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    Category: Money

    Bail On The Wholesale

    | USA | Bosses & Owners, Money

    (I just got hired for a job. My job is to assist customers with their questions. One day I approach my boss.)

    Me: “Boss, this idea that people can buy things at a good discount seems okay. How much for the membership?”

    Boss: “About 5K.”

    (My jaw drops.)

    Me: “Five THOUSAND dollars? And people still have to pay for things?”

    Boss: “They still save money! It’s a steal!”

    (I’m about to say ‘I don’t see how’ but decided to keep my mouth shut and hope no customer asks me to explain how they save money. But my boss can tell I’m skeptical anyway and she is upset. Later, a very upset customer DOES ask me to explain to him how he’ll save money.)

    Me: “Well, um… er… I’ll just get the sales manager to explain.”

    (Unfortunately, my boss has heard what I said and tells me sternly to go to her office. I’m fired on the spot. Later, I check my email and guess who’s now spamming my inbox with their ads that I’ll save?)

    Take A Swipe At An Easy Purchase

    | IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Money

    (I’m making a small purchase at a local food store.)

    Cashier: “That’ll be one dollar, please.”

    Me: “Really? One dollar flat?”

    Cashier: “Yes sir, just one dollar.”

    Me: *swipes dollar bill, then hands it to her* “Here you go.”

    Cashier: “Thank you.” *swipes receipt* “Have a great day!”

    Leaving Them Penniless

    | ON, Canada | Bosses & Owners, Money

    (I am the customer. In Canada, pennies have been phased out. For over two years, businesses have had to round any change to the nearest five cents, so that pennies wouldn’t keep going through circulation. Pennies would obviously still be paid for exactly when paying with debit, credit, or cheques. I make my purchase and the shop owner owes me $5.51)

    Owner: “Oh, shoot I’m sorry, hon, I don’t have any pennies to give you.”

    Me: “Um, you shouldn’t.”

    Owner: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “You shouldn’t have pennies… They were phased out over two years ago…”

    Owner: “Phased out?”

    Me: “Yeah, customers can still pay with pennies if they want, but you aren’t allowed to give them back out. They all have to go back to the bank… ’cause they’re getting rid of pennies.”

    Owner: “Oh, yeah?”

    Me: “…Yeah.”

    Owner: “That’s strange. But now I don’t have a penny to give you.”

    Me: “You’re not supposed to give me a penny. Same with if I owed you a penny. I wouldn’t have to give it to you. You’re supposed to round. So if you owed me 53 cents instead of 51, you would have to give me 55 cents back.”

    Owner: “Oh, that’s strange.”

    Me: “Um, not really.”

    Owner: “Weird. I was wondering why I never had any pennies anymore!”

    Loan Some Compassion

    | Canada | Crazy Requests, Employees, Money

    (I borrow money from the government student loan branch but after my schooling find myself out of work for a year. The loan defaults back to two separate branches of government. The first, whom I owed the larger amount to are completely understanding of my situation and just advise me to notify them when I have employment. I next call the other branch for the smaller amount, which is less than $1000.)

    Me: “I was just calling to advise you that I have been unemployed for a while and am not able to make any payments. I was just wondering what kind of interest would be building on this while it sits?”

    Employee: *sarcastically* “I am sooo sorry to hear about your situation. But the fact is that the full amount needs to be paid immediately.”

    Me: “I can’t pay it right now. I can’t afford it.”

    Employee: “Do you know how many times a day I hear these kind of excuses from lazy deadbeats like you? I don’t understand why you can’t just pay your bill.”

    Me: “As I just explained, I am out of work right now and have been for some time. I’m living at home and have to borrow money from my parents just to put gas in the car to go job hunting.”

    Employee: “Well, just sell something you own.”

    Me: “I don’t own anything! I still live at home and I drive my mom’s car! I’m broke! Penniless!”

    Employee: “Well, just borrow the money from your parents!”

    Me: “I am talking to you right now out of the pure fact that I borrowed money and can’t pay it back and your genius solution is for me to borrow more money?!”

    Employee: “Well, just get a job!”

    Me: “Are you offering me one?”

    Employee: “What?! No!”

    Me: “Well, then I guess you’ll just have to wait on your money.”

    Gave Him More Than He Could Chew

    | Guanajuato, Mexico | At The Checkout, Money

    (My uncle is the customer in this story. He lives in a large city in Mexico. On the corner of the street there is a small, family-owned convenience store. In Mexico, the smallest coin is .50 cents, the usual cost for a small packet of gum. Most of these stores give out packets of gum when they do not have change; of course, they usually ask if this is ok.)

    Uncle: “I’ll take a quart of milk, please.”

    Cashier: “That’ll be $11.50.”

    Uncle: *hands cashier $12*

    Cashier: *takes money gives back a packet of gum as change*

    (The following day:)

    Uncle: “I’ll take a kilo of eggs, a quart of milk, and a loaf of bread.”

    Cashier: “That’ll be $62.50.”

    Uncle: *hands cashier $65*

    Cashier: *takes money and gives back $2 and a packets of gum as change*

    (This happens for several occasions. The cashier would give him back packets of gum as change whenever there was a .50 cent difference. Then one day…)

    Uncle: “I’ll take a quart of milk, please.”

    Cashier: “That’ll be $11.50.”

    Uncle: *takes $11.50 worth of packets of gum, and hands them to the cashier*

    Cashier: *stares at him blankly*

    Uncle: *takes milk and walks away*

    (After that whenever my uncle went back into the store and bought something, the cashier would always give him his exact change. No more packets of gum!)

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