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    Category: Employees

    Should Switch To De-Cath

    | UK | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (My brother has just had a hospital procedure which means he has to have a urinary catheter for a week or so. He is just about to leave hospital, and the nurse is checking the catheter and the attached urine collection bag, which is strapped to his leg.)

    Brother: “So, how do I shower with this?”

    Nurse: “You can just disconnect the bag, and let the catheter drip while you’re in the shower. Then put the bag on again afterwards.”

    Brother: “So, I should just leave the end of the catheter exposed?”

    Nurse: “Yes, it won’t matter if urine comes out, you are in the shower after all.”

    Brother: “But the doctor said anytime I disconnected the bag, I had to make sure and follow sterile procedures to avoid infection.”

    Nurse: “Yes, that’s right.”

    Brother: “So if I get in the shower with the end of the catheter exposed, how is that sterile? Won’t it expose me to infection?”

    Nurse: “Of course! You should never do that, you’ll cause infection.”

    Brother: “So, um, how should I shower then?”

    Nurse: “With the bag attached, of course. You can change it afterwards. You should never leave the open catheter exposed.”

    Brother: “You do realise you just contradicted yourself?”

    Nurse: “What?”

    Brother: “Never mind…”

    We’ll Always Have Paris Websites

    | England, UK | Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful, Tourists & Travel

    Me: “Hi. We are looking for a short break in Paris, but don’t know where. What can you recommend?”

    Travel Agent: “Well, err, I…” *opens the website* “Well, there are lots of hotels we cover.”

    Me: “Yes, we did see the website, but never having been there before, some basic idea of English speaking areas and what there is to do would be a great help.”

    Travel Agent: “Well…” *opens the first page* “…this looks nice.” *reads straight from the site* “—Is in walking distance of the ‘arc duh tiamp.'”

    Me: “Okay, again we did see the website, but as a travel agent can you give us any more information?”

    Travel Agent: “Uh…” *reading again from the website* “It has a bar and…”

    Me: “Okay, thanks. I think we will take a look ourselves.             ”

    Travel Agent: *visibly relieved* “If I can help you any more, please just ask. Oh, and ask for my name when you want to book.”

    (We didn’t return, and ended up booking ourselves. We had a great time and paid less than if we booked through them.)

    Lacking Some Nuggets Of Understanding

    , | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (Every Saturday my mom takes me, my grandma, and my sister to the mall for lunch. When we get lunch, my sister wants the same thing at the same fast food restaurant every time. Usually the workers there are plenty polite and we get our food relatively fast, except for this one time…)

    Mom: “Hello, we’d like a six-piece nugget meal, some orange juice, and some ketchup.”

    Employee: “Hi, what would you like to order?”

    Mom: “We’d like a six-piece-nugget meal, some orange juice, and some ketchup.”

    Employee: “A six-piece nugget meal?”

    Mom: “I’d like a six-piece nugget meal, some orange juice, and some ketchup, please.”

    Employee: “What drink?”

    Mom: *in a slightly exasperated voice* “Orange juice. I’d also like some ketchup.”

    Employee: “Would you like any sauce?”

    Mom: *sighs* “Ketchup.”

    Employee: “So you want a six-piece nugget meal, orange juice, and ketchup?”

    Mom: “Yes!”

    Employee: “Your total is [amount].”

    Mom: *pays*

    (We leave with our food and join our grandma, who has the rest of our food. That never happened to us again. I guess the guy was either new or really zoned out that day!)

    A Very Petit Apocalypse

    | Arlington, TX, USA | Employees, Zombies

    (Our local amusement park has a special event going on in October where you can go to haunted houses and various employees are dressed up as zombies, ghouls, etc. Quite frequently they’ll walk up behind people in order to scare them. I’m a very petite woman so many of them think I’m an easy target.)

    Zombie: *coming up right beside me and in a creepy voice* “HELLO THERE!”

    Me: “Hi!”

    Zombie: *stares at me obviously a bit disappointed in my reaction*

    Me: “Lovely evening, isn’t it?”

    Zombie: “Shut up.” *walks away*

    A Sign Of Lying

    | Allentown, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I’m shopping at a big box retailer and am frustrated because out of ten possible registers, two are open and they each have lines ten customers deep. One of the closed registers is designated for 10 items or less. Despite there being no one at the register, I go and stand in line. Finally, someone sees me and comes over.)

    Employee: “Ma’am, this line isn’t open.”

    Me: “Are you telling me that the sign lies?”

    Employee: “What sign?”

    (I point above my head, where a large colorful sign proclaims that the register at which I’m standing is open every day from 10 am to 8 pm. It is the middle of the afternoon.)

    Me: “That sign. Is it lying?”

    Employee: “I… uh… if you’ll come over to customer service, ma’am, we’ll ring you up.”

    (The next time I went to that store, the sign had mysteriously been removed.)


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