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Category: Family & Kids

Broken Hearted

| Eugene, OR, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Health & Body, New Hires

(My baby brother has a heart condition that makes his heart sound strange, but is otherwise healthy. My mother and I are at the doctor’s for a regular check-up, and a medical student is there to examine him.)

Medical Student: “All right, let’s check his heartbeat.”

(He pulls out a stethoscope and starts moving it around on my brother’s chest, but when he finds his heart the medical student stops moving and turns white.)

Mom: “What’s happening? Is he all right?”

Medical Student: *very slowly* “Oh, no, we’re fine…”

Mom: “Oh, he has a weird sounding heart, but he’s healthy.”

Medical Student: “Oh, thank god! I didn’t know what to do!”

Telling You Until You’re Bleu In The Face

| USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(When I was 10 I really liked bleu cheese. I was excited when they were giving samples at a store.)

Me: “Mommy, can I go get some bleu cheese?”

Mom: “Sure, honey. Go right ahead.”

Employee: *guarding the sample tray as I am trying to reach* “You won’t like this. It is bleu cheese.”

Me: “But I like bleu cheese.”

Employee: “No. It is a grown-up food.”

Mom: “Honey, what’s the matter?”

Employee: “Your daughter is being rude to me.”

Me: “All I said was that I like bleu cheese.”

Employee: “No, she doesn’t. No kid likes bleu cheese.”

Mom: “My daughter has a wide palate. She likes bleu cheese.”

Employee: “No, she doesn’t. She probably just says that to you.”

Mom: “No. She eats it a lot.”

(Mom takes two and gives one to me.)

Employee: “Oh. I guess she actually likes bleu cheese.”

Putting The Brakes On This Scam

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Liars/Scammers, Technology, Transportation

(My car is making a terrible grinding noise when I turn. I take it in to a national car repair chain to have it looked at. I am female and 19 at the time. My father is visiting from 600 miles away.)

Me: “Hey there. My car is making this weird grinding, popping noise when I turn. I was hoping you guys could take a look at it?”

Employee: “No problem! We’ll have it looked at shortly.”

(Over two hours pass, the employee approaches me.)

Employee: “We found the problem. Your brakes need to be replaced: pads, rotors, drums… We can get you in today and it will be [outrageous price].”

Me: “Um… okay. But I’d like to hold off on that. I need to get my father’s permission before I authorize that charge. I’ll be back in tomorrow, though!”

(The employee tries to argue how important it is to get my brakes replaced, to the point he prints out a recommended repairs list and hands it to me. Little did he know I’d had the brakes done less than four months prior at a different location. The next day, my father brings the car in to the same store. The same employee is there.)

Father: “I need this car looked at. It’s making a terrible noise when I turn.”

Employee: “Okay! We’ll have it looked at shortly. Have a seat while you wait.”

(Less than an hour later:)

Employee: “We can’t seem to pinpoint the exact cause of the noise, I am sorry to say. Everything looks good. It could just be something rolling around in the trunk.”

Father: “Even the brakes?”

Employee: “The brakes on the car are fine. They look like they were replaced recently.”

Father: “Really, now?”

Employee: “Yeah, they’re fine.”

My Father: “Funny, because I have a work order from you, dated yesterday, that says they need to be replaced when my daughter brought the car in for this same issue.” *shows the work order*

(The employee visibly sputters. There are at least six other customers in the store and my father spoke loud enough for them to hear.)

Employee: “Uh— Oh! I remember her! Yeah, she just needed a new rotor on the car. I don’t know why the guy put down all that other stuff.”

Father: “I’m sure. Now, you listen. My daughter is 19, and I live 600 miles away. I told her to come here because I have [Company credit card] and can pay for the repairs while she’s in school. She is going to call me every time there is an issue, and if it feels like you are trying to rip her off again, I will drive the 600 miles it takes to come down here and deal with the problem myself. Do we have an understanding?”

(I didn’t have a problem at the location after that. The employee in question recognized me whenever I brought the car back in, and made sure to call my father to approve any repairs that were needed. Now that I’m out of college I occasionally go back for minor maintenance. He still recognizes me.)

They Can Af-Ford The Answer

| Jacksonville, FL, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Movies & TV

(I work as a camp counselor. This week is ‘Star Wars’ week, and I am doing a trivia games with the kids. All of the kids are 10-12 but one.)

Me: “Okay… for 10 points, who can tell me the name of the actor who played Han Solo?”

Five-Year-Old: *jumps up immediately* “INDIANA JONES!”

Me: “Close enough!”

Let Up Everybody And His Brother

| New Haven. CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(My brother goes to pick up my 14-year-old daughter from having her operation. She’d gone in for minor surgery.)

Brother: “Hi, I’m—”

Nurse #1: “Room [number], Mr. [Brother].”

(My brother goes upstairs and goes to the room. A doctor and another nurse are already there. My daughter is currently very weak.)

Doctor: *seeing my brother enter* “Yes?”

Brother: “Hi, I’m here to pick up [Daughter]. I’m her uncle.”

Doctor: “Well… [Nurse #2], could you just call down to the lobby?” *to my brother* “We didn’t get a call to say you were coming up to visit her.”

Brother: “I’m picking her up.”

Doctor: “She’s leaving at 7:15 pm.”

(It’s 1:45 pm. We were told 2.)

Brother: “No. I was told by the nurse downstairs to come here.”

Doctor: *getting out a radio* “I’ll just ask.”

(He talks on the radio for a minute before glancing back at my brother. He then turns it off.)

Brother: “Well? Can I take [Daughter] out?”

Doctor: “No. Security has been called and will be here shortly. The nurse downstairs said she NEVER sent you up here and didn’t say to anyone beside this girl’s father that she needed visiting.”

Brother: *worried* “Look, I AM her uncle. You can call her mother.”

Doctor: “I don’t need to do anything else.” *gets radio again* “Err, [Nurse #1], who did you send up here?”

Nurse #1: *barely audible* “Girl’s father. I recognized him.”

(My husband and brother look nothing like each other.)

Doctor: “Okay.” *turns radio off* “You are not going ANYWHERE with this girl!”

(Security guards arrive and begin escorting my brother downstairs. The police had been called and at that moment I am arriving to drive them home when I see the car. I rush in and find my brother being taken out.)

Me: “[Brother]? What’s going on?!”

(The guards tell me everything after I am verified by several different people that I am related to my daughter.)

Me: “God, this is stupid; he’s her uncle!”

Doctor: “No, the nurse said she sent the father up and she didn’t recognise this guy. Are you sure your brother—”

Me: “I KNOW that my brother was sent here. Where IS the nurse?”

(Nurse #1 comes over.)

Nurse #1: “Ma’am, I saw your husband in the lobby and he was asking me for directions, so I gave him the way to the room. I made sure the right guy went. But they asked because the wrong guy had come up. So I got security.”

Me: “This is ridiculous. We were told to collect her now, and you let a guy go in without confirmation because you thought you knew who he was?”

(We never went back to that hospital.)


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