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    A Total Air-Head

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid

    (I am checking out, and my cashier puts my kale on the scanner and proceeds to smash the air out of the bag with her hand.)

    Me: “Why are you—”

    Cashier: “Well, you don’t want to pay more than you have to!”

    In Need Of Appointing A New Coworker

    | CA, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Top

    (I work at a healthcare call center that does appointments for doctors. One of my coworkers is notorious, as the patients she deals with tend to have a lot of scheduling errors. She always insists that the patient or doctor screwed up. I have been recently promoted to a supervisor. One of my jobs is listening to a recording of one of her calls that got flagged.)

    Coworker: “Hello, ma’am. What can I do for you?”

    Patient: “I remember you. I called you yesterday to cancel a hip surgery that I never scheduled with Dr [Name].”

    Coworker: “Well, that can’t be. I see your appointment right here. Are you sure you didn’t leave a message at the doctor’s office by mistake?”

    Patient: *annoyed* “NO. I spoke to YOU directly. You swore that you would fix the doctor’s mistake. In fact, it was the third time I called to cancel the appointment and you were the one I talked to all three times. Now, can you please transfer me to someone who can fix this?”

    Coworker: *very nasty* “Listen up, you old bat. Just admit you had a bout of dementia and called the wrong place. I’m not going to sit here and listen to a bunch of stupid accusations.”

    (My coworker hangs up, which we’re specifically instructed not to do unless the patient is belligerent and incredibly rude. Curious, I call the patient and she is able to provide me the dates and hours she called previously. I am able to find recordings of the previous calls. They all have my coworker promising the patient that everything would be taken care of and she had nothing to worry about since it was the doctor’s mistake. Luckily, part of my promotion meant I could report her directly to management. She was fired within a week when it was discovered this was hardly the first case!)

    Out Of Control On Animal Control

    , | Newark, NJ, USA | Bosses & Owners, Employees, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    (I’m waiting to order when I hear a scream from a few tables over.)

    Customer: “Aaah! Rat! No… raccoon!”

    (Sure enough, there’s a small but well-fed raccoon sitting calmly on an empty table and eating crumbs.)

    Customer: “Careful! It could be rabid!”

    (A waiter and waitress come over, not looking overly concerned.)

    Waiter: “Naw, that’s Jerry. He’s usually out back getting into the dumpster, but he’s friendly.”

    (The waiter flaps his hands at the raccoon.)

    Waiter: “Hey, Jerry, f*** off! You live outside!”

    Waitress: “He ain’t leaving. Want me to call animal control?”

    Waiter: “Yeah, better call. I don’t want to get bit. I think we have the number written down.”

    Waitress: “Don’t worry! I got it on speed dial!”

    Owner: *shouting from the kitchen* “What did I say about saying that near customers?!”

    Top Secret, Bottom Service

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Employees, Food & Drink

    (I’m a limousine driver. I pick up an assignment, who turns out to be the CEO of a major fast food chain. His destination is the airport, but he requests to stop at a couple local stores to do some secret shopping on the way out.)

    Passenger: “Do you know where the nearest [Store Name] is?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. Would you like me to take you there?”

    Passenger: “Yes, please.”

    (I take him to the store, which has a reputation of extremely poor service. He gets out of the car and I wait. Ten minutes later, I know what’s up. Fifteen minutes later, he comes out with his order and gets back in the car.)

    Passenger: “That had to be the worst service I have gotten from any of the restaurants I’ve been in.”

    (I keep my schadenfreude in check; the head honcho got the same lousy service that the locals have been getting for years. As we depart for the airport, he proceeds to open his bag.)

    Passenger: “They forgot my chips!”

    Taking A Holiday From Reason, Part 2

    | Poughkeepsie, NY, USA | Employees, Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month

    (It is approaching the holidays. My mom is buying a gift for someone. We are Jewish.)

    Cashier: “Would you like a gift receipt?”

    Mom: “Yes, please.”

    Cashier: “Is this a Christmas Present?”

    Mom: “No. It’s for Chanukah.”

    Cashier: “You’re Jewish?”

    Mom: “Yes.”

    Cashier: *shocked* “Really?”

    Mom: “Yes.”

    Cashier: “So you don’t celebrate Thanksgiving?”

    Related:
    From NotAlwaysRight
    Taking A Holiday From Reason


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