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    Not So Closely Guarded

    | CA, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Physical

    (Due to some robberies in the area the bank has hired additional security guards to patrol outside of the building. I’ve just finished going over some paperwork with an accountant and am walking to my car when a vagrant in a dirty coat ambushes me. Note that I’m a woman who is 5′ 1” and weighs less than a hundred pounds.)

    Me: “Hey, let go!”

    Thief: *slurring* “Listen, I just WANT some WINE!”

    (Stumbling, the guy grabs at my purse and tries yanking it out my arms.)

    Me: “Help! Get this guy off me!”

    (I spend the next several minutes fighting off the drunken thief. Finally I manage to get free, only to find he managed to steal my car keys and phone in the scuffle. My hair and clothes a mess, I stumble back into the bank so I can call for help. The bank manager instantly spots me and rushes over.)

    Bank Manager: “Oh, my goodness! What happened? Are you okay? Did you contact one of the security guards about the attack?”

    (I explain the situation when the security guard who was supposed to be watching the parking lot wanders in.)

    Guard: “So, my shift’s over in three minutes. Is it okay if I clock out now?”

    Me: “Hey, where the f*** were you when I was being attacked by that crazed bum?”

    Guard: “Oh, calm down, lady. Don’t be so melodramatic. It’s not like you got jumped by a gang of people.”

    (I’m literally stunned by his flippant regard about not helping me.)

    Me: “So, you didn’t think you should have gotten involved when one of your bank’s customers was attacked by someone twice her size?”

    Guard: “Look, it’s not my job to protect bank customers. Now if—”

    (The bank manager, who had been silent during this exchange, finally speaks up.)

    Manager: “Then what the f*** is your job, [Guard]? Because from where I stand protecting our customers from random thieves in our parking lot sounds like exactly the kind of job we hired extra security for.”

    (The manager asked me to review the parking lot footage with him and the guard. The footage showed the guard actually stopping and watching the entire fight from a safe distance, never interfering during the 10-minute-long fight or even after when I dragged myself inside. Despite his iron-clad defense that it ‘wasn’t his job to help people’ the manager fired him on the spot.)

    Gunning For A Promotion

    | Omaha, NE, USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid

    (I work in the garden center of a large department store and am covering a lunch break in sporting goods. A manager who is notorious for being controlling and generally incompetent happens to come by and notices the gun cabinet is unlocked.)

    Me: “Oh, yeah. A customer wanted to look at a gun. He just left. I was just about to lock it back up.”

    Manager: “I don’t want you letting people look at guns. You aren’t trained to sell guns.”

    Me: “I know that. I wasn’t going to sell it; he just wanted to look at it. That doesn’t require any training. They have a safety clip only we can take off and there’s obviously no ammo in them.”

    Manager: “I don’t want you letting people looking at guns. What if they hit you over the head with it, knocked you out, and ran out of the store? They would have just stolen the gun.”

    (I was looking for a promotion, so I just smile and nod. Later, I am talking to the sporting goods associate.)

    Me: “[Manager] told me not to let people look at guns because they could be used as a club. I wonder if she realizes that less than a hundred feet away we have completely unsecured and uncovered axes and machetes in the garden center, along with enough pool chemicals and fertilizers to make a crude bomb without anyone noticing.”

    Coworker: “Yeah, I’ve never heard of that policy. She’s an idiot.”

    Has A Thick Skin About It

    | USA | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (My aunt just got diagnosed with skin cancer. I go once or twice a week to tan, so I decide to cancel my subscription. The sales associate is very ‘baked.’)

    Sales Associate: “Hi, welcome to [Store]. How may I help you?”

    Me: “Hi. Yeah, I actually need to cancel my subscription here.”

    Sales Associate: “Oh, that’s too bad! Do you mind if I ask why?”

    Me: “Well, my aunt just got diagnosed with skin cancer, and it was sort of a wake up call…”

    Sales Associate: “Really? That happened to me, too! My mom has skin cancer.”

    Me: “…and you still work and tan here?”

    Sales Associate: “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

    Me: “…”

    I Nintendon’t Believe It

    | San Jose, CA, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Technology

    (I’m meeting up with a friend who often hangs out at a game shop. It is literally a knock off of a very popular game shop, to the point of using the same font and coloration. I’m pretty uncomfortable, but I haven’t seen this friend in a while, so I stick around. Then, a teenager walks in.)

    Teen: “Hey, I dropped off my 3DS to be fixed. Any idea when it’s going to be fixed?”

    Employee: “Um, I’ll call the owner and find out.”

    (Employee calls the owner, then returns.)

    Employee: “So, the technician has had to take care of his family a lot recently, so he hasn’t been in to fix anything. Just come back next week, and it’ll probably be fine.”

    (The teen leaves.)

    Employee: *after teen is completely gone* “So, we kind of lost his 3DS…”

    No Netflix In Prison


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