• Very Genderal Humor
    (794 thumbs up)
  • October's Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Category: Employees

    Sounds Like Teen Spirit

    | NY, USA | Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful, Musical Mayhem

    (The store has renovated the teen section at the entrance to look like a club with TVs blasting music videos.)

    Mom: “This music is too loud!”

    Me: “Even I can’t stand this volume.”

    Mom: “Excuse me, miss? Does this music really have to be THIS loud?”

    Employee: “That’s how they do it now. The teens love it! I can’t change it.”

    Mom: “Well, I’m the one paying for these clothes. I won’t be coming back if I can’t even hear myself think.”

    Employee: *shrug* “…Okay.”

    (Within a month the music volume was set to a tolerable level. I imagine the corporation figured out that drawing in teens didn’t spike their profits with the rest of the customers being driven out.)

    Speaking Germaniac

    | Germany | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Employees, Language & Words

    (I moved to Germany quite recently and although I understand the language fairly well, I can only speak in simple sentences. I am also easily flustered. This happens at the university cafeteria, when I pick up a sandwich from the case and go to the counter to order a drink and pay for the items.)

    Me: *holding up the sandwich and in my best German* “Here, please, and an orange juice to go.”

    Grumpy Guy: *says something very fast in German, which I don’t understand*

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Grumpy Guy: *repeats the question equally fast, sounding irritated*

    Me: *getting flustered, but doing my best* “Sorry, I don’t understa—”

    Grumpy Guy: *cutting across me, still in German* “What. Kind. Of. SANDWICH, God d*** it!”

    Me: “Oh, it’s the tomato and cheese. And an orange juice to go, please.”

    (He glares at me, stomps off, and returns with the juice in a glass instead of a plastic cup.)

    Me: *increasingly flustered* “Sorry, I’d like that to go, please.”

    Grumpy Guy: “Argh, why the h*** didn’t you say so earlier?”

    (He stomps off again, muttering to himself and finally returning with the juice in a plastic cup, which he bangs onto the counter. I move to pick it up but knock it over instead. Juice splashes all over the counter, my pants and the floor.)

    Grumpy Guy: “You clumsy idiot! Now look what you’ve done! Bloody fool!”

    Me: *very embarrassed and close to tears* “I’m really sorry! So sorry!”

    (I grab paper towels and mop up the mess on the counter and the floor, apologizing profusely all the while. He just stands behind the counter, yelling at me, and I don’t understand a word he’s saying. Finally I finish cleaning up, pay for the items and rush out, very upset and getting stared at because of my wet pants all the way home. The next day, I’m relieved to see a different guy behind the counter. When I go to pay, however, I realize that I’ve picked up a sandwich with meat in it by mistake.)

    Me: *hesitantly, in German* “Sorry, I’m a vegetarian and this has meat. May I put it back and get something else?”

    (Before he can answer, the grumpy guy from the day before sees me and pipes up.)

    Grumpy Guy: “Oh, she’s back with another problem, is she? Bloody fool, can’t do a thing right. So many people waiting behind her, too. It’s people like her who’re always causing trouble and holding up our work.”

    Me: *speechless with anger which I am unable to articulate in German*

    Second Guy: *looks shocked* “What are you saying? Shut up!” *to me* “No problem, ma’am, you can go pick out something else, and I sincerely apologize for my colleague’s rudeness. In fact, have any item you like for free.”

    (He waited till I returned with a vegetarian option, even holding the queue for me, and refused to take any money for the order. As I walked away I could hear him arguing with the grumpy guy, who seemingly lost the battle and skulked off to the back. To the nice man who restored my faith in the cafeteria staff: Danke Schön!)

    Making A Meal Out Of It

    | Turku, Finland | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink

    (We have had a terrific, albeit busy, Sunday, making triple the amount we usually do. Due to this, me and my co-workers are a bit tired and slaphappy.)

    Customer: “Is it possible for me to get a [Product] meal?”

    Me: *deadpan* “No.”

    (The customer gets a heartbroken look on his face.)

    Me: “Oh, dear, I was only joking! I’m very sorry; we have had a very busy day and are not too sharp at the moment. Of course you can have your meal!”

    Customer: *laughing* “That’s all right. I’ve been doing inventory at my workplace for nine hours today, so I can sympathize!”

    Doesn’t Like Dem Apples

    | Singapore | Employees, Technology

    (I work in an Apple store and Apple logos are displayed prominently throughout the store. Note that this also happens all the time.)

    Customer: “Do you all sell the case for the Samsung Note 3?”

    Me: “Nope, sorry! We don’t.”

    (Customer starts looking at me with a puzzled look on his face.)

    Customer: “Oh. Why not?”

    Me: “…Well, it is an Apple store. We don’t carry those cases.”

    Customer: “How was I supposed to know?!”

    Me: “Well, you did walk through a glass door that had two huge Apple posters beside it. And there’s that big logo staring right at you the moment you walk in….”

    Locked On Your Faulty Reasoning

    | NY, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Time

    (My school has a small café that is a popular hangout, as well as an alternative location for instructors to hold small classes. My math professor has assigned us a take-home exam, and we’ve agreed to meet at the café. My dorm is nearest the café, so I’m there first.)

    Me: *walking into the café* “Good morning!”

    Café Worker: “Hello.”

    (The serving area isn’t open yet, so I grab a seat and wait for everyone else. The workers who are here ignore me, going about their business. Fifteen minutes past the meeting time, I’m beginning to wonder where everyone is. Then I see several of my classmates outside one of the windows.)

    Classmates: “Oh, it’s locked. Guess they’re not opening early today.”

    (Confused, I look out to see my whole class gathered at the corner, with my professor handing out the papers. Not sure what’s going on, I grab my bag and head for the front door, again crossing in front of the café worker I greeted earlier. I go to leave, but find the door locked.)

    Me: “Err, excuse me?”

    Café Worker: “Yes?”

    Me: “Can you please unlock the door so I can get out?”

    Café Worker: “How’d you get in here?”

    Me: “I walked in… The door was unlocked… I said hello to you, and you didn’t tell me to leave.”

    Café Worker: “You’re not supposed to be in here. We’re not opening until 6:30, like we usually do.”

    Me: “I can see that. But no one said anything when I walked in. And I’ve been sitting here for the past twenty minutes.”

    Café Worker: “You’re not supposed to be in here! We’re not open yet!”

    Me: “Then let me out!”

    (He finally unlocked the door, grumbling about students who don’t read the signs.)

    Page 3/38412345...Last
    « Previous Page
    Next Page »
    Yixing Teapots Wholesale Yixing Teapots