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    Category: Family & Kids

    Making A Boob Of Oneself

    | Jacksonville, FL, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I have just had my first daughter and am out shopping with her for the first time since she was born. About midway through, she starts crying because she’s hungry and I look for a quiet place to hunker down and feed her. I find a little bench in the women’s shoe department, sit down facing the wall, and start feeding my baby. I hear someone come up behind me. It’s an employee from another department.)

    Man: “Ahem. Ma’am, the bathroom is right over there.” *points none too subtly*

    (I ignore him and continue feeding my daughter.)

    Man: “Ma’am, I’ll be happy to escort you there.”

    Me: “Thanks, but no thanks. Almost done anyway. ”

    Man: *sighs heavily* “Ma’am, I’ve been kind. You need to go there NOW. That’s indecent.”

    Me: “Says you.”

    Man: “I WILL have you kicked out.”

    Me: “Under what grounds?”

    Man: “Indecent exposure.”

    Me: *I switch her to the other side* “I have an idea. It’s close to lunchtime. Why don’t you come in and eat with us? Grab your lunch.”

    Man: “What?!”

    Me: “Well, would you eat your lunch in a bathroom?”

    Man: “No, that’s disgusting!”

    Me: “Then don’t ask me to feed my kid there.”

    Man: “Then kindly leave the store.”

    Me: “No, thank you.”

    (He finally stormed off and returned a little while later with a manager, just as I was finishing burping my daughter. The manager apologized to me and stomped off while his employee stood there gape-jawed as I calmly packed up and resumed shopping. In a society that glorifies boobs, isn’t it funny that they become ‘immoral and indecent’ when they’re actually being used for what they were developed for in the first place?)

    Swinging Through Repeated History

    | Prestonpans, Scotland, UK | Family & Kids

    (I notice a little girl, about four to five years old swinging on a trolley.)

    Me: *to her mother* “You should be careful. We’ve got CCTV footage from a few months ago of a girl pulling a trolley over on herself doing that.”

    Mother: “Was that in the biscuit aisle?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Mother: “Yeah, that was her.”

    An Unwarranted Warranty Pitch

    | OH, USA | Family & Kids, Money, Transportation

    (I’m just about 30 though I look younger. I’ve never had to own a car before due to living, until recently, in a city with great public transport. My dad goes with me to help me buy my first vehicle, and all goes very well until the very final step where the dealership tries to ‘hard sell’ various extra warranties and bells and whistles. The employee who handles this is a woman who only looks to be less than ten years older than I am, but she treats me incredibly condescendingly the entire time.)

    Employee: “All right! Welcome to adulthood. It all goes downhill from here! Ha ha!” *proceeds to look at my credit reports* “Well! You’re really lucky to have such great credit.”

    Me: “What?!”

    Dad: “Yeah, luck’s got nothing to do with that. That’s a lot of hard work.”

    Employee: “Uh… anyway, these are our warranty packages. We have [super expensive extra warranty], [kind of expensive extra warranty], [expensive extra warranty], and [basic but still extra warranty]. Which one can I put you down for?”

    Me: “Er, I just want the basic. The one that comes with it.”

    Employee: “All right! That’s this one, and it’ll put your payment up to [amount way over my budget and higher than the established monthly payment I’d already negotiated].”

    Dad: “No, I think she means she doesn’t want an extra one at all.”

    Me: “Yes, that’s right; I don’t want any extra warranty. I just want the one that comes with the vehicle. I’m not paying for anything extra.”

    Employee: *flustered* “Well, you know, that’s not a very good idea. We really can’t do anything for you on that one, and these are so much better. Like this one, [pushes one of the more expensive warranties at me].”

    Me: *firmly* “No, I don’t want to add anything to my monthly payment. I’m fine with the basic warranty it comes with.”

    Employee: *angrily, to my dad, for some reason* “And what are you going to do when she wrecks it within the first two months!?”

    Dad: “Then we’ll pay for it.”

    Employee: *gives me death glare* “Well, that must be REALLY NICE. That’s just great. Can I get adopted into your family?”

    Me: “With an attitude like that?!”

    Don’t Ever Call Him Daddy

    | Dover, DE, USA | Employees, Family & Kids

    (I’m 23, and I meet up with my father to have our eye doctor’s appointments on the same day because money’s tight for me and I’m still under his insurance even though I’ve moved out. When we meet up inside the waiting room at the sign-in desk, we chat for a bit and I say “hey dad” upon seeing him walk in. This happens once I’m taken back to an exam room and am waiting for the doctor.)

    Assistant: *opens up the door and leans in* “Your husband’s getting his pupils dilated, but the doctor will see you soon.”

    Me: “My dad, but thanks.”

    Assistant: “Oh, my God, I’m sorry! I just saw you two together chatting and was thinking ‘She’s awful young for him’, but I wasn’t going to say anything.”

    (I assure her that it’s okay, but after my appointment ends I’m waiting for him since he’s offered to take care of my copay and I wanted to chat with him more because I don’t see him that often.)

    Receptionist: “Is your husband taking care of the copay Mrs. [Last Name].”

    Me: “My FATHER is taking care of it, yes.”

    (Now I don’t know if my dad looks good for being in his mid 50s, or if I look bad for being in my early 20s…)

    Won’t Be Kidding Again

    | Raleigh/Durham, NC, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Transportation

    (My daughter and I are visiting my parents in NC when she falls seriously ill and must be hospitalized. I’m forced to return home for work reasons while she’s still in the hospital and I’m upset about leaving her. I’m in the very crowded security line at the airport, looking somber, when a TSA agent leans in.)

    TSA Agent: “Smile! At least you don’t have kids with you.”

    (At this point, I lose my composure and burst into tears.)

    Me: “My daughter’s in the hospital!”

    TSA Agent: “…”

    (I hope in the future he thinks twice before making insensitive comments to people he doesn’t know.)


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