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  • September's Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: Criminal/Illegal

    Quit When You Reach Your Tea Total

    | Czech Republic | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Criminal/Illegal

    (I worked in the tea house but quit because of our boss’ made up a lot of new crazy rules I wasn’t willing to obey. One day I went to see my former co-workers and this happened.)

    Boss: “Hey, [Coworker], why did you rearrange the boxes with tea again?”

    Coworker: “It was arranged according the types of tea for ages. Why did you change it?”

    Boss: “I want it according the colours of boxes. Now it looks better.”

    Coworker: “They are under the counter, no one sees that, and I can’t find a thing that way.”

    Boss: “Doesn’t matter.”

    (5 minutes later:)

    Boss: “[Coworker], you gave that man three pieces of tomato with his couscous. I told you to give two.”

    Coworker: “It was really small tomato so I gave him three.”

    Boss: “I don’t care about the size of tomato. You gave him three!”

    (10 minutes later:)

    Boss: “[Coworker], ask that woman if she wants to order something.”

    Coworker: “She just finished her coffee.”

    Boss: “Doesn’t matter. If she doesn’t order something make her go away.”

    Coworker: “There are only four people. You want me to kick her out because of that? She is talking to her friend who has a tea. They are paying customers.”

    Boss: “I don’t care. Get the order or kick her out.” *walks away*

    Me: “That’s why I quit.”

    Coworker: “One more thing and I’m out. Pay isn’t good either.”

    (15 minutes later:)

    Boss: “[Coworker], you talked with those ladies for seven minutes!”

    Coworker: “What’s the problem?”

    Boss: “You can talk with customer for three minutes max.”

    Coworker: “Eh? Why? They are here for the first time and asked me about our menu. I tried to help them choose the tea they would like.”

    Boss: “You can’t chit chat with the customers. You have to be behind the counter and look professional.”

    Coworker: “I can’t change my shift, I can’t take a break when I need, and now I can’t even talk to the customers?”

    Boss: “Right. And don’t forget to update our Facebook so people know about our new menu.”

    Coworker: “Okay. I quit. [My Name], let’s go.” *he takes off his apron*

    Boss: “You can’t do that! You have to finish your shift! I can force you to finish your shift!”

    Coworker: “Make me.”

    Can’t Get Unstuck From Them

    | VA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Transportation

    (I get my car inspected in another state at [Bad Repair Company]. I suspect it has issues and it fails the inspection. The registration is also soon to expire, but not for another month.)

    Employee: “We can fix it for $300.”

    Me: “What? No. I’ll take it up the road. Wait, where’s my registration sticker?”

    Employee: “We have to scrape all stickers. It’s the law.”

    Me: “No! I need the registration sticker. Even after it’s repaired I’ll still need it! It’s illegal to scrape those!”

    Manager: “What’s the problem?”

    Me: “Where’s my registration sticker? Why would you scrape that?!”

    Manager: “NO! It’s the LAW! We have to scrape ALL stickers!”

    Me: “That wasn’t an inspection sticker. It was a REGISTRATION STICKER issued by my state. That’s illegal to scrape!”

    Manager: “NO! I KNOW THE LAW!”

    (After more arguing they finally gave me the scraps of my registration sticker, which somewhat still had my information on it, and I drove off. After that I was even MORE determined to have someone more knowledgeable repair my car, and went to someone else to get it re-inspected afterwards.)

    Get Your Tax Facts

    | MI, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Money

    (I got a call on my cell phone from a person with a strong Indian accent on a line with noticeable static.)

    Scammer: “Hello, is this [My Name]?”

    Me: “Yes. What can I do for you?”

    Scammer: “This is Agent [Scammer] from the IRS, I am calling to tell you that you owe a significant amount in taxes for the last year and if you do not pay as soon as possible, you may be arrested.”

    Me: “I don’t think—”

    Scammer: *interrupting* “In fact, there is already a warrant out for your arrest. Do you have a pen and paper? Your case number is [long code including both numbers and letters]. Did you get that?”

    Me: “Yes, but—”

    Scammer: *interrupting again* “We can take a partial payment today and set up a plan so that no arrest needs to be made. You do owe a large amount to the government.”

    (Finally he paused enough for me to speak.)

    Me: “That seems highly unlikely.”

    Scammer: “Oh, why is that?”

    Me: “Because my taxes were filed by a professional and as I am unemployed, I had almost no income last year.”

    (There was no further response and he hung up immediately.)

    Musically Arrested

    | Whitehorse, YK, Canada | Criminal/Illegal, Musical Mayhem

    (I am working the door at a karaoke bar, which is perfect for me because I love to break out into song at random times. Because we have a couple unruly patrons, the cops are called. When the officers arrive, I am outside on a smoke break and decide to have a little fun at them.)

    Me: *singing* “I shot the sheriff, but I didn’t shoot the deputy…”

    Police Officer: *without missing a beat, sings right back at me* “I fought the law, but the law won. I fought the law, but the law won!”

    That Taught Him A Lesson

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Criminal/Illegal, Employees

    (I look really young, around 16 or 18, but I’m actually 25. I just finished my schooling and have gotten my license to become a high school teacher. One of the perks is 15% off at the restaurant my fiancé and I are eating at.)

    Me: “Can we have the bill please? Oh, and I have a 15% off teacher discount.” *shows coupon code on phone*

    Waiter: “Oh, yes, one moment. I just need to clear it with my manager.”

    (The waiter leaves and after about five minutes comes back with the manager.)

    Manager: “I’m sorry, Miss, but this discount is for teachers.”

    Me: “I know. That’s why I’m using it.”

    Manager: “No, sweetie, it’s for the TEACHERS, not their friends and family. I’m sure you or your mom didn’t know.”

    Me: “Yeah, I know. I’m a high school teacher.”

    Manager: “Haha, good one. I’ve had a lot of kids try to get discounts over the years, but that one takes the cake!”

    Me: *pulls teaching license and photo ID out of wallet* “No, really, I’m a high school teacher.”

    Manager: “This teaching license only has a name. You probably just have the same name as your mother.”

    Me: “No, we don’t. Whatever, forget it. 15% isn’t worth the hassle.” *to fiancé* “Honey, it’s my turn to pay, right?”

    Fiancé: “Nope! I’m taking it this time. I owe you since I accidentally woke you up last night climbing into bed.”

    Manager: “Uh… I’ll be right back. I just noticed I made a mistake on your bill. Don’t move.”

    (We assumed that maybe the manager finally decided to give us the discount and don’t think twice. However, a few minutes later…)

    Security: “Sir, we’re gonna have to speak to you for a moment.”

    Me: “What’s the problem?”

    Security: “Oh, sweetie, nothing for you to worry about. We just want to ask your ‘friend’ a few questions. You’ll be perfectly safe and fine. How about you order yourself a little dessert, okay, honey?”

    Me: “First of all, that’s my FIANCÉ you’ve got there, and secondly, I think you owe both of us an explanation.”

    Security: “Wait a second… fiancé?” *looks at both of us, looks at the table, notices the wine bottle and the glasses, looks at us again* “Uh, miss, how old are you?”

    Me: “25. We were both ID’d when we ordered, so this better not be about the wine.”

    Security: “Oh, boy. Let me go get the manager…”

    (Turned out, the manager freaked when he heard that my fiancé [who is 30 and definitely looks like it] was climbing into bed with what he thought was a high school student [me] and got security to intervene while he called the police. Luckily he was still on the phone when the security guard went to find him, so the cops were never actually involved. The manager never noticed the alcohol on the table [meaning I was at least 19 and very much legal] and failed to notice my birthday on my photo ID when trying to argue that I wasn’t a teacher. All he saw was “some kid trying to get a discount.” We ended up getting the entire meal for free for our trouble!)


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