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    A Hard Day’s Wokr

    | Ashford, Kent, UK | Coworkers, Language & Words

    (At my store we often joke about who has been doing work that day and who hasn’t, even though everyone is a hard worker, Such an exchange happens today:)

    Coworker: “I heard a rumour that [My Name] was going to do some work today.”

    Me: *chuckling* “No, don’t be silly! What is this ‘work’ you speak of?”

    Coworker: “It’s a four-letter word that starts with ‘W’ and ends with ‘R.'”

    (He realizes what he has just said. We both laugh.)

    Me: “[Coworker], this just proves that you know nothing about work!”

    Should Ship Them Some Etiquette

    | México | Bad Behavior, Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I’m calling a national courier in a very rural area; this is as close to a transcript as I can make.)

    Front Desk: “Yeah?”

    Me: *taken aback by the lack of greeting* “…Hi? Am I calling [Company]?”

    Front Desk: “Yeah, what do you need?”

    Me: “…I was wondering when will my package arrive? My routing nu—”

    Front Desk: *interrupts me* “—Yeah, hold on. That’s with Shipping. Let me transfer you.” *holds down the phone and shouts* “[Shipping Guy]! SOMEONE IS CALLING YOU!”

    (A minute later:)

    Shipping Guy: “Yeah? What do you want?”

    (It all went downhill from that.)

    That’s The Way The Birthday Cookie Crumbles

    | Lincolnwood, IL, USA | Coworkers, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (Whenever it’s someone’s birthday, we all bring in treats and I ALWAYS bring in my homemade cookies because I get requests for them. An email is sent out to everyone the day or two before EXCEPT the birthday person so it’s kind of a surprise for them. This happens on my birthday.)

    Coworker: *standing in party cube surveying the treats* “Hey, [My Name], where’s your cookies? I don’t see them anywhere. They can’t be all gone already?!

    Me: “…”

    Coworker: *as they slowly realize the name on the birthday signs* “Oh, it’s YOUR birthday, isn’t it?”

    Don’t Go Soft On The Missing Hardback

    | St Louis, MO, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Money

    (I have reserved a book under my name and go in to collect it the day it arrives.)

    Me: “Hi, I’ve come to collect [Book]. It’s under [My Name].”

    Cashier: “Sorry, it’s not here. You’ll have to order again.”

    Me: “Oh. Okay.”

    (I write down another order.)

    Cashier: “That’ll be [price].”

    Me: “What?!”

    Cashier: “It’s standard for ordering.”

    Me: “I already paid for the book when I gave the first order. You can’t find the book.”

    Cashier: “Oh, yeah. Oops.”

    (They called me the next day to say it had been found. It was mixed up with another customer’s order, put in their bag by mistake, and was handed back in. Never going back there.)

    Not Trying To Be A Pest(o)

    | NM, USA | Crazy Requests, Employees, Food & Drink

    (I order a mushroom calzone with no pesto. When I get my order it has pesto on it, so I take it back up to the counter.)

    Me: “Excuse me, I ordered this with no pesto.”

    Employee: “Sorry, the mushrooms come canned in a pesto sauce.We can’t make one without the other.”

    Me: “I specifically asked if it could me made without pesto when I ordered it and [Other Employee] said yes. Can I at least get something else?”

    Employee: “We don’t do returns. You’re just going to have to eat it.”

    Me: “No, I’m allergic to nuts. This could literally kill me.”

    Employee: “Well, sorry, but—”

    Manager: “Is there a problem here?”

    (I explain the situation to him, and he not only refunds me but he also gives me a slice of cheese pizza for free.)

    Manager: “Sorry for almost killing you!”

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