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    Category: Money

    A Bit More Than A Mix-Up

    | Alexandria, VA, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I ordered a couple pizzas and told them I had a coupon. When the delivery guy arrived I looked at the receipt.)

    Me: “$95.30…? No way am I signing this! It should be $25!”

    Delivery Guy: “What?”

    (He looks and then calls his boss. He talks outside for a while, then comes back in and hands me his cell.)

    Manager: “Hi, sorry about that. Can you write a tip on the back, and then I’ll fix everything when the delivery guy gets back.”

    Me: “Um, okay. Please get this taken care of.”

    (I bring up my credit card statement 20 minutes later and see that the $95 is pending, along with another $35 charge. I decide to call the store.)

    Me: “Hey, I am the guy who you guys charged $95. I noticed it is still high. It should be $25.”

    Manager: “Oh, yes, sorry about that. The guy who rang you up is new and gets 9’s and 2’s mixed up. Please hold for a sec.”

    (She then hands the phone to whatever poor soul rang me up.)

    Employee: “Sorry. I get 2’s and 9’s mixed up.”

    (I and friends all face-palm.)

    Not Going According To Protection Plan

    | Poughkeepsie, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    (I am ringing up Customer #1 for a pack of travel toiletry bottles that costs about $5.59. Customer #2 and Customer #3 are waiting patiently for their turn.)

    Me: “Do you want to purchase a two-year protection plan for another $4.99?”

    Customer #1: “Seriously?”

    Me: “I know it’s ridiculous. I had to ask though.”

    Customer #1: “Really. The protection plan costs almost as much as the item itself.”

    Me: “I know. But when the system prompts me to ask, I have to ask.”

    (Customer #1 pays for his order as Customer #2 and Customer #3 watch. Next, it’s Customer #2’s turn and he is buying a nose hair trimmer. Again, a prompt pops up telling me to ask about the plan.)

    Me: “Would you like to buy a two-year protection plan for $4.99?”

    Customer #2: “And I thought nothing could top the last protection plan in absurdity.”

    Me: “I know. I had to ask.”

    (Customer #2 pays. Customer #3, having witnessed the entire thing, comes to buy some paper.)

    Customer #3: *jokingly* “Can I get a protection plan with this?”

    Change-ing Your Mind

    | Munich, Germany | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I have some time to kill before my flight, so I decide to buy some souvenirs at the duty free shop in the airport. I get my stuff and I make my way to the cash register.)

    Cashier: “Your total is €45.90.”

    Me: “Here.” *gives a €50 note and 90 cents*

    Cashier: “This is more than you owe.”

    Me: “Yes, I am giving you the 90 cents so you can give me a €5 note instead of lots of coins.”

    Cashier: “But we do not change banknotes.”

    Me: “Well, I just want to avoid lots of coins… This way you can give me a €5 note.”

    Cashier: “I do not understand why you gave me all this money.”

    Me: “Try entering the amount I gave you in the cash register and see what is says.”

    Cashier: *enters €50.90; system says that the change is €5.00* “Oh, it worked! Here, take your €5 note… unless…”

    Me: “…unless?”

    Cashier: “…unless you prefer your change in coins?”

    Me: “…”

    Free Failing

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests, Job Seekers, Money

    (A friend of mine is unofficially connected to an independent comic and gaming group that produces some stuff online. The owner asks him to go look for more talent for writing the group’s games and such. He knew that I am also an independent author and game developer on the side and occasionally do writing commissions.)

    Friend: “So maybe you’d be interested in doing some writing for their [Their Primary IP] roleplaying game?”

    Me: “Yeah, I could do that. Would he be offering me royalties or a flat commission rate?”

    Friend: “No, no, he can’t afford to give you money in payment.”

    Me: “Ohhhkay. Well, I wouldn’t mind some art from [artist of their group] in exchange for my writing then.”

    Friend: “No, unfortunately he won’t do an art exchange either. [Artist] needs to focus on other paid commissions so that they can pay for other stuff.”

    Me: “So I’d be doing this purely for exposure and my name being on the project?”

    Friend: “He doesn’t want your name on the project either.”

    Me: *long pause*

    Me: “He asked you to go out and “hire” people to do stuff absolutely for free? No compensation whatsoever? And they wouldn’t get to have any credit?”

    Friend: “Yeah, I told him it wouldn’t work very well.”

    Will Need To Pay For The Heart Attack Too

    | TN, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Money

    (I’ve been having health issues, so I’m due for surgery. I call to make a payment on an exploratory surgery that was mandatory for the next to happen.)

    Me: “Hi! I’d like to pay $20 on my bill.”

    Employee: *takes payment* “Okay. Here’s your confirmation code.”

    Me: “Thanks.”

    (I hand up and thinks that’s the end of it when the employee calls back.)

    Employee: “Sorry. Your $20 isn’t good enough. You need to pay $512 dollars before your surgery date or we’ll have to postpone.”

    Me: “What?! I don’t have that kind of money!”

    Employee: “But you need to pay that or we’ll postpone.”

    Me: “Is there nothing I can do? I NEED this surgery!”

    Employee: “Ma’am, your surgery isn’t medically necessary, so we can postpone if you don’t pay.”

    (I ended up having a panic attack and the woman canceled my $20 payment. Luckily the next person I spoke to was much nicer and was horrified the other woman had said my surgery wasn’t necessary!)

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