’Ghost.’’

    (He wanted the report from August.)

    A Non-Dairy Date For Your Diary

    | WA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (We’re having a little party at work because a few of my coworkers are leaving at the same time while some of my other coworkers are being promoted. One of my coworkers is vegan so we bought vegan cupcakes for everyone.)

    Coworker #1: “Man, I’ve never had vegan cupcakes before. They’re pretty good.”

    (Coworkers #2 and #3 nod in agreement.)

    Coworker #1: “Its almost like, I don’t know, weird knowing that was my first time. It’s like they—”

    Coworker #2: “THEY TOOK YOUR VEGINITY!”

    Coworker #1: “…I was going to say ‘they popped my vegan cherry’ but that works, too.”

    Coworker #3: “Well, cherries are vegan, so popping it wouldn’t work in this context.”

    Client In-compliant

    | Spain | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Technology

    (We work as sysadmins. One of our duties is checking free space on disks on the servers and informing the corresponding account manager. Since we care for the servers of lots of different companies, our policy is that we never contact the client company directly, but only the account manager. This conversation is via e-mail over several days:)

    Sysadmin: “Good morning. We have an alert for disk I in server [Server] belonging to [Client]. Could you free space? Thanks.”

    Account Manager: “Hello. Please remove me from these notifications or at least send them to the client directly. Cheers.”

    (Our manager steps in.)

    Sysadmins Manager: “Hello. Could you please talk with [Senior Manager]? We have instructions to never contact the client in these cases, but [Account Manager]. Thanks.”

    Account Manager: “Hello. It is true that you should not contact the client directly. You should notify them instead. Cheers.”

    Sysadmins Manager: *to [Account Manager] and [Senior Manager]* “I’m copying [Senior Manager] in order to clarify this case and all similar for the future. Is the procedure for this client different or should we contact [Account Manager]? Thanks.”

    Senior Manager: *including [Account Manager] in copy* “Contact [Account Manager]. Cheers.”

    Sysadmins Manager: *to [Account Manager]* “Hello. Alert is still on; status is critical.”

    Account Manager: “Have you contacted the client?”

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