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  • Don’t Just Be Married To Work
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  • Category: Health & Body

    Radio Inactive, Part 2

    | Detroit, MI, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I’m at the hospital about to have major surgery to correct a birth defect. I’ve been getting x-rays quite a bit over the previous few months and am asked the same questions every time.)

    Tech: “Is there any chance that you could be pregnant?”

    Me: “No. Look, I realize you have to ask but I’m 13 years old and have my mother sitting right next to me. If there was a chance, do you REALLY think I would tell the truth?”

    Tech: “…”

    Mom: *almost falling over laughing*

    Related:
    Radio Inactive

    Sure Beats Going Spinning

    | Bremerton, WA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Themed Giveaway

    (One of my male coworkers has recently found out that his wife is pregnant. A female coworker and I [also female] are discussing it with him.)

    Me: “Oh, yeah, and make sure she does her kegels.”

    Coworker #1: “What’s a kegel?”

    Coworker #2: “It’s exercises for her hoo-hah.”

    Coworker #1: “What?! That exists?”

    Me: “If she wants any kind of real bladder control after the baby, she’ll wanna do them.”

    Coworker #2: “The hospital will show her how.”

    Coworker #1: *looking more and more distressed* “They’ll SHOW her?!”

    Coworker #2: “Uh, they’ll explain it to her.”

    Me: *snorts* “Yeah, they’ll demonstrate for her. ‘Just do it like this, ma’am!’” *I paste on a creepy grin, stare Coworker #1 dead in the eye, and don’t move* “See? I just did, like, 18 in a row.”

    Coworker #2: “Basically.”

    Me: “Basically.”

    Coworker #1: “Oh, my god. I need brain bleach.”

    Boss: *from outside* “WHO BROKE [COWORKER #1]?!”

    Swelling With Anger

    | Germany | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Employees, Health & Body, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I have a condition which causes my legs to swell immensely to the point of severe pain. I am entering a clothing store with my mother, looking for a pair of trousers for a funeral. Having accompanied my mother for several hours already, my legs hurt.  When my mother goes to try on some trousers, I find a chair near the fitting rooms, sit down, and dig through my purse for my bottle of water and my painkillers. A worker comes up to me, gesturing at the chair.)

    Worker: “You need to get up. Now!”

    (She is speaking really urgently, and I get up, sighing from pain and stand there, while she grabs the chair and sits down herself. I am confused, but decide it might be best not to show it, so I ask if she might has another chair.)

    Me: “Excuse me, but do you have another chair I might use? My legs are really swollen, and I’m in pain and—”

    Worker: *cuts me off with a glare* “Lose some weight, and get out of my way. Fatties like you have no right to wear pretty clothes. You are ruining it for all the ones that are looking good!”

    (My mother left the fitting room, threw the trousers into the worker’s face, her face red from anger, having heard what the woman said to me. She brought me to the outside waiting area in the mall and returned to the shop. A few minutes later she came back with not one, but two gift cards worth €50, and explained to me that the manager had profusely apologised for the woman’s behaviour. We found out later that the worker was fired for generally being a bad worker, verbally abusing customers, and refusing help.)

    Little Yellow Lies

    | Telford, England, UK | Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body, History, School, Tourists & Travel

    (I work as a magical clown at a theme park aimed at children aged eight and under. Between shows I wander around the park chatting to everyone, drumming up interest for my next performance. The weather this day has quite a bit of rain. I happen to pass by the medieval castle where a small party of school children are standing under the parapet. Their escort, a cast member dressed as Captain Hook, is trying to stop them from doing something.)

    Captain Hook: “Stop that. It’s not clean!”

    (The children are stood under some guttering that is leaking. The rain run-off from the parapet is flowing out of the gap in the guttering, and into the mouths of the children stood below.)

    Captain Hook: “Please, stop it!”

    Kid #1: “It’s just rain water.”

    Me: “Hey kids!” *they turn and look at me* “You see Robin Hood and his friends up there?”

    (I point up to the top of the castle, where cast members dressed as Robin Hood and his merry men are placed.)

    Kids: “Yeah?”

    Me: “Well, they live up there on the tower. They don’t have a toilet up there, unfortunately, so when they need to go for a wee, where do you think they go?”

    Kid #2: “Over the wall?”

    Me: “No, they go on the floor. Now, all that wee then runs off through the gaps in the wall into the guttering…”

    Kids: “Oh…” *realizes* “EWWWWW!” *cue much spitting*

    Me: *to Captain Hook* “Lying to kids is the best part of my job!”

    Some Coworkers Are Just Suffocating

    , | TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Health & Body, Physical

    (I am shift leader. A kitchen worker on evening shift is slightly autistic, and very claustrophobic. He is a really nice kid and a hard worker. I walk into the kitchen and see the line cooks laughing around the freezer. I go to see what’s going on.)

    Me: “Hey, what’s so funny?”

    Coworker: “Oh, we just put [Autistic Kid] in the freezer. He walked in to put the pickles up and we closed the door!”

    (Horrified I shove past them and yank the door open. He is curled up on the ground, hyperventilating.)

    Me: “[Autistic Kid], are you okay?!”

    (He just shakes his head and I take him to the front end and tell another coworker to make him a shake, and that I will pay for it. I then go back to chew out the line cooks. The manager hears me and comes around the corner.)

    Manager: “Oh, lighten up, [My Name]. It was just a harmless joke! He was fine.”

    Me: “Well, I didn’t find it funny and neither did he! He could have had a full panic attack and needed to go to the hospital! I hope you realise that he could sue you and the company for the ‘innocent joke’ you just pulled!”

    (He just scoffed and told me to go back to work. The kid quit after that day, after thanking me for saving him, and I left after another two months.)


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