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  • October's Theme Of The Month: Interview Woes!
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    Category: Health & Body

    Don’t Breathe A Word About This

    | MA, USA | Employees, Health & Body

    (I am visiting my mother in a nursing home. She has a roommate, but keeps the curtain between the two beds closed.)

    Roommate: *unintelligible*

    Mom: “Go see what she wants.”

    (I get up and go around the curtain.)

    Roommate: “Ask your mother to ring the nurse. My call button isn’t working.”

    Me: “The light over your bed is on.”

    Roommate: “I rang for the nurse 40 minutes ago and nobody has come.”

    Me: “The light over the door is on, as well.”

    Roommate: “My oxygen tube has fallen out and I’m getting dizzy.”

    Me: *sprints down hall to nurse’s station*

    The Drugs Don’t Work And Neither Do You

    , | Nashville, TN, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Job Seekers, Theme Of The Month

    (A woman sits down across from me at Starbucks, at an interview for a teaching position. Before I can even get a word in, she bursts out with this…)

    Woman: “Do y’all drug test? Because I can’t pass one and I don’t plan on being able to anytime soon.”

    Me: “I think we’re done here…”

    (Shortest. Interview. Ever.)

    First Day Shake Downs

    | ON, Canada | Health & Body, Job Seekers, Theme Of The Month

    (I go for a job interview at an office and as I’m early stop off in the bathroom to check my appearance. While I’m there someone uses a stall and then walks out without washing her hands. I find this really gross, but don’t dare say anything. Five minutes later I go to the interview room:)

    Interviewer: “Hello, I’m [Interviewer]. You must be [My Name].” *holds out hand to shake*

    (Guess whose hand I had to shake?)

    Didn’t Really Apply Himself

    | Indianapolis, IN, USA | Health & Body, Job Seekers, Theme Of The Month

    (While working one day, a gentleman comes in. From the floor up, he was wearing: sandals, dirty, stained shorts which were sagging, dirty boxers that I wish I hadn’t seen, a dirty, stained, hole-filled wifebeater and a stained shirt. To top it off, he was unshaven and had multiple piercings and gauges in each ear.)

    Him: *pulling a stained, creased, application out of his pocket* “Yeah, I wanna see about getting a job.”

    Me: *barely wanting to touch his application* “I’ll review this and get back to you.”

    (I may have lost his application.)

    Will Be Saying Bye Bye Baby In June

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Job Seekers

    (I am applying for a temporary office position. I am seven months pregnant and wearing an obvious maternity outfit. The interviewer is a young man.)

    Interviewer: “You do realize that this is only a temporary position.”

    Me: “Well, yes. I can only work until about the second week of June anyway.”

    Interviewer: “Why, what will be happening in June?”

    Me: *pointing down at abdomen*This is happening.”

    Interviewer: “Um, what?…”

    (I did eventually get through to him that I was pregnant, and I did get the job!)


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