• Guys And Dolls
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    Should Have Better Monitored The Situation

    | PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I am the office manager and in-house IT department. I schedule a Monday off to go to the doctor. When I return to the office on Tuesday there are 14 notes from one of the partners about his broken computer. I call and inform his assistant I will be down soon and open my e-mail:)

    Partner’s Email: “[My Name], I called your office and left several notes but you didn’t return my calls. I see a note that you left saying you wouldn’t be in but my computer is broken. I called [Repair Company] and they will be in today.”

    (I call back the assistant and ask what the problem is.)

    Assistant: “I have no idea; it just won’t turn on. We called repair.”

    Me: “What happens when you turn it on?”

    Assistant: “Nothing.”

    Me: “Does the monitor come on?”

    Assistant: “No. Wait, Mr. [Partner] wants to talk to you.”

    Partner: “Look, I know you scheduled off weeks ago but this is important. I need this fixed NOW so I called for repair. I need you down here to be here when they arrive.”

    (I hurry down to his office and glance at the computer. The monitor is unplugged.)

    Me: “We should plug in the monitor before they get here. They charge by the hour so I don’t want anything slowing them down.”

    (I turn to see the partner and his assistant looking sheepish as the login screen appears. Just then the repair tech arrives.)

    Tech: “So, what seems to be the problem?”

    Me: “His monitor won’t turn on unless it’s plugged in.”

    Partner: “But I know nothing about computers!”

    Tech: “I hope you know something about accounting because I’m going to have to charge you $150 for this.”

    Not Always Right But Funny

    | TN, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Pets & Animals

    (I’m in the office, talking to the boss about a sick cat I’ve recently adopted.)

    Me: “…so my roommate and I have spent a lot of time at the vet lately. But it’s worth it to have someone to come home to.”

    Boss: “Yeah… I had a fish. He was a good companion. He’s been sick lately. I think he’s dead.”

    Me: *general understanding noise*

    Boss: “But at least I can have sushi tonight. Now he’ll satisfy me even more.”

    Me: “…”

    Boss: “That wasn’t right, was it?”

    Completely Sale’d Out

    | Milwaukee, WI, USA | Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful, Money

    (After determining that the Blu-ray player I want doesn’t have outputs that will work with my old TV, I’m trying to decide whether to wait two weeks, when I’ll be able to get a new TV also, or buy the player now, because it’s on sale.)

    Me: “So, how long is this sale good for?”

    Employee: *looks at shelf tag* “Wednesday. But don’t worry; it’ll be the same price.”

    Me: “How’s that possible? Are you saying it’s not a real sale?”

    Employee: “It’s a real sale. But these are always on sale.”

    Me: “If it’s always the same price, it’s not really on sale.”

    Employee: *backpedaling* “It’s not always the same price. Once this sale is over, it’ll be a different sale.”

    Me: “So what will the price be after Wednesday?”

    Employee: “It could be higher or lower. But it could be the same.”

    Me: *laughing* “Well, that pretty much covers it.”

    Belted Out The Punch Line

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Awesome Workers

    (I’m on an indoor ride that does not require seat belts. We are just about to start the ride in our vehicle, when one of the ride operators gets our attention.)

    Ride Operator: “If you guys could each pull on the yellow strap to be sure your seat belt is fastened, you’ll be good to go!”

    (The riders looked down to make sure they were fastened, and then they all laughed at the realization that no one, in fact, had a seat belt!)

    Their Service Skills Don’t Cut (Out) The Mustard

    , | Denver, CO, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (It’s been a long day, and I just want some quick dinner so I pull into the drive-thru.)

    Me: “Can I get a pretzel burger with no mustard, please?”

    Worker: “That doesn’t come with mustard. It comes with lettuce, tomato, onion and honey mustard.”

    Me: *facepalm* “No honey mustard then, please.”

    (Sure enough, when I get home and take a bite out of my burger, it still has honey mustard on it.)

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