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    Stuff That Website

    | UK | Employees, Technology

    (I’m walking past a popular toy store where kids get to pick out the toy the want, stuff it, and dress it. The store is currently running a My Little Pony line of toys. I dart just inside the entrance to take a quick look.)

    Worker: “Hello! How can I help you?”

    Me: “Oh, no, don’t worry! I thought this toy was [Pony I Want], but it’s really [Other Pony]. I don’t think [Pony I Want] is out in Europe yet, anyway.”

    Worker: “Oh, that one! That’s an online exclusive! It’s very sought-after; we’ve sold loads!”

    Me: “Erm… you have an online store?”

    Worker: “Yeah!”

    Me: “… isn’t [Store]‘s whole gimmick that you get to pick out and stuff the toy? How does that work if you order it?”

    Worker: “We send it pre-stuffed!”

    Me: “So, you have an online store that completely ignores the reason the store exists?”

    Worker: “Er… I suppose so?”

    A Sizeable Innuendo

    | IA, USA | Coworkers, Rude & Risque

    (At the garment factory where I work, Coworker #1 is having trouble fitting some parts together and asks our lead for help.)

    Coworker #1: “[Lead], why won’t this fit?”

    Lead: “Look at the labels. You’ve got two different sizes. That’s right, girls! Sometimes size does matter!”

    (Coworker #2 and I burst into laughter.)

    Lead: “Oh, hush, you two! An extra large won’t fit in a medium.”

    Me: “[Lead], you’re not helping your cause.”

    Putting The Decision Upon Your Shoulders

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Crazy Requests

    (A coworker and I are in the stockroom, making a pallet of salvaged and damaged items to ship back to our store’s returns center. The stockroom manager is chatting with us about a recent inspection. All three of us are very different heights.)

    Manager: “So the inspector said the pallets have to be only shoulder high.”

    Me: “Wait… what? Measured against whose shoulders?”

    Manager: “That’s what I said, but he said they should be shoulder-high to whoever’s dealing with them.”

    Coworker: “But… I’m six foot two, [My Name]‘s five and a half, and you’re four and a half feet tall… and we all have to deal with the pallets at different times.”

    Me: “Are we supposed to magically make the pallets change size, or just assume they should all be shoulder-height to the shortest person in the store?”

    Manager: “I know, right? And if we made all the pallets the height of my shoulders, we’d have twice as many to deal with. Congratulations, [Coworker], if anyone asks, you’re now officially the person who handles all the pallets.”

    An Urgent Lack Of Urgency

    | Manchester, England, UK | Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I work on the help desk at a hospital. A friend of mine in another department is on her last day with the organisation, and as she can’t be replaced, the clinical service she runs is being shut down. She calls me about 30 minutes before she’s due to leave forever because she can’t access her voicemail. She needs to record a new message to tell any patients who call that her service has been discontinued. There is no one else who can leave the message after she’s gone, so I call  the telecoms guy on his mobile and after telling her to ring me back if there’s any other issues I put her straight through. I tell my colleague my friend’s name, how urgent it’d be if she rang back, and why. About 20 minutes later, I hear this…)

    Colleague: “Okay, so your name is [Friend]? Okay… and you were just talking to [My Name]?”

    (I assume something’s gone wrong, so I get up, walk across the office and stand right next to my colleague so I can take the call from her.)

    Colleague: *completely ignoring me* “Okay, so the telecoms guy said he’d sorted it but it’s still not sorted. I’ve logged that job for you. … [My Name]? No, he’s not in the office right now. Okay, have a good day, bye!”

    (She turns to me then, big proud smile on her face.)

    Colleague: “And that’s how you fob someone off!”

    (I just stand there speechless for a moment.)

    Me: “But I told you she was my friend, and there’s literally only 10 minutes left to solve her problem, why did you do that?!”

    Colleague: “Oh, I forgot.”

    (She goes back to looking at her screen, not a care in the world.)

    He Swore It Was On Aisle Three

    | Cordova, TN, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Language & Words

    (I am looking for something in the organic section. I am in the store at around 12:15 am. I walk up to a night stocker.)

    Me: “Can you tell me where to find organic coconut oil?”

    Him: “That mother-f***** is going to be on aisle three.”

    (I walked away dumbfounded, headed to aisle three, and finally found it on aisle five.)

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