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  • June's Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

    He’ll Have The Obnoxiously Sweet Ham

    , | Australia | Awesome Customers, Coworkers

    (I am working with one coworker who is in a horrible mood and refusing to serve customers unless she absolutely has to. She was wiping a bench and I am carefully washing raw chicken juice off my arms to serve a man who is standing right in front of my coworker, patiently waiting as she ignores him. A loud, slightly deranged regular comes in and, assuming the other customer is being served, approaches me.)

    Loud Customer: *cheerful* “Hey love! How are ya?”

    Me: “I’m good. I hope you’re well! Sorry, but I have to take care of this gentleman here first. You’re next, though. I promise.”

    Loud Customer: “S’fine, what about the other lady? Lady! Hey, heeey! I need some brawn! Pork brawn, thank you, love!”

    Coworker: *defeated sigh*

    (She serves the loud customer and I serve the other man. The loud customer is VERY loudly chattering away about some conspiracy theory and why he doesn’t eat certain hams. My coworker and I both wind up at the wrapping station for our orders at the same time.)

    Coworker: *mutters darkly, so only I can hear* “Holy f****ing h***.”

    Me: “Ha. I love him! He actually made you do your job.”

    Coworker: *cracks her first smile of the day* “I know; I hate it.”

    (As the loud customer left, he practically yelled at my coworker to feel better. Apparently being obnoxious isn’t so bad, as long as you’re sweet at the same time!)

    Can’t ‘Wiggle’ Out Of That One

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Coworkers, New Hires, Theme Of The Month

    (My husband and I work for the same company. We share a fairly uncommon last name – for example, let’s say that it’s ‘Wigglesworth.’ We’ve just gotten back from vacation and are telling our coworkers about it at our coffee break.  One of the coworkers is fairly new. He’s been there for at least a couple of months.)

    Husband: “It was great! We got to see [Attraction], and the weather was perfect.”

    Me: “We got to see my folks, too, because they live close to [Attraction].”

    Fairly New Coworker: “Hold on. YOU went on this trip, too?”

    Me: “…Yes?”

    Fairly New Coworker: “You travelled together? Wow.” *he’s got a ‘ooh, scandal!’ expression on his face*

    Other Coworker: “You do realize that [Husband] and [My Name] are married, right?”

    Fairly New Coworker: “What? No! How would I know that?”

    Other Coworker: “How about the fact that they’re both named ‘Wigglesworth?'”

    Fairly New Coworker: “Well, how was I supposed to figure that out?!”

    Needs To Prescribe Themselves Some Attentiveness

    | MI, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I’ve been going to the same chain drugstore for a while now. Having moved and been diagnosed with diabetes, taking medication has become a fairly standard part of my life. I am picking some prescriptions when I am told that they can’t find one I had refilled the night before.)

    Clerk: “Huh, that’s strange. It says it was filled this morning by [Pharmacist] but I can’t find it.”

    Me: “Well, I really kinda need it. It’s a diabetic medication and I really can’t go skipping a day.”

    (The clerk tells me if I’m willing to wait 20 minutes that they can refill it. I pay for my other medications and he bags them.)

    Clerk: “Okay, that’s all done if you’ll just step to the side at that window they’ll let you know when it’s ready.”

    (I am confused but do as he says as he makes a motion to move my bag of prescriptions to wait with me. The woman behind me, a snobby soccer mom if there was one, immediately steps up as I edge away from the counter. She states her name loudly and starts complaining about how long she’s had to wait and how they really need more staff. After 15 minutes, the people at the other counter confirm what I need and have me sit down. When my prescription is ready I am once again called to the clerk to pay for the last one.)

    Clerk: “Okay and your total is [total]. Would you like to add this to your other bag?”

    (He offers the prescription towards me and I give him a hard look.)

    Me: “You can put it in with the rest of my medications you have.”

    Clerk: “Ma’am, I already gave you your medications.”

    (I look at him and gesture towards my t-shirt, jeans and non-existent purse.)

    Me: “And where exactly do you think I have them? You kept my medications. You never handed them to me.”

    Clerk: “You took your prescriptions. I bagged them and handed them to you.”

    Me: “You did bag them, and then you told me to move to the other window. You never handed them to me.”

    (It was at this time one of the actual pharmacists stepped over.)

    Pharmacist: “Ma’am. Is there something wrong?”

    Me: “Yes. Your clerk is trying to claim that I have given me my meds but I never got them. I have the one.” *I hold up the one he just rang* “But I don’t know what he did with the other three.”

    (The clerk has now given up and is completely ignoring me, ringing up other customers behind me.)

    Pharmacist: “Ma’am, would you like me to call a manager?”

    Me: “Yes, please do. I want you to watch the security footage and find out where my medications went.”

    (I am asked to wait and within a minute a manager shows up. He’s one I’ve dealt with before and have gotten fairly friendly with.)

    Manager: “Don’t worry, [My Name]. We’ll get this all sorted out.”

    Me: “You know I hadn’t thought about it till now, but the girl behind me was named [Name]. You may need to call her.”

    (Another 30 minutes and four missing refills later, it was discovered that the clerk had indeed bagged my medication, and then proceeded to bag the snobby lady’s meds on top of mine and hand her the entire bag. I haven’t seen that clerk at that store since.)

    Don’t Lose Your Head(phones) Over It

    | Croatia | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Musical Mayhem, Theme Of The Month

    (I am a programmer, but I work on the floor with finance people. Since there’s a lot of noise in the office I work with my headphones on to drown out the noise since I don’t do anything connected with them. We’re currently in a staff meeting.)

    Boss: “So, that takes care of it. Does anyone have any suggestions or complaints?”

    New Coworker: “YES! I wish [My Name] to stop wearing headphones!”

    Boss: “Why? He asked to use them so he can concentrate better on what he does.”

    New Coworker: “It’s anti-social and I can’t communicate with him if I need him for something! It’s ruining the workflow!”

    Me: “Well, if you have anything to ask you could, you know, walk up to me and tap me on the shoulder? And even then, it can’t be work related since we don’t work on anything together.”

    New Coworker: “Well, I can hear his music and it’s bothering me!”

    Coworker #1: “No, you can’t. I’m sitting next to him and I can’t hear anything.”

    Boss: “Unless it’s bothering the whole office, I don’t intend to force the only programmer in the company to listen to all of you yelling to each other. If that’s it, we’re done.”

    (Next day when I came to work I realise I forgot my thumb drive on which I keep my music. I still keep my headphones on, since they provide some noise isolation, but I’m not listening to music. Boss is passing by New Coworker’s desk when the latter practically jumps at him.)

    New Coworker: “LISTEN! Can’t you hear that music of his! I can’t even concentrate on job I’m doing!”

    Me: “You might want to visit a shrink, Miss [New Coworker].”

    New Coworker: “NOW HE’S EVEN INSULTING ME!”

    Me: “I’m not.” *I unplug the headphones from speakers on my table* “I’m not listening to music, because I forgot the drive with my music at home. If you think you’re hearing music, I would really recommend you to visit a professional.”

    Boss: “[New Coworker], stop being disruptive and leave [My Name] alone. He’s not bothering you.”

    New Coworker: “IF HE DOESN’T HAVE HIS DRIVE HE IS JUST LISTENING TO MUSIC ONLINE!”

    Boss: “[New Coworker] -”

    New Coworker: “YES! HE’S EVEN WASTING COMPANY INTERNET AND KEEPING ME FROM WORKING! YOU MUST STOP HIM!”

    Coworker #1: “He’s not listening to music online, you idiot!”

    New Coworker: “OH, REALLY?!”

    Boss: “Yes, really, because the Internet has been down for two hours. Which also means he can’t be disrupting you since all of your work is done online. Now, why don’t you step into my office for a nice conversation about the way we should act in a workplace, okay?”

    (New Coworker never bothered me about listening to music after that.)

    Rated ‘M’ For Mom

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Employees

    (My boyfriend and I look nothing alike. He is five inches taller than me, has dark curly hair, and is as thin as a toothpick. He also has a really dark complex. On the other hand I am blonde, have an athletic build, and am freakishly pale. We are in a video game store and he is making a purchase.)

    Cashier: “Okay, sir, this game is rated M for mature, so I need to see some ID.”

    Boyfriend: “Sure, no problem.”

    (My boyfriend starts to reach into his pocket to grab his ID when the cashier notices me.)

    Cashier: “Ma’am, I need to let you know that this game is unsuitable for people under the age of 17 due to graphic violence, blood, and swear words. So I need to see your ID.”

    Me: “Why do you need to see my ID? I’m not buying anything.”

    Cashier: “This game has violence and blood, and may be unsuitable for him, so I have to let his parents know.”

    Me: “I’m not his mother, so there really isn’t a reason for you to tell me or ask for my ID.”

    Cashier: “It is rated M, which is a rating from the ESRB saying that there is graphic violence and blood, and shouldn’t be played by anyone under the age of 17.”

    Boyfriend: “Erm… dude, I’m 20.”

    Me: “I’m 19, and I’m not making a purchase. ”

    Cashier: “If you’re not making a purchase then I’m going to ask you to leave, as your son is not old enough to make this purchase.”

    (At this point I am starting to get self-conscious.)

    Me: “[Boyfriend], do I really look old enough to be your mom?”

    Boyfriend: “Nope.”

    (My boyfriend hands his ID to the cashier, who just continues to look at me expectantly.)

    Cashier: “Ma’am, I need your ID.”

    (My boyfriend ended up asking for the manager, who was just as insistent that I need to show my ID so my ‘son’ can buy a game.)


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