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Featured Story:
  • Swearing You Into A Job
    (1,275 thumbs up)
  • Category: Criminal/Illegal

    Scammers Talk In A Different Toner

    | MI, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Liars/Scammers, Top

    (I’m the accounts payable clerk for a local branch of a large company. I receive an invoice from a company I’ve never heard of, billing us for toner. This is odd, as our company-wide lease contract for our copiers includes toner, so we’ve never bought any. I investigate, and determine a scammer had hooked an unwitting night-shift receptionist by claiming to be our ‘usual supplier’ and offering a ‘limited time offer, only good tonight’ deal. FTC rules prohibit ‘unfair or deceptive’ business practices, which includes this scam. FTC rules also say that merchandise sent as part of a of fraud is legally considered a gift and does not need to be returned. I shred the scam invoice, but the scammer starts calling to dun us for payment on the toner. I played along at first…)

    Scammer: “When can we expect payment for the shipment?”

    Me: “Here’s the problem: we have no record of this purchase, or of the shipment. Who did you say placed the order?”

    Scammer: “[Name of night-shift receptionist.]”

    Me: “She doesn’t have the authority to order anything.”

    Scammer: “Oh, okay. We’ll make sure we go through the right channels next time. I just need you to pay for the order we already sent.”

    Me: “Let me make sure I understand. You cold-called our night shift receptionist, falsely purported to be our supplier, and, on her verbal agreement, without a purchase order or any other documentation from us, you shipped hundreds of dollars worth of product across the country to a company with which you have no contract and no existing relationship?”

    Scammer: *silence*

    Me: “If you’re not a con artist, you’re simply too dumb to be in business.”

    Scammer: “F*** you!”

    Booze, You Lose

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Employees

    (I’m at a convenience store, down an aisle that has chips and beef jerky along one side and wine along the other. I’m debating over chips. I am very obviously no longer a teenager.)

    Cashier: “Hey!”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Cashier: “Hey! You! Get the f*** out of that aisle!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Cashier: “Don’t you know it’s illegal for kids to go down the booze aisle?”

    Me: “One: no, it’s not. Two: I’m not a kid. I’m almost 30.”

    Cashier: “It’s illegal! I’m not losing my f****** job if some cop sees you.”

    Manager: *who has been right behind the cashier the whole time* “Actually, she’s right, and you’re right to worry about your job, but not because of her. Let’s go talk in the back.”

    (He still works there, but he gives me a death glare every time he sees me.)

    Courting Their Own Court Date

    | MO, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Money

    (While on break, I see I’ve missed a call and have a voicemail. The message is from a man, who threatens to come to my house and haul me to jail for missing several past court dates. He informs me I have 24 hours to turn myself in or face additional charges. He does not identify me by name or state my address, but I am nonetheless freaked out. I immediately dial the number he left.)

    Employee: “Hello, this is [Bonds Company]. How can I help you?”

    Me: “Someone who works for you just left me a message threatening to arrest me! Why are you calling me?”

    Employee: “What is your case number?”

    Me: “I don’t have a case number, but he left this one.” *gives case number* “What’s going on?”

    Employee: “Are you [Man's Name]?”

    Me: “No.”

    Employee: “Do you know [Man's Name]”

    Me: “No.”

    Employee: “Are you related to [Man's Name]?”

    Me: “How can I be related to him if I don’t know him?! I don’t know who the h*** this guy is.”

    Employee: “Then why did you call?”

    Me: “As I said, someone on your end called my phone and left a threatening message to drag me to jail for missing court dates. He didn’t ask for a name, let alone [Man's Name], nor state my address, but it obviously worried me. I called to figure out what the h*** is going on.”

    Employee: “Well, do you live at [address in Virginia]?”

    Me: “No, I’m in Missouri.”

    Employee: “Well, this is the number we have on file for him.”

    Me: “I’ve had this number for the past two years. I’m living in Missouri. I have never heard of [Man's Name] and as far as I know, I’m not being accused of anything. Now, your employee threatened me and scared me, so take my phone number off right now.”

    Employee: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We can’t do that. Not until [Man's Name] comes in to fulfill his court dates.”

    Me: “Fine. How’s about I charge you for threatening and duress? I still have the message saved.”

    Employee: “… I’ll just take you off then.”

    Web Of Lies

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Extra Stupid, Liars/Scammers, Technology

    (I work on a technical support help desk. One day, I get a call from a phone number that is all zeros (000-000-0000). Confused, I answer the phone.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling the [Company] help desk. This is [My Name].”

    Caller: *with heavy foreign accent* “Hello? Yes. I am with Microsoft and I am calling to tell you there is a problem with your computer.”

    (I think to myself, ‘did he not catch the part where he called a tech support center?’)

    Me: *deciding to mess with him* “I had no idea! What do you need me to do?”

    Caller: “I need you to go to your computer.”

    Me: “Okay, I’m there.”

    Caller: “Now please open a web browser.”

    Me: “A what?”

    Caller: “A web browser to go on the internet. Maybe you have Internet Explorer or Foxfire.”

    Me: “What’s the internet? I don’t think I have one of those.”

    Caller: *click*

    Me: *to my coworkers* “Guys, you’ll never believe who just called the help desk…”

    Security Insecurity

    | TN, USA | Coworkers, Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid

    (I work at a rural convenience store. Several other stores in a nearby town had been robbed during the overnight shift, and a new policy has been instituted in order to help identify thieves when they are caught. However, this will only work if the thieves don’t know about it, so we’re forbidden to tell the customers. I usually work third shift, but on this occasion I am covering second for a vacationing coworker.)

    Coworker: *to a customer* “…so, see, that way we’ll know they’re the ones who robbed us.”

    (The customer leaves.)

    Me: “Hey, dude, you’re not supposed to tell people that!”

    Coworker: “So? It’s not like I’m going to get robbed. They only rob the overnight.”

    Me: “[Coworker]! I might get robbed!”

    Coworker: “Oh, yeah…”


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