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  • Not So Closely Guarded
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  • Category: Musical Mayhem

    It’s The Music That We Choose

    | Iceland | Employees, Musical Mayhem

    (For days, I have been getting calls from telemarketers. No matter how many times I say that I’m not interested, they keep calling. Even my mother can’t stop them. So, I get an idea. Whenever they call, I will mess with them by playing YouTube videos. Call one:)

    Telemarketer: “Hello. Would you like to purch—”

    (I then begin playing the Peanut Butter Jelly Time song.)

    Telemarketer: “Um… hello?”

    (The video keeps going, so the telemarketer hangs up. Call two:)

    Telemarketer: “Hello. Wou—”

    (I then start the music video ‘Bird is The Word,’ sung by Peter Griffin. Once again, they hang up. Call three:)

    Telemarketer: “Hello. Would you—”

    (I then play the music video ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ by Rick Astley. I could hear them swear as they hang up. Call four:)

    Telemarketer: “Hello. Wo—”

    (Getting tired of this, I released the big one and used the screamer sound effect in the Scary Maze Game. After the scream finished, I held the phone to my ear and began talking to them.)

    Me: “Can you still hear me?”

    Telemarketer: “Y… yes…”

    Me: “I’m tired of your crap. From now on, whenever you call me, this will be the sound you first hear. I will say this for the last time! I am NOT interested in anything you have to offer! Good bye.”

    (They stopped calling after that.)

    Not So Pretty In Pink

    | USA | Bosses & Owners, Musical Mayhem, Rude & Risque

    (One thing I like about my job is that the office music plays hits from the radiotherapy peps me up, instead of dreary boring elevator type music that puts me to sleep. It usually isn’t very risqué, until the day my boss is helping a customer with something, right underneath a speaker. Pink’s ‘U and Ur Hand Tonight’ comes on.)

    Boss: “So, what we have here is…”

    Pink: *on radio* “It’s just you and your hand tonight! Uh uh oh oh oh…”

    Boss: “What is this music?! [My Name], go in the back and change it, now!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am…”

    (Since then, we had old dreary boring music on and my boss refuses to change it to anything else. Thanks a lot, Pink!)

    They Heard You Loud And Clear

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Lazy/Unhelpful, Musical Mayhem

    (There’s a fashion shop near where I work that blasts their music so loud that we get complaints from customers about the noise in our shop. I can only stand being in the actual shop for a few moments, so never shop in there. One day I go in and grab one of their feedback forms. I start filling it in and get to the complaints area asking if there is anything that I don’t like about the store. That’s when I notice they’ve added:)

    Complaints Form: “‘Music is too loud,’ is not an acceptable complaint.”

    Queens Of The Wrong Age

    | USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Musical Mayhem

    (It’s the end of the day and I have ‘Get Lucky’ by Daft Punk playing on my MP3 player loud enough to be heard by my coworker.)

    Coworker: *gets all excited hearing the music* “I love Queen!”

    Me: *face-palm*

    This Job Is Just Impossible

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Movies & TV, Musical Mayhem

    (At this store we wear headsets to communicate with each other since it is a big store. This conversation takes place over the headsets as Coworker #1 is following around a suspected shoplifter to make sure they don’t take anything.)

    Coworker #1: “I feel like I’m in Mission Impossible, being all sneaky like this.”

    Coworker #2: *starts humming ‘Mission Impossible’ theme song*

    Coworker #3: “Now you just need to do a duck and roll behind a rack.”

    Manager: “I will give someone $20 if they do a duck and roll on the sales floor right now.”

    (I was back in the fitting rooms getting some very strange looks from customers as I burst out laughing for no apparent reason.)

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