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  • Swearing You Into A Job
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  • Go Truck Yourself

    | Portland, OR, USA | Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful, Transportation

    Me: “Hello, I’d like to reserve a 10′ truck for Thursday.”

    Employee: “Oh, you want to reserve a truck? On the phone?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, that would be great. What information do you need from me?”

    Employee: *annoyed* “You know, you can just reserve a truck online.”

    Me:  ”Oh, okay. Since I have you on the phone, can we just take care of it right now?”

    Employee:  ”Uh, well, then I’d have to take down ALL of your information. I’m kinda busy, so…”

    Me: “…So?”

    Employee: “So, please visit our website and reserve the truck there. I don’t have time to help you.” *hangs up*

    Out Of State, Out Of Mind, Part 3

    | Ohio, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful, Top

    (I am a 25-year-old male visiting a college town in Ohio. Whilst there, I decide to pick up some alcohol for myself and my girlfriend.)

    Cashier: “Did you find everything okay today, sir?”

    Me: “Yes I did.”

    Cashier: “I’m going to have to see some ID for these purchases.”

    Me: “No problem.”

    (I hand over my UK passport.)

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, this isn’t acceptable ID.”

    Me: “What do you mean?”

    Cashier: “We only accept government-issued ID.”

    Me: “It’s a valid passport issued by the government.”

    Cashier: “Sorry, I can’t accept this. Do you have any other ID’s? Ohio State driver’s license?”

    Me: “No, I’m on vacation here. I don’t have a state ID.”

    Cashier: “Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t sell you the alcohol without a government-issued ID.”

    Me: “But it IS government-issued!”

    Cashier: “Sorry, sir.”

    Me: “Can you call a manager please?”

    Cashier: “Certainly…”

    (I wait about ten minutes for the manager to appear.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the trouble here?”

    Cashier: “He’s trying to buy alcohol without ID.”

    Me: “Excuse me, but I DO have ID.”

    (I show the manager my passport.)

    Cashier: “But it’s not government-issued.”

    Me: “It IS government-issued.”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, but we can’t accept this as a valid form of ID.”

    Me: “Wait, just so I’m clear on this; my passport, which allows me to travel freely across the world, issued by the UK government, won’t allow me to purchase alcohol in the state of Ohio?”

    Manager: “Well… not in this store, anyway.”

    Me: “You do realise this is a college town and a vast percentage of the students are foreign. Therefore, they don’t have Ohio driver’s licenses?”

    Manager: “Yes, but you can’t buy alcohol with this document.”

    Me: “Forget it! I’ll go to the liquor store up the road.”

    (I ended up going to the liquor store up the road, where they served me without a problem.)

    Out Of State, Out Of Mind, Part 2
    Out Of State, Out Of Mind

    Dying To Insure You

    | CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees

    Caller: “Hi, this is John from [insurance company]. I would like inform you of our current insurance rate and advantages.”

    Me: “That’s alright; I don’t need insurance at the moment, but thank you.”

    Caller: “But, if you would just let me tell you about the benefits we provide and low rates we are offering today…”

    Me: “No, thank you.”

    Caller: “Well, I hope you don’t die!” *hangs up*

    You Working It Is Makes Others’ Work Worth It

    | Nashville, TN, USA | Awesome Workers, Employees, Money, Top

    (A couple of years ago I was busking, or performing on the streets, of Nashville. At the time I had just been laid off, so busking was my only source of income until I found another job. One Friday evening in winter, I am bundled up and doing my best to keep playing and singing, but due to the cold weather I’ve barely made $15 after four hours. I am almost ready to call it a night when an SUV rolls up next to me and double parks. A man in a business suit jumps out and runs up to me.)

    Business Suit Man: “Here, this is for you.”

    (He holds his hand out, and I see a fat roll of money. I take it from him with shivering hands and look: it’s almost $500.)

    Me: “Oh my God. No, it’s too much!”

    (The man shakes his head and presses the money back into my hand.)

    Business Suit Man: “Nope, it’s yours. Me and my friends work in the building across the street and we’ve been listening to you for the last few hours. The music made our Friday go by faster and you were doing it out here in this cold, so we decided we wanted to take up a collection in the office and make your night.”

    (I keep shaking my head no and start sobbing, but the man steadfastly refuses to take the money back. Car horns start honking at the double-parked car, so he runs back to the passenger side and climbs in. As he does so, he shouts back to me.)

    Business Suit Man: “Buy yourself something warm to eat and get out of this cold!”

    (And before I know it, he and the car are gone. It didn’t strike me until after the car pulled away that I never said thank you. I was too much in shock to get a good look at him, so I’m not sure if I ever saw him again, but wherever you are Business Suit Man, thank you. You most definitely made my night.)


    | Fort Collins, CO, USA | Employees, Geography

    (I have just moved to Colorado from Massachusetts and am buying a book at a national chain. My rewards card is therefore still under my Massachusetts address.)

    Clerk: “Could I have your zip code?”

    Me: “01463.”

    Clerk: “No. Your ZIP CODE. As in 8-0-something-something-something.”

    Me: “01463″

    Clerk: “That isn’t a Colorado zip code!”

    Me: “Correct, it’s a Massachusetts zip code. It’s my home zip code and it’s the zip code I have my rewards card under, seeing as I just moved to Colorado this week.”

    Clerk: “Fine! But it won’t work!”

    Me: “Just try it!”

    (It worked.)

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