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    Category: Money

    Can’t Drive The Sale

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Employees, Money, Tourists & Travel, Transportation

    (My family and I fly to Orlando for a week’s vacation. Our flight is delayed, and as a result, we don’t get to the car rental place until 10:00 at night. We are tired and hungry and just want to get our car so that we can go get settled in our hotel. The lineup for the rental counter is huge and takes forever. When it is finally our turn …)

    Me: “Here’s my confirmation number.”

    Employee: “I see that you rented a midsize car.”

    Me: “That’s right.”

    Employee: “But there’s four of you, and all your luggage. A midsize won’t be big enough.”

    Me: “It’ll be fine. Our car at home is no bigger than a midsize, and we got the airport with no problems. We were a little squished, but that was no big deal.”

    Employee: “You should get a full size car instead. You’ll be much more comfortable.”

    Me: “No, thanks.”

    Employee: “I REALLY think you should get a full size car instead.”

    Me: “NO, thanks.”

    Employee: “But—”

    Me: “Let me ask you this: are you offering to upgrade us for free?”

    Employee: “Um, no. A full size will cost you $x more per day.”

    Me: “That’s what I thought. Please just give us the midsize that I requested.”

    Employee: “Fine.”

    (That explained why the lineup was so long and slow!)

    Needs To Keep Account Of The Books

    | USA | Employees, Money

    Solicitor: “Ma’am, I’m calling about a special deal we have for your book! You can have a sky banner on [Well-known Reading Website]. It will be right there, and people can get information on your book with no more than nine clicks! You will make 20% on each sale!”

    Me: “How many books would you expect me to sell that way, and what does the banner cost?”

    Solicitor: “You could sell up to 25 books a month, and the banner is only $524!”

    Me: “So for ‘only’ $524, I can make $48?”

    Solicitor: “But think of the exposure you’ll get! One of our authors just won the Cannes award for best movie after her book made the best-seller list! This is invaluable!”

    Me: “You do know that my book is a how-to book on RV-ing? I doubt that anyone will make a movie about it.”

    Could Have Saved Them Both Some Time

    | CA, USA | Employees, Money

    (This was back before I started doing most of my banking online and was in the bank regularly to take care of my account. While I understand the tellers have to ask me about a savings account, I got a little tired of how pushy they always got after I would tell them I wasn’t interested.)

    Teller: “I see you don’t have a savings account. Would you like to open one?”

    Me: “Do me a favor. Look at how much I owe on my credit card, then look at how much I have in my account.”

    Teller: “Okay?” *does as I ask, then looks visibly embarrassed*

    Me: “I’m not interested in a savings account.”

    Teller: “Okay, then, have a nice day!”

    Laundry Is Hung And Quartered

    | MI, USA | Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful, Money

    (I live in southern Michigan, which is not very far from Canada. I have opened a coin roll at the bank, as lately I have not been getting entirely American coinage.)

    Me: “Excuse me; three of these quarters are Canadian. I’d like you to switch them for American quarters, please.”

    Teller: “I don’t see why; they’re just the same.”

    Me: “Oh, well then. I’ve got a Canadian ten dollar bill, too. Can I get another roll of American quarters with it? If they’re just the same.”

    Teller: “No! Canadian currency isn’t worth as much as ours!”

    Me: “Exactly! Now that we’ve established that, please exchange these Canadian quarters you gave me for the American ones I paid for, as I asked you to do.”

    Teller: “I don’t see why it’s such a big deal. It’s hardly any difference.”

    Me: “In the first place, that’s not your call to make. In the second, vending machines won’t take Canadian coins. I can’t do my laundry on Canadian quarters.”

    Teller: *with gigantic put-upon sigh* “Oh, all right!”

    Me: “Yes, I know; how outrageous that I expect a bank to deliver legal tender of the country it’s actually in.”

    The Salon Doesn’t Make The Cut

    , | Seattle, WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Employees, Money

    (I’m helping with a fundraiser at the local mall. We have various stalls set up selling special items or offering special services, with all the profits going to charity. A woman that recently opened a hair salon arrives and asks to speak to one of the staff as she sets up.)

    Woman: “You know, I was thinking on the way over here. This is usually a day off for me, yet I’ve agreed to come in and work for you.”

    Me: “Yes, well, it’s for a good cause.”

    Woman: “Yeah, but I’m not going to see a single penny for today.”

    Me: “Again, that’s because it’s going to charity.”

    Woman: “I know but… well, I’m just going to come out and say it: I don’t think this is at all fair for me, so I want to ask for an amendment to be made.”

    Me: “And that is?”

    Woman: “Either I get 50% of the profits from today, or I walk.”

    (There is a moment of stunned silence. Slowly I look around at the other people, many of whom have likewise agreed to come and work on their days off without protest.)

    Me: “Well, I guess you walk, then.”

    Woman: “…What?!”

    Me: “If you don’t want to work for free, then you’re free to leave.”

    Woman: “Wha… but… I’ve got folks coming for me to do their hair today! They’ll be wondering where I am!”

    Me: “Then I’ll tell them what you said about demanding the right to take money from charity.”

    Woman: “WHAT?! But that’ll kill business for me!”

    Me: “Well, that’s on you. Everyone here agreed to the hours and the terms of this fundraiser, and none of them have expressed the selfish attitude I’m hearing from you.”

    Woman: “Okay, I’ll stay! I’ll stay!”

    (She frantically begins setting up, then goes to work without a peep. Thinking that’s that, I go back to helping with the other businesses who’re participating. A few hours later I’m approached by another lady.)

    Lady: “Hey, I don’t want to complain, but the woman from the hair salon over there? She’s been telling every customer she’s worked with how unfair it is that you’re not paying her for this charity event. It’s making several people rather uneasy.”

    Me: *sigh* “Hold on. I’ll get my manager.”

    (We contacted security and promptly have her removed from the mall. Surprisingly, she still managed to stay in business afterwards.)

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