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    Category: Family & Kids

    Getting Out Of Work With Surgical Precision

    , | KS, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Overtime, School

    (I work in a deli inside of a chain grocery store. I’m always on closing duty which has me at work until well after midnight. I’m also a full-time college student. I’m usually fine going into class on very little sleep, but I don’t want to take tests like that, so I put in for time off on the nights before my final exams, which are all early in the morning. The week before my exams, we’re given our schedules for the following week.)

    Me: “Uh, [Manager], you’ve got me down to work close next Wednesday night. I asked for it off and you approved it, but then you scheduled me.”

    Manager: “Oh. Well, can you still come in?”

    Me: I’d rather not. I have to be up early Thursday morning for exams. It’s just next week; I’m off for the summer so I can work whatever hours you need after that. But, I really don’t want to take important exams on three or four hours of sleep.

    Manager: “Hmm.” *says nothing more and goes back to work*

    (I assume I am still going to have to go in, so decide to just suck it up and hope for the best. Fast forward to the following Wednesday. I arrive for my shift, to find that a coworker who hadn’t been on the schedule is there. She is as surprised to see me as I am to see her.)

    Coworker: “Why are you here? [Manager] asked me to cover for you because you said you couldn’t come in.”

    Me: “Seriously?! She didn’t say anything to me about that. I had asked for tonight off because of my exams tomorrow morning, but she put me down anyway. But, okay, if you’re here I guess I’ll go home—”

    Coworker: “No, we should really talk to a manager to make sure.”

    Me: “All of the managers are gone, I think. One of the store managers might still be here… but we’d better hurry because they won’t be here long.”

    (We manage to find the store assistant manager, who is the only one still in, and explain the situation.)

    Me: “[Manager] hadn’t told me she was having someone cover, but since we’ve got coverage, I’d really like to head home so I can be well-rested for my exams tomorrow.”

    Coworker: “I GUESS I could stay but… my little boy is only five months old and he just had surgery on his poor little feet this morning. I hated to leave him but [Manager] asked…”

    (I’m confused because this coworker had never mentioned her son having surgery scheduled — and she talks incessantly about EVERYTHING related to her son, even an inconsequential sneeze. And why would she have agreed to cover for me if her baby was scheduled for surgery that day?)

    Assistant Manager: “Oh!” *gives me a dirty look then turns back to my coworker* “You go right on home to be with your baby. He needs you.” *turns back to me, and says rather rudely* “Go get clocked in and get to work.”

    (The other closer ended up calling in sick, leaving me to close by myself. I went in to my exams the next morning on under two hours of sleep, and failed them both. The kicker? The bakery manager saw me the next day, heard what happened, and informed me that she saw my coworker and her husband only minutes before I walked in — showing off her not-been-operated-on baby to the bakery employees.)

    Cooked Just Like Grandma Used To

    | NS, Canada | Coworkers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive, Language & Words

    (Coworker and I are chatting about what we did the previous weekend:)

    Coworker: ”…and then we went over to my grandma’s house.”

    (The phone rings.)

    Coworker: ”Oh, just a sec.” *answering phone* ”Welcome to my grandma’s house…”

    (My coworker’s face immediately turns bright red. She quickly hands me the phone, runs out back into the kitchen, and bursts out laughing.)

    Me: *to the customer on the phone* ”Sorry about that. Welcome to [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

    Giving You A Tall Order

    | USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Family & Kids

    (It’s a very slow day at the shop. My manager is on break, and one of the other employees has come in for lunch on her day off and brought her very young son. She is sitting in the lobby, chatting with the manager, while I do some paperwork in the back of the store. Suddenly, the coworker who is off pops her head into the back room. It should be noted that I am tall, female, and probably the meekest person ever.)

    Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], can you come out here and talk to my son? He keeps knocking chairs over in the lobby.”

    Me: “…what?”

    Coworker: “Yeah, he’s knocking stuff down. Can you come tell him to stop?”

    Me: “Can I come tell your son to stop pushing over chairs in the lobby?”

    Coworker: “Yeah.”

    Me: “I… guess so.”

    (We both walk back into the lobby and she sits back down with the manager. Her son has his hand on a chair and a huge grin on his face.)

    Me: *in a normal speaking voice* “Hey.”

    (Startled, he looks at me and takes his hand off the chair.)

    Me: “Have you been pushing chairs over?”

    (He nods meekly and moves to grab his mom’s leg. She and the manager are stifling laughter.)

    Me: “Are you going to stop now?”

    (He nods meekly again and buries his face against her leg.)

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I go into the back room. Later, the manager’s break ends and she comes back into the back room.)

    Me: “Hey, do you know why [Coworker] asked me to make her son stop instead of, like, telling him herself or asking you?”

    Manager: “Yeah, her son wouldn’t listen to us, but he’s terrified of you.”

    Me: “What!? Why?”

    Manager: “You’re taller than his dad!”

    Totally Wigging Out

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Family & Kids, Holidays

    (It’s Halloween and I’m dressed up as Moss from ‘The IT Crowd,’ complete with the goofy afro parted to the side. One of my coworkers brings her daughter in.)

    Coworker’s Daughter: “I want your hair.”

    Me: “Oh, you do, huh?” *I yank off my wig and hand it to her* “Here you go.”

    Coworker’s Daughter: “YAAAAYY!” *grabs the wig and runs off with it*

    Me: “I’m gonna want that back in a bit…”

    Toying With His Gender Issues

    | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Employees, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I’m taking my six-year-old nephew to a popular family restaurant that sells kid’s meals with toys. We get there and he starts going on a rant about how he has to have a boy’s toy because last time he got a girl’s toy and he’s a boy. The whole restaurant can hear him and just think it’s cute.)

    Me: *to cashier* “As you might be able to tell he’d like a kid’s meal with a boy’s toy.”

    Cashier: “It’s okay. I understand the struggle.”

    (I order the rest of the meal and my nephew keeps ranting.)

    Cashier: “Oh, can’t I just give him a girl’s toy… Just to screw with his brain?”


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