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    Category: Geeks Rule

    Not THAT Kind Of Role Play

    | Germany | Bosses & Owners, Geeks Rule, Rude & Risque

    (I’m 17 and I work as an au pair in Germany, looking after two children. I’ve asked my employers if I can take a weekend and a Friday off during June to go to Amsterdam with my girlfriend and her father for a tabletop RPG convention, and am now trying to explain what RPGs are. The dialogue takes place in German, which is not my first language.)

    Me: *haltingly* “You pretend to be a character and play a story with other people.”

    Mother: “Like theatre? On a stage? I didn’t know you were an actress!”

    Me: “No, no, just in a room with a few people. No audience. You just make up the story as you go along.” *I mean to say costumes, but instead say clothing* “You don’t wear any clothing but sometimes you have props.”

    Mother: *obviously thinking it’s something sexual and being horrified because of my age* “Is that legal?!”

    Me: *not understanding her horror* “Yes, of course! People come from all over the world; meeting new people is part of the fun.”

    Mother: “I don’t think you should go… Your girlfriend’s father plays as well?”

    Me: *suddenly realises my mistake* “Oh… OH! I meant costumes, not clothing! Everyone wears clothing! No one takes their clothing off! Especially not [Girlfriend’s 56-year-old father]!”

    (We laughed over the mistake later and I managed to explain better, but I don’t think I’ll ever forget the time I told the mother of the children I look after that I play games with strangers with my clothes off!)

    Made Contact With The X-Men

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | Awesome Workers, Coworkers, Geeks Rule

    (My coworker has run out of his regular contacts and my boss has allowed him to wear his Halloween contacts at work today, which means he has red irises. None of the customers comment on it until one woman’s eight-year-old son notices them.)

    Boy: “What’s wrong with your eyes?”

    Coworker: *without missing a beat, dead serious* “Did you ever see the movie X-Men?”

    Boy: *gasps* “NO. WAY!”

    (The mom and I couldn’t stop laughing while I rang them up.)

    Great Scott, Chewie!

    | Folkestone, Kent, UK | Employees, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (I’m getting my haircut by Barber #1. Barber #2 is nearby drinking tea as there are no other customers in the shop. Barber #1 and I are talking about the ‘Back to the Future’ trilogy, especially as it is now 2015, the year that Marty and Doc visit in ‘Back to the Future Part II.’)

    Me: “Shame, we won’t have our hoverboards this year.”

    Barber #1: “I know! But…”

    Barber #2: “Is that really hairy guy still in it?”

    (Blank looks.)

    Barber #2: “You know; the one with hair everywhere?”

    Me: “Do you mean Doc? Yeah, he’s been in all of them.”

    Barber #2: “No, the really hairy one. You know…” *makes Wookie noise*

    Me: “Um, Chewbacca? I think he’s going to be in the new Star Wars film this year.”

    Barber #1: “But we weren’t talking about them. We were talking about Back to the Future.”

    Barber #2: “Were you? Oh, okay.”

    Me: *to Barber #1* “I know Doc Brown’s hair is wild, but to confuse him with Chewbacca…”

    The Asgardian After-Party

    | OR, USA | Geeks Rule, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (I am helping a mother and her 10-year-old son find a LEGO mini-figure of Thor from The Avengers.)

    Me: “Ah, here he is. Oops, he doesn’t have his hammer.” *I locate one that does

    have the hammer* “Here we go.”

    (At this point, I am attempting to say ‘Thor’s Hammer.’ My mouth twists the words in the worst possible way.)

    Me: “You do want ‘Whore’s Thammer?’ …Er, uh, I mean—”

    Mom: *laughing* “Oh, no, dear, that’s a DIFFERENT type of mini-figure!”

    (I was so relieved the mom had such a good sense of humor! They were awesome customers and have since become regulars. No one talks about the ‘whore’s thammer’ incident, though.)

    HB-Woah

    | Austin, TX, USA | Coworkers, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (I work in the appliances department of a well-known home improvement store. The following conversation happens between my supervisor, my coworker, and me.)

    Supervisor: “I’ve read a few of the books but there was just too much stabbing in the back for me.”

    Me: “And I don’t think there was that much sex in the books. At least, that’s what I hear.”

    Coworker #1: “Well, it’s an HBO show. And because they can, they’ll add all that unnecessary stuff in there.”

    Me: “True. Still, the whole brother-sister thing?” *shivers* “I can’t stand it.” *notices Coworker #2 walking by* “Hey, [Coworker #2].”

    Coworker #2: “’Sup.”

    Supervisor: *ignores the greetings* “Yeah… incest is a big no for me. That’s usually where I draw the line.”

    Coworker #2: *stops and turns around with a look of horror on his face* “What… are you—”

    Supervisor: “Oh, Game of Thrones, man! Game of Thrones!” *laughs awkwardly*

    Coworker #2: “Oh.” *relaxes* “Okay.” *continues walking*

    Me: “Isn’t it funny how people will just accept whatever weird topic you’re talking about once you say it’s related to Game of Thrones?”

    Coworker #1: “Shows you how screwed up that show is.”


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