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  • Will Never Claim Ignorance
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  • Category: Themed Giveaway

    Can’t Get Pasteurized Past Her Eyes

    | Jerusalem, Israel | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Themed Giveaway

    (My wife is a big fan of specialty cheeses, and she likes when I surprise her with new ones she’s never tried before. She’s currently pregnant, so I need to be careful not to buy her unpasteurized cheese.)

    Me: *pointing to a random cheese I’ve never heard of* “Is that cheese pasteurized?”

    Deli Worker: “It’s goat cheese.”

    Me: “Yes, but is it pasteurized?”

    Deli Worker: “It’s goat cheese.”

    Me: “I know it’s goat cheese. I’m asking if it’s pasteurized or not.”

    Deli Worker: *stares blankly*

    Me: “Some cheeses are pasteurized, others aren’t. I need to know if that one is or not.”

    Deli Worker: “I don’t know what ‘pasteurized’ is. It’s goat cheese.”

    (I give up and just buy some brie, because unlike most of the cheeses in the display I could read its ingredient label through the glass. How somebody who’s been selling cheeses for years doesn’t know what pasteurization means, I have no idea!)

    The Drugs Don’t Work, They Just Make It Worse

    | Keego Harbor, MI, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Themed Giveaway

    (I’ve been having tremendous pain in my ankle for a year. I’ve been seeing an orthopedic surgeon for this entire span of time. He initially misdiagnoses the problem as a sprained ankle. After six months of excruciating pain, he sends me for X-Rays, which show a six-month old fracture. Three months later, the pain is just getting worse and worse, so he recommends I have an MRI done. I get the MRI and return to his office with the report, showing multiple effusions, a torn tendon, and a second tendon that is possibly torn. The swelling is so prominent, that the second tendon isn’t visible from any angle. I go see my orthopedic surgeon again.)

    Me: “So, here’s the report showing at least one torn tendon.”

    Orthopedic Surgeon: “Yeah. What do you expect me to do about it?”

    Me: “Well, after seeing you for a year, ANYTHING! Do ANYTHING!”

    Orthopedic Surgeon: “Well, you should go see somebody who specializes in ankles.”

    Me: “You’re an orthopedic surgeon. You can’t treat this?”

    Orthopedic Surgeon: “Nope.”

    Me: “Can you recommend somebody?”

    Orthopedic Surgeon: “Oh, I’m sure you can find somebody online.”

    Me: “Or I can ask a trained professional who went through medical school and works in the field to recommend somebody who he has heard good things about.”

    Orthopedic Surgeon: “I don’t know anybody.”

    Me: “Fine. Do something. Do anything. Give me restrictions from work. Give me painkillers. Do anything.”

    Orthopedic Surgeon: “Well, whoever you see after can recommend that.”

    Me: “A year. I’ve been seeing you for a year. Your misdiagnosis led to serious damage. You’ve wasted a year of my life. You’ve kept me in excruciating pain for A YEAR. You are going to do SOMETHING today. NOW.”

    Orthopedic Surgeon: “Fine. I’ll write you a script for Vicodin.”

    Me: “No. I’ve told you before, Vicodin does nothing for me. If I have to resort to narcotics, I’d rather not take those that are useless for me. I’d really rather have Tramadol. *an anti-inflammatory painkiller that is non-narcotic*

    Orthopedic Surgeon: “Okay.” *wanders away, returns about five minutes later with a prescription* Here. T”his is for nine days worth of Norco.”

    Me: “I’m not familiar with that medication. Tell me about it. It’s not in the same family as Vicodin, is it?”

    Orthopedic Surgeon: “No, no. Not at all. It’s more like codeine.”

    Me: “I can’t have Tramadol?”

    Orthopedic Surgeon: “No, this will be more helpful.”

    (I leave, still angry and go to the pharmacy to fill the prescription. And yes, folks, Norco is essentially Vicodin. I scheduled an appointment with a new orthopedic surgeon who immediately scheduled me for surgery and wrote me a prescription for Tramadol.)

    Upsell Upset

    | UK | At The Checkout, Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Themed Giveaway

    (I’m a regular at a local store which has various items on offer by the side of the register, which the cashier is required to try to ‘upsell’ to the customers. While in line, I notice one of the items is actually something I use, and is a good deal, so I add it to my basket. I’m only buying four items in total.)

    Cashier: *after ringing up my items* “Did you find everything okay?”

    Me: “Yes, thanks.”

    Cashier: “Can I interest you in [item]?”

    Me: *grinning* “Really?”

    Cashier: “Yes, they’re on offer today, only [price].”

    Me: “That sounds good.”

    Cashier: “Would you like one?”

    Me: “You mean in addition to the one I just bought?”

    Cashier: “Uh… your total is [total], thanks…”

    Unable To Geolocate The Best Solution

    | Dayton, OH, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Money, Themed Giveaway

    (I am calling my cellular provider’s call center, because I was charged on my account after I cancelled it due to being in Ireland for an extended period of time.)

    Call Center: “We sent you some mobile notifications on these dates, telling you that your vacation hold was ending.”

    Me: “You sent mobile notifications to my CDMA phone when Europe only has GSM, and you’re wondering why I didn’t get them? CDMA doesn’t work in Europe which is why I put my account on hold.”

    Call Center: “Well, I’m sorry about that, sir, but it’s our policy to send a mobile notification.”

    Me: “You could have just as easily sent me an email to let me know that my phone that didn’t have service would soon be getting service.”

    Call Center: “I’m sorry, sir, but that’s how our system is set up.”

    Me: “Well your system sure as s*** seems to be able to send me email when I have a new bill that is due. Okay, well, seeing as my account has been cancelled and I can’t log in to the website to pay my bill by phone number since it says it doesn’t exist, how would you recommend I pay my bill?”

    Call Center: “Well, you can walk in and pay your bill in the nearest [Cellular Company] store.”

    Me: “Sure, I’ll go ahead and do that! Can you please tell me where the closest one is to Dublin, Ireland? I’ll happily walk in and pay my bill.”

    Call Center: “We don’t have information on that since we don’t have service over there.”

    Me: “So why would you even recommend that option to me?”

    Call Center: “Well, the next time you are in the States, you can do that.”

    Me: “Okay. Next time I make it over to the States, I will pay my bill. Thank you for giving me that permission to not pay until that time.” *hangs up*

    Death Of A Sales Pitch, Part 2

    | Peoria, IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Math & Science, Money, Themed Giveaway

    (I’m in the process of buying a car. I’ve brought my dad with me to help. The sales manager has spent 30 minutes attempting to tack on paint and interior warranty, which I don’t want. I’m a girl in my early 20s.)

    Sales Manager: “Okay, so let’s try it this way. Instead of 72 months, how about 63 months? Your payment will only be $10 more than the 60 months with no warranty.”

    Me: “Okay, let me run a couple calculations to see how much more this will cost me over the life of the loan.”

    Sales Manager: *patronizingly* “If you’re going to multiply $10 by 63, that’s incorrect—”

    Me: “Actually, that’s not what I was going to do. And I don’t want the paint and seat warranty. Do you think I’m stupid? I have a cum laude business degree. It’s going to cost me a heck of a lot more over the life of the loan for this warranty, which I don’t even need!”

    Sales Manager: *pulls out a binder and plops it in front of me* “Here are all the people who said they didn’t need the warranty but then reconsidered. Take a look at this and how much they saved in repair costs!”

    (I glance at the binder long enough to see that the savings were minimal; in fact, one person spent more on warranty than they did on car repairs. I push the binder back to him.)

    Sales Manager: “You still don’t want it?”

    Me: “Look, I understand that you get commission when you sell this stuff, but I don’t want it. It’s going to cost me more in interest. I want to go with the original 60-month payment. No extended warranty.”

    Sales Manager: “I don’t get commission.”

    Me: “Really? Because you’re pretty insistent in pushing this on me.”

    Sales Manager: *testily* “I believe in the product.”

    Me: “I see. I’m still not interested, thanks.”

    Sales Manager: *glances at my file* “I see you work for [local bank]. What, exactly, do you do there?”

    Me: “I’m a personal banker.”

    Sales Manager: *defeated* “Oh… well, that’s interesting.”

    (I glance over at my dad, who is trying not to laugh. The sales manager quickly finished up my paperwork. Later, my dad posted a picture with me and my new car on his Facebook account, bragging about how I’d ‘smacked down the sales manager.’)

    Death Of A Sales Pitch

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