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    Category: Money

    Paying Attention Is Rare Currency

    | NY, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Money

    (I’ve just landed in New York City to visit my boyfriend. I’m going to be using my boyfriend’s credit card over here as mine has huge international charges. I have a £20 note I took out just before my flight, and no change whatsoever.)

    Me: “Hi, I’d like to change this into US dollars.”

    Worker: “Okay, I can give you $40 for £25.45.”

    Me: “No, I only have this £20.”

    Worker: “Okay, how about $35 for £22.27.”

    Me: “No. I literally only have this £20.”

    Worker: “I’d just need £22.27 for the $35.”

    Me: *turning my purse over and shaking it* “I don’t have any change. I literally only have £20.”

    Worker: “Oh. OH! You only have £20.”

    The Situation Isn’t Fluid

    | KY, USA | Employees, Money, Technology

    (My husband and I visit a town in Kentucky quite frequently, though we live about three hours away. We decide to buy a small house to stay in when we come to the town. We had only been in the house once, for a two day period.)

    Worker: “Good day, ma’am. How can I help you?

    Me: “I’m calling about my water bill. I think there is a mistake with the meter.”

    Worker: “Ma’am, all meters in your area were replaced recently. There is surely no problem at all.”

    Me: “Actually, that is one thing I wanted to mention. The problem didn’t start until after the meter was replaced. Anyway, it must be malfunctioning. This reading is much too high.”

    Worker: *already growing impatient* “Ma’am, I can swear that our meters are in perfect working order. There is no way that your reading is too high.”

    Me: “My husband and I couldn’t have possibly used as much water as this reading says we did. We’ve only been in that house for two days this month.”

    Worker: “Ma’am, I’m sure you’re mistaken. You must have just used more water than you usually do.”

    Me: “So you mean to tell me that four fifteen minute showers and running the dishwasher once used 60,000 gallons of water?”

    Worker: “…We’ll have someone out this Friday sometime between two and four.” *hangs up quickly*

    (No one showed up that Friday. They have yet to fix the meter.)

    Questioning Your Security Methods

    | CA, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Money

    (A few years ago I called into a customer service center to alter service on my account.)

    Representative: “How may I help you?”

    Me: “I’d like to remove [service] from my account as I’m not using it anymore.”

    Representative: “Sure thing. Can I get your account number?”

    Me: “[Account number].”

    Representative: “And your name?”

    Me: “[My Name].”

    Representative: “Great. Now to verify your identity, can you please tell me your security question?”

    Me: “…excuse me?”

    Representative: “Can you please provide me with your security question?”

    Me: “I don’t know my security question. You’re supposed to provide me the question so I can answer it.”

    Representative: “I’m sorry, sir, but we need you to provide your security question in order to verify your identity before I can continue.”

    Me: “But that makes no sense. Nobody makes a customer memorize the question, only the answer. There are countless possible questions each company can ask, and I can’t be expected to memorize both the question AND the answer.”

    Representative: “Sir, if you can’t provide me the security question to verify your identity, I’ll have to terminate this call.”

    Me: “I’ll save you the trouble.”

    (I called back a few minutes later and got a different rep who understood how security questions work.)

    Finally On The Money

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Awesome Customers, Money

    (I volunteer to answer phones for a charity event to get pledges. We are supposed to answer ‘hello, thank you for calling [Charity]. My name is [My Name]. May I take your pledge amount?’)

    Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [My actual full time job Company]… Er, no, I meant, thank you for calling [Other Company I work at part time]… Wait, no, that’s not right…” *getting really flustered* “Thank you for calling… Oh, heck, just give me your money!”

    (The caller thought it was hilarious and pledged $500!)

    Money Makes The World Go Round

    | OR, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Money

    (After graduating college, I am unable to find full-time work in a bad economy and take the first job that I am offered. It doesn’t pay very well and unfortunately, there are quite a few weeks where I am assigned to work ten hours or less. I am looking for another job, but have to deal with bill collectors more often that I would like. This one in particular takes the cake. After ten minutes into the conversation, she begins making suggestions as to how I can give her more money.)

    Bill Collector: “I see you’ve been making payments to us, but they’re smaller than the minimum.”

    Me: “Yes. While I’d like to pay you more, I’m afraid I’m not making much at all right now, and that’s the most I can give you for the time being.”

    Bill Collector: “Can you borrow money from your parents?”

    Me: “No, my stepfather has been out of work for more than a year, and my mother is supporting them both, plus my disabled brother, on one income. They do not have money to lend me.”

    (I can hear the frustration in her voice. I think she must get some kind of bonus for getting people to make payments, because her next suggestion makes me think she’s grasping at straws.)

    Bill Collector: “Well… you could collect bottles and cans for redemption value, and all the money you get from that, you could give to us.”

    Me: “I already return my bottles and cans, ma’am. I use that money to buy toilet paper when I don’t have the funds for that sort of thing.”

    (There’s silence as she tries to think of other ways that she could get money from me, rather than just accept the smaller monthly amount as a good-faith payment until I am earning enough to make the minimum and beyond. I wonder if she’s hung up the phone, when she suddenly barks in frustration:)

    Bill Collector: “You just need a job that pays more!”

    (It took all of my willpower not to sarcastically reply that she had solved all of my problems forever.)


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