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  • Category: Geeks Rule

    He Who Shall Not Be Planed

    | Canada | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Tourists & Travel, Transportation

    (I am working at the security checkpoint for staff to enter the baggage hold area. It’s right by one of the baggage claim carousels. Nearby is a large group of kids wearing identifier vests for a local charity camp. We tell them to wait right by us while they wait for their luggage to arrive. One curious kid can’t resist the opportunity to ask a few questions. My male coworker didn’t how to answer the little guy so it was up to the geek girl to answer everything.)

    Kid: “Hey, what do you do?”

    Me: “We protect the planes and baggage from bad guys.”

    Kid: “Cool! Do you know Batman?”

    Me: “Not personally. He lives in Gotham city. That’s a long way from here.”

    Kid: *lists off a couple other superheroes and villains, and I correctly identify their locations* “So, how do you stop bad guys from getting in?”

    Me: “By being bigger and meaner than those coming in.”

    Kid: “But what if they drink a potion to become bigger?”

    Me: “They would get their head stuck in the ceiling here.”

    (I’m six foot and I can easily touch the low hanging ceiling.)

    Kid: “But what if Voldemort returns?”

    Me: “He would be in England so we would be pretty safe here.”

    Kid: “You can’t know that! You must be prepared for anything!”

    (That gets a chuckle from me and he turns to a friend, apparently done questioning me.)

    Kid: “They don’t know Batman!”

    Call Center Dementor

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Coworkers, Geeks Rule

    (I’m am employed in a inbound retail call center, but am on loan to a buying office to cover medical leave. I have just received word that the person I am covering for is coming back almost a week early.)

    Me: “I don’t want to go back to the call center.”

    Coworker: “I always picture the call center like Azkabhan.”

    Me: “From ‘Harry Potter?’”

    Coworker: “Yeah.”

    Me: “A dark, soulless place where people suck all the joy and happiness from your life. Sounds about right.”

    Sam, Dean, And A Little Baby

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Employees, Extra Stupid, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (I am looking to purchase a copy of a tie-in magazine for the TV show ‘Supernatural.’ I can’t find it on the shelf but while I am browsing the owner asks if I need any help.)

    Owner: “Can I help you with anything?”

    Me: “Yes, do you have Supernatural Magazine?”

    Owner: “We don’t have that one but we have these! They are about the same thing.”

    (The owner has taken me around to the ‘women’s interest’ section and is pointing at magazines about babies and motherhood.)

    Me: “This is not what I was after.”

    Owner: “We don’t have Pregnancy magazine but these are all about pregnancy!”

    Really Gets The Kids True Blood Pumping

    | Little Creek, KY, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule

    (There is a book series I like reading that has illustrated covers that look more like children’s books. Unfortunately, this store has a bad habit of putting them in the section for kids rather in the adult or sci-fi sections that they normally go in.)

    Me: “Ma’am, this book doesn’t belong in the children’s section.”

    Manager: “What? Why? Its cover looks like a child’s book.”

    Me: “Well there’s the sex scenes for one.”

    Manager: “The vendor places those, but I’ll ask about it.”

    (The following year the same thing happened with the next book in the series.)

    Me: “Ma’am, this book isn’t a children’s book.”

    Manager #1: “Oh? The cover looks like a children’s book.”

    Me: “The sex isn’t that graphic in this one but it’s pretty obvious where he’s touching her.”

    Manager #1: “What?!”

    Me: *shows page*

    Manager #1: “Follow me!” *brings me to Manager #2* “Tell her what you found.”

    Me: “This book was in the children’s section even though it has some very adult sexual situations.” *shows page*

    Manager #2: “What? This is in the book? Get [Manager #3].”

    Manager #3: “What’s the problem?”

    (I don’t know if they moved the books out of that section or not, but I do know all three managers looked VERY interested in the book after reading that page! I can only hope, now that HBO has turned the books into a popular show called ‘True Blood,’ that the vendors aren’t trying to shove them into the kiddie sections anymore!)

    404 Error: Judgement Day Not Found

    | Kent, England, UK | Coworkers, Geeks Rule, Technology

    (My coworker and I are both into sci-fi and action movies and often have long and detailed discussions on the subject. On this particular day we were have serious connection problems with our phones and Internet. Needless to say it’s getting annoying.)

    Coworker: “For God’s sake! My Internet just crashed again! What the h*** is wrong with it?!”

    Me: “I blame Skynet.”

    Coworker: “Is that our Internet provider?”

    Me: “…no. It’s the super-computer from Terminator.”

    Coworker: ” Well, now I feel stupid.”


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