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    An Unwarranted Warranty Pitch

    | OH, USA | Family & Kids, Money, Transportation

    (I’m just about 30 though I look younger. I’ve never had to own a car before due to living, until recently, in a city with great public transport. My dad goes with me to help me buy my first vehicle, and all goes very well until the very final step where the dealership tries to ‘hard sell’ various extra warranties and bells and whistles. The employee who handles this is a woman who only looks to be less than ten years older than I am, but she treats me incredibly condescendingly the entire time.)

    Employee: “All right! Welcome to adulthood. It all goes downhill from here! Ha ha!” *proceeds to look at my credit reports* “Well! You’re really lucky to have such great credit.”

    Me: “What?!”

    Dad: “Yeah, luck’s got nothing to do with that. That’s a lot of hard work.”

    Employee: “Uh… anyway, these are our warranty packages. We have [super expensive extra warranty], [kind of expensive extra warranty], [expensive extra warranty], and [basic but still extra warranty]. Which one can I put you down for?”

    Me: “Er, I just want the basic. The one that comes with it.”

    Employee: “All right! That’s this one, and it’ll put your payment up to [amount way over my budget and higher than the established monthly payment I’d already negotiated].”

    Dad: “No, I think she means she doesn’t want an extra one at all.”

    Me: “Yes, that’s right; I don’t want any extra warranty. I just want the one that comes with the vehicle. I’m not paying for anything extra.”

    Employee: *flustered* “Well, you know, that’s not a very good idea. We really can’t do anything for you on that one, and these are so much better. Like this one, [pushes one of the more expensive warranties at me].”

    Me: *firmly* “No, I don’t want to add anything to my monthly payment. I’m fine with the basic warranty it comes with.”

    Employee: *angrily, to my dad, for some reason* “And what are you going to do when she wrecks it within the first two months!?”

    Dad: “Then we’ll pay for it.”

    Employee: *gives me death glare* “Well, that must be REALLY NICE. That’s just great. Can I get adopted into your family?”

    Me: “With an attitude like that?!”

    Won’t Be A Jersey Boy Anymore

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Coworkers, Musical Mayhem

    (Our theater picked up Jersey Boys, a musical about the band, the Four Seasons. Consequently, some of the music would sometimes get stuck in our heads.)

    Coworker: *singing* “Sheeeery, Sherry baby, baaaaaby…”

    Me: “If you don’t stop, I will castrate you so that you actually sound like that!”

    Don’t Ever Call Him Daddy

    | Dover, DE, USA | Employees, Family & Kids

    (I’m 23, and I meet up with my father to have our eye doctor’s appointments on the same day because money’s tight for me and I’m still under his insurance even though I’ve moved out. When we meet up inside the waiting room at the sign-in desk, we chat for a bit and I say “hey dad” upon seeing him walk in. This happens once I’m taken back to an exam room and am waiting for the doctor.)

    Assistant: *opens up the door and leans in* “Your husband’s getting his pupils dilated, but the doctor will see you soon.”

    Me: “My dad, but thanks.”

    Assistant: “Oh, my God, I’m sorry! I just saw you two together chatting and was thinking ‘She’s awful young for him’, but I wasn’t going to say anything.”

    (I assure her that it’s okay, but after my appointment ends I’m waiting for him since he’s offered to take care of my copay and I wanted to chat with him more because I don’t see him that often.)

    Receptionist: “Is your husband taking care of the copay Mrs. [Last Name].”

    Me: “My FATHER is taking care of it, yes.”

    (Now I don’t know if my dad looks good for being in his mid 50s, or if I look bad for being in my early 20s…)

    Refuses To Go Through The 20 cm Questions

    | Lisbon, Portugal | Employees

    (I bought a bed at Ikea and at the center it needed a piece of wood to sustain the weight. Just my luck, the part that came from IKEA was 10 cm too short. So I go to one of those large home-improvement stores where they sell everything you might need and will even cut the wood in the size you require, for free. I show the part to the employee and explain:)

    Me: “I need a piece of wood just like this, but with 20 cm instead of 10 cm.”

    Employee: “Sorry, we can’t. Our machine only cuts a minimum of 23 cm.”

    Me: “You’re telling me there is no way you can cut a piece of wood exactly 20 cm?”

    Employee: “That’s right.”

    (I am a bit confused and walk around the store for a bit. At some point I pick up a 260 cm piece of wood and take it to the cutting area.)

    Me: “Can you cut this exactly 240cm ?”

    Employee: “Sure, give a few minutes.”

    (He did and when he got back I had my 20 cm piece of wood to finish assembling the bed.)

    Projecting A Raise

    | CO, USA | Coworkers, Money

    (Our development team has recently gone from five developers down to two. We’ve tried to split the work but most of it has fallen on me since one project takes so much effort to keep up, the other guy can’t work on anything else. We are currently talking to a partner overseas about who needs to come over to work on a joint project.)

    Partner: “So… we’d need the guy in charge of [Project #1]. That’s [My Name], right?”

    Me: “Yup. Cool I get to travel!”

    Partner: “And probably the guy who took over [Project #2].”

    Manager: “Okay, sure, that makes sense.”

    Partner: “And whoever is in charge of [Project #3] now.”

    Manager: “Sure.”

    Partner: “And whoever knows how [Entire Product Line] is set up and installed on site as well. That is really important.”

    Manager: “Yes, it is! Okay, anything else?”

    Partner: “I don’t know… I feel bad… I feel like I’m taking your entire team.”

    Manager: “Actually, everything you named is [My Name]…”

    Partner: “Oh! Well, [My Name], have any questions?”

    Me: “Yeah… This just came to my attention… Can I get a raise?”

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