• Very Genderal Humor
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  • October's Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    The Unmentionable Problem

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Bosses & Owners, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (About two or three months back we learned the hard way that there is a leak in my work area. We discovered extensive mold in the attic and the three contractors we brought in to give quotes were horrified at the condition of the roof. Sadly we had this conversation twice.)

    Boss: “Hey. Do you still have that leak in the office?”

    Me: “Yeah. I just empty the bucket whenever it gets full.”

    Boss: “Oh. I figured since you hadn’t mentioned it that maybe it wasn’t a problem anymore. I guess I’ll look at those quotes again.”

    Voicing The Concerns Of The Sick

    | Surrey, England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Health & Body

    (I’ve lost my voice. The plans for shifts are done the next day. My sister and I work for the same site so my sister calls in on my behalf.)

    Sister: “Hi, this is [Sister].”

    Manager: “Hey, is everything okay?”

    Sister: “I’m fine but [My Name] has lost her voice. She wanted you to know because it may affect her at work tomorrow.”

    Manager: “Get [My Name] to call tomorrow if she still feels bad.”

    Sister: “Uh… how is she supposed to call in if she has lost her voice?”

    Please Hold For The Employee To Get Fired

    | Finland | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (We have a very lazy and uncaring worker at our call center. He often clocks in late and clocks out early.)

    Coworker: *answers a call* “Thank you. Your call is important to us. Please hold.” *turns on CD player so loud the caller can hear the music*

    Me: *gesturing* “What the h*** are you doing?!”

    Coworker: “I’m taking a coffee break now.”

    (A minute elapses…)

    Coworker: *turns the radio off* “All the representatives are busy at the moment. Please call later.” *hangs up*

    (He didn’t stay long.)

    Salsa Burn Return

    | OH, USA | Coworkers, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (My coworker handles defective merchandise claims in the back of our store. I am walking past her area and see a cart with a box for a rocking chair and ottoman (unassembled) that is quite heavy.)

    Me: “Hey, [Coworker], do you need help lifting that box out of the cart? I can get one of the un-loaders and we can get it for you.”

    Coworker: “Oh, no, I can get it. It’s actually not that heavy.”

    Me: “Really? I helped someone put one of these on a flat cart the other day and it was really heavy.”

    Coworker: *walks to the cart and picks up the box with one hand* “See! It’s like it’s … Oh, no!”

    (We put the box on the ground and cut the tape sealing the top of the box to open it, finding that the box was empty except for a trash bag full of smashed salsa bottles.)

    Coworker: “I thought I smelled salsa. This is ridiculous.”

    Me: *looking at the front of the box where the slip from the Customer Service Desk was taped on* “I’m calling the front.”

    Front Desk Worker: “This is [Front Desk Worker]. How can I help?”

    Me: “Hey, it’s [My Name] and [Coworker] back in claims. Did you guys just return a rocking chair and ottoman?”

    Front Desk Worker: “Yes, I did. They said it was broken.”

    Me: “Did you look at it or take it out of the cart to make sure the chair was actually there?”

    Front Desk Worker: “No. I couldn’t lift the box if I tried. You know how heavy they are.”

    Me: “Well, you wouldn’t have had a problem lifting this one…”

    Losing That Holiday Sparkle

    | Pleasant Hill, CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Holidays

    (I work the graveyard shift, stocking the shelves of a craft store. My manager opens a box, and a veritable cloud of purple glitter puffs up in his face.)

    Manager: “Ugh… tomorrow I’m showing up with a shirt that says, “Yes, I know I have glitter in my beard…””

    Me: “So, wait, you’re not a sparkly vampire?”

    Manager: *eye starts twitching* “No! Oh, God, no!”

    Coworker: “Lies!”

    Manager: “You think it’s funny?! Just you wait until Christmas! This is only Halloween glitter!”

    (If that’s true, I live in fear, as we had to sweep glitter off the floors to keep them from becoming slippery. That it could be WORSE is terrifying.)

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