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    Your Scam Is Malfunctioning

    | Fairfax, CA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Liars/Scammers

    (I just received a call from ‘Allen,’ the Microsoft Certified Technician, who says there’s something wrong with my computer:)

    Me: “I am really busy right now, but could you please call back in five minutes at my other number?”

    Caller: “Sure. Just say the number.”

    Me: “My number is [number]. Thanks, and I look forward to chatting with you.”

    (I hang up and called the same number and the Fairfax Police Department dispatcher answers.)

    Me: “Hi, [Dispatcher]. You should expect a phone call from Allen the scammer regarding a malfunctioning computer.”

    Dispatcher: *laughs* “That’s a great one! I look forward to chatting with him!”

    Fractured My Motivation


    Make An Early Booking

    | Long Beach, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bosses & Owners, Job Seekers

    (I am 14, and I spend all my time hanging out at a particular bookstore, browsing, drinking their coffee, and reading.)

    Customer: “Excuse me; I’m looking for a science fiction novel.”

    Me: “Sure. Do you know who it’s by or what it’s called?”

    Customer: “Well, I wasn’t sure which one; it’s a gift for a friend…”

    (The customer tells me what their friend is interested in, and I recommend some of my favorite authors and help them select a book.)

    Me: “I don’t really work here, so you’ll need to see an employee to pay for it… No need to apologize. I just like this place.”

    Manager: “Excuse me; I keep seeing you doing that…”

    Me: “Yeah, I just like talking to people about my favorite books. I hope I’m not overstepping or anything…”

    Manager: “No, it’s great. You should apply for a job!”

    Me: “I’m too young, sadly. I checked the application form already…”

    Manager: “When you’re old enough, then. You practically work here already. I’m not really supposed to promise people jobs, but I think we can make an exception for you.”

    (I had to move out of town a few months later, but 16 years later I still wonder what my life would have been like if I’d been able to stay and work for them and have my first job in a place I loved!)

    A Whole New Kind Of Drinking Problem

    | ME, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

    (I work as a cashier. I’m at a large register where I scan a lot of groceries at once. I scan a glass bottle filled with a purple liquid inside.)

    Me: “Would you like your drink left out?”

    Customer: “That’s salad dressing.”

    (Puzzled, I stop and look over at the glass bottle stopped at the belt by a bunch of other items. Sure enough, it’s a brand of salad dressing, in a glass bottle, that I never knew existed!)

    Me: “…so it is!”

    Customer: “I don’t think I’d like a drink of that!”

    Me: “I don’t think so; that’d be nasty!”

    (We both laughed it off, and on the few times I’ve seen her and recognize her, we joke about it!)

    My Request Is On The Table

    | FL, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Employees, Food & Drink

    (I am part of the university’s drama club and participate in all the plays and musicals. It is tradition for the cast to go out to eat at a restaurant each night after a performance and usually we have a big cast. We take a count each night before we start the production to see who will go out to dinner afterwards and then call the restaurant ahead of time to let them know how big a group would be coming. All our dinners are late at night as well, well past 10:30 pm. One night we have a play on April 1, and I was the first one to be done getting dressed in my street clothes, so I went ahead to get our reservation. This happens when I get to the restaurant.)

    Hostess: *smiling brightly* “Hello! Welcome to [Restaurant]. Do you have a reservation?”

    Me: “Hey there. I’m with [drama club that has 20+ people]. Are our tables ready?”

    Hostess: *her smile drops and she has a horrified look on her face* “Ummm… excuse me for one moment…”

    (She goes to the back to get someone and I stand at the front of the restaurant feeling very confused. The hostess comes with her manager, both looking worried. After they check a few things on their computer, he turns to me:)

    Me: “Is everything okay?”

    Manager: “Oh yeah, don’t worry! We have enough tables for your group.”

    Me: “So, what was the problem?”

    Manager: “Honestly, when we got the call for your reservation we thought it was actually an April’s Fool prank since you had so many people coming so late!”

    (I had a good laugh with the employees and when everyone else came we got our usual group of tables. The other cast members had a good laugh at the fake April Fool’s joke we pulled on the poor employees.)

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