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  • Not So Closely Guarded
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  • Bigotry Is A Bitter Pill To Swallow

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Bigotry, Employees, Health & Body

    (I am at a health clinic trying to get some care. I am a transgender man, so this sometimes proves aggravating.)

    Nurse: “So, what are you here for again?”

    Me: “I need to be on the pill or get an IUD.”

    Nurse: *after giving me the side-eye* “Um, no.”

    Me: “I get that I don’t look like a woman, but I assure you I can still get pregnant.”

    Nurse: “Yeah, I’m going to have to go ask the doctor what to do here.”

    Me: “Really?”

    (I sit for the next 20 minutes as they ‘sort it out.’)

    Nurse: “I talked to the doctor, and he’s not comfortable treating you at all.”

    (Turned out they didn’t want to give me contraception at all. I ended up going to the local Planned Parenthood who were more than happy to serve a transgender man, and had cheaper, more abundant, options anyway. I still had to pay for that crap doctor’s appointment, too.)

    Working In An Animal House

    | Ireland | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Pets & Animals

    (For security reasons, in my job you cannot walk behind the counter without someone opening a door. As a joke, I sometimes scrabble at the door and meow until someone lets me in. My supervisor gets a kick out of this, so I always have to meow to be let in.)

    Me: “Meow.”

    Coworker: “Why are you meowing?”

    Me: “Oh, [Supervisor] makes me meow before she lets me in.”

    Coworker: “Oh. Woof.”

    Me: “Meow.”

    Coworker: “Woof.”

    Me: “Meow.”

    Coworker: “WOOF.”

    Me: *giving in* “Woof.”

    Coworker: “You sicken me!”

    Scheduling The End

    | TX, USA | Coworkers, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Lazy/Unhelpful, Top

    (I’m only 23, but I’m good at what I do and I was promoted to management in the customer service department a few months ago. I have been instructed to hire two people to work under me, but I’m having trouble finding and keeping qualified people. One employee has stuck around, but I like her less everyday. She frequently makes long personal calls at her desk while on the clock. I have caught her on Facebook and checking her personal email on her work computer. I notice her working on something at her desk but think nothing of it. Several hours later she comes over and hands me a three page packet of calendars.)

    Employee: “I’ve taken the liberty of writing up my work schedule for the next three months. Please agree to work around it.”

    Me: *taken aback at her gall* “Um, that’s not how we handle the schedule here. I write the schedule and if you have any special circumstances I can take those into consideration.”

    Employee: “No, just use this. This is what I want.”

    Me: “I understand that, but ultimately I will schedule you when I need you to be here.”

    (She tries to argue with me but I go back to work. She hounds me nearly every day about the schedule she has written since she presented it to me. I’ve had enough.)

    Employee: “So, have you finished looking over my schedule yet?”

    Me: “Yes. I’m letting you go.”

    Death Of A Sales Pitch, Part 4

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Employees, Family & Kids

    (It’s early in the morning before my college classes start. The phone rings as I am making my breakfast.)

    Caller: “Hello. May I speak with Gloria?”

    Me: *laughs* “Sure.”

    (I proceed to hold the phone up to the mantle in our living room, where my grandmother’s ashes sit. I can hear him go off on his script, pause, and call ‘Ma’am?’ several times. I give him a break.)

    Me: “Sir, my grandmother is dead. The only way you could possibly be unaware of that is if you’re selling something. My toast is done. I need to go.”

    (I hung up on him and went back to my morning routine.)

    Death Of A Sales Pitch, Part 3
    Death Of A Sales Pitch, Part 2
    Death Of A Sales Pitch

    Troubleshooting Has Bad Aim

    | VA, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I call my Internet provider because my service is off-line. I navigate through an automated menu that has me confirm my service is totally dead and I am unable to get online. I’m put on hold to wait for a technician.)

    Recorded Message: “While you wait, you may review our troubleshooting tips online at www. …”

    Me: *to myself* “WHY did I just spend two minutes confirming my Internet was off-line?”

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