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  • September's Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: Employees

    Knows How To Escalate The Situation

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids

    (My four-year-old son is scared of escalators. It’s Christmas shopping season and my hands are full of packages and shopping bags. We are at the top of an escalator and I simply don’t have a hand free to pick him up and carry him down that escalator. We’re standing there, arguing about it.)

    Son: “But it will chomp my legs off.”

    Me: “It won’t do that; you’ll be fine.”

    (A young male sales clerk from the store walks up to us.)

    Clerk: “Hey, kid, you’re right. This thing chomped some kid’s legs off just yesterday.”

    (I ended up dragging my packages and my crying child to the elevators way on the other side of the store. It was two more years before that kid would ride an escalator. Thanks a lot, guy.)

    Commit That Response To Memory

    | UK | Employees, Liars/Scammers

    (I receive a call.)

    Me: “Hello”

    Caller: “Good afternoon, [My Name]. I have been passed the information about the car accident you were in that wasn’t your fault… That’s right, isn’t it?”

    (There is a spate of this cold call marketing happening in the UK lately, so I decide to have some fun.)

    Me: “OH, MY GOD! It MUST have been a bad accident, because I can’t remember it. I MUST have AMNESIA!”

    Caller: *in a really stroppy voice* “WERE YOU or WERE YOU NOT in a car accident?”

    Me: “WELL, you told me I had been, and I’m sure you wouldn’t lie about having that information… so yes, I guess I was… but I can’t remember it.”

    Caller: *click*

    Weight Gain Equals Job Loss

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I have always been on the small side. At this time I had just gotten over the flu, and so I was a bit skinnier than I normally am. I was really craving a chicken sandwich, so I decided to get one.)

    Me: “Can I get a chicken sandwich with no lettuce and no mayo, but add tomatoes? And a small diet coke.”

    Worker: “No.”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Worker: “I’ll get you a large regular coke and a cheeseburger, because you need to gain weight, anorexic freak.”

    A Salted With Spit

    | PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (My family had finished moving furniture into my cousin’s house. Afterwards we all go out to eat at a well known restaurant. Everything is fine until after we get our food. Our salt shaker seemed to be clogged, and we flagged down a waitress to help us.)

    Dad: “Excuse me our salt shaker is clogged. Can you get us a new one?”

    (The waitress takes the salt shaker and instead of getting a new one, she blows into it, spits on it, and rubs it with a napkin.)

    Waitress: “It should be fine now.”

    (We haven’t gone back since.)

    Can’t Drive The Sale

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Employees, Money, Tourists & Travel, Transportation

    (My family and I fly to Orlando for a week’s vacation. Our flight is delayed, and as a result, we don’t get to the car rental place until 10:00 at night. We are tired and hungry and just want to get our car so that we can go get settled in our hotel. The lineup for the rental counter is huge and takes forever. When it is finally our turn …)

    Me: “Here’s my confirmation number.”

    Employee: “I see that you rented a midsize car.”

    Me: “That’s right.”

    Employee: “But there’s four of you, and all your luggage. A midsize won’t be big enough.”

    Me: “It’ll be fine. Our car at home is no bigger than a midsize, and we got the airport with no problems. We were a little squished, but that was no big deal.”

    Employee: “You should get a full size car instead. You’ll be much more comfortable.”

    Me: “No, thanks.”

    Employee: “I REALLY think you should get a full size car instead.”

    Me: “NO, thanks.”

    Employee: “But—”

    Me: “Let me ask you this: are you offering to upgrade us for free?”

    Employee: “Um, no. A full size will cost you $x more per day.”

    Me: “That’s what I thought. Please just give us the midsize that I requested.”

    Employee: “Fine.”

    (That explained why the lineup was so long and slow!)


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