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    Category: Employees

    Dire Directions

    | Paramus, NJ, USA | Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (We are going to a kosher supermarket but are unsure how to get there, so I call to get directions.)

    Employee: “Thank you for calling [Supermarket]. How may I help you?”

    Me: “How do we get to you from the George Washington bridge?”

    Employee: *completely deadpan* “You drive.”

    Me: “Yeah, I know. How do I drive there?”

    Employee: *still completely deadpan* “In a car.”

    Me: “Can I speak to someone else, please?”

    (The new employee gave me directions.)

    Death Of A Telesalesman

    | CA, USA | Employees, Family & Kids

    (A few years ago, after my mom passes away, I spend a lot of time cleaning out her apartment. The phone rings.)

    Caller: “Is [Mom] available?”

    Me: “This is her daughter. Could I ask how you know my mother?”

    Caller: “I have a great deal to offer her on her long distance service.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, my mother passed away a few days ago. Please remove her from your list.”

    Caller: “So, are you the one making the decisions about long distance service?”

    Me: *swears at the guy and hangs up*


    | PA, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Technology

    (I’m calling my husband’s new doctor’s office to confirm that they received his records from the previous doctor’s office.)

    Me: “Hi. This [My Name]. I’m calling to see if you received my husband’s medical records.”

    (I tell them my husband’s info.)

    Receptionist: “No, they have not faxed his records over.”

    (I call the other doctor’s office and ask why they have not sent his records over. They tell me that they have and I ask how long ago. The receptionist there tells me it was over a week and a half ago. I ask if they were faxed and she tells me that they don’t do that; they put his records on a CD and mailed them.)

    Me: “I called a little while ago about my husband’s records and you told you did not get them. Well, I spoke to the other doctor’s office and they did send them via mail over a week and a half ago. They sent a CD.”

    Receptionist: “Well, why wouldn’t they just fax them?!”

    Me: “I don’t know. Apparently they don’t do that there.”

    Receptionist: “Why not?!”

    Me: “Again, you would have to ask them that since I don’t work there.”

    Receptionist: “Well, what are we supposed to do with a CD?!”

    Me: “Um… put it in the computer and read it?”

    Receptionist: “Hmph!” *grumbling*

    Me: “Can you please just check to see if it was received?”

    Receptionist: “One moment.” *pause* “I checked with the doctor. It was already on her desk and she’ll take care of it.”

    Me: *head-desk*

    No Sign That They Read The Sign

    | TX, USA | Employees, Food & Drink

    (There is a blanket-term for my local eateries’ signature dishes, named after the founder’s daughter. More than once, if we order exactly as it’s phrased on the menu, we’re given blank looks and told the item doesn’t exist.)

    Me: “I’d like a [Signature Dessert] Shake.”

    Employee: “We don’t have a [Signature Dessert] shake. We have [Signature Dessert], but no shake of it.”

    (The employee was standing under the sign that said “[Signature Dessert] shake,” and if you looked over at the end of the counter, there was a five-foot-tall advertising banner that used the exact same phrasing. This sadly happened with other menu items with regularity at this location.)

    Locked Up In The Tower Of London

    | London, England, UK | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Tourists & Travel

    (I am on a study abroad trip in England and am at the Tower of London on a Saturday. My friend and I are heading towards the exit since the Tower is closing.)

    Guard: *sticks her head inside the bathroom* “Is anyone in here?”

    (She then slams the gate in the bathroom doorway shut.)

    Me: *smiling* “I hope the answer was no!”

    (The guard looks at me for a moment then…)

    Guard: “Tough!”

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