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    Category: Coworkers

    Requires A Walking Carpet

    | WV, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m working in the stockroom when a delivery truck arrives. Management needs to be notified, and since I don’t have a walkie-talkie, I call out to my coworkers. The doughnut vendor overhears.)

    Me: “Hey, does anybody have a walkie? The truck’s here.”

    Doughnut Vendor: “Why do you need a Wookie?”

    (Makes Wookie noises at me.)

    Me: “A Jawa or an Ewok would work, too.”

    Gremlins And Tribble-ations

    | SC, USA | Coworkers, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I take a brief stop in the break room to make myself some tea, and notice a ziploc bag with a hideously moldy roll in it, in the middle of the table. I walk to the front of the office and calmly face my coworkers.)

    Me: “Anyone here seen ‘The Trouble with Tribbles’?”

    Coworker: “Sure! It’s my favorite episode!”

    Me: “Well, there’s a Tribble in a ziploc bag in the break room.”

    Coworker: “No! Don’t feed it!”

    Coworker #2: “Don’t get it wet either, just in case.”

    Breaking Bread With The Night-Shift

    , | Germany | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Coworkers, Food & Drink

    (I work in the kitchen of a café, which is affiliated with the nightclub next door, and there are various doors and hallways that connect cafe, kitchen, and club. The bosses of the café and club are married. As you can imagine, despite them officially being separate businesses, pretty much everything is connected in some way. When I start my morning shift at 6 am, most of the bartenders are still there or getting ready to leave.)

    Bartenders: *coming into the kitchen* “Oh, man, it’s so unfair. We’ve been working all night and now you come in here and bake croissants and make everything smell delicious.”

    Me: “Well, I just finished this batch. You can have them if you want. There’s also cheese and ham if you want to grill it.”

    Bartenders: “Really?! We were just joking…”

    (The croissants are ridiculously cheap and the café staff eats for free anyway, so I figure my boss won’t mind.)

    Me: “Yeah, go ahead. I’ll just make some new ones for the cafe.”

    Bartenders: “This is the best!” *everyone’s happily assembling cheese croissants* “You know, the girl who worked here before would scream at us if we even tried to walk through the kitchen, let alone ask for any food! She said we were all just drunken a**holes trying to steal from [Café Boss].”

    Me: “Well, I hope I won’t get in trouble with [Café Boss]. If so I’ll just pay for the croissants this once.”

    Bartenders: “Nah, if she gets angry, just send her to us and we’ll explain. [Nightclub Boss] has been thinking of getting us some breakfast now and then, anyway.”

    (My boss didn’t mind when I asked her about it, as long as I wrote down what the people from the club ate, for accounting. Now most of the bartenders jokingly call me ‘kitchen mama‘ for feeding them in the morning, and I’ve never had to pay for a drink at the club! Goes to show what being nice can do.)

    Speaking Idiot Is Quite A… Thing

    | USA | Awesome Workers, Coworkers, Extra Stupid

    (I am out on the sales floor, helping to straighten things up. About ten feet away is a stock team member, putting things away off her cart that have just come in. I am approached by a customer.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for one of those things for the kitchen counter.”

    Me: “One of what things?”

    Customer: *annoyed* “You know, it goes on the kitchen counter, for things?”

    Me: “Do you mean a drying rack?”

    Customer: “No! Not a drying rack! GOD! It goes on the counter; you put the things in it? You know for, like, the mix-y and the… the scoopy and the… STUFF!”

    Stock Employee: “Ma’am? The item you’re looking for is in kitchen storage. *points to the aisle* Right over there, it’ll be about halfway down on your left. ”

    Customer: “THANK YOU!” *glares at me, then stomps off*

    Me: “How did you—”

    Stock Employee: “I have a second job as a bartender. I don’t speak ‘Idiot’ but I DO speak ‘Drunk,’ and it’s nearly the same thing.”

    Found This Most Uninformative

    | TX, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I have sent an email to a sales rep asking for more information before I can set up a user to the website. The first message asks for the following: First Name, Last Name, Email, and if the customer should be invoiced. The following is a two-day email thread that continues after the initial message.)

    Sales Rep: “Is it done yet?”

    Me: “No. You still need to fill in the information I have requested. I can’t create a login until I have the info.”

    Sales Rep: “My customer wants to place an order. Are you done?”

    Me: “I need the customer’s First Name, Last Name, Email Address, and if the customer wants to be invoiced.”

    Sales Rep: “Yes.”

    Me: “Okay… Yes, what? That did not answer any of the questions. Let me call you and ask for the info.”

    (I call and leave voicemails on the rep’s office line and personal cell phone. She never calls me back, so this continues to the next email.)

    Me: “You did not answer your phone, so I am emailing again. I need the customer’s First Name, Last Name, Email Address, and if we need to invoice the customer.”

    Sales Rep: “Yes. Do that.”

    Me: *sadly realizing that I have to spell it out* “What is the customer’s first name?”

    Sales Rep: “Jeremy.”

    Me: “Okay. What is his last name?”

    Sales Rep: “[Last Name].”

    Me: “Great. Now, what is his email address?”

    Sales Rep: “It is [Email Address].”

    Me: “All right! One more question. Does the customer want to be invoiced?”

    Sales Rep: “Yes.”

    Me: “I can set up the account now. Here is the login information…”

    Sales Rep: “About time! Why did you take so long?”


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