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    Category: Musical Mayhem

    Jeopardizing Your Chances Of A Sale

    | New Orleans, LA, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Musical Mayhem

    (We keep getting calls from the same telemarketers. We asked them to stop, but they keep calling.)

    Dad: “Hello?”

    Voice Message: “Please hold for an important message!”

    (There is hold music, and then the telemarketer picks up.)

    Dad: “Please hold for an important message!”

    (He then started singing the entire ‘Jeopardy’ theme song.)

    Telemarketer: *click*

    Reluctant To Face The Music

    | AB, Canada | Coworkers, Musical Mayhem, Technology

    (I work in a radio station, where one of my jobs is adding new music to our database. When we add new music to the database, we give it an expiry date of 25 years in the future. One day, one of our announcers is watching me do this, and decides he has a problem with it.)

    Announcer: “I can’t believe you’re setting the music to expire in 25 years. You’re going to completely screw over this station in 25 years.”

    Me: “I don’t think so. I highly doubt we’ll be using these same computers in 25 years. When we upgrade computers, we’ll upgrade the database, and everything gets a new expiry date.”

    Announcer: “But what if we don’t upgrade our computers, huh? WHAT IF WE DON’T?”

    Me: “Well, a bunch of other things could happen. In 25 years, this music will probably be considered ‘oldies’ and get purged from our system. Or we could change formats, in which case we won’t be playing any of this music anymore. Worst case scenario, with the way media is changing, we’ll be out of business in 25 years.”

    Announcer: “You think we’ll be out of business in 25 years? Wow, aren’t you pessimistic?!”

    Me: “Actually, I think you’re the pessimistic one. You seem to think you’ll be working this same job in 25 years.”

    Announcer: “I won’t be working this job in 25 years! In 25 years I’ll be running [well-known radio network].”

    Me: “Exactly. So stop worrying about this.”

    This Call Will Make A Man Out Of You

    | UK | Coworkers, Movies & TV, Musical Mayhem

    (I am listening to Disney music with the same headphones the company uses to talk to clients.)

    Me: *singing softly* “You are a spineless, pale, pathetic lot, and you haven’t got a clueee…”

    Colleague: *shocked* “Please tell me you are not on the phone right now”

    Uncertain’s Final Curtain

    | Washington, DC, USA | Coworkers, Musical Mayhem

    (I work at a performing arts summer camp which is staffed mostly by college students. As such, we are mostly friends and keep in contact through the year. In March, Coworker #1 sends an email to the group.)

    Coworker #1: “Did [Director] tell anyone what the show is for this summer?”

    Coworker #2: “Last I heard, it was uncertain.”

    Coworker #3:Uncertain is a musical I just wrote about my plans after college.”

    There Is Life After Love(making)

    | Goa, India | Employees, Family & Kids, Language & Words, Musical Mayhem, Rude & Risque

    (It’s early afternoon, and loads of children are around with their families. A rap song starts, with REALLY clear lyrics about explicit and hardcore sex.)

    Me: “Are you serious? With children around?”

    DJ: *confusion*

    Me: “This song is about sex. F*****g! Serious f*****g! Naked people. Marriage stuff!”

    DJ: “Oh!”

    (He quickly puts on Cher!)


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