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    Category: Employees

    The Employee And The Hummus Have A Code

    | ACT, Australia | At The Checkout, Employees, Technology

    (My husband and I are shopping for groceries and find my preferred hummus is on sale, with a weird really long barcode on it. I wonder if it will cause problems at the checkout, but grab two anyway. When we are done shopping we head to the self-serve checkouts. Note there is one staff member for nine of these checkouts.)

    Me: *gets up to hummus and it won’t scan* “D***, it doesn’t like my hummus!”

    (I try scanning it a few more times and then give up. I look around for the staff member. Just then the staff member walks by me and tells her nearest colleague that she is ducking out. My hand is up to signal her but I drop it, presuming she hasn’t seen me. On her way out she looks back and makes eye contact with me before hurrying away.)

    Me: *deflated* “Well, what the h*** do I do now?”

    (The machine, which had been mostly silent, suddenly speaks up…)

    Machine: “Type in the code, or look up item.”

    (My husband and I look at each other before bursting out laughing. I type in the massive code, and it works. I then have to repeat this for the other hummus. Luckily the sale price is applied properly and I don’t have to retype it. We finish up, pay and collect our groceries. As we are walking out, the staff member comes back into the store, and quickly averts her eyes.)

    Me: “Did she somehow intuitively know my hummus was a problem and avoided us?”

    Husband: *shrug* “It doesn’t matter; the machine knew what was going on.”

    Working Against The Clock

    | Berkshire County, MA, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, History, Technology

    (I am 15, and I have a cheap digital watch that has stopped working. My dad offers to pay for a replacement battery since he is going to the store to buy a replacement band for my mother’s favorite watch, an old-fashioned wind-up watch that used to belong to her father. There are two people working the jewelry counter at this department store, an older gentleman, who was helping out a family, and a girl maybe two or three years older than I am.)

    Dad: “I would like a replacement battery for this watch.” *hands her mine* “…and a black leather band that is the same size as the broken one on this watch” *hands her my mom’s*

    (My dad and I start discussing the other stops we need to make, and are not paying attention to the girl behind the counter. My dad glances her way and immediately cries out in surprise since she is jamming a screwdriver into the seam of my mother’s watch trying to pry the back panel off of it.)

    Dad: “Wait, what are you doing?!”

    Clerk: *surprised at being challenged* “I’m trying to change the battery.”

    Dad: “Only the smaller one needs a battery; that one just needs a new band.”

    Clerk: *slowly, and condescending* “This one needs a battery, too.”

    Dad: “No, it doesn’t. It only needs a band.”

    (The clerk turns the watch over and points to the (not running) watch.)

    Clerk: “If the little hands on the watch are not moving, it is because the watch needs a new battery.”

    (My dad is not known for his patience, so I decide now would be a good time to jump in before something gets broken. The other clerk behind the counter and the family he was with heard enough of the exchange that they were now watching us as well.)

    Me: “That watch belonged to my grandfather and was made before batteries were invented.”

    Clerk: *sneering* “Well, then, how does it go?”

    (I take the watch from her, wind it a couple times, and hand the (now running) watch back to her.)

    Clerk: *baffled* “Well… then… how does it go?”

    (I explain to her how there is a spring in the watch that you wind up, and as the spring slowly unwinds it powers the watch. At this point the other clerk had finished the transaction for the other family and they all joined us at our end of the counter.)

    Clerk: *still not getting it* “But how does it go?”

    (The older clerk motions us over his side of the counter where he replaces the band on the watch. The other family (which included children younger than I am, but knew full well that some old watches ran without batteries) begin trying to explain to the younger clerk how a wind-up watch works – she is still obviously not getting it. My dad pays for everything and as we are leaving we heard the young clerk one last time.)

    Clerk: “But how does it go?”

    Almost Reached My Limit With You

    | Belmont, CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Technology

    (I enter the local cell phone store to change from a family plan to an individual plan. It is only my sister, my cousin, and I on the plan and my cousin has left many months ago. I take a number and wait my turn. Finally a young guy comes over, mumbles something, and walks away. I don’t hear what he said so I kind of follow him. He looks up my account on his computer.)

    Worker: “Wow, you have a lot of people on this family plan.”

    (He says this as though I should be ashamed for scamming this conglomerate by starting a family plan with a bunch of friends or something.)

    Me: “Oh, really? There should only be two, or three at most.”

    (I figured my cousin’s name might be showing up, too, but am still not sure why three people is a lot for a family plan?!)

    Worker: “Well, the limit is four.”

    Dealing With An Old Bag

    | Alpena, MI, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

    (I am about 15, and am just starting to get into drawing, so I usually carry some paper around with me on a clipboard. However, the clipboard has just broken, so I am using a thick book as a hard surface to draw on. Without thinking, I take my stack of paper and the book into the bookstore at the mall, and buy a comic book.)

    Cashier: “Hey, you can’t bring another book in here!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I forgot I had it with me.”

    (I hand her my money. She starts to put my comic book in a bag.)

    Me: “That’s okay. I won’t need a bag, thanks.”

    (I start to take the comic book out of the bag. She grabs it from me and slams it back into the bag along with my receipt.)

    Cashier: “Yes, you DO! Everyone leaves here with a bag! Now TAKE IT!”

    Credit Him With Chauvinism

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Rude & Risque

    (I receive a robo-call about reducing my credit interest rate and ask to speak to a human. Upon answering the transaction goes as follows.)

    Me: “Hello, please remove me from your call list since I own no credit cards.”

    Him: “Well, what about your husband?”

    Me: “I have no husband.”

    Him: “Well, what about a boyfriend?”

    Me: “No, not one of those either.”

    Him: “What size are your boobs, honey?”

    (I am speechless for 10 seconds before I hang up. I would have complained but it was a private number and obviously at a call center overseas.)


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