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    Look At The Shirt Before You Get Shirty

    | SA, Australia | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Employees

    (My volunteer group has just finished up a community event and we are all wearing bright green promotional shirts. As many other restaurants are full, we all go for lunch at a small pub where the only customers are two middle-aged couples. I am last in line to pay after we have eaten.)

    Friend In Front Of Me: “Just the lasagna and lemon squash, thanks.”

    (He pays for his items and steps aside with the others who have paid so I can approach the register.)

    Cashier: *to friend* “Hey, there’s still a meal and drink to pay for! Don’t think you can just walk on out of here without settling your bill!”

    Me: “Um—”

    Cashier: *glances at me* “One moment, please.” *to friend* “Just because there’s so many of you it doesn’t mean you can confuse me into thinking you’ve paid for everything! Split billing keeps track of all of it!”

    Friend In Front Of Me: *gesturing at me* “Uh, there’s still one more to pay—”

    Cashier: “Yes, exactly. One more surf-n-turf and a [soda]! Now are you going to cover the difference between you all or is the cheat who tried to get their meal for free going to own up?”

    Another Friend: “I think she has been patiently waiting to pay this whole time.”

    (The cashier turns towards me and slowly looks me up and down. I’m in the same lime shirt as all the others.)

    Cashier: “Oh, I didn’t know you were with them.”

    Not Driving This Conversation Anywhere

    | ON, Canada | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Transportation

    (The bus arrives and I don’t know if it’s the right one.)

    Me: “Does this bus stop at [Street]?”

    Bus Driver: “You need to pay.”

    Me: “I know that. Does this stop at [Street]?”

    Bus Driver: “It stops at all the stops.”

    (I get on and realize I don’t know when I was supposed to press the stop button.)

    Me: “Could you please tell me when I’m supposed to press the button?”

    Bus Driver: “You will know when we get there!”

    Tiring Hitting The Books And The Bookstores

    | KY, USA | Employees, Language & Words

    (I’m a student, and to put myself through college I work two jobs: one at a popular local bookstore, and the other for the university opera department as a receptionist, usually answering questions about upcoming productions and taking messages for faculty who are either teaching or giving private lessons. One day I’m at the opera office, after working a closing shift at the bookstore the previous night. The phone rings.)

    Me: “Thanks you for calling [Bookstore]. How can I help you?”

    (Long pause.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [University opera department]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “It’s been a long day for you, hasn’t it?”

    Shoot First, Ask Questions Later

    , | USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Employees, Food & Drink

    (It has been a really busy day and we are backed up about 30 minutes per-order. We have about five mini pepperoni pizzas left.)

    Me: “So, this is nothing compared to how Superbowl Sunday will be?”

    Supervisor: “Nope. It’s gonna be rough.”

    Me: “Man, can I just shoot myself now?”

    Supervisor: “NO! Wait until you are outside… and you have to get me first.”

    Me: “Aw, I don’t want to hurt you.”

    (My supervisor drops three of the last pepperoni mini-pizzas.)

    Me: “Never mind. You first.”

    Badly Treating Your Labor Force

    | Grand Rapids, MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Health & Body

    (I’m working as a waitress and I need to get another enormous tub of ice cream. I’m very pregnant and can’t reach the high shelf it’s on in the walk in, so I bring another server back with me to help. The walk in is very deep with three doors on the way to the very back where the ice cream is kept. This section is the coldest. It’s kept at about 20 degrees. As we are leaving with the ice cream, the door won’t open.)

    Me: “These don’t lock on their own, do they?”

    Coworker: “No, they have padlocks. Otherwise they just push open.”

    (We both shove against the door as hard as we can, but it won’t budge. We start banging and yelling for help, but there are three closed doors between us and the rest of the staff. We are locked back there for at least twenty minutes before a cook comes back. He opens the door laughing.)

    Cook: “Haha, you should see the look on your faces! That was rich!”

    Me: *shivering* “You locked us in? On purpose?!”

    Cook: “Yeah! I didn’t mean to leave you in so long. We got busy. By the way, the manager is looking for you two. Your tables are pissed that you’ve been gone so long.”

    Coworker: “You idiot! She’s nine months pregnant!”

    (The cook walked away. We reported him to the manager, but the manager still blamed us for going back there in the first place. I proceeded to go into labor and have my baby four hours later. I would hate to think it was from the stress of being frozen and then written up!)


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