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    Category: Money

    Laundry Is Hung And Quartered

    | MI, USA | Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful, Money

    (I live in southern Michigan, which is not very far from Canada. I have opened a coin roll at the bank, as lately I have not been getting entirely American coinage.)

    Me: “Excuse me; three of these quarters are Canadian. I’d like you to switch them for American quarters, please.”

    Teller: “I don’t see why; they’re just the same.”

    Me: “Oh, well then. I’ve got a Canadian ten dollar bill, too. Can I get another roll of American quarters with it? If they’re just the same.”

    Teller: “No! Canadian currency isn’t worth as much as ours!”

    Me: “Exactly! Now that we’ve established that, please exchange these Canadian quarters you gave me for the American ones I paid for, as I asked you to do.”

    Teller: “I don’t see why it’s such a big deal. It’s hardly any difference.”

    Me: “In the first place, that’s not your call to make. In the second, vending machines won’t take Canadian coins. I can’t do my laundry on Canadian quarters.”

    Teller: *with gigantic put-upon sigh* “Oh, all right!”

    Me: “Yes, I know; how outrageous that I expect a bank to deliver legal tender of the country it’s actually in.”

    The Salon Doesn’t Make The Cut

    , | Seattle, WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Employees, Money

    (I’m helping with a fundraiser at the local mall. We have various stalls set up selling special items or offering special services, with all the profits going to charity. A woman that recently opened a hair salon arrives and asks to speak to one of the staff as she sets up.)

    Woman: “You know, I was thinking on the way over here. This is usually a day off for me, yet I’ve agreed to come in and work for you.”

    Me: “Yes, well, it’s for a good cause.”

    Woman: “Yeah, but I’m not going to see a single penny for today.”

    Me: “Again, that’s because it’s going to charity.”

    Woman: “I know but… well, I’m just going to come out and say it: I don’t think this is at all fair for me, so I want to ask for an amendment to be made.”

    Me: “And that is?”

    Woman: “Either I get 50% of the profits from today, or I walk.”

    (There is a moment of stunned silence. Slowly I look around at the other people, many of whom have likewise agreed to come and work on their days off without protest.)

    Me: “Well, I guess you walk, then.”

    Woman: “…What?!”

    Me: “If you don’t want to work for free, then you’re free to leave.”

    Woman: “Wha… but… I’ve got folks coming for me to do their hair today! They’ll be wondering where I am!”

    Me: “Then I’ll tell them what you said about demanding the right to take money from charity.”

    Woman: “WHAT?! But that’ll kill business for me!”

    Me: “Well, that’s on you. Everyone here agreed to the hours and the terms of this fundraiser, and none of them have expressed the selfish attitude I’m hearing from you.”

    Woman: “Okay, I’ll stay! I’ll stay!”

    (She frantically begins setting up, then goes to work without a peep. Thinking that’s that, I go back to helping with the other businesses who’re participating. A few hours later I’m approached by another lady.)

    Lady: “Hey, I don’t want to complain, but the woman from the hair salon over there? She’s been telling every customer she’s worked with how unfair it is that you’re not paying her for this charity event. It’s making several people rather uneasy.”

    Me: *sigh* “Hold on. I’ll get my manager.”

    (We contacted security and promptly have her removed from the mall. Surprisingly, she still managed to stay in business afterwards.)

    Never Miss A Pizza The Action

    | Levittown, PA, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Money

    (My family has been regulars at our local pizza place, ordering from them at least once a week for more than 14 years. My mom is on her way home with money to pay, but as there is a toddler in the house, we don’t wait to order and the pizza arrives before the money does. The driver is the one who usually delivers and gives us the food, telling us that he can come back later. This is what he told me when he came back.)

    Driver: “Don’t ever worry about taking the food. You guys order like twice a week and I know where you live in case I ever have to come shake you down.”

    Bail On The Wholesale

    | USA | Bosses & Owners, Money

    (I just got hired for a job. My job is to assist customers with their questions. One day I approach my boss.)

    Me: “Boss, this idea that people can buy things at a good discount seems okay. How much for the membership?”

    Boss: “About 5K.”

    (My jaw drops.)

    Me: “Five THOUSAND dollars? And people still have to pay for things?”

    Boss: “They still save money! It’s a steal!”

    (I’m about to say ‘I don’t see how’ but decided to keep my mouth shut and hope no customer asks me to explain how they save money. But my boss can tell I’m skeptical anyway and she is upset. Later, a very upset customer DOES ask me to explain to him how he’ll save money.)

    Me: “Well, um… er… I’ll just get the sales manager to explain.”

    (Unfortunately, my boss has heard what I said and tells me sternly to go to her office. I’m fired on the spot. Later, I check my email and guess who’s now spamming my inbox with their ads that I’ll save?)

    Take A Swipe At An Easy Purchase

    | IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Money

    (I’m making a small purchase at a local food store.)

    Cashier: “That’ll be one dollar, please.”

    Me: “Really? One dollar flat?”

    Cashier: “Yes sir, just one dollar.”

    Me: *swipes dollar bill, then hands it to her* “Here you go.”

    Cashier: “Thank you.” *swipes receipt* “Have a great day!”


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