My partner and I go to a local discount store to pick up some stuff for the house. I use a wheelchair, and thus, I have a disabled parking placard. We pull into the parking lot and realize that a HUGE [Soda Company] semi truck is taking up every single accessible spot. My partner and I look at each other.

Me: “What the f***?!”

We park in a regular spot, and my partner goes in alone to talk to the manager.

Partner: “Hey, your [Soda Company] guy is taking up all the disabled spots. My boyfriend and I need one of those spots.”

Manager: “He’s almost done. Can’t you just use a normal spot?”

Partner: *Pauses* “He has a placard for a reason. And parking in one of those spots without one is illegal, much less all five.”

Manager: “Well, I’ll ask him to hurry.”

Partner: “You know what? I think we’ll try somewhere else.”

He came back out and relayed the conversation that happened inside. We took some pictures of the truck, the license plate, and good angles of it blocking literally every last accessible parking spot. We ended up reporting them to the company — and the manager, who didn’t seem to understand why we were complaining. Last I heard, the driver got reprimanded.

The electronics store where I work has one particular worker who seems like a bit of a contradiction. He’s EXCELLENT at solving problems that other workers are having, but he makes some VERY dumb decisions.

As an example, our video games section has empty cases on the shelf. You bring a case to the front counter, and they ring you out with an unopened case that has a game in it taken from a storage locker of sorts. [Worker] single-handedly keeps the locker sorted so that the most popular games are in the most convenient place for a worker to grab them. And yet, if he happens to be the one who sells a customer the last copy of a certain game that is in the locker, he’ll grab a giant stack of games from the back room, refill the locker, return the remaining games to the back room, and then resume checking out the customer.

One day, I overheard two of my coworkers talking about him.

Coworker #1: “I don’t get [Worker]. How can someone be so smart and so stupid at the same time?”

Coworker #2: “Well, you have to remember that ‘stupid’ can mean both ‘lack of intelligence’ and ‘lack of wisdom’.”

Coworker #1: “What’s the difference?”

Coworker #2: “Intelligence is being able to pop the hood of a car, look at the engine running, and tell what’s wrong with it. Wisdom is knowing better than to pop the hood of a car and look at the engine running while it’s in motion. [Worker] has the first one; he doesn’t have the second one.”

Ever since, whenever I run into a stupid customer, I keep this conversation in my mind.

Back about twenty years ago, a vegetarian friend was on a bus tour of Russia. At one point, the whole group had a banquet. All the other tables had food piled up. The vegetarians were at a table together, and in the middle was a large pot of soup. One member of the party dipped the ladle into the soup, and it came out with a whole chicken!

They complained to the waiter, explaining that they don’t eat flesh, so the waiter removed the chicken from the pot and walked away.

End of story, they did not eat that night. Hopefully, they had snacks back in their hotel rooms!

I recently had my purse stolen, which necessitated getting a new copy of my driver’s license. After a three-hour wait at the DMV (seriously), I finally got to the employee at the counter. He was helpful until it came time for me to pay. All I had was a hundred-dollar bill — no credit cards because of the stolen purse — and my total was $30.

Me: “Can you make change for a hundred?”

Employee: “Sure, I think so. Let’s see.”

He opened his drawer, took out a fifty-dollar bill, and eyed the scant few bills he had left.

Employee: “Err, one sec.” *Turning to the employee next to him* “Hey, do you have change for a fifty?”

She gave him two twenties and a ten, and he handed her the fifty. Then turned back to me.

Employee: “Okay, so, the twenty plus the…”

He stared at where the fifty had been — the one he had just handed to his coworker — and then at the bills in his hand. Then, he let out a huge sigh. I could SEE the defeat in his eyes.

Employee: “Sorry, it’s been a long day. I’ll take your hundred-dollar bill and go get change from the manager’s office, okay? I’ll be right back.”

He did eventually give me the correct change, but it was nice to know I wasn’t the only one dead inside after spending too long at the DMV!

This is back in the days when to get Internet at home, you had to get a landline installed. This meant I had a phone that only rang when my parents called or it was a telemarketer, most of whom left me alone when I told them I was renting. Except for this one guy. He was persistent. I could get up to three calls a day from him on my days off.

I was also going through a terrible time. I was divorcing my ex thanks to an affair, I’d been made redundant from the job I adored, and the replacement position they’d found me because “we don’t want to lose you” was doing none of the work I enjoyed while being surrounded by the nastiest clique of overgrown Mean Girls I’ve ever had the misfortune to meet.

But the straw that broke the camel’s back was when I got home from a day of work, which I’d done on very little sleep because my sister, brother-in-law, and six-week-old nephew had been T-boned by a drunk driver the night before. (They were all fine — the worst injuries were whiplash to my sister and horrific bruising to my brother-in-law — but I didn’t know that at the time.)

I heard the phone ringing as I was heading up to my door, so I raced inside, thinking it might be my parents with an update.

Telemarketer: “Hello! This is [Telemarketer] from [Company]. Is this [My Name]?”

I just broke and burst into tears.

Telemarketer: “Hello?”

Me: *Still sobbing* “I’m sorry, did you not hear? She was hit by a drunk driver last night.”

Telemarketer: *Click*

I never heard from him or his company again. And my sister thought it was hilarious when I told her.