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  • Swearing You Into A Job
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  • Category: Employees

    How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 5

    | Madison, WI, USA | Coworkers, Employees, Liars/Scammers, New Hires

    (I’m the general manager at a gas station. We’ve always had problems with scammers trying to activate gift cards over the phone, but lately they’ve gotten a lot more annoying. I’m working with a new hire when I answer the phone. We’re both fluent in sign language.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [Store]. How can I help you today?”

    Caller: “Hi, I’m from [Company] customer support. We’ve received an automatic error report from your location, and I’m calling to confirm. Did you recently have trouble activating a gift card?”

    Me: *signs* “It’s a scammer.” *out loud* “No, not that I’ve been aware of.”

    Caller: “Hmm, that’s odd. Can you please ring up a gift card and check the activation code?”

    New Hire: *signs* “Can I mess with him? Pretty please?”

    Me: *signs* “Sure.” *out loud* “Here, let me get my manager.” *passes the phone*

    New Hire: “‘Dirty Dan’s House of Hookers,’ you got the dough and we got the blow! How can I help you today?

    Caller: *hangs up*

    (He’s a keeper!)

    Related:
    How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 4
    How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 3
    How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 2
    From Not Always Related:
    How To Win The War Against Telemarketers

    Unwarranted Unhelpfulness

    | PA, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (My mom is calling a store’s service desk.)

    Customer Service Rep: “Hello, service desk.”

    Mom: “Hello. We purchased a microwave last July and it died. We’ve contacted the manufacturers and they are sending us a reimbursement check under the manufacturers warranty. What we wanted to know is if the extended warranty that we purchased can be transferred to the new microwave that we are buying.”

    Customer Service Rep: “Well the in-store warranty on the microwave is only 90 days and so if it’s within the 90 day period… You will have to call the warranty company.”

    Mom: “Okay. What’s the name of the extended warranty company, or, can I have their phone number, please?”

    Customer Service Rep: “It is on your service contract.”

    Mom: “We did not get a service contract. When we checked out she asked if we wanted the two year extended warranty. We said yes, and she rang it up, and we left the store. She said nothing about a service contract brochure. She did not hand us anything or tell us to go to the service desk.”

    Customer Service Rep: “Oh. Well, she should have sent you to the service desk to pick up a service contract.”

    Mom: “Well, she didn’t tell us and we didn’t get one. Could you give me the telephone number of the extended warranty company so I can just call them?”

    Customer Service Rep: “I don’t know which company that would be. Did you look on the back of your user manual? It has a phone number there.”

    Mom: “Yes, I did. We called the phone number and that is the manufacturer’s phone number and not the phone number for the extended warranty. I would like the number for the folks who handle the extended service contract.”

    Customer Service Rep: “You were supposed to get an extended warranty when you checked out. They were supposed to send you to the service desk to pick up an extended warranty and then you can call and register with them.”

    Mom: “I understand that, but it never happened. She did not send us to the service desk. We did not pick up an extended warranty.” *pause* “A question?”

    Customer Service Rep: “Yes?”

    Mom: “This is the service desk, correct?”

    Customer Service Rep: “Yes, this is the service desk.”

    Mom: “Okay. Do you have the extended warranty brochure at the service desk?”

    Customer Service Rep: “Yes, I do.”

    Mom: “Could you pick one up?”

    Customer Service Rep: “Sure.”

    Mom: “Could you please read me the telephone number that is on the warranty

    brochure?”

    Customer Service Rep: “Oh, sure. The number is [number].”

    Mom: “Thank you.”

    Pajama Drama

    | Des Moines, IA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Family & Kids, Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Themed Giveaway

    (I work at a nice golf course restaurant as a waiter. I’m at my table, wrapping things up. I’m a 21-year-old man.)

    Me: “Is there anything else I can do for you this evening?”

    Woman: “You can watch my kids!”

    Me: “Ooh, I’m working right now, but after work, sure. We’ll have a pajama party!”

    (Very awkward silence follows. The word ‘pizza’ was going through my head, but I changed it on the fly because, how stupid, they just ate and wouldn’t want a pizza-party while full. So I replaced ‘pizza’ with the word ‘pajama’ due to the ‘P’ sound having already escaped my mouth. I’ve never seen her or her eight- and five-year old sons since.)

    Plucking An Answer Out Of The Air

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Employees, Tourists & Travel, Transportation

    (I have just finished visiting my friends and have arrived at the airport for my return flight to Washington Dulles. I get up to the airline greeter who is standing at the entrance of the line.)

    Greeter: *rudely* “Sir, you need to place that carry-on in this slot to confirm the size.”

    Me: “Oh, this is my return trip, I already know it fits.”

    Greeter: “That doesn’t matter. Put the bag in.”

    (I do as asked.)

    Greeter: *shocked* “It fits. Where are you flying to?”

    Me: “D.C.”

    Greeter: *scoffs* “There are two airports in D.C. We only fly to one of them.”

    Me: *shocked look* “Washington Dulles.”

    Greeter: “That is the one we fly to.”

    (As I am walking away to go to the counter I turn around.)

    Me: “There are actually three airports in the D.C. area.”

    (I got better service from the TSA agents!)

    Don’t Know What They’re Playing At

    | Australia | At The Checkout, Bosses & Owners, Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Technology

    (In the middle of the year, I pre-ordered and paid for a PlayStation 4 for my husband’s Christmas present. Because of my schedule, I asked for pick up the week before Christmas. On the 23rd of December I finally get an email saying it is in store and ready to go.)

    Me: “Hi. I’m here to pick up a pre-order. Here’s my receipt.”

    Cashier: “Uh-huh. We’re sold out of PlayStations.”

    Me: “No, I pre-ordered it. I just got the email saying it was in store this morning? So, I’m here to pick it up.”

    Cashier: *still holding my receipt* “Look, it’s a popular console. Maybe you should think ahead next time? I mean, seriously.”

    Me: “Excuse me? I want to speak to a manager. Now, please.”

    (The cashier huffs, rolls her eyes, and throws my receipt on the counter, and then finally pages for a manager.)

    Manager: “What’s up?”

    Cashier: “This girl’s looking for a PS4 and demanded to see you when I told her we were sold out.”

    Me: “Um, no. I have a pre-order. I can even show you the email on my phone saying it’s ready to be picked up. I asked to see you because your cashier was rude.”

    Manager: “Look, we sold them. All of them.”

    Me: “Even the pre-orders? Like, my pre-order? That I was told to come and pick up?”

    Manager: *shrugs* “Yeah?”

    Me: “Are you kidding? I just got the email saying it was here! Look, can you at least try other stores?”

    Manager & Cashier: “They’re sold out too.”

    Cashier: “Look, next time just be prepared. They’re back ordered till February.”

    Me: “Look, I’m not trying to buy one. I am here to pick one up I purchased six months ago!”

    Manager: “We sold out. [Cashier] is right. You really should’ve thought ahead.”

    (On the plus side, my cousin’s girlfriend, who works at another location of the same store, saw my Facebook update about the situation. She said they had some at her store and put one aside for me. I made her brownies.)


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