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  • Category: Geeks Rule

    Living In A Police Box State

    | AZ, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Geeks Rule

    (Where I work, we are required to wear badges to get in the building and identify ourselves. The lanyards do not have to be from the company. I have recently bought a Doctor Who inspired lanyard with the words ‘Police Box’ printed all over it. This happens when we get a new administrator.)

    Admin: “What is that?” *points to my lanyard*

    Me: “Oh, it’s my Doctor Who lanyard. The Doctor flies around time and space in the TARDIS, which is disguised as a police box.”

    Admin: “Well, you can’t wear that anymore.”

    Me: “Why not? ”

    Admin: *sighs* “Because it says ‘POLICE’ on it. People might mistake you for an officer! I won’t have the company name soiled because you got arrested for impersonating a police officer!”

    (I continued to wear the lanyard anyway. I guess when you’re hardly on the floor of a call center with 200 employees, you tend to forget little things like criminal activity!)

    USS Reliant On People Getting It

    | Bristol, England, UK | At The Checkout, Employees, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (I go to a pizza place near my house to order dinner. I’m wearing a shirt that has a Starfleet logo and the words ‘Keep Khan And Kling On,’ while I’m waiting for my pizza, the cashier looks at my shirt.)

    Cashier: *foreign accent, reading slowly* “Keep… Khan… and… Kling… On?”

    Me: *confused* “Um, yeah, it’s a parody of that ‘Keep Calm And Carry On’ thing…”

    Cashier: “Who is Khan?”

    Me: “What?”

    Cashier: “Who is Khan?”

    Me: “He’s the villain of Star Trek II.”

    Cashier: *blank stare*

    Me: “I’m sorry; have you never heard of Star Trek?”

    Cashier: “I don’t watch Hollywood.”

    Will Have To Twi-Hard To Like You

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Coworkers, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (Several new trainees have come onto the floor after classroom training for our communications department. I’m getting to know one.)

    Coworker: “I don’t like Harry Potter.”

    Me: *jokingly* “Oh, we can’t be friends, then.”

    Coworker: “But I love Twilight.”

    Me: “We really can’t be friends, then!”

    Knocked Down A Few Decks

    | Bremerton, WA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Geeks Rule

    (I am walking into work one day wearing a T-shirt with Optimus Prime brandishing a gun on the front. The following happens as I cross the quarterdeck to get onto my ship.)

    Officer Of The Deck: “Hey, shipmate. C’mere.”

    Me: “Sir?”

    Officer Of The Deck: “Shipmate, to you really think that shirt is appropriate?”

    Me: “I don’t follow, sir.”

    Officer Of The Deck: *condescending* “It’s got a weapon on it. Do you think that’s appropriate for a sailor to wear in public?”

    Me: “Sir, it’s Optimus Prime. He wrote the book on ‘fighting for what is right.’”

    Officer Of The Deck: “And you’re going to tell me that you think violence is the answer?”

    Me: *looks around at the Aircraft Carrier we’re standing on* “Sir, if I didn’t believe in fighting tooth, nail, and F-18 jet fighter in what I hold dear, I would have joined the Coast Guard.”

    (He scowled and let me on board. One of the security guards nearby overheard me and had to walk away so the Officer of the Deck didn’t see him laughing.)

    A White Walker Christmas

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Coworkers, Geeks Rule, Holidays, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s early fall, and I’m teaching an employee who wasn’t with us through the Christmas season last year about how the job changes at that time of year. The customers are different, we go through so much more product, etc. I can tell she’s a bit nervous about the inevitable chaos.)

    Coworker: “I’ve never worked retail during Christmas before.”

    Me: “Yeah, well, brace yourself.”

    Coworker: “Winter is coming.”

    Me: “…that is the most apt usage of that expression that I have ever heard.”

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