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    Category: Coworkers

    An Urgent Lack Of Urgency

    | Manchester, England, UK | Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I work on the help desk at a hospital. A friend of mine in another department is on her last day with the organisation, and as she can’t be replaced, the clinical service she runs is being shut down. She calls me about 30 minutes before she’s due to leave forever because she can’t access her voicemail. She needs to record a new message to tell any patients who call that her service has been discontinued. There is no one else who can leave the message after she’s gone, so I call  the telecoms guy on his mobile and after telling her to ring me back if there’s any other issues I put her straight through. I tell my colleague my friend’s name, how urgent it’d be if she rang back, and why. About 20 minutes later, I hear this…)

    Colleague: “Okay, so your name is [Friend]? Okay… and you were just talking to [My Name]?”

    (I assume something’s gone wrong, so I get up, walk across the office and stand right next to my colleague so I can take the call from her.)

    Colleague: *completely ignoring me* “Okay, so the telecoms guy said he’d sorted it but it’s still not sorted. I’ve logged that job for you. … [My Name]? No, he’s not in the office right now. Okay, have a good day, bye!”

    (She turns to me then, big proud smile on her face.)

    Colleague: “And that’s how you fob someone off!”

    (I just stand there speechless for a moment.)

    Me: “But I told you she was my friend, and there’s literally only 10 minutes left to solve her problem, why did you do that?!”

    Colleague: “Oh, I forgot.”

    (She goes back to looking at her screen, not a care in the world.)

    A Disarming Calming

    | Austin, TX, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Language & Words

    (It’s a busy Friday night and our support staff is hitting a few snags. I am also easily frustrated.)

    Me: *ranting to no one in particular* “I don’t know what the f*** is wrong with the hosts tonight. I’m gonna choke-slam someone. Why isn’t this food going out? We can’t just… What the H***! Why is… ugh!”

    Coworker:Goosfrabaaaaaa. Shhh. Goosfraba.” *walks away and delivers an order to a table…*

    This Scam Has Been Going Around

    | PA, USA | Coworkers, Criminal/Illegal, Employees

    (I work at an insurance agency for the summer doing random tasks around the office. The office is in a converted house, with a few desks in each room and large open doorways in between to talk to each other. There is also an upstairs that is technically another business but employs the same people. I start answering phones because everyone else is busy.)

    Me: “[Insurance Agency], how may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi! I’m calling from your copier supply company. We just need to update our records. Can I please have the model number of your copier?”

    Me: “Um, sure. Hang on a second.”

    (I place the call on hold and tell one of the ladies next to me what’s going on. She laughs and tells me it’s a scam and I should just hang up, which I do. A few days later…)

    Me: “[Insurance Agency], how may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi! I’m calling from your copier supply company. We just need to update our records. Could you tell me the model number of your copier?”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I’m not the person you want to speak with. Please hold, I’ll transfer you.”

    (I transferred the call to the desk next to me. After speaking to the caller, my coworker put the caller on hold and transferred him. We managed to transfer him to six different people, including people upstairs, before he hung up. It became our favorite game. Our record was 10 transfers, including back to the original person who had answered.)

    Tip-Top Dancing

    | KY, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Theme Of The Month

    (I’ve always been oblivious to the people around me and hard to embarrass. Not in a bad way but I’ll frequently find myself dancing to music being played in a public place (like a grocery store) or making weird faces at my coworkers within clear view of customers. This happened as I was putting in an order for one of my tables. Note: the music in the restaurant was a mix of 80s and 90s pop – pretty much what I grew up listening to.)

    Coworker: “Hey! My table wants to ask you something.”

    Me: “Okay… What is it? Is it bad?”

    Coworker: “Just come over here.”

    Me: *to table of guests* “Hi! What can I do for you?”

    Table: “Hey! Yeah, we were wondering if you could do that dance you were just doing again?!”

    Me: “What?”

    Coworker: “Yeah, when you were putting in your tables’ order you were dancing to the song…”

    Me: “Oh!” *blushing* “Did it go like this…?”

    (I do a pared down version of what I think I was doing earlier.)

    Table: “Yeah! That was it! Thanks so much. That’s hilarious!”

    (They ended up leaving me a $5 tip with my coworker!)

    Don’t Fall Behind On The Schedule

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I work in a meat department at a big name store. None of the people who work at night are trained to use the saws, so they start having one of the trained people come in at night. We never really know which one, so we have a tendency to ask another night clerk in the department.)

    Me: *stocking the cases*

    Coworker: “Hey, who’s working with us tonight?”

    Me: “[Department Head].”

    Coworker: “D*** it! I hate working with him!”!

    Me: “Um…”

    Coworker: “It’s just so annoying!”

    Me: “…he’s right behind you.”

    Department Head: *stocking another shelf nearby, and turns to say* “That was actually pretty funny!”


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