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  • Swearing You Into A Job
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  • Totally Wackopedia

    | Australia | Employees, Extra Stupid, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I am pushing my two-year-old daughter around the stalls at our annual agricultural show. One of the stalls is selling encyclopedia sets. As I am passing, a salesman gets in front of me.)

    Salesman: “Excuse me. Would you be interested in our encyclopedias?”

    Me: “No, thank you.”

    Salesman: “I see you have a child. It would be an asset to their education.”

    Me: “Yes, I agree, but I’ll wait until she’s actually old enough to need a set.”

    Salesman: “Don’t worry about that. Everything she will ever need is in this set. You might as well get it now for her because it will still be up to date when she’s older. There won’t be any changes in it.”

    Me: “So you are telling me that everything has been discovered? That there will be no new discoveries over the next 10 years or ever?”

    Salesman: “Yes, that is right.There’s nothing left to be discovered.”

    Me: “Nothing will ever change?”

    Salesman: “That’s right. If you just come over here I’ll sign you up and take your details for payment.”

    Me: “I don’t think so. Goodbye.”

    Radio Inactive, Part 2

    | Detroit, MI, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I’m at the hospital about to have major surgery to correct a birth defect. I’ve been getting x-rays quite a bit over the previous few months and am asked the same questions every time.)

    Tech: “Is there any chance that you could be pregnant?”

    Me: “No. Look, I realize you have to ask but I’m 13 years old and have my mother sitting right next to me. If there was a chance, do you REALLY think I would tell the truth?”

    Tech: “…”

    Mom: *almost falling over laughing*

    Related:
    Radio Inactive

    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 5

    | London, England, UK | Employees, Family & Kids, Rude & Risque, Themed Giveaway

    (I am at my dentist of 10 years having a crown put in. Since the dentist is quite far from home my sister drives me and sits in the waiting room whilst I’m having my crown put in. This conversation happens with the dentist’s assistant.)

    Assistant: “So, is that your girlfriend outside waiting for you?”

    Me: “No, that’s my sister…”

    Assistant: “Oh… you look good together. You should date!”

    (Neither of us could make eye contact with the assistant after that.)

    Related:
    From NotAlwaysRomantic:
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 4
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 3
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 2

    The Poster Child For Creepiness

    | Erie, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Family & Kids, Themed Giveaway

    (My husband and I are shopping at a large store where you can buy things in bulk. The guy cashing us out notices the lady in line behind me starting to unload her cart. She only has a few items, all which are heavier, and a small child.)

    Cashier: “Ma’am, you can just leave everything in the cart.”

    Me: “Even the child?”

    Cashier: *in a low growl* “ESPECIALLY the child.”

    (I looked at him stunned, as I was just getting ready to say that, in a similar manner. I was laughing all of the way to the car. He totally made my day!)

    Stand Your Ground

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Tourists & Travel, Transportation

    (I’m waiting to board my flight when my name is paged, so I walk over to the gate. Note that I am able-bodied.)

    Flight Attendant: “Miss [My Name]?”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Flight Attendant:  ”Another passenger has requested wheelchair assistance, too, but we only have one chair. We’ll board you first, so just wait here by the gate.”

    Me: “I don’t use a wheelchair.”

    Flight Attendant:  ”Are you sure?”

    Me: *looking down at myself, standing* “Pretty sure, yes.”

    Flight Attendant:  ”Well your booking came through first, so you will go first in the wheelchair.”

    Me: “Seriously, I don’t use a wheelchair. There must just be an error on my booking.”

    Flight Attendant:  ”Are you giving me permission to board them ahead of you? It’s your call. Like I said, you get first dibs; your booking came through first.”

    Me: “I do not need a wheelchair. By all means, board them first.”

    Flight Attendant:  ”Because your booking says you require assistance, I HAVE to follow what it says. Just wait here, I’ll get you in the chair as soon as I can.”

    (I decided to just join the line of people standing, and boarded on my own two feet without any intervention from the other FAs. Not surprisingly, she tried to wheel me off when we landed, too!)


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