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  • Saying It Over And Ovarian
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  • Category: Health & Body

    Broken Hearted

    | Eugene, OR, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Health & Body, New Hires

    (My baby brother has a heart condition that makes his heart sound strange, but is otherwise healthy. My mother and I are at the doctor’s for a regular check-up, and a medical student is there to examine him.)

    Medical Student: “All right, let’s check his heartbeat.”

    (He pulls out a stethoscope and starts moving it around on my brother’s chest, but when he finds his heart the medical student stops moving and turns white.)

    Mom: “What’s happening? Is he all right?”

    Medical Student: *very slowly* “Oh, no, we’re fine…”

    Mom: “Oh, he has a weird sounding heart, but he’s healthy.”

    Medical Student: “Oh, thank god! I didn’t know what to do!”

    Sick Of Your Sick Attitude

    | NJ, USA | Coworkers, Health & Body, Lazy/Unhelpful, Theme Of The Month

    (I have been with this company for roughly three years. In that time I have called out a total of two times. One of my current coworkers, Coworker #2, has called out at least once every other week since I started this department, a month after he started his job there, and always tries to cheat his breaks and punches. I wake up feeling unwell one morning and, brushing it off as early morning blues, go in anyway. Ten minutes into my shift my coworker calls out claiming to not feel well. Knowing I still have to be at my second job, I’m trying to talk myself through the day now having to juggle my job and my now absent coworker’s. An hour and a half before I’m scheduled to leave, I suddenly get light headed.)

    Me: *sitting down* “I need to stop for a moment… I’m going to take my break now.”

    Coworker #1: *offering me a piece of chocolate* “Here, you don’t eat enough… Probably why you’re dizzy.”

    Me: *feeling worse* “No, I don’t think I should eat anything.”

    (Suddenly, I feel really sick and barely make it to the trash can to throw up. Coworker #1 rushes out to the other two working the floor, one who acts as a manager at times.)

    Coworker #1: *walking back to me* “You work too hard, you know. That’s why you’re sick. Never taking breaks, working two jobs…”

    (Most management here is notorious for giving employees a hard time for saying you don’t feel well or calling out, generally acting as if you’re all lazy kids trying to get out of work, but I’m promptly sent home, with several employees and two managers fussing over me to be certain I’m all right. Two days later I’m back at work, no longer sick but exhausted from it.)

    Coworker #2: *upon hearing I was sent home early* “They sent you home?!”

    Me: *blinking a few times, not sure why he’s so agitated* “Yeah, I was pretty bad the other day…”

    Coworker #2: *scoffs* “Well, aren’t you lucky. They never even CARE when I come in sick.”

    (He stomps off past the floor to the bathrooms for a bathroom break, even though he’s been there about 20 minutes.)

    Coworker #3: *walking up to me* “Well, of course they don’t care when he comes in sick… That’s how he acts all the time. And he’s not YOU.”

    Me: “You mean a self-inflicted workaholic?”

    Coworker #3: “Yeah… that.”

    Saying It Over And Ovarian

    | Long Beach, CA, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Religion

    (I have to have a hysterectomy due to severe endometriosis and ovarian cysts. I am literally slowly bleeding to death. I am 42, and I never had or wanted children. The disease has rendered me completely sterile, so the point is moot. As I’m checking into the hospital for pre-lab work, the nurse examining me chirps in.)

    Nurse: “You know this surgery will make you sterile?”

    Me: “Yes, I know, but I’m already sterile from the disease anyway.”

    Nurse: “That means you can’t have a baby.”

    Me: “Fine, I know. I don’t want any.”

    (This goes on back and forth until the nurse is practically shouting at me about how a hysterectomy means that I ‘can’t make widdle adowable babieeees.’ Once all the lab work is done, I high-tail it out of there, thinking that the nurse is a few bricks shy of a load. Fast forward to four days later, the morning of my surgery. Sure enough, it’s that same nurse.)

    Nurse: “You realize you won’t be able to have children after the surgery?”

    Me: “Yes, I know. I never wanted any. Never will.”

    Nurse: “Are you sure you don’t want to have one before the surgery? We can tell the doctor you want to postpone the operation!”

    Me: “I am having the surgery to save my life as I keep hemorrhaging! I know I won’t have a child after they remove my uterus, Fallopian tubes, and ovaries. I’m sterile now. I’ve always been sterile, and I do NOT want a baby!”

    Nurse: *huffs at me* “Well! You know your godly duty as a woman is to have children! You’re going to Hell!”

    (Yup, I reported her to my surgeon before I went under the knife and I didn’t see that nurse for the rest of my hospital stay.)

    This Conversation Died A Premature Death

    , | NSW, Australia | Bosses & Owners, Health & Body, Money

    (I work as a delivery driver for a well-known pizza franchise in Australia. It is currently after hours, so the manager and I are cleaning up the store before we leave. Having already counted out my tips, I throw a few coins into a donation box we have set up on the counter.)

    Manager: *poking his head out* “What was that?”

    Me: “I was just putting some of my tips into the donation box here.”

    Manager: *with a strange look on his face* “I see…”

    Me: “Is something wrong?”

    Manager: “Well, it’s just that I don’t believe in supporting that sort of thing.”

    Me: *looking at the box* “Cancer research?”

    Manager: “Yeah. You see, people are living longer than ever now, so I think we need diseases like cancer to function as population control.”

    (I’m pretty dumbfounded by this explanation, because normally this manager is a very reasonable guy. Not wanting to be rude, I decide to discuss the topic rationally.)

    Me: “Okay. But what would happen if you or someone you cared about got sick from one of these diseases? Would you still feel the same way then?”

    Manager: *almost proudly* “Yeah!”

    (That was pretty much the end of that conversation.)

    More Than Meets The Black Eye

    , | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Health & Body

    (One my good friends has a very energetic dog that is lacking in discipline, to put it politely. The last time I went over to his place, as I bent over to take off my shoes the dog jumped up into my face, snout first, giving me a black eye. The next day I stop by a fast food place with one of my friends and we are laughing and joking around as we set up to order. The cashier sees me…)

    Cashier: “Ooooh, baby! What happened?”

    Me: “Huh?”

    Cashier: “Is someone hurting you?”

    (Realizing she is referring to my eye I respond but since I’m a little startled by her concern I trip over my words.)

    Me: “Oh… um… my eye? Yeah, my friend’s dog did this. He jumped… into my face.”

    Cashier: “Mmmm-hmmm. Is THAT what REALLY happened?”

    Me: “Well, yeah. It was a big dog. Thanks for worrying, though. Can I just get an order of [order]?”

    Cashier: “Sure, that will be [amount].” *under her breath* “Man shouldn’t be hitting on no young girls like that.”


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