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    Category: Employees

    Runs A Clean Business

    , | Seattle, WA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Employees

    (My husband runs his own business out of our spare room which has been turned into his office. Although he has no employees other than himself he likes to refer to himself as the CEO. On the day in question he is doing some spring cleaning. The home phone rings.)

    Me: “Hello?”

    Friend: “Is the CEO around?”

    Me: “No, he’s not here right now, but you can speak to [Husband] the janitor.”

    Aggravating But Also Aware

    | TX, USA | Employees, Language & Words

    (A number of years ago I was doing some service work for a particularly obnoxious client. I had done work for him before, and he was always obnoxious.)

    Me: “And here’s your invoice.”

    Customer: “I noticed this on previous invoices and wondered what the 10% A & I charge was for.”

    Me: “That’s an ‘aggravation and irritation’ charge for having to deal with your sorry personality.”

    Customer: “I can understand that. You do good work and are reliable, so keep charging that and I’ll keep calling you.”

    Saved By The Bell

    | USA | Employees

    (I am working the front desk at a hotel.)

    Me: “Front desk. How can I help you?”

    Guest: *speaking quickly* “Need a bellman, please.”

    Me: “Certainly, what room?”

    Guest: “…I don’t know.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I need a room number to send him to.”

    Guest: “No, no. I need a bellman, please.”

    Me: “Yes, but where are you? What room are you staying in?”

    Guest: “What? No, I’m not staying in the hotel. I just need you to transfer me. I need a bellman.”

    Me: “Transfer you? I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand. You want me to put a bellman on the phone?”

    Guest: *enunciating clearly* “Please transfer me to Doctor Anita Bellman’s room.”

    Me: “OH! Oh, my god! I’m sorry! Right away!”

    Eyebrow Low-Brow

    | Reading, England, UK | Employees, Health & Body

    (I go to a beauty salon to get my eyebrows waxed. I’d only been to this place once before.)

    Beautician: “Are you ready to come downstairs?”

    Me: “Yep.”

    (I follow her down to the waxing room.)

    Beautician: “Have you been with us before?”

    Me: “Yeah, just once.”

    Beautician: “Oh, okay. Who were you with last time? Was it me or [Coworker]?”

    Me: “It was [Coworker].”

    Beautician: “Okay.” *she starts laying out various items on the bed* “There’s your towel to cover your legs when you get under the bed.”

    (This really confuses me, but I don’t say anything. She put baby wipes on the bed as well.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. [Coworker] didn’t give me any of this stuff last time.”

    Beautician: “Oh! Okay, well the wipes are for sanitary reasons. It’s important that you’re clean down there—”

    Me: *mortified* “Um… I’m here for an EYEBROW waxing!”

    (The beautician freezes before we both burst out laughing.)

    Beautician: “You have just made my day!”

    BLT, Better Luck Tomorrow, Part 2

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m at the coffee/sandwich shop next door to where I work. The barista at the till is sort of new, but I assumed she had a good handle on things by now.)

    Me: “Hello, I’d like a BLT.”

    Barista: “So, sausage on that, right?”

    Me: “That would make it an SLT.”

    Barista: “No, it’s a BLT. Says so on the board.”

    (A few seconds pass.)

    Barista: “…Oh, I get it! The bacon kind, then.”


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