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    Made A Good Call

    | NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Coworkers

    (I have been on the phone for about 45 minutes with a customer that is very upset.)

    Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, that the store did not check to make sure [Product] would work in your area. I can look into it and see why not.”

    Customer: “You know that it was [Store] that sold it to me. Is there any way you can contact them?

    Me: “Ma’am, I can give them a call and if you wish I can call you back afterwards.”

    Customer: “That would be great. Talk to you in a few minutes.” *click*

    (I am about to call the other store when my coworker, who has been listening in, interjects:)

    Coworker: “You’re not allowed to call the stores, you know.”

    Me: “What? I have done it before.”

    Coworker: “Nope, it’s not allowed.”

    Me: “Well, I guess I’m in trouble then; I have done it every time a customer says something happened at a store.” *picks up phone to make call*

    Coworker: “If you call I’m going to report you to the manager.”

    Me: “Go for it.”

    (I then call the store and inquire why they did not check to make sure the product did not work. It seems it was a trainee that had filled the order and failed to see that they needed to make sure there was even coverage before completing the order. I hang up just as my coworker and manager come over.)

    Coworker: “Go ahead and tell [Manager] what you told the customer.”

    Me: “That I would be giving her a call back after I called the store to find out why they sold her a product without checking the coverage.”

    Manager: “Have you called the store?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Manager: “Good. After you call the customer back take an extra 15-minute break.”

    (She then walked back to her desk. After work she said I was one of the most dedicated employees she had. Made my day.)

    New Phrasing


    He Who Shall Not Be Planed

    | Canada | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Tourists & Travel, Transportation

    (I am working at the security checkpoint for staff to enter the baggage hold area. It’s right by one of the baggage claim carousels. Nearby is a large group of kids wearing identifier vests for a local charity camp. We tell them to wait right by us while they wait for their luggage to arrive. One curious kid can’t resist the opportunity to ask a few questions. My male coworker didn’t how to answer the little guy so it was up to the geek girl to answer everything.)

    Kid: “Hey, what do you do?”

    Me: “We protect the planes and baggage from bad guys.”

    Kid: “Cool! Do you know Batman?”

    Me: “Not personally. He lives in Gotham city. That’s a long way from here.”

    Kid: *lists off a couple other superheroes and villains, and I correctly identify their locations* “So, how do you stop bad guys from getting in?”

    Me: “By being bigger and meaner than those coming in.”

    Kid: “But what if they drink a potion to become bigger?”

    Me: “They would get their head stuck in the ceiling here.”

    (I’m six foot and I can easily touch the low hanging ceiling.)

    Kid: “But what if Voldemort returns?”

    Me: “He would be in England so we would be pretty safe here.”

    Kid: “You can’t know that! You must be prepared for anything!”

    (That gets a chuckle from me and he turns to a friend, apparently done questioning me.)

    Kid: “They don’t know Batman!”

    Won’t Open The Door For A Soul

    | BC, Canada | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Coworkers

    (At the end of every graveyard shift, one of the last jobs that I do is cleaning the doors that exit on to our lobby. This morning is a quiet one and there are no customers about and a few staff. I finish cleaning one side of the doors and step away before walking forward to trigger the automatic sensor so the doors will open. They don’t.)

    Me: *muttering to myself* “I guess I don’t have a soul.”

    Assistant Manager: *from behind me* “What did you just say?”

    Me: “I don’t have a soul. That automatic door didn’t open for me.”

    Assistant Manager: “Okay…”

    (I guess he’d never watched ‘The Simpsons’!)

    Intelligence Has Departed

    | Changi, Singapore | Employees, Extra Stupid, Tourists & Travel

    (I was born in Singapore but grew up in Australia and became a citizen. I fly to Singapore for a holiday and I am getting my passport checked out. In Australia, you don’t require a departure stamp in your Australian passport; instead, it has a chip that gets scanned. I did not know this at the time.)

    Me: *walks up to the booth* “Hello.”

    Clerk #1: *says nothing and starts looking through my passport* “Where is your stamp?”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Clerk #1: “Were you born here?”

    Me: “Yes, but I—”

    Clerk #1: “Then where is the departure stamp? You’re supposed to have a departure stamp”

    Me: “… I don’t know?”

    Clerk #1: “You’re Asian right? Why don’t you have a departure stamp in your passport?”

    Me: “What does that have anything to do—”

    Clerk #1: “Why is there no stamp?”

    (At this point, another clerk walks over, looks at my passport and notices the problem.)

    Clerk #2: “[Clerk #1], in Australia, they don’t have departure stamps. They just scan because there’s a chip.”

    Clerk #1: “But she’s Asian! She’s supposed to have a departure stamp when she comes back to Singapore!”

    Me: “But I’m from Australia! My passport is Australian! It’s blue, not red!”

    Clerk #2: “She doesn’t NEED one! Just stamp her in and let her through!” *walks away*

    (Clerk #1 groans and stamps my card and slams it on the counter without saying anything.)

    Me: “Am I okay to go now?”

    Clerk #1: *throws his hands up and snaps at me* “What more do you want me to do?!”

    Me: *losing my patience and yelling* “Well you could’ve F****** TOLD ME you were F****** DONE!”

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