• A Pre-Ordered Chip On His Shoulder
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  • April's Theme Of The Month: Losing My Religion!

    Category: Health & Body

    Failing Medication

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I’m trying to change to a pharmacy that’s closer to my place. I go up to the closest desk. It looks like they’ve just hired some new staff.)

    Me: “Hi. I need to pick up my prescription, but I usually get it at a different place. Can I get it done here instead?”

    Woman: “Over at the other desk. You’ll need to give them your information.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    (I go over to the other desk, only to be ignored by the trainees. The pharmacist tells one of them to help me. The same woman walks over.)

    Woman: “So, I need your last name and first name.”

    Me: “It’s [spelled out Last Name] and [spelled out First Name].”

    Woman: “Oh, wait, I’m not in the system! Help!”

    (She gets help getting in, and then gets my information again.)

    Woman: “So, your first name is C-A-S-E-N-D-R-A?”

    Me: “No. C-A-S-S-A-N-D-R-A.”

    Woman: “….No ‘E’, two ‘S’?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Woman: “And your address?”

    Me: “[1-2-3-4] N-O-”

    Woman: “Wait! Too fast! [1-2-2-3]?”

    Me: *starting to doubt this place* “[1-2-3-4) N-O-”

    Woman: “‘N’ as in Norma?”

    Me: “…Yes. [Rest of address].”

    Woman: “Phone number?”

    Me: “YYY-ZZZ-AAAA”

    Woman: “It’s not showing up.”

    Me: *thinking I gave the wrong number* “What about YYY-WWW-AAAA?”

    Woman: “No… Help!”

    (The pharmacist comes over and clicks a button.)

    Woman: “Phone number?”

    Me: *looking up number to be sure* “YYY-ZZZ-AAAA.”

    Woman: “Hey, it worked! And the location to transfer from?”

    Me: “It’s [Location].”

    Woman: “Oh, I don’t know that one… Wait, is it in [same location, different name]?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Woman: “And the medication?”

    Me: “It’s [Medication].”

    Woman: *blank look*

    Me: “…It’s a birth control pill.”

    Woman: “OH! Oh, yes, that!”

    Me: “When can I get it?”

    Woman: “What?”

    Me: “I usually get it in three month packs. I’m on my last month. When can I get it?”

    Woman: “Well, we need to call it in…. You get it as three month doses?”

    Me: “Yeah. I just opened my last pack. I need another three months worth. When can I get it?”

    Woman: “Try… later.”

    Me: “Thanks.”

    (Here’s hoping I get it!)

    Birthing New Stupid, Part 2

    | England, UK | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I’ve previously suffered what can be classed as ‘nausea attacks’ previously and been tests for various ailments that have come back clear. I move to a new town and a few months later have another bout of nausea so go to my new doctor.)

    Me: “I’ve suffered from this previously and had [names of tests] done but they came back clear but I was told to return to a GP if the symptoms come back.”

    Female Doctor: “So what is wrong?”

    Me: “Well, I am feeling sick—”

    Female Doctor: “You’re pregnant.”

    Me: *rather shocked as although I am on the pill and have a long time partner I know I am not pregnant* “No, I’m not. I’ve had this happen before.”

    Female Doctor: “Well, you’re pregnant now.”

    Me: “I highly doubt that.”

    Female Doctor: “Go pee in a cup and I’ll prove it.”

    Me: “No, I know I am not pregnant and I don’t need the bathroom right now.”

    Female Doctor: “Well, buy a pregnancy test and stop wasting my time.”

    (I leave, amazed that she never listened or looked at my medical history. I did buy a test and it was negative and two years down the line I’ve still not given birth!)

    Birthing New Stupid

    Getting An Earful About Being Normal

    | Tampa, FL, USA | Employees, Health & Body

    (A nurse is examining my ears.)

    Nurse: “This ear canal is smaller than your other.”

    Me: “Is that normal?”

    Nurse: “Is there anything normal about you?”

    (We had a good laugh, but she never did tell whether or not it’s normal!)

    Shaved From Embarrassment

    | The Netherlands | Awesome Customers, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (It has been a very long day and my brain has switched to auto-pilot, going through the routine automatically. I am working the cash registry and we keep perfumes, after-shaves, and smokes behind the registry.)

    Customer: “Do you have [Brand]?”

    Me: *turns around and starts looking through the shelves of eau de cologne and after-shaves* “Yes, sir. We have the scent and the after-shave. Which one do you want?”

    Customer: *snickering* “Does it look like I’d need the after-shave?”

    (I turn around, and stare at his face with a full beard. He is still laughing and I’m trying to save face.)

    Me: “Uhm… maybe for somewhere else?”

    (The customer bursts out in laughter while I realise what I said and start to die of embarrassment.)

    Customer: “I do shave there, miss, but I wouldn’t want to use after-shave on that!”

    Should Switch To De-Cath

    | UK | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (My brother has just had a hospital procedure which means he has to have a urinary catheter for a week or so. He is just about to leave hospital, and the nurse is checking the catheter and the attached urine collection bag, which is strapped to his leg.)

    Brother: “So, how do I shower with this?”

    Nurse: “You can just disconnect the bag, and let the catheter drip while you’re in the shower. Then put the bag on again afterwards.”

    Brother: “So, I should just leave the end of the catheter exposed?”

    Nurse: “Yes, it won’t matter if urine comes out, you are in the shower after all.”

    Brother: “But the doctor said anytime I disconnected the bag, I had to make sure and follow sterile procedures to avoid infection.”

    Nurse: “Yes, that’s right.”

    Brother: “So if I get in the shower with the end of the catheter exposed, how is that sterile? Won’t it expose me to infection?”

    Nurse: “Of course! You should never do that, you’ll cause infection.”

    Brother: “So, um, how should I shower then?”

    Nurse: “With the bag attached, of course. You can change it afterwards. You should never leave the open catheter exposed.”

    Brother: “You do realise you just contradicted yourself?”

    Nurse: “What?”

    Brother: “Never mind…”

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