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    Category: Coworkers

    Needs To Install Some Intelligence

    | England, UK | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

    Me: “Okay, if you could just try coming out of the software and going back into it I’ll see what happens my end.”

    (Long pause.)

    User: “Okay I’ve uninstalled it. Now what?”

    Playing Them At Their Own Game

    | Europe | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Ignoring/Inattentive, Technology

    (I work in a startup company with a boss who treats it like her own personal toy. While it may seem irrelevant, the fact is that her husband made enough money so that she could pretend to be an entrepreneur with no real consequences. We are creating a new “Facebook” for fitness instructors that would lead the Internet. While I am working and my coworker is creating 3D models, this conversation happens. She enters on Monday:)

    Boss: “Hey, yesterday I saw this really cool thing that you can move in front of your TV and it sees it. We should make a game about fitness!”

    Me: “Ah, that is probably Kinect. Well, while it is possible, I really doubt we can pull it off. Games are made by big companies with experience, but we have a three people team and two of them know nothing about programming and such… “

    Boss: “Well, have you looked into it? Why do you always dismiss it. If we made it, it would be BIG and you have to start thinking BIG!”

    (I stop talking and let her go on. After a while and to my surprise, my coworker, who is always quiet speaks up.)

    Coworker: “Actually, this sounds like a great idea. I am not sure how they do it, but we could probably do it.”

    (My jaw drops. My boss is happy and leaves.)

    Me: “Why in the world would you say that?”

    Coworker: “Well, you will have to join me in this “research.” I take it we will need about a week or so to realize it is not really possible and report to her accordingly.”

    (So we played with motion detection game for a week and while I was a little nervous about how we are going to tell her that it’s not that easy, she had already forgotten about that by Friday.)

    Drawer-ing Conclusions

    | Europe | Coworkers

    (Back from a business trip, I bought a crossword puzzle magazine to kill time during the flight. I didn’t finish all the puzzles, so I put it in my drawer.)

    Coworker: “Can I borrow your stapler?”

    Me: “Sure, help yourself. It’s in the first drawer at my desk.”

    Coworker: *opening drawer* “Uh-uh. You really shouldn’t do this.”

    Me: “I really shouldn’t do what?”

    Coworker: “Doing crosswords at your desk.”

    Me: “[Coworker], have you ever seen me slacking on the job? What makes you think all of a sudden I start doing crosswords at my desk?”

    Coworker: “There’s a magazine in your drawer!”

    Me: “There’s also a toilet paper roll in that drawer. Does that imply that I crap at the desk?”

    Please Hold For The Employee To Get Fired

    | Finland | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (We have a very lazy and uncaring worker at our call center. He often clocks in late and clocks out early.)

    Coworker: *answers a call* “Thank you. Your call is important to us. Please hold.” *turns on CD player so loud the caller can hear the music*

    Me: *gesturing* “What the h*** are you doing?!”

    Coworker: “I’m taking a coffee break now.”

    (A minute elapses…)

    Coworker: *turns the radio off* “All the representatives are busy at the moment. Please call later.” *hangs up*

    (He didn’t stay long.)

    Salsa Burn Return

    | OH, USA | Coworkers, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (My coworker handles defective merchandise claims in the back of our store. I am walking past her area and see a cart with a box for a rocking chair and ottoman (unassembled) that is quite heavy.)

    Me: “Hey, [Coworker], do you need help lifting that box out of the cart? I can get one of the un-loaders and we can get it for you.”

    Coworker: “Oh, no, I can get it. It’s actually not that heavy.”

    Me: “Really? I helped someone put one of these on a flat cart the other day and it was really heavy.”

    Coworker: *walks to the cart and picks up the box with one hand* “See! It’s like it’s … Oh, no!”

    (We put the box on the ground and cut the tape sealing the top of the box to open it, finding that the box was empty except for a trash bag full of smashed salsa bottles.)

    Coworker: “I thought I smelled salsa. This is ridiculous.”

    Me: *looking at the front of the box where the slip from the Customer Service Desk was taped on* “I’m calling the front.”

    Front Desk Worker: “This is [Front Desk Worker]. How can I help?”

    Me: “Hey, it’s [My Name] and [Coworker] back in claims. Did you guys just return a rocking chair and ottoman?”

    Front Desk Worker: “Yes, I did. They said it was broken.”

    Me: “Did you look at it or take it out of the cart to make sure the chair was actually there?”

    Front Desk Worker: “No. I couldn’t lift the box if I tried. You know how heavy they are.”

    Me: “Well, you wouldn’t have had a problem lifting this one…”

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