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    Category: Money

    Solving Your Cash Flow Problem

    | WI, USA | Employees, Money

    (I have a check that I need to deposit at my bank, but I need it to pay a bill online immediately. I head inside.)

    Me: “Hey, there! Just wondering, is there any way I could cash this check, then deposit the cash into my account so it’s immediately available?”

    Teller: “No, I’m sorry. You can either cash it or deposit it. It will take 1-3 business days to clear if you deposit it.”

    Me: “Oh, okay. Well, just cash then I guess.”

    (I then get the bright idea as I’m leaving to just go through the drive through and try and deposit it there. I think I’m being extremely clever and have beaten the system. But, I’m called out.)

    Teller: *now on drive through speaker* “Ms. [My Name], I already told you that you can’t do this.”

    Me: “I guess I just don’t understand. You just gave me the cash. All you have to do is put it in my account.”

    Teller: “I really can’t do that.”

    Me: “Well, hang on a minute. I can’t do that here… but doesn’t that mean I can just take this exact same handful of cash you gave me to the downtown branch and deposit it there?”

    Teller: *speechless*

    Me: “I’ll take that as a yes. Thanks!”

    (And of course, the downtown branch had no issues.)

    Bet Your Bottle Dollar I Won’t Come Back

    | CA, USA | Employees, Money

    (A major grocery chain’s store near my house has recently changed owners. A customer notices the store’s ads say that Gatorade is $0.67, so she gets a bottle and takes it to the cash register.)

    Customer: “Why is this $1.72? The ad says it’s $0.67.”

    Cashier: “The bottle costs $1.05.”

    (Between this and the fact that they didn’t have enough cashiers and I had to stand in line for a long time, I don’t think I’m going back there anytime soon.)

    Toughness Doesn’t Even Register

    | TN, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Money

    (I’m the manager on duty and have taken advantage of a slow period after a long rush to empty the drawer of the main register at the store’s service desk. There is only one customer ready to check out at the time. It should be noted that I’m a 5’ 3” woman. )

    Cashier: “We’ll be right with you, ma’am. We’re just emptying the drawer.”

    Me: “Shh. Don’t say that. I usually just say I’m fixing the register.”

    Cashier: “Why?”

    Me: “Because they could hear and ambush me on my way to the safe.”

    Cashier: “Oh, you look tough. You could take—” *starts laughing*

    Me: “You couldn’t even finish that with a straight face, could you?”

    You’ll Pay For That

    | Fort Wayne, IN, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Money

    (I work for a very well-known retailer. We do not receive paper checks; rather, our pay is deposited on cards that can be used as debit/credit cards. I am given one of these cards by the husband of one of our cashiers. I immediately recognize the name printed across the front as that of a member of our maintenance crew, who is known for being a pain… and also a friendly acquaintance of my direct supervisor.)

    Me: “[Supervisor]! We HAVE to mess with [Maintenance]!” *I show her the card* “We should tell him that someone bought a TV with it but we didn’t realize it was his until after the customer left because they left the card behind, like on the check stand or something.”

    Supervisor: “Oh, my god. That’s awesome!”

    (We discuss how we are going to play out the prank and my supervisor pages overhead for the maintenance associate to report to the service desk.)

    Maintenance: “What’s up?”

    Supervisor: *as she holds out his card toward him* “Your friend Steve got the TV.”

    Maintenance: *looking confused* “Steve? Who is Steve?”

    Supervisor: “Steve. He got that TV for you and left this with us to get back to you.”

    Maintenance: *a little more worried* “TV? What are you talking about?”

    Supervisor: “That 40-inch Visio you wanted for your apartment. Steve paid for you and left to take it to your place.”

    (Panicked, Maintenance starts reaching for his phone; presumably to check his balance on his card and we can’t hold it in any longer. We burst out laughing and confess the whole thing to be a joke.)

    Maintenance: *to Supervisor* “You’re terrible!”

    Me: *raising my hand enthusiastically* “IT WAS MY IDEA!”

    Maintenance: “What?!”

    Supervisor: “Yeah, [My Name] put me up to it.”

    Me: “But seriously, you should thank [Cashier's Husband]. He found it.”

    (I regaled the tale to one of his closest work friends, who happened to know his PIN, and she said next time he lost track of it she was buying us all sodas on Maintenance.)

    The Bill That Keeps On Billing

    | Bristol, CT, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Money

    (I had my eyes checked while still living in Connecticut, and while I still had insurance. I recently moved to California, and while I set up mail forwarding I wasn’t necessarily getting all my mail from Connecticut. This happens after I call my eye doctor in Connecticut to get a copy of my eye glass and contact prescription information.)

    Me: “Hi. I’m calling because I’d like to get a copy of my eye glass and contact lens prescription. They are less than a year old and I’m going to a new doctor this week and I want to provide records”

    Receptionist: “Of course. Let me look up that information… I see here you have a balance due. Will you be paying that now?”

    Me: “Um, excuse me? What do I have a balance due for?”

    Receptionist: “For your eye exam from last December. If you don’t pay it I can’t give you the information you’ve requested.”

    Me: “Okay, well, I’m not going to pay right this second, considering it’s now 8 months later and this is the first I’m hearing about this.”

    Receptionist: “This is NOT the first time you are hearing about this. We’ve been sending you a bill every month since January and you haven’t paid us. We’re going to have to send you to collections for not paying this bill and refusing to pay it now.”

    Me: “Okay, hold up a second. I never got the bill. I moved shortly after the exam and I set up mail forwarding, but I know that sometimes medical forms cannot be forwarded. Maybe that’s what happened. So, yes, this is the first time I’m hearing about it.”

    Receptionist: “Well, you’re still refusing to pay so I’m going to send you to collections.”

    Me: “I’m not refusing to pay, but I am not just going to pay a bill over the phone without having a bill and the information in front of me. Also, I’d like to call my old insurance company to figure out what happened, because I was supposed to be insured through January. Besides, if I never paid the bill and you had to keep sending notices without any indication that I got them why wasn’t I ever called?”

    Receptionist: “That’s not our policy to call. Besides when people get bills, they just pay them. I don’t know why you didn’t.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m trying to tell you I moved. I never got the bill you sent me. I’m not sure why it wasn’t forwarded, but I never got a bill. Again, I ask how come no one ever called me, and if you knew shortly after said eye exam that my insurance wasn’t going to cover it, after I paid my co-pay and signed the form and your office told me I was all set, how was I supposed to know that I had a balance owed?”

    Receptionist: “You just need to pay your bills when you get them. Why is that so hard to understand? It’s not our fault your insurance didn’t go through! Pay your bill now that you know you owe it!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m not going to pay the bill until I see a bill, and YOUR office told me I was all set when I was checking out. You told me my insurance co-pay was all I needed to pay, so that’s what I paid. I’m sorry for the error, but I didn’t know there was a remaining balance.”

    Receptionist: “We sent you bills every month and you haven’t paid yet. You’re refusing to pay now!”

    Me: “Again, ma’am, I didn’t get the bills in the mail, and no one ever called me. If you had called me and said there was a problem I could have 1) given you my new address so you could send a bill, 2) called my insurance company while they were still my insurance company in January, and  3) got this all taken care before you had to send me multiple bills. At this point me not paying the bill is on you because I was not notified.”

    Receptionist: “It’s not our policy to call people to pay their bills. It’s our policy that we send out bills and people just pay them. That’s what you should have done. People pay their bills, ma’am.”

    Me: “Okay, lady, I’m going to pay the bill. I just want to see it first and I want to call my old insurance company to see if they can figure out what happened. Please send me a bill to my new address and I will attempt to figure it out”

    Receptionist: “So you want the bill sent to 411 East #### City, CT #### ?”

    Me: “Um, no. First off, if that’s the address you’ve been sending the bill too, it was never going to get to me. That’s not even my old address. My address was 311… So, that’s probably why I didn’t get the bill. And second, I just said I was going to give you the address I want it sent to.”

    Receptionist: “Well, it’s not MY fault you gave us the wrong address! And I can’t send it to a different address; I have to send it to the one you provided!”

    Me: “I’m going to stop you right there. I’m pretty sure I filled out a bunch of forms at your office with my correct address on them. I’m also pretty sure I gave you my insurance card, also with my address on it, so someone in your office must have made a typo. So, thank you for sending my medical bills to someone else for the last 8 months. I’m pretty sure I could filed a complaint about that. And another thing, if you HAD JUST CALLED ME when I didn’t pay the bill in January we could have sorted this whole thing out eight months ago. So, no, ma’am, I never received a bill, and no, ma’am, I was not aware of it ever, because your office sent it to the wrong address.”

    Receptionist: “WE DON’T CALL PEOPLE! YOU ARE JUST EXPECTED TO PAY YOUR BILL WHEN WE SEND IT TO YOU!!!”

    Me: “That’s enough. I want to speak to your supervisor!”

    Receptionist: “She’s going to tell you the same thing!” *to her supervisor* “There is a woman on the phone who refuses to pay her bill. I’ve been telling her that we’ve been billing her for eight months and she needs to go to collections!”

    Supervisor: “Ma’am, I’m afraid you’re going to have to pay your bill today. We’ve been billing you for eight months and you haven’t paid at all.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but that’s not what’s happening. I just found out today for some reason my insurance company didn’t pay for the exam from last December. Your receptionist, just told me YOUR office had my address wrong in the system, so that’s why the mail didn’t get forwarded to me in California. She also told me it was not the policy of this office to call people when there is a problem with billing. So, you’re right I refuse to pay this bill today, but not because I’m not going to pay my bill. I just want a copy of the bill sent to me in California, which your receptionist also told me she couldn’t do because it wasn’t the address I provided back in December, which your office put in the system wrong to begin with. I also would like a copy of my glasses and contact prescription sent along with that bill. I need to give it to my new eye doctor.”

    Supervisor: “Ma’am, I can’t give you any information until you pay your bill, and I’ll have to send it to collections if you don’t pay with in 30 days.”

    Me: “Then please send me the bill to my new address and I will get this taken care of. But unless I see a bill, how do I even know what I’m paying for?”

    Supervisor: “I guess we can do that, but you really should have paid the bill when you first got it.”

    Me: *bangs head on desk* “I give up. My new address is [Address in California]. Please send out the bill today and I will get this taken care of.”

    Supervisor: “Okay, but you really need to pay your bill. You haven’t paid it in eight months and we’ve been sending you a new bill every month.”


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