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    Category: Musical Mayhem

    Music To My Fears

    | LA, USA | Coworkers, Liars/Scammers, Musical Mayhem

    (We have a little stereo in our store and are allowed to play music as long as it’s not too loud. I take my iPod and plug it to the stereo via auxiliary cable, as I prefer various genres of rock but the only radio station that comes in plays country and pop. After about a month of doing this, my manager comments on it one night.)

    Manager: *cringing* “Gosh, [My Name]! What on earth are you listening to?”

    Me: “That’s Marilyn Manson. Next song is Poison.”

    Manager: “Well, you need to turn it down and [Manager’s Boss] says that we have to keep it on a station like [Only Station that will tune in] because people might complain.”

    Me: “Oh? I haven’t had anyone complain so far and even though it’s not that loud I always turn it down when someone comes in.”

    Manager: “Yes, [Manager’s Boss] said so.”

    Me: “Right. I’ll remember that.”

    Manager: “Good.”

    (What my manager doesn’t know is that her boss had come in on my shift before and commented on how nice it was to hear a change in music and that he liked the playlist on my iPod. We also discussed music and he said he’d like to get his hands on my iTunes.)

    Musically Arrested

    | Whitehorse, YK, Canada | Criminal/Illegal, Musical Mayhem

    (I am working the door at a karaoke bar, which is perfect for me because I love to break out into song at random times. Because we have a couple unruly patrons, the cops are called. When the officers arrive, I am outside on a smoke break and decide to have a little fun at them.)

    Me: *singing* “I shot the sheriff, but I didn’t shoot the deputy…”

    Police Officer: *without missing a beat, sings right back at me* “I fought the law, but the law won. I fought the law, but the law won!”

    Won’t Be A Jersey Boy Anymore

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Coworkers, Musical Mayhem

    (Our theater picked up Jersey Boys, a musical about the band, the Four Seasons. Consequently, some of the music would sometimes get stuck in our heads.)

    Coworker: *singing* “Sheeeery, Sherry baby, baaaaaby…”

    Me: “If you don’t stop, I will castrate you so that you actually sound like that!”

    This Is Not One Of The Better Times

    | Galveston, TX, USA | Food & Drink, Musical Mayhem

    (We’re at one of our favorite bars, chatting with the bartender. My husband has a very dry sense of humor.)

    Husband: “Okay, [Bartender], I think we’re ready to close out.”

    Bartender: “You’re sure? Would you like a whiskey drink?”

    Husband: “No.”

    Bartender: “A vodka drink?”

    Husband: “No.”

    Bartender: “A lager drink?”

    Husband: “No.”

    Bartender: “A cider drink?”

    Husband: *deadpan* “[Bartender], I will jump over this bar…”

    Bartender: “That’s from Chumbawamba.”

    Husband: “I know.”

    Bartender: *as we’re leaving* “I sing songs that remind me of the good times.”

    Don’t Lose Your Head(phones) Over It

    | Croatia | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Musical Mayhem, Theme Of The Month

    (I am a programmer, but I work on the floor with finance people. Since there’s a lot of noise in the office I work with my headphones on to drown out the noise since I don’t do anything connected with them. We’re currently in a staff meeting.)

    Boss: “So, that takes care of it. Does anyone have any suggestions or complaints?”

    New Coworker: “YES! I wish [My Name] to stop wearing headphones!”

    Boss: “Why? He asked to use them so he can concentrate better on what he does.”

    New Coworker: “It’s anti-social and I can’t communicate with him if I need him for something! It’s ruining the workflow!”

    Me: “Well, if you have anything to ask you could, you know, walk up to me and tap me on the shoulder? And even then, it can’t be work related since we don’t work on anything together.”

    New Coworker: “Well, I can hear his music and it’s bothering me!”

    Coworker #1: “No, you can’t. I’m sitting next to him and I can’t hear anything.”

    Boss: “Unless it’s bothering the whole office, I don’t intend to force the only programmer in the company to listen to all of you yelling to each other. If that’s it, we’re done.”

    (Next day when I came to work I realise I forgot my thumb drive on which I keep my music. I still keep my headphones on, since they provide some noise isolation, but I’m not listening to music. Boss is passing by New Coworker’s desk when the latter practically jumps at him.)

    New Coworker: “LISTEN! Can’t you hear that music of his! I can’t even concentrate on job I’m doing!”

    Me: “You might want to visit a shrink, Miss [New Coworker].”

    New Coworker: “NOW HE’S EVEN INSULTING ME!”

    Me: “I’m not.” *I unplug the headphones from speakers on my table* “I’m not listening to music, because I forgot the drive with my music at home. If you think you’re hearing music, I would really recommend you to visit a professional.”

    Boss: “[New Coworker], stop being disruptive and leave [My Name] alone. He’s not bothering you.”

    New Coworker: “IF HE DOESN’T HAVE HIS DRIVE HE IS JUST LISTENING TO MUSIC ONLINE!”

    Boss: “[New Coworker] -”

    New Coworker: “YES! HE’S EVEN WASTING COMPANY INTERNET AND KEEPING ME FROM WORKING! YOU MUST STOP HIM!”

    Coworker #1: “He’s not listening to music online, you idiot!”

    New Coworker: “OH, REALLY?!”

    Boss: “Yes, really, because the Internet has been down for two hours. Which also means he can’t be disrupting you since all of your work is done online. Now, why don’t you step into my office for a nice conversation about the way we should act in a workplace, okay?”

    (New Coworker never bothered me about listening to music after that.)


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