• Not Scripted For Success - 797 votes
  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Family & Kids

    The Worst Kind Of Bubble Butt

    | WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (My coworker used to work in the quality office of a factory that makes big brand cleaning/disinfecting wipes. A call came through her phone from a customer.)

    Coworker: “Thank you for calling Factory Quality. This is [Coworker].”

    Customer: “You sold me faulty wipes! They don’t work and they made my baby’s butt bubble!” *a baby’s shrill screaming can be heard in the background*

    Coworker: *alarmed* “I… I’m sorry, ma’am… Your baby’s bottom is bubbling? You should call 911!”

    Customer: “NO! This is YOUR fault! What are you gonna do for me?!”

    Coworker: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but you need to hang up and dial 911! These are NOT baby wipes! It even says it on the back of the can. If you could find our office number, then you also saw the warning label which reads ‘This is NOT for personal use. Keep out of reach of children. Using these wipes in a manner inconsistent with its intended purpose is a federal crime.’ Now please, hang up and dial 911!”

    Customer: *garbled choking and screeching* “I’m gonna sue y’all for hurting my baby!” *slams phone down*

    Family-Style And Family Friendly

    | USA | Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I am seven. Dad is disabled and raising us alone. Money is tight. My nine-year-old sister and I beg to go to the beach and he takes us crabbing, along with a friend of ours. It starts raining and after we pull in the crab pots Dad herds us all into a chowder restaurant to warm up and we all immediately beg for soup.)

    Waitress: “Four today?”

    Dad: “Uh, yeah, one second.”

    (The waitress gathers menus and watches us, soaking wet in over-sized obviously second or third hand coats shivering while Dad counts the coins in his pockets to see what he can afford. After a minute Dad lets her lead us to a table.)

    Dad: “Four waters, and uh, three cups of chowder please.”

    Waitress: “Three?”

    Dad: *nods and looks embarrassed*

    Waitress: “Okay, that will be right out for you guys.”

    (A few minutes she returns and sets a huge pot of chowder on the table with a big plate of warm bread and a stack of bowls.)

    Waitress: “Sorry, it was easier to serve it family style. Hope you don’t mind!” *she scurries off before Dad can say anything*

    (The family style ended up working out to two bowls of soup for each of us – including Dad – and she only charged us for the three cups. I’ll never forget her kindness, and wish we could have given a tip other than some shells and a half dollar coin.)

    Working With The Boss You Know The Drill

    | MT, USA | Family & Kids

    (My husband is on a labor crew that generally builds fences, but sometimes they perform other tasks as needed. The day before, one of his co-workers hurt himself on the job. There is also no fondness between my husband and his boss. The following is a text conversation in the morning.)

    Husband: “Huh. Apparently we are delivering turkeys to elders today. We’ll see how this goes.”

    Me: “Sounds fun! Not as fun as a jackhammer, but more fun than falling on drilling equipment.”

    Husband: “Bah! I am probably stuck with [Boss] all day!”

    Me: “Oh. Not quite as fun as falling on drilling equipment, then?”

    Husband: “I’ll give you that… maybe.”

    You Called The Wrong Number…

    | IL, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Liars/Scammers

    (Despite being on the Do Not Call list, my parents have been getting a ridiculous amount of calls from telemarketers/scammers. I happen to be at home one day when another one calls…)

    Dad: “Hello?”

    (Silence. He presses a couple buttons, then puts the phone back up to his ear.)

    Dad: “Yes, you people keep calling me about lowering my interest rate on my credit card. Now, which credit card did you mean?”


    Dad: “Well, I have several. Which one?”


    Dad: “Hold on there. Before I give you my bank account information, I have a few more questions for you first. Will you send me a new credit card?”


    Dad: “Oh, you will. Will it be one of those cards where you put my picture on it?”


    Dad: “Can I have multiple people in the picture? I’ve got a pretty large family. I also have three cars, a dog, a cat, and a bunch of chickens!”

    (I snort, realizing he is messing with the scammer. My dad looks over, shushes me, and goes back to the call.)

    Dad: “Well, it’s going to be very difficult to get them all into one picture. You know how animals are. The dog will start chasing the cat, then the cat will start chasing the chickens, and then it will be a huge mess!”

    (Silence. I am trying my best not to laugh.)

    Dad: “No, no, I have more questions for you.”


    Dad: “No, I will not hang up. I still have questions for you. You’re trying to trick people to give you their bank account information so you can take their money. How do you sleep at night?”


    Dad: “There’s no need to use that kind of language.”


    Dad: “No, I will not hang up. I’m not done talking to you. You know what I think? You need to read your Bible. Obviously you need it.”


    Dad: “You know, using swear words like that is a sign of a limited vocabulary.”


    Dad: “No, I will not hang up.”

    (He turns on his radio, sets the phone next to it, walks out of his office, and shuts the door. By this time, the entire family is listening at the door.)

    Dad: “He’s still yelling. Might as well keep one of their lines tied up. Maybe it’ll prevent someone from getting scammed.”

    Me: “I think that was the best thing I’ve ever heard.”

    A Gross Grocery Error

    | England, UK | Employees, Family & Kids

    (I live in England, but when I speak it’s clear I’m Irish and not English. I also look young for my age – I am aware of this but there isn’t an awful lot I can actually do about it. This was a grocery delivery to my home, in the middle of the day when people ‘underage’ are supposed to be in school and not answering their front doors.)

    Me: “Hi! Could you just leave it there and I’ll bring it in myself…”

    Delivery Guy: “Uh, are your parents in?”

    Me: “Wait… what?”

    Delivery Guy: “Are your parents in? I need someone over the age of 18 to be in the house…”

    (If he’d asked for ID, I would have given him ID. At no point did he ask for proof of my age.)

    Me: “Maybe? I don’t know, though, because they live the other side of the bloody Irish Sea. I can give you their number if you want to ring them up and check, though.”

    Delivery Guy: *looking like a deer caught in headlights* “Uh… here’s your groceries.”

    Page 1/4612345...Last