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    Category: Coworkers

    One Day Her Prints Will Come

    | MI, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (A coworker of mine was recently promoted to replace her supervisor, who had left the company quickly and unexpectedly. Although the coworker is diligent and devoted, she lacks the background and training to be effective in her new role. In particular, she has no skill whatsoever with technology. I’m male and under the age of 50, so I’m her go-to person for tech questions.)

    Coworker: “[My Name], can you show me how to change the toner in the printer?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    (I show her how to change the toner cartridge, which is pretty easy given that there are instructions on the box and the printer, and the whole process has only four steps. Three days later:)

    Coworker: “[My Name], can you change the cartridge? It’s out again.”

    Me: “Okay… let me show you how.”

    (I show her again how to change the cartridge, explaining each step. A week after that:)

    Coworker: “[My Name], I’m gonna need help with that printer again.”

    (I sigh deeply, resigning myself to changing her printer cartridge every few days. A few more days pass:)

    Coworker: “[My Name]?”

    Me: “The printer?”

    Coworker: “Oh, no, I finally got that figured out.”

    Me: “Okay, great; what can I help with?”

    Coworker: “My stapler is jammed.”

    Me: *facepalm in despair*

    Shoulda Woulda Coulda

    | WI, USA | Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I work in a factory that makes paper products such as plates and napkins. This takes place between a coworker and another employee who is being trained to operate a machine. The wrapper on the machine is currently being worked on by maintenance. The operator is watching the repairs while the trainee is wandering around sweeping when he should be learning.)

    Operator: *to trainee* “You should be over here watching them fix this.”

    Trainee: *looks over and continues what he is doing*

    (About ten minutes later:)

    Operator: *to trainee* “You should really be over here watching this.”

    Trainee: *continues sweeping*

    (The operator, who I know is one of the most patient operators in the entire plant, continues working with maintenance on the wrapper until the department supervisor shows up and he has a chance to relay what happened to her.)

    Supervisor: “[Trainee], why didn’t you go over and watch what they were working on?”

    Trainee: “Well, he said I SHOULD, not that I HAVE to.”

    Don’t Pull Any Punches With God

    | MI, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Religion

    (I have just finished briefly talking to one of my coworkers, who is a bit obnoxious at times. I’m headed back to my station when another coworker leans over to say something to me as I pass by.)

    Coworker: “I’m going to punch him.”

    Me: “Why?”

    Coworker: “I don’t know. I mean, God told me to do it. I have to punch him.”

    Me: “Well… I guess I can’t stand in the way of God.”

    The Family Weather Report

    | Fort Lauderdale, FL, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Movies & TV

    (My coworker is an attorney. He’s walking in from lunch.)

    Coworker: “It looks like it’s going to rain.”

    Me: “Um, say it right, please!”

    Coworker: *as Ollie Williams from Family Guy* “It’s gon’ rain!”

    Me: “That’s better.”

    Totally Wigging Out

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Family & Kids, Holidays

    (It’s Halloween and I’m dressed up as Moss from ‘The IT Crowd,’ complete with the goofy afro parted to the side. One of my coworkers brings her daughter in.)

    Coworker’s Daughter: “I want your hair.”

    Me: “Oh, you do, huh?” *I yank off my wig and hand it to her* “Here you go.”

    Coworker’s Daughter: “YAAAAYY!” *grabs the wig and runs off with it*

    Me: “I’m gonna want that back in a bit…”

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