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    Questioning Your Security Methods

    | CA, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Money

    (A few years ago I called into a customer service center to alter service on my account.)

    Representative: “How may I help you?”

    Me: “I’d like to remove [service] from my account as I’m not using it anymore.”

    Representative: “Sure thing. Can I get your account number?”

    Me: “[Account number].”

    Representative: “And your name?”

    Me: “[My Name].”

    Representative: “Great. Now to verify your identity, can you please tell me your security question?”

    Me: “…excuse me?”

    Representative: “Can you please provide me with your security question?”

    Me: “I don’t know my security question. You’re supposed to provide me the question so I can answer it.”

    Representative: “I’m sorry, sir, but we need you to provide your security question in order to verify your identity before I can continue.”

    Me: “But that makes no sense. Nobody makes a customer memorize the question, only the answer. There are countless possible questions each company can ask, and I can’t be expected to memorize both the question AND the answer.”

    Representative: “Sir, if you can’t provide me the security question to verify your identity, I’ll have to terminate this call.”

    Me: “I’ll save you the trouble.”

    (I called back a few minutes later and got a different rep who understood how security questions work.)

    Finally On The Money

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Awesome Customers, Money

    (I volunteer to answer phones for a charity event to get pledges. We are supposed to answer ‘hello, thank you for calling [Charity]. My name is [My Name]. May I take your pledge amount?’)

    Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [My actual full time job Company]… Er, no, I meant, thank you for calling [Other Company I work at part time]… Wait, no, that’s not right…” *getting really flustered* “Thank you for calling… Oh, heck, just give me your money!”

    (The caller thought it was hilarious and pledged $500!)

    Money Makes The World Go Round

    | OR, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Money

    (After graduating college, I am unable to find full-time work in a bad economy and take the first job that I am offered. It doesn’t pay very well and unfortunately, there are quite a few weeks where I am assigned to work ten hours or less. I am looking for another job, but have to deal with bill collectors more often that I would like. This one in particular takes the cake. After ten minutes into the conversation, she begins making suggestions as to how I can give her more money.)

    Bill Collector: “I see you’ve been making payments to us, but they’re smaller than the minimum.”

    Me: “Yes. While I’d like to pay you more, I’m afraid I’m not making much at all right now, and that’s the most I can give you for the time being.”

    Bill Collector: “Can you borrow money from your parents?”

    Me: “No, my stepfather has been out of work for more than a year, and my mother is supporting them both, plus my disabled brother, on one income. They do not have money to lend me.”

    (I can hear the frustration in her voice. I think she must get some kind of bonus for getting people to make payments, because her next suggestion makes me think she’s grasping at straws.)

    Bill Collector: “Well… you could collect bottles and cans for redemption value, and all the money you get from that, you could give to us.”

    Me: “I already return my bottles and cans, ma’am. I use that money to buy toilet paper when I don’t have the funds for that sort of thing.”

    (There’s silence as she tries to think of other ways that she could get money from me, rather than just accept the smaller monthly amount as a good-faith payment until I am earning enough to make the minimum and beyond. I wonder if she’s hung up the phone, when she suddenly barks in frustration:)

    Bill Collector: “You just need a job that pays more!”

    (It took all of my willpower not to sarcastically reply that she had solved all of my problems forever.)

    Giving Currency To Your Argument

    | England, UK | Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful, Money

    (The finance department is notoriously cheap with anyone they see as not-important.

    If my boss books a hire car, it will be a luxury sedan, when I try to book for the same trip it is a small engine diesel, etc…)

    Me: “Morning, I am here to pick up some currency.”

    Finance: “Well, yes, this is all I have.” *hands me a wad of small bills*

    (I leave to work out the figures, when I find a big problem. I return.)

    Me: “It says here that I have to pay for the hotel.”

    Finance: “Yes.”

    Me: “You have given me 300. The hotel is 200; I will have to take two trains at €5 each and pay for five meals. That is before any travel or emergency.”

    Finance: *stares at me blankly*

    Me: “…It isn’t nearly enough; if I do have to take a taxi then I can’t eat.”

    Finance: “Well, you will have to pay with your own money, then!”

    (This was made all the worse, as I found out later that the flight did not provide any food. As far as just paying for it myself, I was due to fly out on holiday the day after I returned so I had nothing left to spend! I later told my boss what happened. He overruled the department and gave me a company credit card.)

    The Cold Hard Truth About Cold Hard Cash

    | Bakersfield, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Criminal/Illegal, Money

    (I am sweeping up in the lobby when I come across a $50 bill on the floor. It is very near a customer, but he is honest and says it isn’t his. I decide to take it to the lost and found in case someone claims it.)

    Me: *to my manager* “I found this on the floor. I’m sure someone will be looking for it soon.”

    Manager: “Awesome! Thanks.” *he pockets the cash*

    Me: “What? That’s for the lost and found! What if someone comes to claim it?”

    Manager: “You should’ve kept it yourself! Unless they keep track of their money’s serial numbers, they can’t prove that it’s theirs. Take it as a lesson learned!”

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