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    Category: Musical Mayhem

    Worst Possible Service

    | NY, USA | Employees, Musical Mayhem

    (I’m at a well known ticket booth in Times Square to buy Broadway tickets for me and a friend. My friend was particular about getting close seats.)

    Me: “I’d like two tickets to [Show]. Do I have any choice about the location of the seats?”

    Employee: “Well, the computer automatically gives ‘best available.’ But if you want, I can give you ‘worst available’

    Me: “…”

    I Like My Coworkers Better That Way…

    | Sandy Springs, GA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Musical Mayhem

    (I’m dropping off some papers to another coworker. As he goes through it, he notices one of the documents appears to be from another country.)

    Coworker #1: “What the…? What’s this from?”

    Me: “Hey, it’s from Turkey.”

    Coworker #1: “Yeah, you’re right. It’s from Istanbul.”

    Coworker #2: “You mean Constantinople?”

    Me: “No, it’s Istanbul, not Constantinople.”

    Coworker #2: “Been a long time gone Constantinople?”

    Coworker #1: “Yeah, it’s now a Turkish delight on a moonlit night.”

    Coworker #2: “Why did Constantinople get the works?”

    Me: *shrugs* “That’s nobody’s business but the Turks.” *walks off*

    (Sometimes, I love my coworkers.)

    A Real Hum-Dinger Of A Hymn

    | OH, USA | Employees, Musical Mayhem, Religion

    (My mother-in-law is in assisted-living apartments, and is very happy at Easter because they are going to have Easter church services at the facility.)

    Mother-In-Law: “They were putting together the program but had to redo it.”

    Me: “Why?”

    Mother-In-Law: “It seems they’d included a couple of hymns as part of the service and the know-it-all administrator had volunteered to type up the hymns from a hymnal.”

    Me: “Why was that a problem?”

    Mother-In-Law: “She didn’t understand that the verses are printed above the music and the same music is used for each of the four lines, so she just typed the words in the order they appeared, which totally scrambled the whole thing. I overheard the conversation…”

    (Below is the conversation, as described by my mother-in-law:)

    Know-it-all Administrator: “Well, I’m not a musician! Who on Earth could be expected to know this stuff?”

    Events Coordinator: “But [Administrator], you go to church every single week which is why you don’t work Sundays. Don’t they sing in your church?”

    Know-it-all Administrator: “Well, of course, they do, but I just hum along because I never could figure out the song book!”

    Music To My Fears

    | LA, USA | Coworkers, Liars/Scammers, Musical Mayhem

    (We have a little stereo in our store and are allowed to play music as long as it’s not too loud. I take my iPod and plug it to the stereo via auxiliary cable, as I prefer various genres of rock but the only radio station that comes in plays country and pop. After about a month of doing this, my manager comments on it one night.)

    Manager: *cringing* “Gosh, [My Name]! What on earth are you listening to?”

    Me: “That’s Marilyn Manson. Next song is Poison.”

    Manager: “Well, you need to turn it down and [Manager’s Boss] says that we have to keep it on a station like [Only Station that will tune in] because people might complain.”

    Me: “Oh? I haven’t had anyone complain so far and even though it’s not that loud I always turn it down when someone comes in.”

    Manager: “Yes, [Manager’s Boss] said so.”

    Me: “Right. I’ll remember that.”

    Manager: “Good.”

    (What my manager doesn’t know is that her boss had come in on my shift before and commented on how nice it was to hear a change in music and that he liked the playlist on my iPod. We also discussed music and he said he’d like to get his hands on my iTunes.)

    Musically Arrested

    | Whitehorse, YK, Canada | Criminal/Illegal, Musical Mayhem

    (I am working the door at a karaoke bar, which is perfect for me because I love to break out into song at random times. Because we have a couple unruly patrons, the cops are called. When the officers arrive, I am outside on a smoke break and decide to have a little fun at them.)

    Me: *singing* “I shot the sheriff, but I didn’t shoot the deputy…”

    Police Officer: *without missing a beat, sings right back at me* “I fought the law, but the law won. I fought the law, but the law won!”


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